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October 2013 Weddings

I know this has been a discussion before, but we have a lot of new people...

Changing your name or not? Just wondering based off a thread on a different board.

If you are not, why?

Are you hyphenating it?

If not, are you going to say something to people so they know?

What happens if you don't and people still send things to you after the wedding with your H's name?

Some people make their current last name a middle name, will you do that?

 

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Re: I know this has been a discussion before, but we have a lot of new people...

  • Changing your name or not? Just wondering based off a thread on a different board.

    Yes I am.   It's really important to FI that I take his name.  Are you changing your name?

    S'mores. Just S'mores please.
  • Im changing mine. I have no reason to keep it my current last night. I don't even talk to my father, so that is another reason to change my name. When our office moved to a different building, my boss ordered my business cards with my new name, yup, they're still sitting in the box in my desk drawer.

     

  • I am taking his name and doing nothing with mine. I'm going from a (kind of) complicated last name to a really easy last name, so I am kind of excited about that.

    If I didn't have brothers, I would have considered hyphenating or using my name as a middle name, but they can carry on the family name so no need. :-)

    I'm really looking forward to not having to spell my last name for everyone who comes across it!! I don't even say it first anymore, I just go straight to spelling because that's what I have to do anyway.
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  • I am taking his name and doing nothing with mine. I'm going from a (kind of) complicated last name to a really easy last name, so I am kind of excited about that.

    If I didn't have brothers, I would have considered hyphenating or using my name as a middle name, but they can carry on the family name so no need. :-)

    I'm really looking forward to not having to spell my last name for everyone who comes across it!! I don't even say it first anymore, I just go straight to spelling because that's what I have to do anyway.

    Me too! Except, I have to spell my first name too since there are a few different ways to spell it. Most people want to start it with a K.

     

  • I'm changing my name.  My mother changed her middle name to her maiden name, but I think I'm just going to drop my maiden name.  I think it's more important to me than to FI, but I know he appreciates that I want to take his name.
  • I am definitely taking FI's name. It's just something I've always thought I would do.

    Funny story...FI's cousin got married last month and I assumed the bride was changing her name as there has been no indication that she wasn't. We got their RSVP the other day and it was written as mr John Doe and mrs. Jane bean. So I mentioned to my FI that she obviously isn't changing her name. FI says "isn't it required by law"...he's so clueless.
  • I am taking his name and doing nothing with mine. I'm going from a (kind of) complicated last name to a really easy last name, so I am kind of excited about that.

    If I didn't have brothers, I would have considered hyphenating or using my name as a middle name, but they can carry on the family name so no need. :-)

    I'm really looking forward to not having to spell my last name for everyone who comes across it!! I don't even say it first anymore, I just go straight to spelling because that's what I have to do anyway.

    i have a complicated first and last name, so going from mine to my FI's will be great. i am sad though becasue its only me and my sister so no more of my name to carry on. but FI would be upset if i didnt change it or hyphenated.
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  • I have friends that just got married where they both took a completely new name. (I believe it was the brides grandparent)

    I thought that was pretty cool.
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  • I am taking FI's last name.  Never thought about keeping my last name.  My brother has a son, well two but only one has our last name, so he can carry on the legacy.  :-)
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  • It feels weird to me to have a new last name after 37 years, but I'm doing it and not keeping my name legally. I will keep it hyphenated on FB, LinkedIn etc because it makes me more identifiable to people who knew me in the past.
  • I'm changing my name. Its kinda weird tho. Currently my last name is from a previous marriage. (I kept his last name after divorce cause my children were 1 and 3 and I didn't want them confused). My FI has a very common last name, and actually it's the same as my maiden name. Haha. So I will be returning to my actual maiden name.
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    rustytammy
  • @alisonmarie658 that's funny too! When I was a little girl I always said I'd marry someone with my last name so I wouldn't have to change it. Haha!
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    [Deleted User]
  • Changing it. Was never something I thought about either. I love my name and all, but not any real ties. Plus I have a brother to carry on the name (not to mention it's a fairly common name in some areas)
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  • I am changing my name.  I considered changing my middle name to my maiden name, but then it would be Kristin C_____ K____ which is way to much K sounds!! 
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  • I am not changing my name and I am fiercely protecting my name.  Anytime someone assumes that I will take his name, I immediately correct them with "Actually, I'm keeping my own name, so I'll keep being FirstName LastName."   I've always been my name, and I don't have a reason to change it and want to keep it.  I want my students to call me my name, I want my family to call me my name.  I'm my name. 
  • I'm dropping my current middle name and using my maiden name as my middle name, then taking his last name, so I'll be First Maiden Hislast. No hyphen, but I won't use my middle name except on official documents.

    I always just assumed I would take my husband's name -- it's what women in my family have always done -- and it's really important to FI that I do.

    To his credit, though, he told me from the beginning it was my choice and he would support whatever I wanted to do. It wasn't until AFTER I told him I was changing my name that he told me how important it was to him. 

    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Such an interesting topic - only because I never gave it any thought.
    For those of you worried about keeping your family name because no one else can carry it on - will you pass your middle (maiden) name on to your children for them to carry on?  

    My maiden name ends with me (my father was the only boy and he had two girls.  My sister is already married and has taken her husbands name) and I am curious how others are handling this.
    S'mores. Just S'mores please.
  • snippet17 said:
    Not changing my name legally or professionally.  Not really saying anything to anyone, but my name won't change on linkedin, fb, or business cards to that may help get in though to people.
    I don't really know 100% what I'm doing, but I think this is probably close. I am established professionally with my current name and have been published and have had many classes as "Professor maidenname."  FI's last name is longer and my first name (9 letters) and his last name (10 letters) is quite long. I will on facebook however be First Middle Maiden FiLastName.

    So, I may not change it legally...but socially, I definitely want to be Mrs. FiLastName. I would never be upset or not welcome being "Mrs. HisFirst HisLast." Even if I don't change mine, I am still his wife and would be happy to be called that.

    I guess it's almost like having 2 identities? I want our children to have his last name.  And, I do not have any brothers.  So, I have not quite decided, but I'm leaning towards professionally keeping it, and socially being his last name. (And I'm pretty sure that the law is in NJ, you can go by whatever name you want, so this is totally doable. My bank I believe will also deposit checks made out to either name, and I think they will even do that already since the account was set up with both last names.)
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  • This actually was almost one of our breaking points because I -really- wanted to retain my current last name.  I'm my father's only child, and my 15 year old son and I share the same last name, so it just seemed easier to me to hyphenate.

    FI was vehemently against it.  *sigh*  It was one of those "My last name, or nothing" moments.

    The fact is at work, I'm keeping my current last name.  One, since I work with the public, it should make me a wee bit harder to find (plus I've got some CRAZIES I deal with).  Two, it's such a pain in the ass to change email addresses, etc. where I work, so...I'm keeping it there.

    So, THANKFULLY my current family name will be carried on by my son.

    So, yeah...I'm taking his.  At least on FB and socially I guess.  I'm not in a rush to change anything else.  :p 
  • I will be changing my last name, although I will use a hyphenated version for publications. I'm in graduate school and have already published under my name, so it would be difficult to attempt to publish under my married name if I want readers to be able to easily find my other work.
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  • I'm keeping my last name. I've never liked the idea of losing your name just because you get married. I would be okay with hyphenating if we were both going to, but not just me alone. It is just too much work.

    My dad had two sisters and I am his only child and I am not planning on having any children, so the name dies with me anyway. I used to worry my family would fight me on this, being Southerners and very traditional, but when my Grandfather met my intended, he pulled me aside and mentioned that hyphenating is a good option these days. I haven't told him about not planning on having children, so I am sure part of him will be thinking that I could eventually have a boy child and the name might go on. But, even without telling him that, I'm proud to at least carry on the name for him while I am alive.

    If we were having kids, I guess we would hyphenate...but that's always struck me as a single generation solution. If two hyphenated adults get married, do they just continue to add hyphens and last names? Just pick the name or names they want to honor and carry on? I'm glad not to have to worry about it. Or do any of the paperwork.
  • I'm not quite sure what I'm doing. I'm definitely changing it to Lewis - but I don't know if I'll be incorporating my maiden name...
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  • In reading through this thread, it's interesting to see people mentioning cultural differences.  When I tell people here that I'm getting married, they  automatically ask what my new last name will be, and I don't think anything of it. I'm in the northeast. 
  • I have a male cousin to carry on the family name, although, it's not completely uncommon (in fact I would put money on it that you have all heard it, although you may not have heard it as a last name). So, I'm not worried about that.

    I want to change my name. I've known since before I met FH that I would change my last name. Though, I feel slightly bad for my kids, if they organize classrooms alphabetically. I was always in the front of the lines, my kids will be towards the back. Sorry, kiddos. :)
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    shaylagirl
  • Im towards the end of the alphabet currently and will be moving to the middle.

     

  • We were just discussing this last week when we got our marriage license. The clerk was explaining to us that if I plan on changing my name I need to order certified copies of our license in order to change it with social security, DMV, taxes, etc. It seems like such a PITA. I think that I am going to change my name in theory, ie, with friends/family, on facebook, socially, but just not legally. Plus because I have a professional license, there is quite a process to go through to petition for my name to be changed for that, so it just seems like too much work. 

    FI doesn't care if it's not legally changed, and since I will socially be going by his last name, it doesn't bother him at. I am very proud of my current last name and I hate the idea of actually "losing" it.
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  • I will be changing my name.  I had thought about keeping it for a lot of the reasons mentioned above.  I am a only child very close to my family and I have to male cousins with the same last name they will be very unlikely to pass it on (they are unmarried in their 40's).  I think our solution is to make my maiden name a middle name of any son we have since I have a last name that is also a first name.  
  • I didn't plan on changing mine as its very unique and I'm pretty attached to it, but it means a lot to FI that I take his name so I will be doing so. I'll always be a (my last name) regardless of what my documents say :)
  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yes, I'm changing my surname, but I'm moving my maiden name to become my middle name because that is the custom with women on both sides of my family.

  • Undecided right now.  At first I was dead set on NOT changing my name but FI told me that it's important to him that I do.  So now I don't know.  
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