Reception only invitees?

Sembree1 · September 2013

We would like to have a small, intimate wedding, then follow immediately by a reception where we would invite friends, close coworkers, etc. How would you go about that if it were you? Is that accepatble to do?

misshart00 · September 2013

Is your small intimate wedding only your immediate family? Siblings and parents?

Ajuliana · September 2013

It's really not. It is like saying "You're good enough to give me a present for my wedding but not good enough to attend it."

How intimate in terms of people do you want and how many to the reception?

Sembree1 · September 2013

I think it'll be family. Siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc

LDubHawksFan · September 2013

Only if your ceremony is truly only immediate family. Not even aunts and uncles and like on the order of 10% or less than the reception guest count. Otherwise it will come across like you are snubbing those guests. Others know the wording better than I but I think it would be something like:

Bride and groom will be married at a private ceremony.

They request your presence in the celebration if their marriage on date at time, etc.

Sembree1 · September 2013

It is also a no gift reception if that makes a difference. Just dinner, dancing, and celebrating:)

misshart00 · September 2013

I think it's inappropriate.

Also, all receptions are no gift receptions as you shouldn't mention anything about gifts.

LDubHawksFan · September 2013

Sembree1 said:
It is also a no gift reception if that makes a difference. Just dinner, dancing, and celebrating:)

Gifts are never expected. Many guests will still bring them regardless.

On here, the idea of an intimate ceremony followed by a large reception is considered ok (though I don't really see the point), as long as the proportions are such that it really is an intimate ceremony. The 10% number is a bit arbitrary but it gives you an idea of the order if magnitude.

Edit: what is your reasoning??

Bubbles2014 · September 2013

I think it is a bit of a have your cake and eat it too situation. If you want a small, family only wedding then have it. If you want a big wedding with friends and coworkers, have that. I don't think you can really do both unless your ceremony is tiny (parents, siblings, grandparents). I would probably not attend a reception if I wasn't invited to the ceremony. Kind of defeats the purpose of going to a wedding if you don't actually go to the wedding.

Sembree1 · September 2013

we are trying to figure out a compromise. I cant do a big ceremony due to a panic disorder, but a reception i think i could handle because its not all the people staring a me. I'm afraid if we do small and don't even have a reception people will be more upset to be not included a all?

annathy03 · September 2013

Like PPs said, if it's truly intimate (like immediate family only) it's acceptable etiquette wise, and if you have panic attacks or similar issues that's an understandable reason to have an intimate ceremony. I still wouldn't include aunts/uncles, etc, I'd keep the ceremony as small as you can.

MoonlightSilver · September 2013

People will be staring at you and bombarding you at the reception too.

Bubbles2014 · September 2013

If people are upset by your small wedding that is your problem, not theirs. They aren't entitled to come. Try saying something like "We are keeping the wedding very small, but we will be sure to catch up after the wedding!" Lather, rinse, repeat.

Reception only invitees?

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