Is a "Cocktail hour" the only way to fill a little gap?

Re: Is a "Cocktail hour" the only way to fill a little gap?

• ashleyep member

  

  September 2013

  Yes, a cocktail hour is simply an hour where refreshments are served in between the ceremony and reception. You can absolutely have a cocktail hour with mostly non-alcoholic beverages. Be sure to have some hors d'oeuvres as well.

  
  

  I suppose you could have them enter the dinner area and start eating, but that would be kind of awkward. Usually when the B&G are introduced and toasts are done, that symbolizes the start of dinner. Plus, if they're done eating by the time you get in there, you risk not being able to eat your food because your guests want to visit with you and are done with their meals.

  
  

  

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• banana468 member

  

  September 2013

  Add non alcoholic beverages, cheese, crackers and a fruit/veggie tray. That's more than enough for your guests and prevents them from drinking on an empty stomach.

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• T1990 member

  

  September 2013

  Thank you @Ashleyep and @banana468 I will do the cocktail hour and just add some hors d'oeuvres! 

  
  

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• phira member

  

  September 2013

  Let's think about it this way:

  
  

  You're going to have your ceremony and your reception. At some point, you want to take formals (photos of you and your families, and the wedding party), which you can't do during the ceremony. You're essentially asking if the reception can start without you so you can take photos. The reason why this isn't a good idea is that you are hosting this event. It's weird for you to be absent from the reception for about an hour, and it's also rude for some guests (family and wedding party) to have to wait to be seated and start eating while others can get started much earlier. It's also messy from a catering standpoint.

  
  

  So, you're looking at a gap of about an hour in between the ceremony and reception. You do not have to serve cocktails during that hour, but you have to do SOMETHING--your fiance needs to remember that you're hosting an event, and leaving guests with nothing to do is really rude.

  
  

  You could serve alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages and some appetizers. You could have a sort of "guest bingo" or trivia to encourage socializing. You could have a guestbook for people to sign; giving them time before the reception to sign it means you could have something more involved, like, "Sketch a picture of the happy couple!" or "Write us some words of wisdom for our marriage."

  
  

  The key thing isn't to serve alcohol, but to keep your guests entertained and hosted while you're doing photos.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• CrazyCatLady3 member

  

  September 2013

  T1990 said:

  My Fiance and I were talking the other day about how everything is going to flow from ceremony to pictures to reception. We figured after the ceremony the family, us and the BP will probably take about an hour for pictures. I was thinking that the people could start getting their food and maybe start eating without us. (This is my first wedding and I have not been to a ton of wedding so I don't know how things go.) I was told that usually the guest wait to eat with the bride and groom. I am ok with that but I know I need to have something to entertain the guest for that hour. The ceremony and reception are at the same place (we are getting married in front of a barn and then the reception will be in the barn, so it is only 50ft away from each other.) 

  
  

  I told my Fiance we needed to have something to entertain the guest for that hour. He just responded with they will be fine. I don't plan on just doing nothing. I will do a cocktail hour but we do have about 40% of people who do not drink. I will put out some cokes and other non-alcoholic drinks at the bar but should I do some kind of snack even though we will be eating as soon as we are done with pictures? I just feel like the point of a cocktail hour is to drink cocktails but if you don't drink alcohol would you get bored during that hour?

  
  

  I don't want to have any pictures of me and him before the wedding, I want him to see me for the first time walking down the isle. So doing the pictures before the wedding is out of the question. I am doing pictures with the girls before and he is doing pictures with the guys before to cut down the time of pictures after the ceremony. 

  
  

  So main question: Is cocktail hour still ok when 40% of your guest do not drink? If not then what are some other things we can do? Or is it ok for the guest to start getting their food and start eating without us? 

  Yes to the bolded.  I am not a big drinker and would be bored (and hungry) at the cocktail hour if there were no food.  You don't have to go all out.  I would be happy with iced tea, diet coke, and some cheese, fruit and crackers.

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• T1990 member

  

  September 2013

  @Phira I like your idea of the guest signing the guest book. I was thinking about having cards out for them to write whatever they want in them.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  September 2013 edited September 2013

  Your FI is wrong about this.  They will not "be just fine on their own" with nothing to do and nothing to eat or drink.  You have to provide something along these lines.
  
  That said, it doesn't have to be elaborate.  Cocktails, virgin drinks, soda, and appetizers will be fine.
  

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• T1990 member

  

  September 2013

  @Jen4948 I understand that...He is just too laid back and thinks everyone else is too. I have lurked on these boards to long so I know that it is wrong and we have to do something. 

  
  

  I am liking everyone's input. Thank you!

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• Jen4948 member

  

  September 2013

  T1990 said:

  @Jen4948 I understand that...He is just too laid back and thinks everyone else is too. I have lurked on these boards to long so I know that it is wrong and we have to do something. 

  
  

  I am liking everyone's input. Thank you!

  You're welcome!  Happy to help!
  

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• APDSS22 member

  

  September 2013

  I had a friend who got married last May and did this exact same thing.  She took pictures with her new hubby while we the guests went into the barn to eat off the cheese and cracker plate that was out, remark on how awesome the decor was, drink our sodas (most of my friends don't drink) and then sign the guest book.  I didn't feel bored at all and everyone I could see was perfectly happy.
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  September 2013

  We had a hosted cocktail hour because H didn't want to see me before the ceremony (so we took photos afterwards). 

  
  

  You could make it really simple by hosting soda, a signature drink (if you can't afford a full bar), and fruit/veggie tray. Nothing has to be fancy as long as it's hosted.

  *********************************************************************************

  
  

  

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• KDM323 member

  

  September 2013

  You don't have to do anything elaborate - cheese, crackers, fruit, veggies and some dip - along with drinks (alcoholic or non-alcoholic) will suffice.
  

  *** Fairy Tales Do Come True ***

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• Simply Fated member

  

  September 2013

  I feel like the term "cocktail hour" is misleading. You don't actually have to serve straight up cocktails and it doesn't have to last exactly one hour.
  

  
  

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• aurorajanette member

  

  September 2013

  I was just at a great wedding where they did a simple cocktail hour. They did not have a bartender there, and instead had buckets of ice with soda, beer and water in them. They also had a HUGE pitcher of sangria that the Bride's aunt refilled as needed. They had a veggie plate, some chips and dip, pretzel, etc. Simple, easy and cost-effective!

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• JLynG09 member

  

  September 2013

  Thank you for posting this!  I hadn't really thought of it and now I've gotten some great ideas (pics w/ the girls beforehand, write advice, sign book) will help me not be nervous about my guests during that time frame.  Thanks again!!

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• s-aries8990 member

  

  September 2013

  Just call it a "Social Hour" with all the same trappings as a cocktail hour, except have a healthy amount of non-alcoholic beverages.
  

   

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• AprilH81 member

  

  September 2013 edited September 2013

  JLynG09 said:

  Thank you for posting this!  I hadn't really thought of it and now I've gotten some great ideas (pics w/ the girls beforehand, write advice, sign book) will help me not be nervous about my guests during that time frame.  Thanks again!!

  Personally (and this is just personal preference with my family) I would not do the advice cards.  I never know what to put on those cards and I usually leave them blank.  My Mom never does those types of cards either so you could be wasting time, money and paper.  Your guest book will be plenty, especially if it is signing a photobook or something similar.  Guests who want to write advice can do so there.

  
  

  Otherwise, as PP mentioned you do not have to have alcohol there.  As long as there are a few choices of beverages and a few snack type items you will be fine as long as "cocktail hour" doesn't last two hours.

  

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• phira member

  

  September 2013

  @AprilH81 I mentioned the advice cards as an alternative to a guest book, not in addition to one. The reason I suggested it was that writing down a piece of advice for the happy couple will take longer than just signing your name (or leaving a thumbprint), which will 1) give guests more to do during the hour, and 2) would be a reason to have people start "signing the guestbook" earlier than the reception.

  
  

  However, you're right to point out that marriage advice won't be something that everyone will feel comfortable doing, especially if you want, say, your young cousins to sign. Maybe some mixture of suggestions: Advice for our marriage, predictions about our future, how did you meet the bride or the groom, etc.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• MuppetOverlord member

  

  September 2013

  As a guest, I'm cool with a few cheap snacks, a few beverage options and the people around me to talk to. Maybe a place if I want to sit.
  
  Consult pinterest for some low cost appetizers
  

  
  
  You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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• asterling1313 member

  

  September 2013

  Call it a "Refreshment Hour" everyone will be ok with mingling for an hour as long as they have somthing to drink (even if its non-alcoholic) and something to snack on. We are doing that for my wedding just because we want to wait to serve drinks during dinner. Think lemonade and iced tea and sodas!

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• AprilH81 member

  

  September 2013

  phira said:

  @AprilH81 I mentioned the advice cards as an alternative to a guest book, not in addition to one. The reason I suggested it was that writing down a piece of advice for the happy couple will take longer than just signing your name (or leaving a thumbprint), which will 1) give guests more to do during the hour, and 2) would be a reason to have people start "signing the guestbook" earlier than the reception.

  
  

  However, you're right to point out that marriage advice won't be something that everyone will feel comfortable doing, especially if you want, say, your young cousins to sign. Maybe some mixture of suggestions: Advice for our marriage, predictions about our future, how did you meet the bride or the groom, etc.

  Sorry, that was a reading fail on my part.    Still you may want to take into account that some people may not participate so you won't have everyone's name on a card when everything is said and done.  But you will probably get more if you just say "leave a note for the bride and groom" than asking specific advice or whatever.  Again, that is personal preference so do what you want in this case.

  

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• phira member

  

  September 2013

  @AprilH81 No worries! I think you made a really excellent point.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• svc2014 member

  

  September 2013

  Wait I'm confused. Why does it need to be "called" anything? Won't your invites just read:
   
  Ceremony at 2:00 @ the park
  Reception to follow
  
  I don't know if I've seen it where you say cocktail hour to follow..then reception. No?
  

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• T1990 member

  

  September 2013

  @svc2014 I actually just got an invitation to a wedding that had the whole schedule on it. Other than that one though I have never seen it on any other ones. My question wasn't really about putting anything on invites though...I just wanted to know what I should do during that hour we will be taking pictures. (Most of the time it is called a cocktail hour so I used that wording.)

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• svc2014 member

  

  September 2013

  T1990 said:

  @svc2014 I actually just got an invitation to a wedding that had the whole schedule on it. Other than that one though I have never seen it on any other ones. My question wasn't really about putting anything on invites though...I just wanted to know what I should do during that hour we will be taking pictures. (Most of the time it is called a cocktail hour so I used that wording.)

  OK that's what I thought! It was more of a side note since people were posting about what to call it.
  
  Addressing the read questions I think the punch and light snacks sounds perfect.
  

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• Lovely~Little~Lulu

  

  September 2013

  Yeah, provide non-alcoholic options. But if you're worried about them getting bored, why not set up some outdoor games, like crochet and bag toss? That way eating & drinking isn't the only way to pass the time.
  

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• KeptInStitches member

  

  September 2013

  As a yarncrafter, I can say that crocheting outside is awesome, but croquet will probably go over better if you go that route.

  

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• T1990 member

  

  September 2013

  I was going to have the bag toss and horse shoe games out after dinner but that's a good idea to put them out before. Thanks @Lovely~Little~Lulu  

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• mrankin90

  

  September 2013

  I agree.  We thought about calling it "mingling" for an hour.

   

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• daveANDkristen member

  

  September 2013

  svc2014 said:

  Wait I'm confused. Why does it need to be "called" anything? Won't your invites just read:
   
  Ceremony at 2:00 @ the park
  Reception to follow
  
  I don't know if I've seen it where you say cocktail hour to follow..then reception. No?
  

  Yeah, I agree.  And unless it was a dry wedding I don't think changing the name is necessary.  All cocktail hours that I've been to have had soft drinks available as well, it's not like the bartenders force you to drink alcohol. 
  

  
  

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