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JOP before Basic?

JaymeeLHJaymeeLH member
5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
edited January 2014 in Military Brides
FI is currently in the beginning of the process for Coast Guard recruitment. We want to get married before he leaves, but we don't know how long the process is going to take. We've talked about just doing a very small ceremony with just our immediate families present before he goes to basic, and then after we have time to settle down doing a vow renewal/larger reception with our extended family and close friends. We were already planning on getting married before he decided to look into the CG, this has just sped things along a little bit. I don't know if I'm completely thrilled about doing it this way because I've been dreaming of my wedding for a long time, but at the end of the day all that matters to me is that I'm married to the man I love, and that I can be there to be his support every step of the way.

**Edit**
Just wanted to thank everyone for your input, we as a couple had a change of heart as he received a job opportunity that would keep up close to our families and allow me to finish school.
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Re: JOP before Basic?

  • manjermjmanjermj member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Honestly, I would just wait. What would change if you get married before he leaves for basic? You will be married and still living separately. So why not live separately, plan your wedding and have it exactly how you want it when the timing works out better? From the sounds of it, this is more of what you want.

    But if you do want to get married ASAP, have a small family only ceremony and go out to a nice dinner then for your year/5 year anniversary have a vow renewal and party with all of your friends and family. Just a warning though, most people (3 friends I personally know) that I know that had this idea in mind never had that vow renewal/big party. More important things came up in their lives like kids, bills, etc and they didn't want to spend the money. 
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  • AllieBear725AllieBear725 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2013
    FI is joining the navy, we planned our wedding in 3 months. Once he enlisted he opted for delayed entry, so we will marry before he leaves for basic. I suggest he talks to his recruiter so you can have the wedding you really want to have. 

    ETA: Spelling.
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  • firefightermegfirefightermeg member
    First Comment
    If she waits she won't be on his benefits. A lot of guys get married before they leave for basic so their wife will have his pay and benefits plus quick access to housing when he gets out of tech school.

    Fiance to a crusty old Air Force Sergeant :)
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  • mbrooke2008mbrooke2008 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    My two cents: My fiance and I have been together since high school, and went to college together, graduated and then 6 months later finally got engaged. After being together so long and not experiencing distance, we were both anxious to get married so naturally we considered a JOP wedding. However I knew I wouldn't be happy with that. Call me whatever you want, but I knew that I have wanted a wedding since I was a little girl and I had always dreamed about my whole family and all my close friends being there to hear us exchange our vows. I wanted it to be before God in a church. I know some girls will say "It shouldn't matter where you are married", but just think about what you want and what is important to you. At the end of the day, you are engaged and in love, waiting for the wedding you want won't impact that. I am finally getting married to my guy in 15 days and now that we are this close, I am so thankful I have waited patiently because I know this wedding will be worth it. And I have not seen him in 75 days at this point, so I know it will be a really special time!! :) At the end of the day, do what makes sense for you guys.... but don't settle on something you don't really want because you may regret it.
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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    firefightermeg said:

    If she waits she won't be on his benefits. A lot of guys get married before they leave for basic so their wife will have his pay and benefits plus quick access to housing when he gets out of tech school.

    Fiance to a crusty old Air Force Sergeant :)

    Blech.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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  • kindrawesterfieldkindrawesterfield member
    First Comment
    Hey Girl! 

    I know you posted this a little bit ago, but I wanted to give you my two cents. My best friend and I had been dating for two years when we finally got engaged. We had been planning on getting married since day one of our dating relationship (we said that if we weren't in it to get married, then we shouldn't be in it at all). So anyways, he decided to join the Air Force. Just 90 days after we got engaged, we got married at a small civil ceremony (courthouse/JOP/whatever you want to call it) with several friends and family members in attendance. 

    We opted to go to the courthouse before he leaves for BMT because after his basic training, he has advanced training (Tech School) for more than a year. He did not want to go another year without me and the only way I can go with him is if we are married. So we are dealing with being married and apart for the time being in return for being together in a few months.

    You have to do what will make you happy. If a JOP wedding will leave you with regrets, then wait and have your dream wedding. If you have any questions about how my wedding went down, PM me! It was a wonderful day... and at the end of the day whether you have a big or little ceremony, you're still married to your best friend! :D

    Best of luck, and congratulations on your engagement! 
    -Kindra  
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  • alm199alm199 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    My fiancé and I were together for over 2 years when he found out he was going to be deployed. We considered having a JOP wedding before he left but we both wanted to have a big wedding that would take time to plan. We decided that it wasn't worth giving up our dream wedding for some extra money. Now that he's home and we are finally planning our wedding I'm sure it was the right decision.
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