I live about 5 hours from my family and friends, in FI's hometown, with his parents (temporarily because we're waiting for a place to open up for us). I have no friends here, and I have no family here. I miss my mom. I miss my friends and the rest of my family too, but I really, really miss my mom.
I didn't leave home until I was 26, and even once I did, I saw my mom at least once a week, and spoke to her on the phone 3-4 times a week. Then we moved away. Now I Skype with her about once a week, sometimes supplemented with a phone call, but we're both busier now than before and there isn't a lot of time to talk about things anymore. Every time I've tried to get in touch with her lately, she's been busy, and I don't want to pester her because she's dealing with a lot at the moment at work.
I've been missing my mom since we moved here, but even more now that I'm engaged. I guess I always imagined that my mom would be planning with me. I want to share this with her...
A little while ago, I fell in love with a Mori Lee dress, which I have no hope of affording (being in South Africa, import and customs fees etc). This morning I was at the fabric shop so I thought I'd browse through the pattern books and see what's available. I'm glad I did, because I found a pattern that has the same silhouette and overall feel as the Mori Lee but is also slightly less glam and far more appropriate for a mid-morning wedding which (at this point) will be taking place in a church hall or someone's living room. I was bursting to share it with my mom, and I couldn't because she was working. I messaged a link through to her, she took a look while she was on break, messaged me back, and said we'd Skype tomorrow. I'm just totally underwhelmed, and totally overwhelmed, at the same time.
I know I probably sound like a brat, and maybe I am, but my mom is my best friend. Aside from FI, no one's opinion matters more than hers. And FI pretty much doesn't care what plans I make - I run them by him anyway, but he trusts my judgment. Which is nice, in some ways, but also really frustrating because I am only one person and am totally fallible...
I'm not sure what I'm trying to achieve with this post. I think I just need to vent.
Re: Feeling pretty down
I'm friendly with his mom, and with his sister. Unfortunately his sister is even further away than my family, and the rest of his family is overseas.
I did have a chat with the owner of our favourite restaurant this morning. She's fairly young, and we get along quite well. She's fairly excited about the wedding plans. So that's good. But still, not my mom...
FI and I are going back "home" for 5 days at the end of the month, and I plan on spending as much time as possible with my mom then. Hopefully I'll feel better then.
I'm sure that part of why I'm down is also that I don't have a final budget, and I don't have a date, so I can't actually narrow things down yet. I don't even know whether we're getting married in spring or winter at this point, and that won't be figured out until after we talk to the priest, which won't happen until November or later.
Anyway, thanks for all the kind words, ladies!