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Friday Weddings Rude?

I'm just curious about this. My wedding is not on a Friday, however, I went to a Friday wedding in July, I'm going to one tomorrow and my brother is getting married next year on a Friday. I've heard a few different opinions about this.

Some say it's disrespectful to the guests, especially if it is far away. They think it is asking too much of your guests to take time off work (and for the rehearsal sometimes too) and expect them to drive far so they are also "forced" to stay in a hotel if it gets too late or if they are drinking.

Others say unless the guests are paying for the wedding, they should keep their mouths shut and go. It's cheaper to get married on a Friday and some people are on a budget.

 

Hmm.. I kind of see both sides. I'm not sure what to think. Anyone else have thoughts on this or had people complain?

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Re: Friday Weddings Rude?

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I don't think that it's rude. I'd say if I were a Friday bride that I'd expect a higher-than-average rate of declines, but it's not rude in and of itself to get married on a Friday.
    MairePoppywajohnson09PrettyGirlLost
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ditto Keptin Stitches.  I don't find them rude, but do expect a higher decline rate for those who can't miss work.  

  • Nope, not rude.

    Just slightly inconvenient...much like weddings on holiday weekends.

    lizybeff
  • good points! I don't really care either way.. but I've heard people complain time and time again. I never really gave it much thought but... I guess some people will just complain no matter what, right?
  • ^ lol I'm guilty. We are getting married Sunday of Memorial Weekend.
  • I'm just curious about this. My wedding is not on a Friday, however, I went to a Friday wedding in July, I'm going to one tomorrow and my brother is getting married next year on a Friday. I've heard a few different opinions about this.

    Some say it's disrespectful to the guests, especially if it is far away. They think it is asking too much of your guests to take time off work (and for the rehearsal sometimes too) and expect them to drive far so they are also "forced" to stay in a hotel if it gets too late or if they are drinking.

    Others say unless the guests are paying for the wedding, they should keep their mouths shut and go. It's cheaper to get married on a Friday and some people are on a budget. 

    Hmm.. I kind of see both sides. I'm not sure what to think. Anyone else have thoughts on this or had people complain?

    Unless the person is really important to me, I would keep my mouth shut and decline.
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    [Deleted User]lizybeffPrettyGirlLost
  • Rude? No. Horribly inconvienent and increasing my likelihood of not attending? Yes.
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    lizybeff[Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • I'm having a Friday wedding. I don't think it's rude, and I didn't have more declines because of it. Even before I decided on that day, I never thought of it being an inconvience.



    IEandJE
  • I'm having a Friday wedding. We made sure the date worked for our VIPs and booked it. If a high number of people decline then so be it. 
  • LuvBird29 said:
    I'm having a Friday wedding. I don't think it's rude, and I didn't have more declines because of it. Even before I decided on that day, I never thought of it being an inconvience.


    It's an inconvenience because most people work on Fridays, have to pick up the kids from school, shower/change, get the kids to the baby sitter, and still hope to get to your wedding on time.

    Most people (at least in the US) just don't have enough vacation time to take off from work for Friday weddings, that's all.

    PrettyGirlLost
  • Not rude. Plenty of people also work weekends - it's not all 9 - 5, M - F. Just make sure it'll work for your VIPs and expect a higher decline rate.




  • I don't think Friday night, or Sunday night, or whatever night, weddings are rude. I think they lead to higher-than-average decline rates, depending on the travel distance for people who are invited, and therefore I think they are inconvenient.

    But an invitation is not a summons; people are free to decline the invitation because they can't/don't want to get time off work, don't want to travel, etc. 
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • I think this is a "know your circle" thing.  If I look at my tentative guest list, less than a quarter of them work a traditional M-F job.  Many work weekends, are self-employed, or are retired.  Neither my FI or I works a "normal" schedule.  For us, any night of the week would inconvenience about the same number of people.

    We're making sure to work around our parents, but beyond that there is no way to choose a date that will please everyone, even with a list of less than 50 guests.  Everyone has their own schedule and life.
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    gailpete
  • itzMS said:
    LuvBird29 said:
    I'm having a Friday wedding. I don't think it's rude, and I didn't have more declines because of it. Even before I decided on that day, I never thought of it being an inconvience.


    It's an inconvenience because most people work on Fridays, have to pick up the kids from school, shower/change, get the kids to the baby sitter, and still hope to get to your wedding on time.

    Most people (at least in the US) just don't have enough vacation time to take off from work for Friday weddings, that's all.

    Oh I can understand why some may consider it an inconvenience, but really, any event on any day can be considered an inconvenience as well.



    Chan245
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I don't think that they are rude but it is quite possible for not all of the guests to be able to come or come on time.
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  • doeydo said:
    I don't think that they are rude but it is quite possible for not all of the guests to be able to come or come on time.
    How is that different from any other day you choose?
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    SKPM
  • cap816 said:
    cap816 said:
    I find Friday wedding to be super inconsiderate.  Unless you're my best friend or brother, I'll most likely going to skip the ceremony (unless it's local and scheduled for after 7:00 p.m.) and just show up for the reception.
    Saturday weddings are just as inconvenient to people who work in restaurants, theaters, grocery stores, and retail stores.  Heck, I spent four years in a bakery doing wedding cakes.  I never got weekends off unless I specifically took a day off.  Why is inconveniencing one group of people OK and inconveniencing people who work a M-F week "super inconsiderate"?
    Because those are the hours during which a majority of people work.  

    I am not going to take a vacation day for someone else's wedding.  If you regularly work weekends, I would expect for you to do the same for a Saturday or Sunday wedding.
    Could you show me stats showing that a majority of people work Monday through Friday?  I've never seen a grocery store, retail store, restaurant, or hotel closed on Saturday and Sunday.  MANY people have to work those days.  People who work weekdays aren't more important than people who have other schedules.
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    Dreamergirl8812Chan245
  • I don't find them "rude" exactly, but they are decidedly inconvenient.

    We are going to FIs cousins wedding on a Friday at the end of this month. Since we live on the other side of the country and lose time zone hours flying we always have to take Friday off to travel for weddings, and for a Friday wedding we have to take Thursday off as well. Since it's family, the couple may not miss us if we declined, but we would take flack on missing a major family event for a solid year, so there go 2 days of vacation. But to be clear, it's not the couple being rude, it's FIs family for guilt tripping us (my FMIL cried when we flew out on the 26th of December last year. It wasn't her intention, but made us feel like SHIT after I'd fought like hell to get that day off). If it was a friend we'd have declined and sent a gift.
  • KytchynWitcheKytchynWitche Ridin' the Zebra member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I don't think Friday weddings are rude, but I think it really depends on the people involved. It might be pushing it to have a 300+ guest list for a Friday daytime wedding. But if I was invited to a wedding on a Friday, I'd make a plan if I really cared about the people getting married. The vast majority of my jobs have required that I work weekends, and so I've had to take leave for a fair few weddings (and wedding-related events), but I never felt that the bride and groom were being inconsiderate by not having the wedding on a day that suited me, when clearly that date suited everyone in the family and bridal party.

    I'm planning a Friday morning wedding, which is also a destination wedding for the majority of our guests (my family, and our BP), BUT we have a guest list of less than 20 people. Everyone on our guest list is hugely important to us, and will not mind taking a day off or making the effort to make it. There are several people though (not counted in the 20) who we're sending invitations to despite knowing that they won't come because of the travel involved, ie my grandparents who are old and frail, and his family in the US who can't afford to fly out.

    And we don't do rehearsal dinners, or day-after breakfasts, or any of that kind of thing here (at least not as a rule, I'm sure there are couples who have done them), so it's really just a case of them having to show up for the wedding. In our case, seeing as they've already taken the day off of work, and we live in one of the most beautiful parts of the country, they can spend the rest of the weekend hiking or fishing or riding or whatever they want to do.
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  • FutureMrsN3312FutureMrsN3312 Dirty Jersey member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    If price is a concern I'd rather go to a wedding on a Friday night then a Sunday night.  I'd rather leave work a little early on Friday then come to work over tired on Monday. 
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    KytchynWitcheSKPMlizandmark2014PrettyGirlLost
  • cap816 said:
    cap816 said:
    I find Friday wedding to be super inconsiderate.  Unless you're my best friend or brother, I'll most likely going to skip the ceremony (unless it's local and scheduled for after 7:00 p.m.) and just show up for the reception.
    Saturday weddings are just as inconvenient to people who work in restaurants, theaters, grocery stores, and retail stores.  Heck, I spent four years in a bakery doing wedding cakes.  I never got weekends off unless I specifically took a day off.  Why is inconveniencing one group of people OK and inconveniencing people who work a M-F week "super inconsiderate"?
    Because those are the hours during which a majority of people work.  

    I am not going to take a vacation day for someone else's wedding.  If you regularly work weekends, I would expect for you to do the same for a Saturday or Sunday wedding.

    ETA:  Also, those who work in restaurants, theaters, grocery stores and retail stores can presumably ask for rescheduled hours during the week.  Those who work in the typical business or office setting cannot.
    This. When I was in college, I worked retail. If I had something to do, I could request to work different hours that day or to swap shifts with someone. You can't do that in a M-F 9-5 job - there's A LOT less flexibility. Saturday weddings WILL work for the M-F people and they CAN work for the atypical schedules. 

    Friday weddings are DEFINITELY inconvenient for the M-F people and there's no guarantee that they're convenient for the atypical schedule folks. 
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    lizybeffgrumbledorePrettyGirlLost
  • I think it completely depends on the situation. I'm not a 9-5er and I was invited to a Friday wedding 2 hours away. I really wanted to attend (and did) but I was irritated to have to miss my Friday night classes. If its a DW, I think it's rude since it's another day of work people will have to miss. Someone a long time ago posted about a DW Friday afternoon cake & punch reception and I'm not going to lie, I think it's super rude. It might not the technically against etiquette, but reaching. 

    lizybeffgrumbledore
  • Not rude at all.  An invitation is just that, an invitation.  It isn't a summons that requires guests to be there, no matter what.  I do, however, think that if someone is going to throw a Friday wedding they need to be prepared for the fact that it will prevent a bigger portion of their guest list from attending.  We opted against a Friday date at a venue we loved that was almost completely booked for the rest of this season for that very reason.
    PrettyGirlLost


  • But an invitation is not a summons; people are free to decline the invitation because they can't/don't want to get time off work, don't want to travel, etc. 
    Jinx.  This is what I get for not reading everything closely.  And for posting before I've had enough caffeine.
  • I think it's similar to a destination wedding. You have to make sure your nearest and dearest can make it, and everyone else is free to decline. Make a special effort to visit people who felt bad about missing it though.
  • I'm having my wedding on a friday, and I don't think it's rude. Everyone is getting save the dates early. If they decide to come Awesome, if not, it's totally fine and I'm okay with it. Remember what you are getting married for in the first place, it's about you and your love and the day you spend together. The day of the week will not matter and people do know it's not to please others. Of course, You want everyone to be happy and celebrate it with you, but you if you can save a good $10,000 on your own wedding and change the weekend day, do it girl.  

  • I agree with PPs that say know your crowd.  DD's wedding was on a Friday night in July.  The majority of guests were in situations (teachers, students, retired, etc) where work was not an issue.  Of 150 people that accepted (of 180 invites) only 2 missed the ceremony due to work, they did make it to the reception, which was great. Had the majority of guests been impacted on availability due to work schedules, we likely would have considered Saturday.  Most of the guests commented that they liked the Friday wedding, since it left them the rest of the weekend to do what they wanted.
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