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Total Surprise Extra Fee

MonBonPSUMonBonPSU member
Second Anniversary 10 Comments
in Wedding Woes
I know a lady who used to own a flower shop and we became friendly.  When FI and I moved away, we would still go visit her when we were back in town. 

Fast forward a few years... I got engaged and wanted to use her as the florist for my wedding.  Her shop was in the same town where 2 of my BM's live and is on the way from my parents' house, so I figured someone would be able to swing by on their way to my wedding, no problem.  I called her up back in April or May to ask her about doing my flowers and she told me that she closed her shop!  Crap!  But then she said that if FI and I bought the flowers and paid for her hotel room for Friday and Saturday nights, she would put them together for us on Friday. 

We figured out that it was cheaper to pay for 2 nights in the hotel, food for the 2 of them at the reception and bulk flowers than to hire a florist to do everything.  (Centerpieces are included in the reception price and the church doesn't really want us to decorate, so it would just be bouquets and boutonnieres.)  Hooray!

I texted her today to ask her about ribbon, and she asked if we had booked the hotel yet for them and that she was only going to charge me $250 for doing the flowers.  She said that she usually charges more, but she loves us and wants to give us a discount.  That money would go towards gas (it's a 3 hr drive each way) and supplies (not really sure what that entails).

So now, I don't know what to do.  I didn't budget for an extra $250!  We didn't get anything in writing about costs and fees, totally my fault. I'm sure that the moms and I can put them together, they won't look as professional, but I'm sure they will be fine.  Since she's a friend, I feel terrible firing her, but we really can't afford this fee.  What do I say to her??  I'm fine if she still wants to come to the wedding, but I won't pay for her room if she's not doing my flowers.

help


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Re: Total Surprise Extra Fee

  • dharmabunnydharmabunny member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    "I'm sorry, we are running a tight budget. We simply can't afford the additional fee. We're going to have to make alternate arrangements for flowers"

    She's either going to have to let it go, or the negotiation process starts.
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  • dharmabunnydharmabunny member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    FWIW, the fee is not especially unreasonable. You need to remember, friendly/friend =/= BFF. You cant make a living giving away your services to everyone that asks for them. Not great that it wasn't discussed prior, but whatever.

    Assume a 3 hr each way trip = 200 mi high end. 400 mi in a 20 mpg car = 20 gal of gas x $3.50 per gal. That's about $75 right there. Just gas. There may also be a mileage reimbursement folded in there based on IRS numbers. Not sure what that's running per mile.

    "Extra supplies" = floral tape, vials for water, shellacs, preservatives, adhesives, etc. The sundry items that you'd never think to buy, and if the florist told you what to get, you may very likely screw it up. Easier just to assign a number and say "I got it"

    The fee might also just be the "I'm serious" fee.
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  • MonBonPSUMonBonPSU member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    Very true that I would most likely screw up buying supplies! 

    I completely agree that the fee is definitely reasonable.  Had she mentioned it 5 months ago, I would have budgeted it in with everything else.  But, I was under the impression 5 months ago that we were only paying for her room and the flowers.  It is absolutely my fault that I didn't get everything in writing. 

    I know that she's not doing it to be malicious, just that she assumed that I knew there would be an extra fee and I assumed there wouldn't be.

    I'm no good at telling people bad news and am scared to tell her that we can't afford it now.  Guess I'm going to have to suck it up!
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  • PirateBarbiePirateBarbie member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    dharmabunny said:
    FWIW, the fee is not especially unreasonable. You need to remember, friendly/friend =/= BFF. You cant make a living giving away your services to everyone that asks for them. Not great that it wasn't discussed prior, but whatever. Assume a 3 hr each way trip = 200 mi high end. 400 mi in a 20 mpg car = 20 gal of gas x $3.50 per gal. That's about $75 right there. Just gas. There may also be a mileage reimbursement folded in there based on IRS numbers. Not sure what that's running per mile. "Extra supplies" = floral tape, vials for water, shellacs, preservatives, adhesives, etc. The sundry items that you'd never think to buy, and if the florist told you what to get, you may very likely screw it up. Easier just to assign a number and say "I got it" The fee might also just be the "I'm serious" fee.
    The IRS fee is  $0.565/mi right now... so 

    200mi * .565 = $113 per segment *2 = $226 in mileage 

    not to mention tolls. 

    would this woman have been invited to (and attending) your wedding if not as the florist? 

    I don't see a fee for additional supplies as unreasonable, but can understand that it's hard to try to work it into your budget on short notice. 

    I'm in agreement with others - "I'm sorry, I thought that we had agreed that I would purchase the flowers and pay for your room for 2 nights. I didn't realize there would be an additional fee on top of this, and unfortunately it's not in my budget."
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  • alikatt17alikatt17 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper

    I have two questions:

    1. Could you get her a cheaper hotel room?

    2. Did you ever get quotes from other florists?

    I guess I just don't see $250 as a huge budget breaker in the grand scheme.  Of course, I don't see how two nights of a hotel room + two wedding guests + $250 would be cheaper than any other florist if you are just doing bouquets and boutineers.   I'd contact a couple other florists to just get some quotes for the same flowers.  Get suggestions for the more budget florists in your area on your local board.  Honestly, this doesn't sound like a person you would normally invite to your wedding anyway if you are just friendly with them.  Like, I'm friendly with my doctor but I wouldn't invite her to my wedding. 

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  • WzzWzz member
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited September 2013

    i totally understand that this was a surprise - but i am wondering if you both just assumed wrong. she doesn't have a shop, so she offered to do them as freelance work if you were willing to get her a room to work out of. maybe she didn't even think to mention that she charges a fee at first. 

    i think you should either figure out how to come up with the very fair price of $250, or just let her know you cannot afford her service for flowers with the extra fee. i'm a little surprised you didn't expect to pay her anything for her travel costs or gas or anything, but it is what it is.

     

    maybe a local florist is cheaper in the long run, maybe she can help you find a cheaper wholeslae flower vendor to hel with the costs.

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  • MonBonPSUMonBonPSU member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    She would not have been invited if she weren't doing my flowers.  When I asked her (and invited her to the wedding) and she didn't say anything about a fee, I assumed (again, incorrectly!) that putting the flowers together was going to be her gift to us.

    I looked a little bit for local florists, but they all seemed to be hundreds of dollars more than what I thought we were going to be paying: Bulk flowers from Sam's, 2 nights in the hotel (discounted because that's where the reception is) and 2 people for the reception.

    Like I said, $250 would have been fine, had I known about it 5 months ago.  Now we're 7 weeks before the wedding and have everything budgeted already.  By everything, I mean wedding stuff and life stuff, like rent, car payments, bills, etc.
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  • WzzWzz member
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    well, honestly, i wouldn't try to get out of the fee. she will have to pay for her travel costs. at this point, the others have some good advice. spend less on flowers, try for a cheaper hotel room, or just tell her you can;t use her service any longer.

     

    you could try to negotiate a smaller fee, but i don't think $250 is unreasonable for her time and gas, and who knows what she needs to buy....etc..

     

    maybe you and whoever you can ask for help can buy flowers from a local place (supermarkets always have flowers) and DIY the bouquets a few days in advance. or skip them and just go with the bare necessities - one bridal bouquet and a bout for the groom.

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  • MonBonPSUMonBonPSU member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    Thanks for all of the advice!
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