Fourth of July wedding--cause for celebration or impinging on people's plans?

Jmulson · August 2013

Well, we just got engaged and are now in the midst of planning the wedding. We originally wanted a destination wedding in Turks and Caicos; however, many of our close friends that we would absolutely want to be there felt it would be impossible because of a) cost of getting there, b) trouble traveling with very small children, or c) both. Thus, we decided to do a wedding stateside to make it more reasonable for everyone involved. Unfortunately, the venue we would like to use has no summer weekends available with the exception of July 4th. I thought this would be a great way to celebrate our union and the holiday, but one of our bachelor friends (who was game for a beach vacation) told my fiancé that it was extremely rude and presumptuous to plan a wedding on a holiday. I thought this was ridiculous as I have been in two weddings on New Years, two on Memorial Day, and one on Labor Day. I didn't feel inconvenienced at all by these weddings and was happy to have a wonderful way to celebrate those days when we would just be drinking and bbqing anyways. The fiancé is now seriously reconsidering this date. I wanted to see what other bride to be's thought about the July 4th wedding. Is it really rude? Should we just wait until 2015 when a non-holiday weekend is available? Thanks for your insights!

Simply Fated · August 2013

I think it depends on the individual, personally. Hotel rates tend to go up duribg holiday weekends. Some people have standing plans on certain holidays that take priority.
Personally, it depends on who was getting married and where. I won't travel much on July 4th because of all the drunkies in my area. True stuff.

jcrmc · August 2013

It is your wedding, right? Do it when YOU want to do it.

We chose our date for the following reasons:

1. we BOTH have ALWAYS wanted outdoor weddings
1b. where we live (Vancouver, BC area) the months for outdoor weddings are June/July/August
2. June is usually kinda rainy
3. July has SO many birthdays/anniversaries on BOTH sides of our families
4. August has NOTHING in it for us
5. the weekend we chose (this one coming up!!!) is the weekend my father passed away when I was a kid, so we chose to turn it into a happy occasion

Yeah, it is on a Sunday which is kinda poopy for ppl who have to work in the morning, but we are having a dry wedding anyway, so no hangover.

Do it for YOU, that is who you are getting married for, right? If you REEEEEEEEEEEEALLY want it to be next year, and you REEEEEEEEALLY want that venue, then do it on the 4th!

Bubbles2014 · August 2013

It depends on your crowd.

I'm getting married on Easter Sunday because it was the one weekend all year that suited myself, my FI, and my MOH who is flying halfway around the world, and we figured we may as well save money and have it on the Sunday since it's Easter weekend and everyone has the Monday off here. 20 people would have to travel for the weekend, and since it's a 4 day weekend here no one has to use their vacation days to come. One couple has said they may not be able to come, out of 50 adults. Everyone else has said they're super excited and wouldn't miss it.

So, see what your VIPs say. If they can't make it you may want to change the date. You could get more declines since it is more expensive to travel around the holidays.

lovesclimbing · August 2013

My cousin got married on the 4th last year. It wasn't an inconvenience for me (except, I had to get the day off work but I would have had to anyway unless it was a Thursday or Friday) and I haven't heard any complaints about it being an inconvenience.

I would check around with the VIPs, as PPs have suggested, and if they don't have a problem, go for it.

Xstatic3333 · August 2013

I wouldn't think it was rude, exactly, but I'd be a little annoyed. Ditto PP about checking with your VIPs. I'd prefer a Friday or Sunday wedding to one on a long weekend, but some would feel the opposite. In any case, delaying a whole year seems extreme. Are there any off days, or dates in May or September you could consider?

schellzinator · August 2013

Like what other posters have said - check with your VIPs - if they can make it and don't seem inconvenienced by it then consider it. I personally don't like when weddings are on holidays - but I also have standing plans on most holidays.

misssunshine17 · August 2013

I'm with Xstatic. I would be irritated by it since I have plans on the 4th and hotels/travel skyrocket. I think you'll have a higher decline rate, which would suck since you already changed your first plan.

mlg78 · August 2013

I wouldn't be happy about it and you'd have to be pretty darn special to me to get me to attend on a holiday weekend when it'll end up costing me a lot more than most other times in the year.

krizzo17 · August 2013

I think this is a "know your crowd" issue. We had a holiday weekend wedding (Memorial Day), but only 3 families were out-of-town enough to rent a hotel room, and since we aren't really a "destination" area, hotel rates were the same as they are all year. It's pretty common both with my family and circle of friends to get married on a holiday weekend, but I know other people strongly disagree. I'd say if one friend has expressed such a vocal opinion, you at least should seriously think about the people you know and what types of things they tend to do around the fourth.

southernbelle0915 · August 2013

I'm always annoyed by holiday weddings so I agree with PPs that this is a "know your crowd" situation. I think either way, you'll end up with a high decline rate.

Personally, I would move it to 2015. Long engagements provide ample time to save money and plan the wedding you want.

STARMOON44 · August 2013

I'd pick a different venue.

Abbyjensen · August 2013

I would be annoyed because my family has 4th of July traditions we do every year, but I would get over it.

Jen4948 · August 2013

It wouldn't bother me too much (although I love July 4 celebrations) but that's me. As PPs have suggested, I'd check with your VIPs. If July 4 doesn't work for a significant number of them, I think you need to find a different venue.

kmmssg · August 2013

It would annoy me and I wouldn't attend. I have standing plans every year - a camping trip with my 2 daughters and their children. I am NOT cancelling that for a wedding. I'll decline and send a nice gift.

I don't really travel much on Memorial Day or Labor day so I wouldn't care about those but for us, the 4th of July ain't gonna happen. I also have a sister with standing vacay plans with her husband's family, and DH has 2 brothers who always vacay that week. They also wouldn't change their plans for a wedding.

That is why it is crucial to check with your VIP's and ask them for blunt honesty. Don't ask them, "you don't think a 4th of July wedding is a problem, do you?" because that backs them into a corner. Ask them, "OK, brutal truth, do you think we would have any major challenges if we chose 4th of July for our wedding?"

My DD just chose her wedding day last week and will be married in June. I know the first thing I said was "Don't pick the week of the 4th because Aunt J, Uncle C, and Uncle S won't come." She instantly responded that she wouldn't do that because she thinks it is rude to choose holiday weekends and tie them up.

If you check with your VIP's, ask for brutal honesty, and they say they can be there then it is a great decision. If you get push back, you need to rethink your date if you want them there. It truly is a know your VIP list.

It is far more than just is that the time YOU want to be married. If it is important to have those VIPs there you need to make sure you choose a time they will attend.

MandyMost · August 2013

I'd be annoyed. Having a 4th of July wedding is taking a day for EVERYONE to relax and celebrate, and making it all about you. I don't want to spend MY holiday doing someone else's stuff...I'd rather do my own thing. I love weddings and love celebrating my friends and family's life choices, but that doesn't mean I want to give up my own once-a-year fun times for them.

More minor holidays--like Memorial Day or Labor Day--are slightly less annoying, because it's less likely that I"d be really looking forward to a celebration. However, I do feel like my 3-day weekend is getting hijacked. If it's local, it means you can't travel that weekend...if it's out of town it's a little better for me, since at least I don't feel like I"m "wasting" a 30-day weekend for one evening wedding.

KatWAG · August 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

I'm always annoyed by holiday weddings so I agree with PPs that this is a "know your crowd" situation. I think either way, you'll end up with a high decline rate. Personally, I would move it to 2015. Long engagements provide ample time to save money and plan the wedding you want.

I agree with this. 4th of July is my favorite holiday. We would have to be really close for me to change my annual plans.

JaneAustensGhost · August 2013

I wouldn't mind because I don't care about the 4th of July. But you have to know your crowd. Maybe your group LOVES that holiday. If they have young children, it might be particularly onerous since many small children love to see fireworks.

You aren't going to please everybody so choose what is right for you. I'm getting married on a Wednesday because October 16 sounded good to my FI. I could have pushed for a weekend but didn't bother because anyone who is coming wouldn't mind a weekday wedding. This is one of those occasions when "it's your day" applies.

grumbledore · August 2013

Jmulson said:

Well, we just got engaged and are now in the midst of planning the wedding. We originally wanted a destination wedding in Turks and Caicos; however, many of our close friends that we would absolutely want to be there felt it would be impossible because of a) cost of getting there, b) trouble traveling with very small children, or c) both. Thus, we decided to do a wedding stateside to make it more reasonable for everyone involved. Unfortunately, the venue we would like to use has no summer weekends available with the exception of July 4th. I thought this would be a great way to celebrate our union and the holiday, but one of our bachelor friends (who was game for a beach vacation) told my fiancé that it was extremely rude and presumptuous to plan a wedding on a holiday. I thought this was ridiculous as I have been in two weddings on New Years, two on Memorial Day, and one on Labor Day. I didn't feel inconvenienced at all by these weddings and was happy to have a wonderful way to celebrate those days when we would just be drinking and bbqing anyways. The fiancé is now seriously reconsidering this date. I wanted to see what other bride to be's thought about the July 4th wedding. Is it really rude? Should we just wait until 2015 when a non-holiday weekend is available? Thanks for your insights!

Personally I hate weddings on 4th of July weekend. NYE, Memorial Day, Labor Day, I couldn't care, but we have standing 4th of July plans every year. It may not necessarily be rude, but I wouldn't do it.

itzMS · August 2013

If you don't mind a high decline rate, then go for it.

Most people either have standing plans for the holidays, or like to spend them with their own families.

Like others have said, everything is more expensive in regards to travel during the holidays.

Jmulson · August 2013

Thanks, ladies! I'm going to have to give this some good thought. Unfortunately, May and September are tough as I am a teacher and they are two of the busiest months of the year. While Albany, NY is not technically a destination wedding, it is for us and many of the guests. I guess. Will just have to survey more people before we make a decision. Most of the guest list for friends are the close people we do the fourth with every year anyways (both for our friends and the parents' friends), so we will have to see.

StephJean83 · August 2013

It really depends on your VIPs. One of FH's good friends, was married on the 4th this year. We knew for almost a year when their wedding would be and we don't have standing plans, so for us it was a no brainer to go. If we had standing plans, we would have had to make some major decisions.

For my FH and I, we wanted an off season wedding. Our families are big time hunters, so we had to plan around hunting season. We picked my grandparent's anniversary because it fell before hunting season starts but the draw back is it is 2 weeks prior to Thanksgiving. We might end up with a few more declines because of that.

msdds51 · August 2013

I don't really think that July 4th is a holiday where people really have set plans. If your guests are concerned about traveling for a destination wedding, I'm assuming they won't be going away for the holiday weekend. So I say go for it. Make it themed to the holiday so they're not missing out on the July 4th parties they might have gone to.

bethsmiles · August 2013

kss20 said:

I don't really think that July 4th is a holiday where people really have set plans. If your guests are concerned about traveling for a destination wedding, I'm assuming they won't be going away for the holiday weekend. So I say go for it. Make it themed to the holiday so they're not missing out on the July 4th parties they might have gone to.

It really depends on your circle. Almost everyone I know has set plans for the 4th, it's a really big deal in my hometown. And it would be almost impossible for people to get a hotel in my hometown on the fourth because they book ridiculously fast and they way up the prices.

Personally, unless it was family or my best friend getting married I would skip a fourth of July wedding. Its one of my favorite holidays and I wouldn't want to miss it.

libby2483 · August 2013

kss20 said:

I don't really think that July 4th is a holiday where people really have set plans. If your guests are concerned about traveling for a destination wedding, I'm assuming they won't be going away for the holiday weekend. So I say go for it. Make it themed to the holiday so they're not missing out on the July 4th parties they might have gone to.

This isn't true in my circle at all, since many people in my circle do have long-standing plans, myself included. I would have to be pretty close to someone to break my fourth of July plans to attend their wedding.

itzMS · August 2013

libby2483 said:

kss20 said:

I don't really think that July 4th is a holiday where people really have set plans. If your guests are concerned about traveling for a destination wedding, I'm assuming they won't be going away for the holiday weekend. So I say go for it. Make it themed to the holiday so they're not missing out on the July 4th parties they might have gone to.
This isn't true in my circle at all, since many people in my circle do have long-standing plans, myself included. I would have to be pretty close to someone to break my fourth of July plans to attend their wedding.

Agreed. Plus, it is such a holiday for children and families. Fourth of July parades, festivals, fireworks. Most parents won't want to have their kids miss out on the fun.

grumbledore · August 2013

I definitely have to disagree with the pp who said the 4th isn't a "standing plans" holiday - almost everyone I know has standing 4th plans with their families.

The holidays I would avoid are Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. If you don't mind a lot of declines or feel your crowd wouldn't mind a holiday wedding, by all means go for it.

ksblumb · August 2013

We always go boating with friends one day and have a big family BBQ the other day on the weekend of the 4th. I would have to be really, really close with you to willingly miss either of those things.

tammym1001 · August 2013

The other thing I would consider is that July 4 is on a Friday and if people have to travel they would have to take Thursday off work. I used to work in an office where if you hadn't been there for 20 years there was no way you were getting off work the day before or after any holiday so that may prevent people from being able to come also.

I personally wouldn't schedule my wedding on any holiday weekend, but if someone close to me got married on July 4 I would go.

NYCMercedes · August 2013

I'd have no problem whatsoever.

cruffino · August 2013

i find holiday weddings really inconsiderate. you never know what plans or traditions your guests may have. if you have a special reason for choosing a holiday, then go for it but expect that some people won't come or will be annoyed.

i'm marrying a teacher and have a few close teachers in my life. a couple of them chose to marry in the summer. but a couple of them also chose to marry during the school year and take the honeymoon later, in the summer.

personally, we're getting married in february to coincide with NYC schools february break week so we'll honeymoon then. i know the teaching schedule can limit your options, but think outside of summer, and it'll open up alot more options for you.

Fourth of July wedding--cause for celebration or impinging on people's plans?

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