Changing last name

mracker1010 · August 2013

I am divorced, and my fiancé and I have decided to change our last name to my maiden name when we marry. How can we reflect this change on the invitation?

msuprincess04 · August 2013

There isn't a place for it on the invitation itself. But maybe put an insert that simply reads, "After the ceremony Mrcraker1010 and FI will be known as Mrcraker1010 and FI Lastname." Though, that doesn't guarantee that you won't get checks made out to the incorrect name.

southernbelle0915 · August 2013

You don't need to. Use your pre-married names as you normally would.

You can communicate this by being announced at the reception as Mr. and Mrs. YourMaidanName. Monogramming on your cake, favors, decorations, etc. is an option. Getting address labels for thank you notes, signing your new name to thank you cards, etc. are other ways to communicate the change.

LakeR2014 · August 2013

As an idea, if you haven't sent out your invites yet...I'd get address labels that say Mr. Joe & Mrs. Jane mracker1010-maiden name to go on the return address side on the invite. That way it's already started making people aware. I know you won't be Mr. and Mrs. so and so yet, but it's a way to let them know you'll be those names after you're married.

phira · August 2013

Do you have a wedding website?

Two of my friends decided to change their last name to an entirely new one when they got married. On their wedding website, they had a page briefly explaining their decision, and where the name came from. It wasn't defensive at all, and it was done very tastefully.

Maybe you could have a link on your wedding website titled "Our last name," and write something like, "[mracker1010] and [fiance] are excited to start their lives together as a family, and have decided to share the last name [your last name]." Something that short might go better in a list of FAQs instead of its own page, I guess.

ashleyep · August 2013

LakeR2014 said:

As an idea, if you haven't sent out your invites yet...I'd get address labels that say Mr. Joe & Mrs. Jane mracker1010-maiden name to go on the return address side on the invite. That way it's already started making people aware. I know you won't be Mr. and Mrs. so and so yet, but it's a way to let them know you'll be those names after you're married.

Don't do that. You're not supposed to use your married name before you're married. Her fiance isn't Mr. Joe her-last-name yet.

Just make a note of it on your website if it's that important. But at the weddings I've been to where the bride hasn't changed her name, they didn't feel like they had to make a big announcement about it. It's not a big deal.

phira · August 2013

@ashleyep I think the issue here isn't that the bride isn't changing her last name, but that the groom (I think?) is changing his to the bride's maiden name. This is a really unusual change, even in 2013, so I can understand why mracker1010 is worried about how they should let people know.

jessicabessica · August 2013

It doesn't go on the invitation. I would put a note on your programs and wedding website, if you have them. I have seen couples put their new names and address at the end of their program.

If you're worried about depositing checks made out to the wrong name, I think you can work it out with your bank. You may need to bring your marriage certificate and record of name change(s), so I would just call to figure out what will work.

Kate61487 · August 2013

Ditto PPs, don't put your new names on anything until you're married. You can put a note in your programs, be announced at the reception, make sure all correspondence AFTER the wedding (thank yous, Christmas cards, return addresses) has the right name. You can even pass around by word of mouth what it will be before hand, but nothing in print.

Am I understanding that you'll BOTH be changing your names? i.e. you're currently the ex-Mrs Smith and never changed it back? (otherwise I don't know why the divorce info was pertinent). I could see people being confused by this, especially his family/friends who may not be aware of what your maiden name even was. Just be prepared to make gentle/polite corrections for a while until people figure it out.

mracker1010 · August 2013

Good idea!

mracker1010 · August 2013

Yes, I kept my former married name after the divorce because of the kids. Ready to get rid of it now! My fiancé wants to change his name because it's a Polish hot mess.. LOL! My maiden name is simply Brown.

Jen4948 · August 2013

This doesn't go on the invitation itself.

Put it on an at-home card to be included in your invitation:

Bride and Groom YourLastName

After date when you will be at home
Address
City, State, Zip

MuppetOverlord · August 2013

Any checks can still be deposited under your previous legal alias.You have to sign it with the name that you received it. I suggest calling your bank to confirm what they want you to do. It was really easy for me.

I still have my ex's name but I used my maiden name on my invitations because I didn't feel there was a place for my ex husbands name at my wedding. Most of my family think that's my last name still, I told my coworkers in advance and his family doesn't know my last name anyway.

My new last name and old last name are almost the same. The only thing at work that people are going to notice is that my emails wont go through to my old name after a while.

oh what a tangled web

Changing last name

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