Kids at the reception...give me your opinions.

MrsRadke · August 2013

1. Are you having kids at the reception? 2. If not, what is your cut off age? Are you providing a sitter? 3. If yes, Are you provinding child activities? 4. What has the response been like? Are people pissed? We are undecided. Personally, I don't want toddlers and babies running around. Above 10 or 12 and I would be fine. I have about 10 cousins, he has 1, and we have 2 friends' children that would be out. It isn't a cost issue (our venue offers kids meals at a reduced price and we have room in the budget) but its more of an atmosphere thing. Our reception is at a hotel, so a sitter is feasible, and almost all parents are out of towers. If you have kids, I would GREATLY appreciate your input.

Maggie0829 · August 2013

We did have kids at the wedding. I think we had a total of 5 kids under the age of 18. The youngest was my niece and she was 18 months. No we did not provide a sitter. Most parents prefer to find their own sitter and are not comfortable leaving their children with a stranger. We did not provide child activities, the younger kids (4 of them) were perfectly content dancing all night with their parents and cousins.

Honestly I have been to kid free weddings and weddings with kids and as far as atmosphere goes I really never noticed a difference. Everyone still had a great time dancing and drinking. The parents of the kids did their job as parents and took care of their own children as they should. Unless you are planning on inviting 200 guests and 100 of them are children I do not see how a few kids can really have any impact on the overall atmosphere of your wedding.

But with all that said, if you do not want kids then that is perfectly fine. There is no rule saying that kids must be invited. So invite who you want and if people get pissed then tough on them for assuming their special little snowflake child is welcomed everywhere.

misssunshine17 · August 2013

1) I am having kids at my wedding. I, personally, don't like splitting up families. This is not etiquette standards, but my own.

2) Age cut offs don't work because it's a random number. What if the 10 year old has a two year old sister? It's so rude to only invite one sibling. Invite in circles, like only first cousins, only aunts & uncles. These are clear cutoffs that can't be argued.

Hiring a sitter is a nice idea, but many people don't want to leave their child with someone they don't know. If your guests are coming from out of town, I think its a courtesy to invite their children. If not, they may decline and you can't be upset about it.

OjitosVerdes · August 2013

1. Only our nieces and nephews, who are also in the bridal party

2. No cut off age - we only invited immediate family kids

3. N/A

4. We'll see - invites go out this week. My mom has been spreading the info via word of mouth, and people seem to be understanding.

In our case, our primary reason to exclude kids was space constraints, but even if we had unlimited space, I think I would have made the same decision - I also agree with you on the concern about the atmosphere point. That said, all my first cousins are legal adults and we invited in circles with first cousins included - if they were kids, they most likely would have been invited. Are you close to your cousins and friends' kids? And while reserving a room would be a really thoughtful thing to do, not everyone might want to leave their kids with the sitter you choose. I've also seen parents ignore the fact that a kid room existed/the kids weren't invited, and drag them into the reception anyway. I'm probably not helping, but wanted to mention all the factors that we considered! Most of our guests are out of town as well, and we just had to accept that everyone might not make it due to kids not being invited.

ETS: I agree with misssunshine that arbitrary age cutoffs don't work, as you'll probably have to split families. (Older kids are invited but youngers kids in the same family aren't.) It also has the potential for more hurt feelings than does inviting in circles.

ashleyep · August 2013

We're inviting any kids that are our first cousins. I have a 15 year old and 12 year old cousin, he has 6 cousins between 7 and 13 or so. Other than that, I'm on the fence about inviting my cousin with her two children, but we don't really have a lot of friends with kids so it's not an issue. I'm not worried about the atmosphere, all of my family events have kids around, so I'm used to it. Kids love weddings! Plus we don't have any out of town guests with kids, if people were flying in, I'd probably invite their kids.

Jen4948 · August 2013

I don't know. On the one hand, I have a lot of out-of-town (and local, for that matter) relatives who would bring their kids for family reunion purposes and because they wouldn't want to leave their kids with babysitters.

On the other hand, these kids are rambunctious and I don't think they can be counted on to behave themselves without a lot of parents telling them to sit still, don't fidget, sit up straight, be quiet, put the toys away, etc.

Sigh.

ac411020 · August 2013

Originally, I was planning on not inviting kids and having the cut off age be 18, but now we are only inviting my fiancé's nieces and nephews (6 kids ranging in age from 5 -14). We will not be having a sitter. I have been at a wedding with these children before and they have all been well behaved and able to entertain themselves. I'm assuming a couple of my friends are going to be pissed that they can't bring their kids, but I really don't care. I am not close to the kids, they live nearby, and I know for a fact can easily get a sitter because they do so quite often.

Abbyjensen · August 2013

I feel like children only effect the atmosphere and wedding experience of the parents, not of the whole reception. In your shoes, I would invite the children, but also provide a sitter in a nearby room. Though parents may choose not to use the sitter, I think it's nice to give them an option. As an out of town parent, I don't like that my only choice is to either leave my children for 3 days, or bring them for the whole wedding.

Jen4948 · August 2013

Abbyjensen said:

I feel like children only effect the atmosphere and wedding experience of the parents, not of the whole reception. In your shoes, I would invite the children, but also provide a sitter in a nearby room. Though parents may choose not to use the sitter, I think it's nice to give them an option. As an out of town parent, I don't like that my only choice is to either leave my children for 3 days, or bring them for the whole wedding.

This is what I'd like to do: I'm just worried that the parents in my family won't use the sitter and will expect the kids to be in the ceremony and the reception.

grumbledore · August 2013

We'll have kids at ours - personally I think kids are a blast at weddings. But it's not rude for you to have a kid free wedding. Just don't write it on the invitations. If you have kids coming, I might hire someone to wrangle them if I thought my crowd would appreciate it. I would probably have some crayons or something at their seats but otherwise they really should be fine.

If you have a lot of OOT guests with kids, it might be nice to have a sitter in an adjacent room who can watch a movie or something with the kids if they get restless - some parents don't like to leave their kids for a few days.

bullfrogmama · August 2013

I had my reception at a very fancy venue (google Potawatomi Casino in Milwaukee, WI). And I had about a gazillion children including my own (4.5 & 11 months). They not only kept the dance floor rocking, but they were amazing in the photo booth and filled up the scrapbook with ridiculously funny pictures.

Maybe I'm biased because I am a parent, but I couldn't imagine my wedding without my children, my nieces and nephews and my friends' kids. Some of my friends with children opted for a date night, but a lot brought their kids too. No big deal and I think it may have been a bit boring without them there.

allispain · August 2013

1. We did not have any kids at our wedding.

2. It wasn't an age thing - We decided that on my side we would invite all of my first cousins (who are all over the age of 18 except for one 17 year old - who looks older than her 21 year old sister). DH didn't invite any cousins on his side since he has only met them once or twice in his entire life. He didn't see the point in having 15 people between the ages of 2 and 20-something at the wedding that he wouldn't be able to pick out of a line-up and that I had never met either.

3. We did not provide a sitter, though that was something that I seriously considered. After realizing that some parents might not be comfortable with that idea, what we did instead was compile a list of sitters that came highly recommended to us (certified, sit or have sat for friends' children, etc.) which we gave to anyone who asked us about how to find a good sitter in our area. Only 1 set of guests needed it in the end.

4. The response was primarily non-existant. People don't really comment on this sort of thing to your face unless they're really upset about it. Though one of the GM and his wife did say how nice it was to not have to wrangle their three kids (under the age of 7) for the evening.

It only affected two of our guests' RSVPs. One of my cousins came but her husband stayed home with the kids - which was fine all around since her husband doesn't know me very well and that way she was able to come into town with her parents and brother a couple days early and go sight-seeing. One of DH's uncles decided not to come since the children were not invited - he told us point blank that the only reason he would have come in the first place was so that the kids could spend time with their grandparents. As in, he couldn't have cared less about being at the wedding (not to mention seeing his nephew and meeting me for the first time...).

I will also say that I have been to many weddings that had children present. Heck, I attended lots of family weddings when I was a kid, a teen, etc. I only ever saw one incident that made me think that having kids at a wedding could be an issue. The ringbearer at my cousin's wedding decided to play under the cake table during dinner. No one was watching him. He started pulling on the table linens and the cake was actually starting to hang off the table's edge before someone saw it and stopped him. Luckily, the cake didn't fall!

melbelleup · August 2013

1. yes, but ONLY if they are relatives and we are close to them. Example: my nephew, my cousin's kids. the end.

3. Not activities per say, but I might go rummaging and get them some little things to keep them busy.

4. Haven't experienced any yet, but it will be interesting because a lot of the people invited also have kids, but their kids are not invited. I'm sure it will be fine.

MuppetOverlord · August 2013

MrsRadke said:

1. Are you having kids at the reception? 2. If not, what is your cut off age? Are you providing a sitter? 3. If yes, Are you provinding child activities? 4. What has the response been like? Are people pissed? We are undecided. Personally, I don't want toddlers and babies running around. Above 10 or 12 and I would be fine. I have about 10 cousins, he has 1, and we have 2 friends' children that would be out. It isn't a cost issue (our venue offers kids meals at a reduced price and we have room in the budget) but its more of an atmosphere thing. Our reception is at a hotel, so a sitter is feasible, and almost all parents are out of towers. If you have kids, I would GREATLY appreciate your input.

I hate having a bunch of kids at weddings. My experience is that the parents stop paying attention because they feel like there's enough people to watch them...or they think the running around and tantrums are cute and ignore them. Weddings I've been to with kids have quickly become a circus. The last one I went to had a kid put his whole hand right into the cake and grabbed frosting.

I am only having the flower girl and ring bearer at my wedding. If anyone was breastfeeding, I would have made an exception. The response from guests has been that people got babysitters and one person asked my FMIL if her daughter can come and declined because she can't. We don't like that person, it was a courtesy invite for FMIL...so we are unaffected.

I host A LOT of parties and BBQs etc...at my home and kids come. I always have something for those kids to do. I find that the best activities allow them to be creative. I'm a Discovery Toys distributor so I have a ton of toys and I just pull them out.

Things like the Playful Patterns set are really cool because they can occupy a lot of kids at once:

Also, coloring books and things are good.

manjermj · August 2013

We only invited first cousins and the 2 flower girls (who are daughters of my first cousins).

We only had 1 person make a fuss about their daughter not being invited and after she RSVP yes for herself + the baby, they ended up not even showing up. Everyone else with children totally understood and got babysitters on their own.

APDSS22 · August 2013

We invited children simply because there were only a handful on the entire guest list. Of those, most aren't coming because their mom's are expecting and due close enough to the wedding that they're not traveling. The only ones I know for sure are coming are my cousin's kids, for whom I will have crayons and a couple coloring books even though they are amazingly well-behaved kids simply so they don't get bored.

NYCBruin · August 2013

We are have two of FI's first cousins at the wedding, who are both under 10 and that's it. We wanted a kid-free event, but it didn't seem fair to include all the cousins except those two just because of their ages. They're well-behaved and they might not even come anyways.

I am not a fan of cut-offs or circles, personally. By all means have them privately when you draw up the guest list, but I don't think you should tell anyone what your cut-off, circle, or other "rule" for including/not including children is. Just address invitations to the people who were invited and if people RSVP with extras, call them up, apologize for the confusion and reiterate that the invitation was only for the people named and you cannot accommodate additional guests. I think people run into problems when they go beyond that and start giving people explanations. Giving explanations opens the door to people trying to argue their way around the rule you gave them or hurts their feelings if they think your rule is unreasonable (why no children under ten, my child doesn't behave like other 10 year olds so I should be an exception, etc.).

Personally I'm not a fan of kids at evening receptions. I'm always scared I'm going to trip over one on the dance floor and hurt the kid. Or that my potty-mouth will let loose in front of a little one and their mother will be upset that I accidentally taught the kid a new word. I'm just more relaxed when there aren't kids around if I'm going to be drinking/dancing.

I think the idea of having a sitter or kid-designed activities is a nice thought. Definitely not necessary, though.

Our wedding is over a year away and we've gotten some people ask if they're children will be invited. I don't think they were pressing for an invitation, just trying to plan travel arrangements and start thinking about the trip (a no-kids trip will obviously have a different itinerary than a family vacation). So far we have gotten zero pushback on the issue, but then again we don't know any helicopter parents. We actually had one couple high-five when we said their kids wouldn't be invited (I think they were excited for a grown up getaway and to be able to really catch up with some of our friends they hardly see).

KDM323 · August 2013

We are not having children at our wedding.

I asked my 2 BM if they wanted their kids to come - they said no. They would have been the ONLY kids that would have been invited.

Therefore, no kids.

emmyg65 · August 2013

Yes, we're having kids at the wedding. My fiancé has several nieces and a nephew, and is an honorary uncle to most of his friends' kids. Plus, my youngest cousins are 14, 13 and 9. It's important for us to have our entire families there. And it works fine because our reception is pretty much a backyard barbecue. We don't have a babysitter or children's activities, but we do have a yard for running in and lawn games.

ceceibson · August 2013

We had kids at our wedding. But, then, we have 12 children and grandchildren between us. My children are school-aged. We invited quite a few of their friends with their parents as they are also our friends. Our wedding was outdoors, as was the reception, by the Lake where we spend our summers and with a park across the street. So there was plenty for the kids to do. I loved having them all there but we're obviously kid people.

I do have a great niece whose parents insist she be included in everything and she is one of those kids you kind of worry about as she's very wild and completely undisciplined. They brought her to a family wedding and then ignored her. She attached herself to one of the bridesmaids who didn't really know how to extricate herself from the situation and, so, found herself acting as babysitter for most of the night. Until my mother noticed what was going and spoke to the parents, God love her.

kmmssg · August 2013

I have been to weddings where the kids really behaved well and I have been to wedding where parents checked their parent card at the door and didn't watch their Hellions.

I have a 10 you nephew who can bust a pretty serious move on the dance floor. My 8 yo grandson is even better. Kids like them aren't problems as long as their parents hold them accountable all night long and actually watch them. At my sister's wedding 30 some years ago, her new stepdd was bound and determined not only to stick her finger's in the cake but to push it over.

When one of the girls is getting married we invite the kids we know and want there, although last DD was kid free all the way. We treat kids the same way we treat any other category of guest. We invite the neighbors, coworkers, and church family we want to attend. We do the same with kids. They are not an all or nothing. We are not inviting their coworker's kids we have never met just because other kids will be there. It is a given we have left people off the list that we wanted to attend because of space and budget, we aren't cutting more off to accommodate kids we've never met or don't have a relationship with (OR act like hellions).

So far DD is inviting kids out to first cousins and the kids of friends where she is close to those kids. That's it.

WinstonsGirl · August 2013

We had kids, but we did a DW and didn't expect people to come without their kids. We had 4 total, our niece, and 3 kids of friends, 2 of whom were 10+ in age. We didn't organize anything different for them cos we didn't see the point for only 4 kids. The two older sisters entertained themselves, and the 2 under 2 (our niece and the other) did their own thing. Kids that age are always happy to dane the night away by themselves.

On a trip to Vegas, we had an adult night out and my SIL left our niece with a hotel babysitter. She was a hotel employee and used to be an Au Pair in England, so she did have some qualifications. I'm pretty sure that is something you'd only find in larger resort type hotels/cities though, but you could check with your venue to see if there is something similar. Many parents may not be comfortable with this though

kwlodarski · August 2013

I am also in the process of debating about having kids at the wedding. I am 50/50 on the issue while FI is so far very much against. Many of you suggested invited children in "circles" and that is an idea I hadn't considered. I thought I read on Knot that due to etiquette you should either invite children or not, not pick and choose. If you invited in circles (as in only go as far out as first cousins in family and then no friends' children), does that seem to work? If it's not considered rude, this may be a route we'd go as a compromise. I'd rather have children at my wedding if it means my cousins' can come, but we don't want almost half our guest list just to be kids (as we know the parents' or are friends with them). Are circles' an acceptable choice then?

NYCBruin · August 2013

kwlodarski said:

I am also in the process of debating about having kids at the wedding. I am 50/50 on the issue while FI is so far very much against. Many of you suggested invited children in "circles" and that is an idea I hadn't considered. I thought I read on Knot that due to etiquette you should either invite children or not, not pick and choose. If you invited in circles (as in only go as far out as first cousins in family and then no friends' children), does that seem to work? If it's not considered rude, this may be a route we'd go as a compromise. I'd rather have children at my wedding if it means my cousins' can come, but we don't want almost half our guest list just to be kids (as we know the parents' or are friends with them). Are circles' an acceptable choice then?

Just like you can invite some of your college friends and not others, there's nothing wrong with inviting some children and not others.

There's no etiquette breach, but you might get some pushback. As long as you're ok with standing strong, I say go for it.

LDubHawksFan · August 2013

MrsRadke said:
1. Are you having kids at the reception?
2. If not, what is your cut off age? Are you providing a sitter?
3. If yes, Are you provinding child activities?
4. What has the response been like? Are people pissed?

We are undecided. Personally, I don't want toddlers and babies running around. Above 10 or 12 and I would be fine. I have about 10 cousins, he has 1, and we have 2 friends' children that would be out. It isn't a cost issue (our venue offers kids meals at a reduced price and we have room in the budget) but its more of an atmosphere thing. Our reception is at a hotel, so a sitter is feasible, and almost all parents are out of towers.

If you have kids, I would GREATLY appreciate your input.

1) we had kids at ours. Our cutoff was nieces and nephews (which our Rb and fg were) and wp's kids. Though we did have one couple write in their kids. I was pissed but decided not to fight it.
2) do not make a cutoff age. Invite in circles. Picking an arbitrary age could mean splitting up families. Can't do that. And honestly, if you are worried about toddlers acting up, children of all ages can be a terror. In fact I would say a 10 year olds tantrum could be far worse than an infant that would probably sleep most of the time. You have to trust parents to do their job.
3) I only printed off a wedding coloring book and gave them some stickers. Nothing much because dancing will totally entertain them. I'm pretty sure the kids meals came our early so these things just gave them something to do while the adult meals came out/parents ate.
4) everyone that didn't have kids were fine with it....with the exception of the write-in friends.

Jen4948 · August 2013

lwoehlk said:

1. Are you having kids at the reception? 2. If not, what is your cut off age? Are you providing a sitter? 3. If yes, Are you provinding child activities? 4. What has the response been like? Are people pissed? We are undecided. Personally, I don't want toddlers and babies running around. Above 10 or 12 and I would be fine. I have about 10 cousins, he has 1, and we have 2 friends' children that would be out. It isn't a cost issue (our venue offers kids meals at a reduced price and we have room in the budget) but its more of an atmosphere thing. Our reception is at a hotel, so a sitter is feasible, and almost all parents are out of towers. If you have kids, I would GREATLY appreciate your input.
1) we had kids at ours. Our cutoff was nieces and nephews (which our Rb and fg were) and wp's kids. Though we did have one couple write in their kids. I was pissed but decided not to fight it. 2) do not make a cutoff age. Invite in circles. Picking an arbitrary age could mean splitting up families. Can't do that. And honestly, if you are worried about toddlers acting up, children of all ages can be a terror. In fact I would say a 10 year olds tantrum could be far worse than an infant that would probably sleep most of the time. You have to trust parents to do their job. 3) I only printed off a wedding coloring book and gave them some stickers. Nothing much because dancing will totally entertain them. I'm pretty sure the kids meals came our early so these things just gave them something to do while the adult meals came out/parents ate. 4) everyone that didn't have kids were fine with it....with the exception of the write-in friends.

Firmly disagree with this. From what I've seen, it's the infants and toddlers who can't handle it and have temper tantrums, not the 10 year olds. And too many parents CAN'T be trusted to do their jobs.

I think age cut-offs are fine, as long as it doesn't leave, say, one child in a family at home because they fall under the cut-off (albeit very close). So if one is 10 and one is 9, and the cut-off is 10, I'd still invite the 9 year old. But if one is 10 and one is 4, then I think there is no need to invite the 4 year old because they are pretty far apart in age and at different stages of development.

TotalGlamBride · August 2013

The last wedding I went to had plenty of kids. The 3 and unders were constantly laughing, screaming, or jabbering during the entire ceremony. We couldn't even hear the bride and groom exchange their vows. At the reception a few of the 5-7 year olds were running around like maniacs on the dance floor before the dance floor was even open. Their parents were MIA.

We won't be having kids at our wedding. If someone declines b/c they can't bring their precious, then so be it.

doeydo · August 2013

1. No 2. N/A 3. N/A 4. I haven't had any responses yet as my wedding is a little ways off. But it is perfectly okay to have no children at your wedding, although some parents may choose not to attend because of it.

LDubHawksFan · August 2013

Jen4948 said:

lwoehlk said:

MrsRadke said:
1. Are you having kids at the reception?
2. If not, what is your cut off age? Are you providing a sitter?
3. If yes, Are you provinding child activities?
4. What has the response been like? Are people pissed?

We are undecided. Personally, I don't want toddlers and babies running around. Above 10 or 12 and I would be fine. I have about 10 cousins, he has 1, and we have 2 friends' children that would be out. It isn't a cost issue (our venue offers kids meals at a reduced price and we have room in the budget) but its more of an atmosphere thing. Our reception is at a hotel, so a sitter is feasible, and almost all parents are out of towers.

If you have kids, I would GREATLY appreciate your input.
1) we had kids at ours. Our cutoff was nieces and nephews (which our Rb and fg were) and wp's kids. Though we did have one couple write in their kids. I was pissed but decided not to fight it.
2) do not make a cutoff age. Invite in circles. Picking an arbitrary age could mean splitting up families. Can't do that. And honestly, if you are worried about toddlers acting up, children of all ages can be a terror. In fact I would say a 10 year olds tantrum could be far worse than an infant that would probably sleep most of the time. You have to trust parents to do their job.
3) I only printed off a wedding coloring book and gave them some stickers. Nothing much because dancing will totally entertain them. I'm pretty sure the kids meals came our early so these things just gave them something to do while the adult meals came out/parents ate.
4) everyone that didn't have kids were fine with it....with the exception of the write-in friends.

Firmly disagree with this. From what I've seen, it's the infants and toddlers who can't handle it and have temper tantrums, not the 10 year olds. And too many parents CAN'T be trusted to do their jobs.

I think age cut-offs are fine, as long as it doesn't leave, say, one child in a family at home because they fall under the cut-off (albeit very close). So if one is 10 and one is 9, and the cut-off is 10, I'd still invite the 9 year old. But if one is 10 and one is 4, then I think there is no need to invite the 4 year old because they are pretty far apart in age and at different stages of development.

Well if you don't trust any parents to so their job, then don't have any kids at all. A toddlers or 10 year old's parent is responsible to take care of their children, be it crying or acting out. I have seen plenty of 10 year olds throw fits so you you simply cannot have the blanket assumption that babies are the only children that will cause some sort of disruption.
I firmly disagree with your thoughts on splitting up families.

Jen4948 · August 2013

lwoehlk said:

lwoehlk said:

1. Are you having kids at the reception? 2. If not, what is your cut off age? Are you providing a sitter? 3. If yes, Are you provinding child activities? 4. What has the response been like? Are people pissed? We are undecided. Personally, I don't want toddlers and babies running around. Above 10 or 12 and I would be fine. I have about 10 cousins, he has 1, and we have 2 friends' children that would be out. It isn't a cost issue (our venue offers kids meals at a reduced price and we have room in the budget) but its more of an atmosphere thing. Our reception is at a hotel, so a sitter is feasible, and almost all parents are out of towers. If you have kids, I would GREATLY appreciate your input.
1) we had kids at ours. Our cutoff was nieces and nephews (which our Rb and fg were) and wp's kids. Though we did have one couple write in their kids. I was pissed but decided not to fight it. 2) do not make a cutoff age. Invite in circles. Picking an arbitrary age could mean splitting up families. Can't do that. And honestly, if you are worried about toddlers acting up, children of all ages can be a terror. In fact I would say a 10 year olds tantrum could be far worse than an infant that would probably sleep most of the time. You have to trust parents to do their job. 3) I only printed off a wedding coloring book and gave them some stickers. Nothing much because dancing will totally entertain them. I'm pretty sure the kids meals came our early so these things just gave them something to do while the adult meals came out/parents ate. 4) everyone that didn't have kids were fine with it....with the exception of the write-in friends.

Firmly disagree with this. From what I've seen, it's the infants and toddlers who can't handle it and have temper tantrums, not the 10 year olds. And too many parents CAN'T be trusted to do their jobs.

I think age cut-offs are fine, as long as it doesn't leave, say, one child in a family at home because they fall under the cut-off (albeit very close). So if one is 10 and one is 9, and the cut-off is 10, I'd still invite the 9 year old. But if one is 10 and one is 4, then I think there is no need to invite the 4 year old because they are pretty far apart in age and at different stages of development. Well if you don't trust any parents to so their job, then don't have any kids at all. A toddlers or 10 year old's parent is responsible to take care of their children, be it crying or acting out. I have seen plenty of 10 year olds throw fits so you you simply cannot have the blanket assumption that babies are the only children that will cause some sort of disruption. I firmly disagree with your thoughts on splitting up families.

Then let's agree to disagree, shall we?

Some parents are good about taking care of their kids, some are not.

And I find the "not splitting up families" argument to be total fucking bullshit when it comes to families with really rambunctious, misbehaving kids kids-regardless of how old they are, and how well or badly their parents take care of them.

If I don't want them to come, but I do want other kids who are well-behaved, then you know what? I don't give a fucking damn whose feelings are hurt by the badly-behaved kids of any age not being invited, whether or not their siblings are, because they and their parents have demonstrated a total lack of respect for the feelings and needs of the hosts, the venue, and the others present. Nor will I refuse to invite anyone else's kids just because those kids aren't invited. The consequences of bad behavior are that those kids don't get rewarded with future invitations.

Chipmunk415 · August 2013

We're having some kids there. My two nieces (will be 7 and 8.5) and FI's cousin (will be 9) are all flower girls, so they are automatically in reception. It's a 2 hour lunch. FI's other cousin (FG's brother, 6) will be there. The only other "kids" are my 14 yr old cousin and another cousin and her 5 yr old. We'll probably have some books and/or coloring supplies tucked away discreetly in case they are needed for the children under 10.

Kids at the reception...give me your opinions.

Re: Kids at the reception...give me your opinions.

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