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Crying all the time

jayandtiffsjayandtiffs member
First Anniversary First Comment
edited August 2013 in Chit Chat
I have been with my fiance for almost 9 years and we have been engaged one year. I have waited for this for so long, and I am finally in the thick of planning. I am on my hardcore diet and doing great, I have all my vendors selected and my venue is working with me to ensure this "perfect day".

I find every time I envision this day I start crying. I am tearing up even writing this. I am an emotional person and so scared I will not hold it together. Lost my mom young and plan to have the officiant mention her as well. When I am working out to music I envision my dancing, and how proud I will be of my hard work and also that this is finally happening for me, etc, etc, it is annoying me how often I find myself crying!

I keep hoping "it is 9 months away by then I will have envisioned everything enough and be all cried out" and hold it together for the pics and for everyone else. I want to be happy but I don't want to be "crying happy" lol. Anyone else deal with this emotional flood while planning? When you finally had the ceremony, were you as bad as you thought?

*Edited* I am just so happy.... I was really embarrassed by the initial comments to this post but honestly I am not sad in any way I am just so happy :)

I think my wording was wrong initially but this is the best time of my life, and I am not worried about anything going wrong. I am just so happy that this is happening and I am getting to have a wedding that I want. I was surprised so many people assumed I need mental help, I guess it is possible and I will discuss that further with friends, but I am just an emotional wreck because I am thrilled - we did not start planning until recently (again, see above, been waiting almost ten years for this) and I thought others were so anticipating their wedding they would be misty eyed often throughout the process.... I am not full out bawling, just happy-crying a lot to myself. ... anyway whatever, i guess I am mental that is what I have gathered.... but since I couldn't delete it and start over, I added to it. Thanks for listening.
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Re: Crying all the time

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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
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    jayandtiffs said:
    I have been with my fiance for almost 9 years and we have been engaged one year. I have waited for this for so long, and I am finally in the thick of planning. I am on my hardcore diet and doing great, I have all my vendors selected and my venue is working with me to ensure this "perfect day".

    I find every time I envision this day I start crying. I am tearing up even writing this. I am an emotional person and so scared I will not hold it together. Lost my mom young and plan to have the officiant mention her as well. When I am working out to music I envision my dancing, and how proud I will be of my hard work and also that this is finally happening for me, etc, etc, it is annoying me how often I find myself crying!

    I keep hoping "it is 9 months away by then I will have envisioned everything enough and be all cried out" and hold it together for the pics and for everyone else. I want to be happy but I don't want to be "crying happy" lol. Anyone else deal with this emotional flood while planning? When you finally had the ceremony, were you as bad as you thought?

    I think you should make an appointment with your doctor, this isn't normal.
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    jayandtiffsjayandtiffs member
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    edited August 2013
    I know it isn't normal, I was hoping someone who had a similar situation would answer. Thanks, though.
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    misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
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    I don't think this is normal, either. I suggest talking to someone about it. 

    As for a memorial for your mother, I would do something unspoken, like wear her earrings or something. Anything too forward will end up upsetting you or other guests. You wedding should be a celebration and I'm sure she wouldn't want you upset. 

    Andplusalso, there's no such thing as a "perfect day," so letting go of that idea would definitely help me. 

    Good luck!
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    GypsyWife_GypsyWife_ member
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    Once in a while I tear up when i think of me and my hubby having our first slow dance to our song. We've been married for 8 years and never slow danced together. I also sometimes tear up when I think of exchanging vows. But I don't ball or cry really.
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    HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
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    Ditto PPs. This isn't normal, and you should probably talk to someone. I get a little misty-eyed thinking of walking down the aisle to FI, or dancing with my dad, but not full-on crying -- and I'm a pretty emotional person, too!

    Stop planning the "perfect day" -- it doesn't exist, SOMETHING will go wrong, and the more you hope and strive for perfection, the more upset you'll be when (and it's a WHEN not an IF, because something will go wrong, trust me) something goes wrong.

    If you're this emotional now, you really need to think about NOT having the officiant mention your mother; it will likely set you off and you'll be even more of a mess.

    You seem to be putting a lot of work and time and effort into what is, ultimately, ONE DAY -- focus on all the years you'll have of marriage, not the one day of your wedding. 
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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    jayandtiffsjayandtiffs member
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    Thanks all. I have accepted that this is not normal. I will figure out what is wrong with me. Thanks again.
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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
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    I was in a similar situation and was helped by a MD and a therapist. Please do call.
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    Simply FatedSimply Fated member
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    jayandtiffs said:

    Thanks all. I have accepted that this is not normal. I will figure out what is wrong with me. Thanks again.

    I strongly urge you to let someone help you figure this out.
    Being "not normal" is okay. We're all sometimes "not normal."
    Menstruation cycles, lack of daylight, family problems, work stress, even a change in diet can make our moods go out of whack. Something is going on that is making you cry, even if they are "tears of happiness." Yes, being "too happy" is a thing. Crying is a perfectly natural reaction to something making you happy or sad, but crying several days consecutively without being able to pinpoint why needs more attention.
    image
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    FutureMrsJohnDuckFutureMrsJohnDuck
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    It's COMPLETELY normal! I, too, am an emotional person. Hallmark commericials, FB posts about rescue animals, romantic songs, all these things make me tear up. My wedding is two weeks away from today (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and I am literally an emotional wreck. Whenever I look at my inspiration boards, imagine walking down the aisle, dancing with my dad, dancing with my new husband, getting to spend the rest of my life with him in general, etc, etc, etc-- I cry! I feel like the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.

    However, I was crying so much at every little thing all last month that I thought I was pregnant. Even my period was late, so I saw my doctor and she said it was most likely just a result of my estrogen levels soaring through the roof at this special time in my life. So try to keep yourself in balance because it can even affect your body.

    But, long story short, stop listening to everyone tell you it's not normal. Everyone is different. Just let yourself enjoy this amazing journey and don't hold back the tears when you're feeling especially overjoyed. <3

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    jayandtiffsjayandtiffs member
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    Thanks so much :) I have really felt stupid and embarrassed ever since posting this and you made me feel so much better.
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    Simply FatedSimply Fated member
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    jayandtiffs said:

    Thanks so much :) I have really felt stupid and embarrassed ever since posting this and you made me feel so much better.

    Why would you feel stupid or embarrassed? Unless you were crying at the end of Schindlers's List because you were rooting for the Nazis or you were crying because they stopped playing reruns of The Power Rangers, I'm pretty sure yoy have nothing to feel stupid or embarrassed about.

    We all cry, it's just the sudden crying that is worrysome.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    To the ladies that have said there is no such thing as a "perfect day": IMO, and this may stir up some crap, but, I want to say it.

    My wedding day will be 100% perfect as long as one thing happens: we end the day as husband & wife. If everything else we have planned works out, then hooray! +1's all around.
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    kefryarkefryar member
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    If you're on an intense diet, THAT is probably why you are crying all the time. Severe caloric restriction can make your body do crazy things.

     

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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    It sounds like you're experiencing a ton of emotions along with physical changes (diet, exercise). Even positive events in your life contribute to stress. One year, I got engaged, started a new/better job, bought a better house, moved, and planned a wedding. They were all really positive events, but it was VERY stressful and I was more emotional than normal because of it.

    If you are crying all the time - even by just writing about your wedding - I would see a psychologist/doctor so you can talk through some stuff. I would do it sooner than later so that you can use the full 9 months to sort these things out and hopefully be a little more relaxing come aisle time.
    *********************************************************************************

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    emmyg65emmyg65 member
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    There's not enough in your post for me to say if you're "normal" or "not normal," but if you feel like something is off, then yeah, you should talk to your doctor. And others have great advice here about taking it easy during planning and not pinning too much on the one day of your wedding.

    I'd add that both my husband and I are very emotional people who cry easily. We'd often tear up thinking about our wedding day during the planning. And we bawled like babies during our ceremony. Like straight up ugly-crying at points. It was okay because that's just who we are. (Plus, everyone else cried too. We had a Quaker ceremony and it was very emotional.) Invest in some tissues and waterproof makeup and don't sweat it.
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    FutureMrsJohnDuckFutureMrsJohnDuck
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    You are so welcome.
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    FutureMrsJohnDuckFutureMrsJohnDuck
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    jayandtiffs said:
    Thanks so much :) I have really felt stupid and embarrassed ever since posting this and you made me feel so much better.
    You are so welcome. (sorry for the double post. meant to quote you in the original reply!)
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    buckwedding13buckwedding13 member
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    I've been the same way. I cry over everything. Watching my FI play with the kids, songs that make me think of him, telling my kids I love them, thinking about our wedding day, our future, the list goes on and on. I am so overwhelmed with happiness right now. A year ago I would have never pictured my life as it is today. This is how I always thought love and a family should be and it overjoys my heart.

    I have had some HUGE changes in the last year though, including giving birth a couple months ago, so I know my hormones are still kind of wacky from that :)
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    hholmes6hholmes6 member
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    Personally, I think it is normal. I don't know why people think it isn't normal to get teary-eyed cause you're happy. That's a normal thing to do. I mean, different people are different, you know?

    I often get teary-eyed myself.

    I'm not always an emotional person. It takes a lot to make me really get teary-eyed. So I know that when I'm moved to tears over something, it's a big deal.

    I've been with my fiance for almost 4 years, however, we've known each other our entire lives. So I am very happy. This is kind of a big deal.

    For me, getting married will be a lot of firsts. I've never lived away from home. I've never lived with someone besides my family. I've never had sex. I've never had to completely 100% manage my own finances. I've never owned a house. I've never had to live on a budget. So getting married for me is an exciting yet scary experience. I'm happy and nervous all in one.

    I think it's okay to get emotional. (I think it's weird if you don't get emotional!!)

    But hey, what do I know. ;)
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