Guest List Dilemma!

louandbean · August 2013

I have already asked EVERYONE that was on our initial guest list for their addresses to send out our save-the-dates. However, due to unexpected budget cuts we now have to cut at least 15% of our list! How do I handle this?

Thanks!

smalfrie19 · August 2013

When asking for the addresses did you SAY it was for the wedding?

louandbean · August 2013

I said it would be for sending out save the dates-- and many of these people are expecting to be invited! I just don't want to be rude, you know?

RebeccaB88 · August 2013

Anyone who received a save the date must be invited now. You're stuck there. You can't rescind the invitation without looking rude and hurting people's feelings. You'll have to find other places to cut your budget to accomodate everyone. Less expensive flowers or food, smaller photography package, make your own invitations, no limo. Just take a little from here and there to make up the difference. Or, take whatever temporary jobs you can find to save up a little more money - babysitting, mowing yards, whatever works for you.

louandbean · August 2013

I've already bought, addressed, and stamped the Save the Dates (and a good bit of our guests are out-of-towners), so I think it would be necessary to mail them out... We've cut almost 30 as of today!

louandbean · August 2013

I haven't sent the Save The Dates out yet though-- would it still be rude?

Abbyjensen · August 2013

It's at a tough spot. Technically, you haven't sent out save the dates... but by mentioning the wedding you basically invited them. I think you still have to send them.

Advice for other brides: Say that you are looking for addresses to complete your address book, not for anything wedding related!

louandbean · August 2013

Thing is-- it's already a low-budget wedding. The most expensive parts are the venue (which will be used for Rehearsal, RD, Ceremony, AND Reception) the catering, and the tents/tables/chairs rental (pretty much non-negotiable). FI and I haven't even began to think about alcohol (he's a fraternity guy, I'm a sorority girl-- talk about getting expensive). Our food is as inexpensive as it's going to get-- we're service pasta dishes. Our decorations are DIY as well as our programs. We don't have a videographer at all... This is where I begin to think where am I going to cut my budget?

phira · August 2013

Yeah, this is really tough. I'm sorry you're in this situation. Typically, we say, "If you send a save-the-date to someone, you have to invite them," and you haven't sent the save-the-dates. But anyone who was explicitly told, "We need your address for save-the-dates/wedding invitations," is kind of now invited. Sorry

I would try to cut costs any way you can besides cutting guests. @scribe85's suggestions are good: try less expensive decor, limit paper goods or find inexpensive replacements, reduce unnecessary vendors, forgo favors, consider a buffet meal. If you haven't booked a venue yet, I'd try to find one that doesn't require too much decoration.

melbelleup · August 2013

I wouldn't worry too much about it- just cut who you want to cut. If the people you cut mention it just say that unfortunately your budget couldn't allow everyone you wished to attend it. You haven't sent the STDs so it's not truly bad etiquette.

OliveOilsMom · August 2013

Will it save any money to cut your Reheasal & RD? They are not necessary, unless you are having a very complicated ceremony.

ashleyep · August 2013

louandbean said:

Thing is-- it's already a low-budget wedding. The most expensive parts are the venue (which will be used for Rehearsal, RD, Ceremony, AND Reception) the catering, and the tents/tables/chairs rental (pretty much non-negotiable). FI and I haven't even began to think about alcohol (he's a fraternity guy, I'm a sorority girl-- talk about getting expensive). Our food is as inexpensive as it's going to get-- we're service pasta dishes. Our decorations are DIY as well as our programs. We don't have a videographer at all... This is where I begin to think where am I going to cut my budget?

Linens? It's often times cheaper to buy linens used on ebay or craigslist than to rent them. That might save some money :-\

louandbean · August 2013

It won't-- the venue is a flat fee, we're considering using my mother as the officiant, and ILs are footing the bill for the RD.

louandbean · August 2013

Thanks for the suggestion @ashleyep!

MayDay513 · August 2013

louandbean said:

I have already asked EVERYONE that was on our initial guest list for their addresses to send out our save-the-dates. However, due to unexpected budget cuts we now have to cut at least 15% of our list! How do I handle this?
Thanks!

louandbean said:

I've already bought, addressed, and stamped the Save the Dates (and a good bit of our guests are out-of-towners), so I think it would be necessary to mail them out... We've cut almost 30 as of today!

I am just curious as to how many people you are inviting to your wedding. Because if you cut 30 people and havent hit that 15% mark yet, that's a lot of people. I would definitely consider skipping programs, favors, grooms cake, photobooth, and even cutting down on flowers this may help with the budget as well. If you do need to buy cake cutting sets and toasting flutes I would suggest oriental trading company, they engraved them too. Way cheaper than that Thing's Remembered place at the mall.

louandbean · August 2013

@scribe95 We still have a few months before we have to send them out. You're right though-- it'll be someone or another.

Maggie0829 · August 2013

Have you considered changing the time of your ceremony to a non-meal time and then having a shorter reception and just serving some cheese and crackers, fruit, veggies, and cake? And if you still want some alcohol you could always just serve beer and wine with maybe one signature drink but even that you could do without.

Like others have said, even though you haven't sent the STDs you basically made it known to the people that you were going to invite them to your wedding.

louandbean · August 2013

@huynhette Our initial guest list was 145-150. We've cut a little over 15%. Programs aren't a high priority for me, but if I find a $70 worth of stationary from Vistaprint for $15 again (I did those deals for invitations, save the dates, thank you cards) I will jump at it. A family member is doing the cakes for us, so we didn't really include the cake in the budget. Flowers I got really cheap from an online vendor (and they're silk, so I've already received them). My parents gifted me a nice flute and server set from Things Remembered, so that isn't in the budget either.

ashleyep · August 2013

louandbean said:

@huynhette Our initial guest list was 145-150. We've cut a little over 15%. Programs aren't a high priority for me, but if I find a $70 worth of stationary from Vistaprint for $15 again (I did those deals for invitations, save the dates, thank you cards) I will jump at it. A family member is doing the cakes for us, so we didn't really include the cake in the budget. Flowers I got really cheap from an online vendor (and they're silk, so I've already received them). My parents gifted me a nice flute and server set from Things Remembered, so that isn't in the budget either.

I found a 15 for 45. It looks like the 17 for 70 is sold out.

http://www.groupon.com/deals/vista-print-47

louandbean · August 2013

@Maggie0829, our wedding is at 7PM on a Friday evening. Invitations are already ordered, but we haven't put a deposit down on the caterer yet. Do you think it would be appropriate to serve finger foods? I'm really not sure about that. And that's what I'm really stressing over-- I don't want to offend anyone but it's not feasible to have so many guests with the budget we have now.

louandbean · August 2013

@ashleyep Thanks!

ashleyep · August 2013

louandbean said:

@ashleyep Thanks!

Just be careful, I think sometimes the sales that vistaprint have might make it a better deal. You don't get the sale price with the groupon I don't believe.

louandbean · August 2013

@ashleyep You don't get the sale price with the Groupon-- but I've done the math, and it turns out much cheaper with the Groupon.

Maggie0829 · August 2013

@louandbean - no 7pm is a meal time so people will be expecting a meal. To do finger foods you would need to supply at least 15-25 pieces per person of heavy apps to constitute a meal and that will run you into even more money then a buffet or sit down dinner would.

How much were you invitations? If you didn't spend a lot on them I would reconsider your start time to either after 8pm or earlier like 1:30pm to save on having to serve a meal. It seems like it would be cheaper to have the invites reprinted since you have a long time till your wedding if you haven't even sent the STDs, then trying to cut back anymore without uninviting some guests.

tammym1001 · August 2013

If you haven't booked your caterer yet can you find a cheaper alternative? Perhaps a local restaurant that will bring hot dishes of pasta or something like that rather than a wedding caterer.

MuppetOverlord · August 2013

Louandbean, When you talk about getting addresses to send to people for invitations or STDs...you're telling them they are invited. It's a rough position.

Here's what I would do.... I would invite the people and plan as though they are all coming. Since you are doing a wedding that is not at a meal time, I would plan for heavy appetizers, cake and punch. I'd do a non-alc punch and an spiked punch and cut out other alcohol.

I would have a backup plan. If enough people decline and we had the funds, I'd up to a buffet-style arrangement with a fuller entrée.

Alternately, I would choose a cheaper meal from the caterer and upgrade it when I know enough people have declined.

Maggie0829 · August 2013

MuppetOverlord said:

Louandbean, When you talk about getting addresses to send to people for invitations or STDs...you're telling them they are invited. It's a rough position.
Here's what I would do.... I would invite the people and plan as though they are all coming. Since you are doing a wedding that is not at a meal time, I would plan for heavy appetizers, cake and punch. I'd do a non-alc punch and an spiked punch and cut out other alcohol.
I would have a backup plan. If enough people decline and we had the funds, I'd up to a buffet-style arrangement with a fuller entrée.
Alternately, I would choose a cheaper meal from the caterer and upgrade it when I know enough people have declined.

But 7pm is a meal time. I think any wedding taking place between 4pm and 8pm is taking place at a meal time. Think of it this way. Say I am one of her guests and live about 30 minutes away from the venue. Well I would be getting ready at 5pm and then leaving my house at 6 or 6:15. Needless to say I would be expecting a meal and not just a few apps and cake. Especially since it is a Friday wedding so most likely I would be rushing to get home from work, change and get out the door to make it to the ceremony in time...no way I would have time to eat something before hand.

louandbean · August 2013

@Maggie0829 those were my thoughts exactly. And a great percentage of the people invited are more than 1 hour away from the venue. I can't serve just apps and cake, I'd feel terrible. Unless, I had an insert that said hors d'oeuvres and cake to follow? That way people would know there wouldn't be a meal? I'd still feel rude though-- I don't want my guests to have to run through a McDonalds and have a nasty, unhealthy meal because otherwise they wouldn't make it on time.

Maggie0829 · August 2013

@louandbean - no don't include an insert listing that you aren't serving them a full meal. It would be rude to cut the food because with weddings people will remember only a few things...how pretty you looked in your dress, the food, and the music. If you don't serve a full meal at a meal time people will remember that but not in a good way.

You didn't answer my last question though. How much did you spend on your invites? If you got them through Vista Print and got a good deal then probably not that much. All you would need to do is reprint the actual invite and not the RSVP card. I would really reconsider the timing of your wedding. Cutting back on food but at the correct time of day will definitely save you some cash.

MayDay513 · August 2013

When is your wedding?

louandbean · August 2013

@maggie0829 sorry, didn't see your last post! They were $35 with shipping. That's an idea FI and I will consider though!

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