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Is it ok for a bride to host her own wedding shower?

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Re: Is it ok for a bride to host her own wedding shower?

  • EMT22EMT22
    First Comment
    Every is so strongly against this!  What if I don't want a "wedding shower", just a "hen party", which is not really a party - I just want important women in my life to get together, go to a spa, have a nice meal and maybe dance in the evening.  I won't be expecting gifts, and frankly, i could totally do without the whole fuss, but I've been told I "have" to have a hen party, whatever format... 
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  • APDSS22APDSS22 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    EMT22 said:

    Every is so strongly against this!  What if I don't want a "wedding shower", just a "hen party", which is not really a party - I just want important women in my life to get together, go to a spa, have a nice meal and maybe dance in the evening.  I won't be expecting gifts, and frankly, i could totally do without the whole fuss, but I've been told I "have" to have a hen party, whatever format... 

    Then the party would be as a bridal luncheon with no gift giving expectations? I think that's what someone on the previous page said would be ok. Dunno how I feel about it since I'd probably bring a gift to something like that...why does someone feel so strongly that you have to have a party but are not offering to host it? I didn't have a shower and I'm still just as married btw.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    EMT22 said:
    Every is so strongly against this!  What if I don't want a "wedding shower", just a "hen party", which is not really a party - I just want important women in my life to get together, go to a spa, have a nice meal and maybe dance in the evening.  I won't be expecting gifts, and frankly, i could totally do without the whole fuss, but I've been told I "have" to have a hen party, whatever format... 
    If you want to get together with your close friends and hang out all day by going to the spa, having a nice dinner and go dancing at a bar that is fine.  But why, oh why do you have to give it a name? I go out with my girlfriends and we don't feel it necessary to label it.  We just go out and have a good time.

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  • button6004button6004 member
    1000 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    EMT22 said:

    Every is so strongly against this!  What if I don't want a "wedding shower", just a "hen party", which is not really a party - I just want important women in my life to get together, go to a spa, have a nice meal and maybe dance in the evening.  I won't be expecting gifts, and frankly, i could totally do without the whole fuss, but I've been told I "have" to have a hen party, whatever format... 

    I have no idea what a "hen party" is but who is paying for all of this?

    People have told me I "have" to have a bacherlorette party. I couldn't care less about having one, so I am not going to worry about whether it happens or not and I'm not going to try to host it myself if it doesn't.

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  • RainDancer218RainDancer218
    Fourth Anniversary First Comment
    A shower is a gift to the bride from her maids and/or family, not a right or entitlement. Last shower I attended was primarily planned and executed by the bride; I was pretty horrified and felt like I was being used for gifts. Not appreciated. A hen party might fly, depending on how you "advertise" it. I'm not sure that I would be able to tactfully convey the message that it's for fun and not for gifts without sounding offensive.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    EMT22 said:
    Every is so strongly against this!  What if I don't want a "wedding shower", just a "hen party", which is not really a party - I just want important women in my life to get together, go to a spa, have a nice meal and maybe dance in the evening.  I won't be expecting gifts, and frankly, i could totally do without the whole fuss, but I've been told I "have" to have a hen party, whatever format... 
    Who the heck said you couldn't just go out and have fun with your friends?

    And who said you had to have a hen party?
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  • lfk2013lfk2013 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    What everyone else said...no.  And asking for someone to throw you one comes across the same way as throwing one for yourself.  Did anyone express interest in throwing one for you (before you asked or said you wanted one)?
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    EMT22 said:
    Every is so strongly against this!  What if I don't want a "wedding shower", just a "hen party", which is not really a party - I just want important women in my life to get together, go to a spa, have a nice meal and maybe dance in the evening.  I won't be expecting gifts, and frankly, i could totally do without the whole fuss, but I've been told I "have" to have a hen party, whatever format... 
    It sounds like you want a bachlorette party.

    But the answer is still, no.  You cannot host pre-wedding parties that are meant to be in your honor, yourself; You cannot host your own engagement party, bridal shower, bachlorette party, Stag and Doe or whatever the hell it is, etc.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • NerdyLucyNerdyLucy member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Wedqueen12 said:
    I'm just wondering this in case none of my BM's or MOH cannot do it. I know it is not neccessary to have a wedding shower but everyone I know who has ever gotten married has had one....I feel very strongly about this one! 
    No.

    Officially hitched as of 10/25/13

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