Fourth of July wedding--cause for celebration or impinging on people's plans?

PrettyGirlLost · August 2013

Jmulson said:

Well, we just got engaged and are now in the midst of planning the wedding. We originally wanted a destination wedding in Turks and Caicos; however, many of our close friends that we would absolutely want to be there felt it would be impossible because of a) cost of getting there, b) trouble traveling with very small children, or c) both. Thus, we decided to do a wedding stateside to make it more reasonable for everyone involved. Unfortunately, the venue we would like to use has no summer weekends available with the exception of July 4th. I thought this would be a great way to celebrate our union and the holiday, but one of our bachelor friends (who was game for a beach vacation) told my fiancé that it was extremely rude and presumptuous to plan a wedding on a holiday. I thought this was ridiculous as I have been in two weddings on New Years, two on Memorial Day, and one on Labor Day. I didn't feel inconvenienced at all by these weddings and was happy to have a wonderful way to celebrate those days when we would just be drinking and bbqing anyways. The fiancé is now seriously reconsidering this date. I wanted to see what other bride to be's thought about the July 4th wedding. Is it really rude? Should we just wait until 2015 when a non-holiday weekend is available? Thanks for your insights!

I agree with your friend, a holiday weekend is a poor choice for your wedding because you will likely get a higher than usual number of declines.

I'd start looking for available dates at this venue in 2015, or look for another venue with open dates in 2014.

Simply Fated · August 2013

grumbledore said:
I definitely have to disagree with the pp who said the 4th isn't a "standing plans" holiday - almost everyone I know has standing 4th plans with their families.

The holidays I would avoid are Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. If you don't mind a lot of declines or feel your crowd wouldn't mind a holiday wedding, by all means go for it.

Can I please add Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah to your list? Those are our High Holidays and are often forgotten about. I've had to turn down a few invites. And I've had to attend at least one thing I couldn't turn down, which was very upsetting to me.

I know not as many people celebrate these holidays, but it's definitely "know your guests" thing. I'd have no problem with an event in Easter, for instance.

arrippa · August 2013

The most important thing is to ask your VIP's. The answers here are mixed so mostly likely, your guest list will be mixed too. I briefly thought about getting married on the 4th of July because I love fireworks but then I realized getting married in Boston during the 4th of July means no hotel or more expensive hotel rooms for my OOT and the thought of taking pictures in the streets of Boston while surrounded by hordes of tourists kinda shot that down.

Personally, I would go to a 4th of July wedding but I would NOT attend a Labor Day one (we have standing plans on Labor Day)

Weesh · August 2013

Jmulson said:

Thanks, ladies! I'm going to have to give this some good thought. Unfortunately, May and September are tough as I am a teacher and they are two of the busiest months of the year. While Albany, NY is not technically a destination wedding, it is for us and many of the guests. I guess. Will just have to survey more people before we make a decision. Most of the guest list for friends are the close people we do the fourth with every year anyways (both for our friends and the parents' friends), so we will have to see.

It's interesting to see all of the feedback here--I'm planning a July 4th wedding. Checked with my VIP's and out of town guests and they are all thrilled. It gives them a good weekend (or week for some family members) to vacation. We are about to send Save the Dates,, but almost everyone knows the date already. Around here, most of our friends usually have last minute plans. There's only one family that we know of who has plans every year.

We chose that date because it means something to us--it's the anniversary of the day we met and my fiance is in the military. I'm also a teacher, so I'll be off during that time and he will be too. It also ended up being cheaper (despite the holiday) because it's a Friday next year. Do what works for you and your family or your circle. My family and close friends will be there, and I completely understand if people have plans or choose not to come. That's entirely their choice, and if they go away or have plans every year, I wouldn't want to be the reason to change that unless they wanted to. My feelings won't be hurt or offended to get a declined invitation. It's a wedding invitation, not a subpoena. Good luck with making your decision!

grumbledore · August 2013

Simply Fated said:

I definitely have to disagree with the pp who said the 4th isn't a "standing plans" holiday - almost everyone I know has standing 4th plans with their families.

The holidays I would avoid are Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. If you don't mind a lot of declines or feel your crowd wouldn't mind a holiday wedding, by all means go for it.
Can I please add Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah to your list? Those are our High Holidays and are often forgotten about. I've had to turn down a few invites. And I've had to attend at least one thing I couldn't turn down, which was very upsetting to me. I know not as many people celebrate these holidays, but it's definitely "know your guests" thing. I'd have no problem with an event in Easter, for instance.

Definitely have to consider your crowd when it comes to holidays, you're right. It depends on who your nearest and dearest are - in my case, the holidays I listed would be my no-go dates for a wedding.

OjitosVerdes · August 2013

I don't know about it being "extremely rude", but as everyone else has said, it would be a good idea to survey your crowd to get an idea of how it would be received. I teach at a university and know how busy the school year can be so I empathize. We're getting married in November and postponing the honeymoon until next summer.

Add me to the "would be annoyed" camp as long weekends and holidays are sacred to FI and me.

Anastasia517 · August 2013

I definitely think it depends on the holiday. I'm getting married during Victoria Day weekend, but the extent of plans people tend to have for that is drinking (because it's also known as "May two-four due to when it falls & beer is sold in 24s, aka two-fours) and maybe camping. Seeing as we are having an open bar and lots of food, that complies with at least half of what the weekend usually consists of.

I also think that holiday weddings raise the stakes a bit. I think if you're asking people to possibly travel and/or break plans on a holiday weekend, you need to make sure you host people with more than just the basics. For instance, a dry wedding wouldn't really fly on New Year's Eve.

Jmulson · August 2013

Thank you, ladies. After reading your post, cruffino, i started looking at school breaks as a possibility; however, we don't get a winter break in California and one of my best friend/bridesmaids is having her wedding shower at the beginning of my spring break (so don't want to steal her thunder). Also, we are getting married on the east coast so my mom can do my flowers (her dream since i was born and another reason why we opted to not do the destination wedding and deprive her of that/forever have hurt feelings), which makes it impossible to do a weekend wedding at anytime during the school year. My principal does not look kindly on taking off a day from work to get married- he even made a verbal announce,met about it at a faculty meeting....lol. After running a poll of people, everyone was super excited for it. A few friends said it might be difficult, but they live in a tourist town where any date during the summer would be problematic. I think we are going to book the date.

MuppetOverlord · August 2013

I would most likely not attend a July 4th wedding if I had to drive more than 30 minutes to. Hotels are crazy expensive and traffic is ridiculous. I also typically enjoy 4th as the holiday that it is.

Viczaesar · August 2013

Jmulson said:

Thank you, ladies. After reading your post, cruffino, i started looking at school breaks as a possibility; however, we don't get a winter break in California and one of my best friend/bridesmaids is having her wedding shower at the beginning of my spring break (so don't want to steal her thunder). Also, we are getting married on the east coast so my mom can do my flowers (her dream since i was born and another reason why we opted to not do the destination wedding and deprive her of that/forever have hurt feelings), which makes it impossible to do a weekend wedding at anytime during the school year. My principal does not look kindly on taking off a day from work to get married- he even made a verbal announce,met about it at a faculty meeting....lol. After running a poll of people, everyone was super excited for it. A few friends said it might be difficult, but they live in a tourist town where any date during the summer would be problematic. I think we are going to book the date.

Where are you that you don't get a winter break? Every school I've ever attended in California has had a winter break. That's definitely not a California-wide thing.

Fourth of July wedding--cause for celebration or impinging on people's plans?

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