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Etiquette

What should I give employee for wedding?

I will soon be attending the wedding of one of my employees in the Chicago area.  Both my husband and I will be attending.  What's an appropriate gift?  I don't want to look cheap or go over the top.
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Re: What should I give employee for wedding?

  • What do you feel comfortable spending? And do you plan on giving a physical gift off their registry or a cash gift?

    For a coworker, I'd likely spend $75-100. But that's me.

  • Honestly, it would depend on a couple of things:

    1) how personally close I am to the individual
    2) how much my budget could afford

    I would probably spend the same as @zobird. And for a co-worker, I'd get a boxed gift. I don't really have a good reason for that, I just would. And it would be something for the kitchen or dining room - not the bedroom or bathroom.
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    [Deleted User]Miss Esa
  • My DH and I got $150 and $200 from his two supervisors for our wedding last year.

    One attended with his wife, and one declined

    We always give cash to coworkers for weddings as we find registry gifts to be too personal.

  • Generally, we give cash for weddings in our area.  We are not personally close with the couple, but I am the groom's supervisor, so I don't want to look cheap.  I was thinking $125.
  • You're the boss? Can you give more info on what type of work environment this is? Are you a Big Law partner and she's your secretary? Or are you her manager in a low-key office, or manager of retail? That kind of plays apart on what would be appropriate. I would give a minimum of $200 as it's both you and DH and your employee.
  • nkotb_fan said:
    Generally, we give cash for weddings in our area.  We are not personally close with the couple, but I am the groom's supervisor, so I don't want to look cheap.  I was thinking $125.

    For a Chicago (downtown?) wedding...I would have to say $200 if you're attending with your spouse.

     


     

  • We work in the Marketing department for a manufacturing company ($3.5 billion revenue / 36,000 employees globally).  I'm the manager for the Americas and the groom reports to me.  There are three levels between me and the CEO, so I wouldn't say I'm a "big" boss.

    The only co-workers invited to the wedding are me and my boss, who is the global director.

  • I absolutely don't think cash is crass.  I think that may be a regional difference.  Most people around here give cash and I know that's what we needed when we got married.  It's in the suburbs, not downtown, so I think $200 is a little much.

    ACMRAW
  • cap816 said:
    I think the $100 range is appropriate.  Also, I think a boxed gift is best.  Cash seems so impersonal, and crass.

    *sigh*
    ACMRAW
  • I would give my standard $200 check, with a $2 bill for luck tucked into the card. Cash is a perfectly acceptable wedding gift.
  • cap816 said:
    I think the $100 range is appropriate.  Also, I think a boxed gift is best.  Cash seems so impersonal, and crass.
    Yeah, I think you are in the minority on this one.  Cash =/= crass.
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  • Cash =/= crass at all BUT the fact that this is an employee does make this situation stickier. I'd give cash if you are comfortable, and give what you can afford - I'd go for the $50-75 range. If you're wary of cash, give a gift card for that amount or purchase something from the registry for that range.
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  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2013
    My rule of thumb  is for family weddings I give cash, for friends and co-workers I ususally purchase something off the registry. While giving cash isn't crass, I don't feel comfortable giving it unless it's family. But that works for only me.

  • If both you and your husband attending, I would definitely not give less than $50 per person. In this situation for a boss attending a Chicago-area wedding, I agree with previous posters that I would give $200 total.
    NYCMercedesSTARMOON44
  • Wedding gifts must be regional, but people in my area (rural New England) give $50-$75 a couple. So OP, I'm not sure what would be appropriate since we're all over the country. I would give what you can afford and are comfortable with. It should not be based around how much the couple spends on their wedding. 

  • In the Chicago area and considering you are this person's boss?  I'd give a minimum of $200.
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  • Crass is a really strong word to describe a cash gift for a wedding. 

    I'm on the side of giving my employees a boxed gift, but I certainly don't think cash is crass. OP, either is fine, it a personal preference.
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    NYCMercedesSTARMOON44[Deleted User]
  •  

    In the Chicago area and considering you are this person's boss?  I'd give a minimum of $200.
    Seconded. Metro Chicago from a boss...I would definitely say $150-$200 from a couple.
    NYCMercedesSTARMOON44
  • I live in PA and give $50, if FI goes with me it is $100.  I'd say $100-$200 for your situation.  Cash is my favorite gift to get and that also makes it my favorite gift to give.  I also really enjoy getting/giving a nice card with a heartfelt message written inside.
  • This is all regional. I'm in the NYC/NJ region and can't imagine ever giving anyone less than $100 if I were the only attending, $200 if it was FI and I. If I were there boss it'd probably be closer to $300. Also, in my area/circle everyone gives cash for wedding gifts. Nothing crass about!
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I'm actually wondering the same thing.
  • I don't think it's rude, its just not a rule. You should give the gift based on other factors than covering the plate.
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  • I don't understand how choosing to "cover your plate" could ever be considered rude. No one is forcing me to do it.

    If both my fiance and I attend, I know the couple is putting out more money for the extra person, so I include more in the gift.
    STARMOON44itzMS
  • FutureMrsN3312FutureMrsN3312 Dirty Jersey member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper

    This is all regional. I'm in the NYC/NJ region and can't imagine ever giving anyone less than $100 if I were the only attending, $200 if it was FI and I. If I were there boss it'd probably be closer to $300. Also, in my area/circle everyone gives cash for wedding gifts. Nothing crass about!
    Agreed!  Around here (Northern NJ) we give 300-400 for a Saturday night wedding.
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  • scribe95 said:
    Just a question, people are giving different amounts for if one person attends vs. two. Why is that? I thought the old adage of covering your plate is no more/rude. If so then what is the reason for the difference in gift amounts.
    For me, it'd be partly that if FI wasn't attending (I can't imagine that being the case but say it is) we'd be less close with the couple so as big of a gift wouldn't be as necessary. AND I do factor in that the hosts are entertaining two people vs one. I''m not going to calculate how much my meal cost or anything like that, but I just think if we're taking up two spots we should give a nice gift. Now, if FI were close with the couple and couldn't come for whatever reason and I went solo? I would still probably give $200 from us.
    STARMOON44
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hmm. I don't think giving cash is 'crass' (that's an awfully strong word), but I was raised that it's an extremely personal gift and that a physical gift is the only appropriate gift for a wedding, unless you are very, very close to the bride or groom (like, immediate family or an extremely close lifetime friendship). Cash is just simply overly personal for a friend, extended family member, or coworker, at least how I was raised. I would pick something off their registry within my budget.
  • In my area ny/nj cash is the norm. I have never given a physical gift for a wedding.
    I would say the difference in amount given for a single person vs a couple has little to do with covering your plate. If you were two single people and not a couple wouldn't there be two gifts? Therefore when the couple is giving the gift it should count as though two people were giving it? That is what accounts for the difference in amounts given IMO.
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  • I think I would fall over if I got $300 from a guest! We are in a very small village in BC, Canada but getting married in England and £50 (about $80) per couple is the average there. I would say $50-$100 per couple is the average in our village here. Although receiving anything is nice!
  • I dont think its convering your plate. I think that its more of if you and SO went as single people you would both give gifts. Therefore as a couple it is just a joining of two peoples gifts in one envelope. That is why it should be more forba couple than for a single person.


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