Time between Ceremony & Reception

Re: Time between Ceremony & Reception

• Maggie0829 member

  

  September 2013

  You should not have a gap.  You either need to move your reception forward to start immediately after your ceremony ends or you should move your ceremony back so that it starts at 5 (if it is an hour ceremony) and ends right before the reception is set to start.

  
  

  Gaps are rude and unless you plan on hosting a 2 hour cocktail hour you need to adjust your timing.

  
  

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• Liatris2010 mod

  

  September 2013

  You can move up the reception to 4 or 4:30, depending on the length of the ceremony and the distance between ceremony and reception. Otherwise, you can move the ceremony time back. Either way, eliminate the gap. The reception thanks the guests for coming to the ceremony. You shouldn't leave people milling about in their dress clothes waiting for their thank you.
  

  

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• banana468 member

  

  September 2013

  Can you move the ceremony to 4PM and then have a receiving line?   That will cut the gap down to a few minutes.

  
  

  Or host tea/coffee/lemonade and tea sandwiches before the 6 PM reception begins. 

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• NYCMercedes member

  

  September 2013

  You cannot have a gap. Posters have given you great ideas.

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• snoopycac member

  

  September 2013

  I would also suggest moving the ceremony up.
  

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• Majelin86 member

  

  September 2013

  We have the gap in between (approx. 2 & 1/2 hrs between end of ceremony & beginning of reception). We included the city website on our 'Info' cards that we sent out with the invitations - the website lists lots of fun things to do in the city (lots of which are inexpensive or free). My family & my fiancé's family have also graciously offered for family members from out of town to come to their houses in between the ceremony & reception to have a couple drinks & some snacks (which we will pay for). Some of our guests are staying at the hotel where we are getting married too, so they can always go back to their rooms if they want.

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• artbyallie mod

  

  September 2013

  Majelin86 said: We have the gap in between (approx. 2 & 1/2 hrs between end of ceremony & beginning of reception). We included the city website on our 'Info' cards that we sent out with the invitations - the website lists lots of fun things to do in the city (lots of which are inexpensive or free). My family & my fiancé's family have also graciously offered for family members from out of town to come to their houses in between the ceremony & reception to have a couple drinks & some snacks (which we will pay for). Some of our guests are staying at the hotel where we are getting married too, so they can always go back to their rooms if they want. No. This does not make it okay. Your guests are just that, guests, and should not be expected to entertain themselves for two hours. It is rude to have a gap.

  

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• Majelin86 member

  

  September 2013

  artbyallie said:

  Majelin86 said:

  We have the gap in between (approx. 2 & 1/2 hrs between end of ceremony & beginning of reception). We included the city website on our 'Info' cards that we sent out with the invitations - the website lists lots of fun things to do in the city (lots of which are inexpensive or free). My family & my fiancé's family have also graciously offered for family members from out of town to come to their houses in between the ceremony & reception to have a couple drinks & some snacks (which we will pay for). Some of our guests are staying at the hotel where we are getting married too, so they can always go back to their rooms if they want.

  No. This does not make it okay. Your guests are just that, guests, and should not be expected to entertain themselves for two hours. It is rude to have a gap.
  Whoa there. My wedding is in less than a month, so it can't be changed, the guests will just have to deal with entertaining themselves for under 3 hours. This is how all of the weddings are done where I'm from. I've never seen it any other way.

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• banana468 member

  

  September 2013

  Majelin86 said:

  show previous quotes

  
  

  artbyallie said:

  
  

  
  Majelin86 said:

  
  

  We have the gap in between (approx. 2 & 1/2 hrs between end of ceremony & beginning of reception). We included the city website on our 'Info' cards that we sent out with the invitations - the website lists lots of fun things to do in the city (lots of which are inexpensive or free). My family & my fiancé's family have also graciously offered for family members from out of town to come to their houses in between the ceremony & reception to have a couple drinks & some snacks (which we will pay for). Some of our guests are staying at the hotel where we are getting married too, so they can always go back to their rooms if they want.

  
  

  No. This does not make it okay. Your guests are just that, guests, and should not be expected to entertain themselves for two hours. It is rude to have a gap.
  
  
  
  Whoa there. My wedding is in less than a month, so it can't be changed, the guests will just have to deal with entertaining themselves for under 3 hours. This is how all of the weddings are done where I'm from. I've never seen it any other way.
  
  It's quite possible that it's a rude regional norm.
  
  If your families open their homes up to all guests, then they're at least hosted. A list of things to do is sucky.

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• Majelin86 member

  

  September 2013

  A 'rude regional norm'? I think people on this forum are just a little arrogant... And I'm from Canada where we're generally nice people - we aren't trying to be rude, that's just how it is. My friends and I actually enjoy the gap sometimes because we get together in between and have drinks at someone's house or hotel room usually, then go for dinner at the reception. That's just how it always is here...nobody has ever thought it's rude. And for people who don't want to do pictures before the wedding - who want that 'wow' moment when they first see their groom and the groom first sees them walking down the aisle - it's really unavoidable.

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• banana468 member

  

  September 2013

  Majelin86 said:

  A 'rude regional norm'? I think people on this forum are just a little arrogant... And I'm from Canada where we're generally nice people - we aren't trying to be rude, that's just how it is. My friends and I actually enjoy the gap sometimes because we get together in between and have drinks at someone's house or hotel room usually, then go for dinner at the reception. That's just how it always is here...nobody has ever thought it's rude. And for people who don't want to do pictures before the wedding - who want that 'wow' moment when they first see their groom and the groom first sees them walking down the aisle - it's really unavoidable.

  I didn't see my husband until I walked down the aisle. We didn't have a gap and we do have over 1500 photos from the big day. It's avoidable.
  
  There may be norms that are completely inappropriate. Cash bars and dollar dances are the first two that come to mind. Many may like them and may be fine with the concept but that doesn't make them any less inappropriate.

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• Majelin86 member

  

  September 2013

  banana468 said:

  show previous quotes

  A 'rude regional norm'? I think people on this forum are just a little arrogant... And I'm from Canada where we're generally nice people - we aren't trying to be rude, that's just how it is. My friends and I actually enjoy the gap sometimes because we get together in between and have drinks at someone's house or hotel room usually, then go for dinner at the reception. That's just how it always is here...nobody has ever thought it's rude. And for people who don't want to do pictures before the wedding - who want that 'wow' moment when they first see their groom and the groom first sees them walking down the aisle - it's really unavoidable.

  I didn't see my husband until I walked down the aisle. We didn't have a gap and we do have over 1500 photos from the big day. It's avoidable. There may be norms that are completely inappropriate. Cash bars and dollar dances are the first two that come to mind. Many may like them and may be fine with the concept but that doesn't make them any less inappropriate.

  
  When did you do your pictures then?

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  September 2013

  I am with Banana on this one.  My H and I did not see each other before the ceremony, we didn't have a gap and were still given 1000 pictures from our wedding day.

  
  

  As for when pictures were taken, we had a few family pictures taken before the ceremony but the large chunk of pictures were taken during cocktail hour that occurred between the end of our ceremony and before we were introduced into the reception.  And then of course we had a large amount of pictures taken during the ceremony and the reception.

  
  

  Just because things are the norm in your area does not mean that they aren't rude or that some people in your area, even though used to it, still don't find it rude.

  
  

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• artbyallie mod

  

  September 2013

  It is absolutely not 'unavoidable' to have a gap. H and I didn't see each other beforehand either and didn't have one. The guests went straight to our lunch reception while we finished pictures. It is 100% a choice to have a gap, and it's a rude choice.

  
  

  Also, we have a number of Canadian posters, and I'm pretty sure gaps are not a Canadian thing. If anything, it seems to be a Catholic thing wherein the church won't allow a ceremony later in the day. But in that case, it's a choice to have an evening wedding after an earlier ceremony that makes the bride and groom rude.

  

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• banana468 member

  

  September 2013

  Majelin86 said:

  show previous quotes

  
  

  banana468 said:

  
  

  Majelin86 said:

  A 'rude regional norm'? I think people on this forum are just a little arrogant... And I'm from Canada where we're generally nice people - we aren't trying to be rude, that's just how it is. My friends and I actually enjoy the gap sometimes because we get together in between and have drinks at someone's house or hotel room usually, then go for dinner at the reception. That's just how it always is here...nobody has ever thought it's rude. And for people who don't want to do pictures before the wedding - who want that 'wow' moment when they first see their groom and the groom first sees them walking down the aisle - it's really unavoidable.

  I didn't see my husband until I walked down the aisle. We didn't have a gap and we do have over 1500 photos from the big day. It's avoidable.
  
  There may be norms that are completely inappropriate. Cash bars and dollar dances are the first two that come to mind. Many may like them and may be fine with the concept but that doesn't make them any less inappropriate.

  
  

  
  When did you do your pictures then?
  
  After the ceremony and after dinner. We ate first and did outside BP shots for about 20 minutes.
  
  A good photographer doesn't need 3 hours.
  
  

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• Liatris2010 mod

  

  September 2013

  Majelin86 said:

  A 'rude regional norm'? I think people on this forum are just a little arrogant... And I'm from Canada where we're generally nice people - we aren't trying to be rude, that's just how it is. My friends and I actually enjoy the gap sometimes because we get together in between and have drinks at someone's house or hotel room usually, then go for dinner at the reception. That's just how it always is here...nobody has ever thought it's rude. And for people who don't want to do pictures before the wedding - who want that 'wow' moment when they first see their groom and the groom first sees them walking down the aisle - it's really unavoidable.

  So advocating that brides host their guests properly is arrogant, but making your guests wait around for you for 2.5 hours while you take pictures isn't? Nothing says, "Your time isn't as important as mine" quite like inviting people to an event, and then leaving them without refreshments or entertainment for hours while you ham it up for the camera.
  

  

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• Majelin86 member

  

  September 2013

  We are doing 2 locations for pictures and have large families. So by the time the whole family gets to the first location (the family is only coming to the 1st location) it could take a few minutes. We wanted to leave enough time for a few family photos, wedding party photos and then a few photos of just me & my groom. This is only happening once in my life & I wanted to have nice pics to remember it by. I don't want them to be rushed. Our venue told us that people usually have 30min 'cocktail hours', so we just went with that. So I guess technically guests are only left for 2 hours. Pretty sure guests will be ok with it (they all were fine with it at my fiancé's brother's wedding & all other weddings I've been to), and if they're not, oh well, then don't come.

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• grumbledore member

  

  September 2013

  Majelin86 said:

  We have the gap in between (approx. 2 & 1/2 hrs between end of ceremony & beginning of reception). We included the city website on our 'Info' cards that we sent out with the invitations - the website lists lots of fun things to do in the city (lots of which are inexpensive or free). My family & my fiancé's family have also graciously offered for family members from out of town to come to their houses in between the ceremony & reception to have a couple drinks & some snacks (which we will pay for). Some of our guests are staying at the hotel where we are getting married too, so they can always go back to their rooms if they want.

  This is not polite. OP, pps have given good advice. Host your guests, start to finish.

  
  

  

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• grumbledore member

  

  September 2013

  Majelin86 said:

  We are doing 2 locations for pictures and have large families. So by the time the whole family gets to the first location (the family is only coming to the 1st location) it could take a few minutes. We wanted to leave enough time for a few family photos, wedding party photos and then a few photos of just me & my groom. This is only happening once in my life & I wanted to have nice pics to remember it by. I don't want them to be rushed. Our venue told us that people usually have 30min 'cocktail hours', so we just went with that. So I guess technically guests are only left for 2 hours. Pretty sure guests will be ok with it (they all were fine with it at my fiancé's brother's wedding & all other weddings I've been to), and if they're not, oh well, then don't come.

  If you care so little about your guests, why invite them at all? Hopefully they are aware of your contempt for them.
  

  
  

  

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• Dreamergirl8812 member

  

  September 2013

  Majelin86 said:

  We are doing 2 locations for pictures and have large families. So by the time the whole family gets to the first location (the family is only coming to the 1st location) it could take a few minutes. We wanted to leave enough time for a few family photos, wedding party photos and then a few photos of just me & my groom. This is only happening once in my life & I wanted to have nice pics to remember it by. I don't want them to be rushed. Our venue told us that people usually have 30min 'cocktail hours', so we just went with that. So I guess technically guests are only left for 2 hours. Pretty sure guests will be ok with it (they all were fine with it at my fiancé's brother's wedding & all other weddings I've been to), and if they're not, oh well, then don't come.

  Oh. Well as long as you want tons of pictures of yourself...
  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  

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• Majelin86 member

  

  September 2013

  I'm just saying if they don't like the wait in between then they have the option of not coming. I obviously would like if all of the people we've invited were able to come because we obviously care enough about them that we invited them and want them to be there to celebrate with us. I just think people get way too offended over little things. And I don't want "tons of pictures" of myself...it just takes some time to get to each location and therefore that's time lost from pictures, so we may not have as long as we think for them (by the time we get there & get family organized, then get wedding party organized, drive to 2nd location, drive back to the hotel). I definitely would like all of my guests to come, but they see on the invitation that there will be a gap, so if they would like they can choose not to attend if they think we're being rude by having that. That's alllll I'm trying to say.

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• banana468 member

  

  September 2013

  Majelin86 said:

  I'm just saying if they don't like the wait in between then they have the option of not coming. I obviously would like if all of the people we've invited were able to come because we obviously care enough about them that we invited them and want them to be there to celebrate with us. I just think people get way too offended over little things. And I don't want "tons of pictures" of myself...it just takes some time to get to each location and therefore that's time lost from pictures, so we may not have as long as we think for them (by the time we get there & get family organized, then get wedding party organized, drive to 2nd location, drive back to the hotel). I definitely would like all of my guests to come, but they see on the invitation that there will be a gap, so if they would like they can choose not to attend if they think we're being rude by having that. That's alllll I'm trying to say.

  And we are saying that you have time to fix this and still be polite. Your guests should be more important than photos.

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• Majelin86 member

  

  September 2013

  banana468 said:

  show previous quotes

  I'm just saying if they don't like the wait in between then they have the option of not coming. I obviously would like if all of the people we've invited were able to come because we obviously care enough about them that we invited them and want them to be there to celebrate with us. I just think people get way too offended over little things. And I don't want "tons of pictures" of myself...it just takes some time to get to each location and therefore that's time lost from pictures, so we may not have as long as we think for them (by the time we get there & get family organized, then get wedding party organized, drive to 2nd location, drive back to the hotel). I definitely would like all of my guests to come, but they see on the invitation that there will be a gap, so if they would like they can choose not to attend if they think we're being rude by having that. That's alllll I'm trying to say.

  And we are saying that you have time to fix this and still be polite. Your guests should be more important than photos.

  
  Nope, wedding is less than a month away. And I'm not interested in 'fixing this' anyway. And I'm not saying anything else about this because it's not changing, and I'm tired of the etiquette police here chewing me out. Just because someone's wedding is different than your wedding, or your idea of a perfect wedding, it doesn't mean it's wrong.

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• artbyallie mod

  

  September 2013

  That's nice. Good to know it's more important to you to do photoshoots at multiple locations while your guests sit around bored in formalwear. You must be such a charming person.

  

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• banana468 member

  

  September 2013

  Majelin86 said:

  show previous quotes

  
  

  banana468 said:

  
  

  Majelin86 said:

  I'm just saying if they don't like the wait in between then they have the option of not coming. I obviously would like if all of the people we've invited were able to come because we obviously care enough about them that we invited them and want them to be there to celebrate with us. I just think people get way too offended over little things. And I don't want "tons of pictures" of myself...it just takes some time to get to each location and therefore that's time lost from pictures, so we may not have as long as we think for them (by the time we get there & get family organized, then get wedding party organized, drive to 2nd location, drive back to the hotel). I definitely would like all of my guests to come, but they see on the invitation that there will be a gap, so if they would like they can choose not to attend if they think we're being rude by having that. That's alllll I'm trying to say.

  And we are saying that you have time to fix this and still be polite. Your guests should be more important than photos.

  
  

  
  Nope, wedding is less than a month away. And I'm not interested in 'fixing this' anyway. And I'm not saying anything else about this because it's not changing, and I'm tired of the etiquette police here chewing me out. Just because someone's wedding is different than your wedding, or your idea of a perfect wedding, it doesn't mean it's wrong.
  
  Not hosting your guests while you take photos IS wrong.
  

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• grumbledore member

  

  September 2013

  Majelin86 said:

  show previous quotes

  banana468 said:

  I'm just saying if they don't like the wait in between then they have the option of not coming. I obviously would like if all of the people we've invited were able to come because we obviously care enough about them that we invited them and want them to be there to celebrate with us. I just think people get way too offended over little things. And I don't want "tons of pictures" of myself...it just takes some time to get to each location and therefore that's time lost from pictures, so we may not have as long as we think for them (by the time we get there & get family organized, then get wedding party organized, drive to 2nd location, drive back to the hotel). I definitely would like all of my guests to come, but they see on the invitation that there will be a gap, so if they would like they can choose not to attend if they think we're being rude by having that. That's alllll I'm trying to say.

  And we are saying that you have time to fix this and still be polite. Your guests should be more important than photos.

  
  Nope, wedding is less than a month away. And I'm not interested in 'fixing this' anyway. And I'm not saying anything else about this because it's not changing, and I'm tired of the etiquette police here chewing me out. Just because someone's wedding is different than your wedding, or your idea of a perfect wedding, it doesn't mean it's wrong.

  Treating your guests like you don't care about their comfort is wrong.  You can still do it, but very few people are going to tell you it's a good idea.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  September 2013

  I just want to say @Majelin86 that H and I got a ton of pictures of us (and our families) that are amazing done at one location (outside of the venue) in one hour.  

  
  

  So you having to go to two different locations to get a crap ton of pictures done is a choice that you are making and you are basically putting your pretty pictures that in the end you will probably only get 3-4 printed and then look at the album once maybe a year over the comfort of your guests.

  
  

  All I have to say is...

  
  

  
  

  **sarcasm intended**

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• SKPM member

  

  September 2013

  Yeah, your need to have multiple locations that are driving distance away from each other is coming at the expense of your guests' comfort and consideration. We did all of our together photos during cocktail hour, while guests were hosted, because we selected a venue that was we were happy with as our backdrop. I would be annoyed to sit around in formal wear for 2-3 hours while you take photos. I would likely end up either skipping the ceremony or reception, or going to a bar in between and arriving to your reception fairly inebriated.
  
  As an aside, I never get the "it's a regional norm here" excuse. Does no one invite people from other regions to their weddings? I would have been mortified if my bridesmaid's boyfriend, my MIL's oldest/closest friends, or my cousins from across the country talked about me behind my back if they had been poorly hosted due to "regional norms". This is likely the biggest social function you will ever host -- why not make a point to do things right and treat your guests well?

  
  

  
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  September 2013

  My H didn't want to see me before the ceremony, so we only had after the ceremony to take photos. We hosted a cocktail hour at our reception venue. It was a non-issue. 

  
  

  The issue is when you invite someone to an event and you don't host them for the entire event. It's fine to have a HOSTED gap if you want to take some time to take photos. The issue is when the gap ISN'T hosted or it's prolonged for several hours. Hosted means refreshments. That's it. It's not hard, it's not "arrogant", it's not snobby. Put some chex mix, a veggie tray and bottles of water out and you can have a hosted gap for less than $100. If you can't afford that, I suggest you adjust your budget or adjust your priorities.

  *********************************************************************************

  
  

  

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• kkleigh10 member

  

  September 2013

  alisonmarie658 said:

  show previous quotes

  Majelin86 said:

  banana468 said:

  I'm just saying if they don't like the wait in between then they have the option of not coming. I obviously would like if all of the people we've invited were able to come because we obviously care enough about them that we invited them and want them to be there to celebrate with us. I just think people get way too offended over little things. And I don't want "tons of pictures" of myself...it just takes some time to get to each location and therefore that's time lost from pictures, so we may not have as long as we think for them (by the time we get there & get family organized, then get wedding party organized, drive to 2nd location, drive back to the hotel). I definitely would like all of my guests to come, but they see on the invitation that there will be a gap, so if they would like they can choose not to attend if they think we're being rude by having that. That's alllll I'm trying to say.

  And we are saying that you have time to fix this and still be polite. Your guests should be more important than photos.

  
  Nope, wedding is less than a month away. And I'm not interested in 'fixing this' anyway. And I'm not saying anything else about this because it's not changing, and I'm tired of the etiquette police here chewing me out. Just because someone's wedding is different than your wedding, or your idea of a perfect wedding, it doesn't mean it's wrong.

  Well aren't you a ray of sunshine this morning.

  
  

  The fact is you are being a very poor host for your guests and your guests will know it, talk about it behind your back, and skimp on your wedding present because of how rude you are being for the sake of your perfect wedding.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Holy CRAP you girls are mean. Who are you to judge anyone else's wedding? AlisonMarie658 - no wonder 56 people have already declined an invitation to your wedding...you sound like an out of control bridezilla! 

  
  

  I've been on this board for all of one day and can honestly say I'm never coming back. You girls are the WORST! 

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