online rsvp

swimbridemom · August 2013

Has anyone used online rsvp? My daughter wants to use an online rsvp tools to save costs and postage but I would like to use the traditional reply card by mail. Are the online rsvps easier or tacky?

MayDay513 · August 2013

swimbridemom said:

Has anyone used online rsvp? My daughter wants to use an online rsvp tools to save costs and postage but I would like to use the traditional reply card by mail. Are the online rsvps easier or tacky?

They are not tacky. You could do an insert with her wedding website and instructions on how to RSVP. I've also seen email address for RSVP. If you include response cards in invitations they must have a return envelope stamped.

SP29 · August 2013

My FH and I are using an online RSVP (part of our wedding website) in addition to including a response card- everyone got a response card that also contained our website info that said (not word for word) "Please respond by X date at (website) or by mail in the enclosed envelope".

We didn't give everyone return postage- and I'll probably get e-smacked for that. We provided postage to those who we know are not internet savvy guests, but known that most of our guests (friends) will use the wedding website. A lot of our immediate family members have hand delivered the response cards back.

LMM1215 · August 2013

I used one for our upcoming wedding in September. We loved it. Super easy for us and our guests to use. A few of the older guests did call as they did not have computers but it went smooth otherwise.

APDSS22 · August 2013

I'd definitely provide a phone number for the older people/people without easy Internet access as well as the website information just so everyone has a means of contacting you with their RSVP easily.

Jen4948 · August 2013

swimbridemom said:

Has anyone used online rsvp? My daughter wants to use an online rsvp tools to save costs and postage but I would like to use the traditional reply card by mail. Are the online rsvps easier or tacky?

Online RSVPs aren't tacky at all, but by themselves I think they're insufficient for any guests who are not sufficiently tech-savvy or don't have Internet access. So I would use them together with RSVP mail-back cards for all.

Simply Fated · August 2013

I'm not sure if I would call it tacky, but I'd definitely provide a second RSVP option for those who don't have easy access to a computer.
Also, I've read a few situations on here where the site messed up and the bride lost the RSVP information. So, I'm less trusting of this method.

NYCMercedes · August 2013

Why cant you do both? If you want to pay for the increase in paper and postage, and want to handle the RSVPs, then I suggest you offer. My great aunt, 82, routinely emails the family and posts regularly to her and other's FB page, so most everybody is pretty tech savvy these days.

WildMagelet · August 2013

I don't think they're tacky per se, but I would want to be sure to include another method of RSVPing.

Also, check for reviews for whatever service you're using - some people have had problems with them in the past.

TeddiD34 · August 2013

Nope, not tacky.

I'm planning on using WeddingWire's website (it's more reliable than TK), a gmail address and also including a phone number with voice mail for rsvps. Then, compiling it all on a spreadsheet to keep better track of it all.

SP29 · August 2013

Our website is through TheKnot (no issues so far!). But we do also have a spreadsheet that we made to track for each guest that a)the invitation was assembled and addressed b)how many the invitation was for c)it was mailed d)response (yes/no) e)number accepting.

Dreamergirl8812 · August 2013

TeddiD34 said:

Nope, not tacky.

I'm planning on using WeddingWire's website (it's more reliable than TK), a gmail address and also including a phone number with voice mail for rsvps. Then, compiling it all on a spreadsheet to keep better track of it all.

**Kidding, mostly.**

TeddiD34 · August 2013

doeydo · August 2013

I don't think they are that tacky, but I am not fond of them. What about those who do not have access to a computer/the internet or do not know how to use a computer? If she can afford to, I suggest mailing everything

AroundTheBlock · August 2013

Just make sure there is a return address on the invitation envelope. Anyone who is truly traditional will just write a traditional note of reply to the effect that "Mr and Mrs Goodguest / accept with pleasure the kind invitation of / Mr and Mrs Goodhost / for their daughter's wedding on Saturday the twenty-third of November / at eleven o'clock" or whatever the details are. Anyone who is both computer-illiterate and manners-illiterate will likely not reply without prompting anyway.

AroundTheBlock · August 2013

Just make sure there is a return address on the invitation envelope. Anyone who is truly traditional will just write a traditional note of reply to the effect that "Mr and Mrs Goodguest / accept with pleasure the kind invitation of / Mr and Mrs Goodhost / for their daughter's wedding on Saturday the twenty-third of November / at eleven o'clock" or whatever the details are. Anyone who is both computer-illiterate and manners-illiterate will likely not reply without prompting anyway.

BrandNewJ · August 2013

Personally, I prefer to mail a card back, and I'm in my early 20s so I'm pretty good with a computer. I think it depends on the formality of the wedding. If the event is modern or informal, I'd say it would add a cute touch. I personally wouldn't get online RSVP if it was black tie. Older people or those who can't use computers well will have a lot of difficulty figuring out how to RSVP and might not. I'd say the money spent on postage is money well spent.

rklinge0 · August 2013

I did email and phone calls to save a little bit of money. My fiance's family didn't really RSVP but according to his mother they wouldn't have anyway because they don't anyways. I have talked to people who sent out self addressed envelopes and the response was about the same.

OliveOilsMom · August 2013

While I don't think online RSVP is tacky, I think for a wedding, there is a sense of formality and paper RSVPing should be used. When I hosted my sister's shower, I used email and a phone number, but a shower is more informal.

@SP29 you should go over to the Knottie Tech Help board. Many people complain about the RSVP system TK offers. If you are insisting on online RSVP, I would try to use a different method.

SP29 · August 2013

Really! I should check it out, to see what is going on, as we haven't had any issues so far (we have had people both accept and decline on the website).

We aren't exclusively using the online RSVP- all guests were provided with a response card (that contained both sets of info- either RSVP via our wedding website or mail back the response card in the enclosed envelope).

thejucheidea · August 2013

Not tacky, but I'm not fond of them at all. I'm more likely to remember to RSVP and keep track of something if I have real paper.

cowgirl8238 · August 2013

I would provide an alternative just a website, whether it is a phone number, or a card with an addressed envelope (sans postage if saving money is the reason). But personally I am having cards! That is also because my vendor requires us to give a count on which dish the guests want, (Hey it was better then only giving the guests one option!) and I felt an on-line RSVP would just become to complicated for a bunch of people I know!

misshart00 · August 2013

I used TK's wedding website RSVP. It was such a headache. I suggest if you want to do online rsvps, use another website.

Lilnaz11 · August 2013

I do agree that an actual mailed RSVP card is a bit more classy...especially for older guests, who do not use the computer, HOWEVER- we sent out 240 invitations, and as of today have only gotten 170 back (reply by date was Aug 23). SO RUDE! Some people (apparently most people) are just completely self absorbed and won't take the 2 seconds it takes to write their name on a line, and drop it in the mail. I am now wishing that I would have printed 2 separate RSVP cards- one traditional one for the handful of older guests, and one online version for the younger guests . I would have saved a lot of postage! My 2 cents

OliveOilsMom · August 2013

Lilnaz11 said:

I do agree that an actual mailed RSVP card is a bit more classy...especially for older guests, who do not use the computer, HOWEVER- we sent out 240 invitations, and as of today have only gotten 170 back (reply by date was Aug 23). SO RUDE! Some people (apparently most people) are just completely self absorbed and won't take the 2 seconds it takes to write their name on a line, and drop it in the mail. I am now wishing that I would have printed 2 separate RSVP cards- one traditional one for the handful of older guests, and one online version for the younger guests . I would have saved a lot of postage! My 2 cents

If someone can't mail back an RSVP card, what makes you think they would be able to email their RSVP?

Itsthevix · September 2013

They are not tacky at all, and many people prefer them. It saves time, money, natural resources and effort on the part of the guests. But there will be some people who are really looking forward to getting that envelope in the mail, and if possible, you want to give them that experience. I'm having online RSVP available for friends and people who prefer a paper-free experience, and will send out a formal invite for older family members who want to hang an invite on the fridge.

STARMOON44 · September 2013

@itsthevix its not clear from your post, but if you're planning on sending only select guests a formal invite, and doing something else for the rest of them, that isn't okay. It's fine to provide multiple ways to RSVP, but everyone should get the same invite. I'd feel very b list if I just got an email and then saw another guest with a formal invite on the fridge.

Itsthevix · September 2013

That's your opinion and I respect it. Everyone will get the same Save the Date postcard, however, not everyone WANTS paper invites. My friends here are *super* eco-friendly, and don't appreciate the waste of all the paper and gasoline that goes into sending and receiving formal invites. We talked about it Sunday and they've asked me to give them a "Save a Tree" option along with the save the date, where they can choose to go online and respond and get all the info for the wedding, registry, etc. instead. My family and friends in other states will all get traditional invites, along with my non tree-hugger friends, but for the 40 or so here who are eco-conscious, (as in no disposable diapers, no meat, no disposable ANYTHING) they are happy hanging the Save the Date on the fridge and saving the 4 or 5 extra sheets of paper. To each their own.

snoopycac · September 2013

Itsthevix said:

That's your opinion and I respect it. Everyone will get the same Save the Date postcard, however, not everyone WANTS paper invites. My friends here are *super* eco-friendly, and don't appreciate the waste of all the paper and gasoline that goes into sending and receiving formal invites. We talked about it Sunday and they've asked me to give them a "Save a Tree" option along with the save the date, where they can choose to go online and respond and get all the info for the wedding, registry, etc. instead. My family and friends in other states will all get traditional invites, along with my non tree-hugger friends, but for the 40 or so here who are eco-conscious, (as in no disposable diapers, no meat, no disposable ANYTHING) they are happy hanging the Save the Date on the fridge and saving the 4 or 5 extra sheets of paper. To each their own.

Why can't you create a simpler invite? I have seen invites that are one page for the invite, plus the little paper for the RSVP. That is 1.5 (probably less) per invite. You never know, some people that are "eco-friendly" might prefer to send back a paper RSVP, and those that are not, might prefer to RSVP online. It would be better to give everyone the same options.

ashleyep · September 2013

Itsthevix said:

That's your opinion and I respect it. Everyone will get the same Save the Date postcard, however, not everyone WANTS paper invites. My friends here are *super* eco-friendly, and don't appreciate the waste of all the paper and gasoline that goes into sending and receiving formal invites. We talked about it Sunday and they've asked me to give them a "Save a Tree" option along with the save the date, where they can choose to go online and respond and get all the info for the wedding, registry, etc. instead. My family and friends in other states will all get traditional invites, along with my non tree-hugger friends, but for the 40 or so here who are eco-conscious, (as in no disposable diapers, no meat, no disposable ANYTHING) they are happy hanging the Save the Date on the fridge and saving the 4 or 5 extra sheets of paper. To each their own.

But they're okay with a paper save the date?

Itsthevix · September 2013

I don't understand - why would you encourage me to find a way to do something we don't want to do, for people who don't want us to do it?

Like I said, my fiancé and I had this discussion with our friends day before yesterday and this is what they - and we - all decided worked for us as a group. The STD will be a cool graphic postcard that they will want to keep. The formal invite is just an invite to them. It'll be nice and formal and everything my Nana wants to see in an invite, but nothing that this group needs or wants. I'm looking over at my fridge and there are three STD cards from the last three weddings for couples in our circle. They're funny and cool and they'll live there for as long as the magnets hold. I didn't feel slighted at all that no formal invites were mailed to us, because that didn't matter to us. There was still plenty of love, laughter, adoration, dancing, great food and good fun.

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