Ending a Friendship with a Bridesmaid

PrettyGirlLost · August 2013

jcrmc said:

The only posts I hate reading on TK boards are the ones that have nothing to do with the OP, or the topic in general, but rather just people fighting with each other. Wanna fight? Take it to another place - lets keep on topic here.

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Jennifer-Lawrence-ok-thumbs-up.gif

[Deleted User] · August 2013

Good luck, this isn't going to be an easy conversation with her. After having the talk, I think the only thing you can do is cut all communication with her, block her number if you can. She sounds like a negative energy that you don't need in your life. Hopefully all of this will help her realize, it's not everyone else, it's her.

AllieBear725 · August 2013

Jen4948 said:

scribe95 said:

So she clearly was a bridesmaid.

And we generally on this forum tell people not to "fire" bridesmaids. She apparently hasn't done anything wrong except being unpleasant. And the OP admits she was this way before. We also tell people repeatedly not to expect a person to be magically different when they are suddenly a bridesmaid.

So, no, I would not kick her out. But if the OP wants to end the friendship then this move will clearly do that. No ifs, ands or buts.

And also to Jen. I am well aware of the recent bans and I take your comment, frankly, to be a threat. I said the move was douchey to fire her. That is not against TOS

Look, I'm not a moderator and don't have the power to ban you. But I do think, given what the moderators have decided to do, that your hostile attitude that you've been conveying in your posts could be something that they might decide on their own is undesirable and can get you banned. So whether or not it's against the old, the new, or any TOS, I think it would be in everyone's best interests for you to cut out the snark. "Douchey" seems to be a word that isn't going over well with the mods of late.

Bless your heart.

AddieCake · August 2013

Nothing Scribe did/said was in any way bannable, against TOS, or worthy of any warning whatsoever. I find it comical that posters are now taking it upon themselves to issue "warnings" to other posters as if they have their finger on the pulse of what's happened here.

NYCMercedes · August 2013

Uh oh. Someone is having another bad day.

WinstonsGirl · August 2013

@AddieL73, It's like election time for new Mod's

southernbelle0915 · August 2013

OP - it sounds like you are in a negative friendship where you feel the only fix is to end it completely. It also sounds like you have been having problems with this friend for the last 5 years and nothing has improved. That's really frustrating.

It also sounds like she is a bridesmaid. If you did not correct her when she assumed, you were going to ask her to be one anyway, and you confirmed with her that she was one - then you allowed her into your bridal party. Kicking someone out of your bridal party is a friendship ending move. Sounds like you already know that, though.

The lesson here for other brides who may be lurking is that people won't change just because you make them part of your bridal party.

AddieCake · August 2013

@WinstonsGirl

Ooooh, maybe people are auditioning!!!

WinstonsGirl · August 2013

It's campaign time. To all KnotGods - I will give you all rainbow unicorns if you make me a new MOD!!

MairePoppy · August 2013

Jen4948 said:

scribe95 said:

So she clearly was a bridesmaid.

And we generally on this forum tell people not to "fire" bridesmaids. She apparently hasn't done anything wrong except being unpleasant. And the OP admits she was this way before. We also tell people repeatedly not to expect a person to be magically different when they are suddenly a bridesmaid.

So, no, I would not kick her out. But if the OP wants to end the friendship then this move will clearly do that. No ifs, ands or buts.

And also to Jen. I am well aware of the recent bans and I take your comment, frankly, to be a threat. I said the move was douchey to fire her. That is not against TOS

Look, I'm not a moderator and don't have the power to ban you. But I do think, given what the moderators have decided to do, that your hostile attitude that you've been conveying in your posts could be something that they might decide on their own is undesirable and can get you banned. So whether or not it's against the old, the new, or any TOS, I think it would be in everyone's best interests for you to cut out the snark. "Douchey" seems to be a word that isn't going over well with the mods of late.

There was another long time regular who frequently threatened to ban people, if only she could. She was banned. Remarks like that contribute to a hostile environment. The word 'douchey' is frequently used on the boards and I've never seen @KnotPorscha reprimand anyone for using it the way Scribe did. She didn't call OP a douchebag.

I hope @KotPorscha will comment because it seems like everyone is confused about the TOS, right now.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

Hey Everyone - We handled this with members offline this morning. Scribe's comments did not violate our TOS.

MairePoppy · August 2013

Thank you @KnotPorscha. I didn't think so, but I don't want to speak for you.

AshleyP42 · August 2013

JellyBean52513 Wow, I'm sorry you had to deal with that! The last time I called this girl out, I totally expected her to blow up, and really, that would just make the decision that much easier. Instead, she started crying, apologizing, making excuses (playing the victim), and make empty promises...it's so hard for me to turn someone away when they're like that...but there are only so many chances I can give and I can't risk her ruining the wedding- that's what will happen if she refuses to at least be civil to the other bridesmaids and she's already flat-out told me she's not willing to do that.

Anyway, I feel much more confident that I'm doing what I need to do, so thanks to everyone for the advice and input.

MairePoppy · August 2013

@AshleyP42 IMO, you're right to end the friendship. Don't give her another chance to cause drama. Since you're locked in on the hotel reservations, do your best to make it through the weekend, with as little contact as possible. Tell her at the end of the trip, that you're joining the other team and the friendship has run it's course. That should take care of the bm issue, too. Good luck.

NYCBruin · August 2013

KnotPorscha said:
Hey Everyone - We handled this with members offline this morning. Scribe's comments did not violate our TOS.

@KnotPorscha do vague threats that attempt to change the way a user posts violate the TOS?

Ending a Friendship with a Bridesmaid

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