Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

We've decided to get married in Scotland :)

After spending hours sifting through hundreds of wedding venues, stressing about price, accessibility and atmosphere, and also having realised how bloody strict marriage regulations are in the UK regarding the ceremony location, me and Jason are opting to "semi-elope" to Scotland and get married outdoors in the countryside. On average we’ll save ourselves a good £15,00/$30,000, and I couldn’t possibly imagine anything more beautiful and romantic than getting married beneath a mountain, next to a lake or in a forest with just each other, a few family members and close friends.

I hate the idea of being made to spend a fortune just to marry your loved one. I don’t want to fall victim to the all too commonly superficial charade of weddings, where the focal point is the big fancy venue, the catering service, photoshoots, etc. I just want to concentrate on the beauty of officially turning ourselves into a perfect duo, merging two families into one, and celebrating our love. I don’t want it to be shaded and spoilt by worrying about things like centrepieces and flower arrangements and the first dance and hen parties or stag do’s. I don’t want a shadow of materialism cast over the miracle of our love. I want it to be clear, pure and entirely driven by our love for one another and our families and friends. 

At the moment we're looking to hold the ceremony in Culter Fell, in the evening, looking across over the mountains. Here's a pictureThere's a full moon due on our wedding day :)

However, with my grandmother having arthritis in her knees and Jason’s mother needing a wheelchair, having our wedding entirely outdoors is not entirely convenient. To make things a bit easier for everyone, and also to sit down to have a meal, drinks and also to accommodate us for the night, we’ll hopefully be having the reception in Cormiston Farm, in their beautiful converted barn. I know it's a big trend at the moment, but with the farm being situated in the middle of the countryside, a few minutes away from where the ceremony will be taking place, it just seemed sensible. 

One thing I'm worried about, however, is the issue of whether or not our family and friends are willing to travel to Scotland for our wedding. There won't be many guests - 40 at most - but Jason's entire family (excluding his mother, father and sister) live in Ireland. I feel a bit rude asking everyone to come to Scotland, and having to pay for travel costs and also accommodation for the night. Me and Jason have decided that we'll be paying for our immediate families to stay in a B&B for the night, and for their travel expenses (although they'll more than likely try to refuse the offer). We wish we could pay for everyone to stay, but it's way out of our budget! Is it rude to state on the invitations that we don't want any presents, as we know they'll all be paying a fair amount to attend the wedding? If not, how do you go about wording that?

Re: We've decided to get married in Scotland :)

  • Do not mention gifts on the invitations.  The fact that you're having a destination wedding necessarily means you'll have people who can't make it.   Just send normal invitations and throw an amazing party.  
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  • I agree, do not say anything about gifts. It will be each family members decision if they will make the trip, and on them to decide if they would also like to give a gift. Give as much notice as possible for travel arrangements to be made. Destination weddings do not tend to have large turnouts, so don't be disappointed. I went to one in Jamaica and the only way those that attended-including myself-were able to is because the trip and accommodations were paid for. (very small wedding, I was a bridesmaid.)
  • I agree with PPs, don't mention gifts on an invite.

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