Wedding Reception Forum

Time between Ceremony & Reception

2

Re: Time between Ceremony & Reception

  • @alisonmarie658 Personal attacks result in warnings. 5 warnings = a permanent ban.

  • My H didn't want to see me before the ceremony, so we only had after the ceremony to take photos. We hosted a cocktail hour at our reception venue. It was a non-issue. 

    The issue is when you invite someone to an event and you don't host them for the entire event. It's fine to have a HOSTED gap if you want to take some time to take photos. The issue is when the gap ISN'T hosted or it's prolonged for several hours. Hosted means refreshments. That's it. It's not hard, it's not "arrogant", it's not snobby. Put some chex mix, a veggie tray and bottles of water out and you can have a hosted gap for less than $100. If you can't afford that, I suggest you adjust your budget or adjust your priorities.

    Did people miss the post where I said that my parents & my groom's parents have offered to have people at their houses in between the ceremony and reception where there will be snacks and refreshments?! At our expense obviously.

    And around the venue is not that nice for photos, it's just the outside of a hotel & it's next to a busy road, which is why we are going elsewhere for photos. We wanted some nice garden ones with our families and then some cool ones downtown in our city  with the wedding party where there are neat alleyways & graffiti on the walls and such. Kind of offbeat, but we like that style. I don't see the giant problem with that.

  • Majelin86 said:
    My H didn't want to see me before the ceremony, so we only had after the ceremony to take photos. We hosted a cocktail hour at our reception venue. It was a non-issue. 

    The issue is when you invite someone to an event and you don't host them for the entire event. It's fine to have a HOSTED gap if you want to take some time to take photos. The issue is when the gap ISN'T hosted or it's prolonged for several hours. Hosted means refreshments. That's it. It's not hard, it's not "arrogant", it's not snobby. Put some chex mix, a veggie tray and bottles of water out and you can have a hosted gap for less than $100. If you can't afford that, I suggest you adjust your budget or adjust your priorities.

    Did people miss the post where I said that my parents & my groom's parents have offered to have people at their houses in between the ceremony and reception where there will be snacks and refreshments?! At our expense obviously.

    And around the venue is not that nice for photos, it's just the outside of a hotel & it's next to a busy road, which is why we are going elsewhere for photos. We wanted some nice garden ones with our families and then some cool ones downtown in our city  with the wedding party where there are neat alleyways & graffiti on the walls and such. Kind of offbeat, but we like that style. I don't see the giant problem with that.

    You said it was open to family from out of town.  EVERYONE needs to be hosted.  Family from in town, friends, etc.
  • JoanE2012 said:
    Majelin86 said:
    My H didn't want to see me before the ceremony, so we only had after the ceremony to take photos. We hosted a cocktail hour at our reception venue. It was a non-issue. 

    The issue is when you invite someone to an event and you don't host them for the entire event. It's fine to have a HOSTED gap if you want to take some time to take photos. The issue is when the gap ISN'T hosted or it's prolonged for several hours. Hosted means refreshments. That's it. It's not hard, it's not "arrogant", it's not snobby. Put some chex mix, a veggie tray and bottles of water out and you can have a hosted gap for less than $100. If you can't afford that, I suggest you adjust your budget or adjust your priorities.

    Did people miss the post where I said that my parents & my groom's parents have offered to have people at their houses in between the ceremony and reception where there will be snacks and refreshments?! At our expense obviously.

    And around the venue is not that nice for photos, it's just the outside of a hotel & it's next to a busy road, which is why we are going elsewhere for photos. We wanted some nice garden ones with our families and then some cool ones downtown in our city  with the wedding party where there are neat alleyways & graffiti on the walls and such. Kind of offbeat, but we like that style. I don't see the giant problem with that.

    You said it was open to family from out of town.  EVERYONE needs to be hosted.  Family from in town, friends, etc.
    This is what I was going to point out. The friends who are staying in hotels and any local friends also need to be invited to the parents' houses if this is what is being hosted during the gap.
    image
  • @kkleigh10 -- you do get how ironic it is that you called me a bridezilla when we're telling people to not be bridezillas by being rude to their guests?

    Also insulting other posters is against the TOS you agreed to when you signed up for an account, so it will remain to be seen if you get a warning or not.

    Have a super day! :)

    kkleigh10 said:
    Majelin86 said:
    banana468 said:

    I'm just saying if they don't like the wait in between then they have the option of not coming. I obviously would like if all of the people we've invited were able to come because we obviously care enough about them that we invited them and want them to be there to celebrate with us. I just think people get way too offended over little things. And I don't want "tons of pictures" of myself...it just takes some time to get to each location and therefore that's time lost from pictures, so we may not have as long as we think for them (by the time we get there & get family organized, then get wedding party organized, drive to 2nd location, drive back to the hotel). I definitely would like all of my guests to come, but they see on the invitation that there will be a gap, so if they would like they can choose not to attend if they think we're being rude by having that. That's alllll I'm trying to say.

    And we are saying that you have time to fix this and still be polite. Your guests should be more important than photos.

    Nope, wedding is less than a month away. And I'm not interested in 'fixing this' anyway. And I'm not saying anything else about this because it's not changing, and I'm tired of the etiquette police here chewing me out. Just because someone's wedding is different than your wedding, or your idea of a perfect wedding, it doesn't mean it's wrong.
    Well aren't you a ray of sunshine this morning.

    The fact is you are being a very poor host for your guests and your guests will know it, talk about it behind your back, and skimp on your wedding present because of how rude you are being for the sake of your perfect wedding.

    image

    Holy CRAP you girls are mean. Who are you to judge anyone else's wedding? AlisonMarie658 - no wonder 56 people have already declined an invitation to your wedding...you sound like an out of control bridezilla! 

    I've been on this board for all of one day and can honestly say I'm never coming back. You girls are the WORST! 
    @knotporscha --- is this ban-worthy or no?


    kkleigh10 said:
    Majelin86 said:
    banana468 said:

    I'm just saying if they don't like the wait in between then they have the option of not coming. I obviously would like if all of the people we've invited were able to come because we obviously care enough about them that we invited them and want them to be there to celebrate with us. I just think people get way too offended over little things. And I don't want "tons of pictures" of myself...it just takes some time to get to each location and therefore that's time lost from pictures, so we may not have as long as we think for them (by the time we get there & get family organized, then get wedding party organized, drive to 2nd location, drive back to the hotel). I definitely would like all of my guests to come, but they see on the invitation that there will be a gap, so if they would like they can choose not to attend if they think we're being rude by having that. That's alllll I'm trying to say.

    And we are saying that you have time to fix this and still be polite. Your guests should be more important than photos.

    Nope, wedding is less than a month away. And I'm not interested in 'fixing this' anyway. And I'm not saying anything else about this because it's not changing, and I'm tired of the etiquette police here chewing me out. Just because someone's wedding is different than your wedding, or your idea of a perfect wedding, it doesn't mean it's wrong.
    Well aren't you a ray of sunshine this morning.

    The fact is you are being a very poor host for your guests and your guests will know it, talk about it behind your back, and skimp on your wedding present because of how rude you are being for the sake of your perfect wedding.

    image

    Holy CRAP you girls are mean. Who are you to judge anyone else's wedding? AlisonMarie658 - no wonder 56 people have already declined an invitation to your wedding...you sound like an out of control bridezilla! 

    I've been on this board for all of one day and can honestly say I'm never coming back. You girls are the WORST! 
    @knotporscha --- is this ban-worthy or no?

    Dear lord. You want me banned because I called out your RSVP count? You made it public. 
  • I think you got called out for attacking her character and not her response count. Character attacks are against the TOS.
  • @kkleigh10 - this is the second or third thread you have posted in that all you have done is call out posters for being mean and judgemental.

    If you think we are responding in such a mean manner then why don't you actually contribute some advice to the topic at hand in a manner you deem acceptable instead of just bashing other posters.

  • @Majelin86 - I still think this idea...Why not pick one spot for photos and then do a trash the dress/trash the tux photo shoot with your H at a later date in the downtown area?  That way you still get amazing pictures and you won't be rude to your guests...that I suggested in a post above is still a really good idea that you should consider.  I mean, it seems like pictures are important to you so just imagine the amazing pics that you and your H would get doing this.

  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2013
    @Majelin86 - I still think this idea...Why not pick one spot for photos and then do a trash the dress/trash the tux photo shoot with your H at a later date in the downtown area?  That way you still get amazing pictures and you won't be rude to your guests...that I suggested in a post above is still a really good idea that you should consider.  I mean, it seems like pictures are important to you so just imagine the amazing pics that you and your H would get doing this.
    I agree with this- no amount of hosting by your parents etc. can bridge a gap of over an hour/hour and a half. Your guests are there because YOU invited them, not your parents. You need to host them properly and that means no wedding gaps longer than a standard cocktail hour. If you want to have photos in different locations, do them another weekend.

     Side note, no one needs to have multiple locations for photos, especially at the comfort of your guests. At least admit that you are choosing to do this before you complain that it is out of your control. You might not see a giant problem with that, but when everyone on this board (who have no stake in your wedding) are telling you it is rude, maybe you should reevaluate. From your posts, you are acting very entitled. Don't use the offbeat excuse to be rude.

  • I just don't think you people understand that this is happening...it's down to 3 & and a half weeks before my wedding, it's not like I'm going to change it now - that's what I'm getting frustrated about. I just don't see why people keep commenting on it telling me it's rude & unnecessary & to change it when that's clearly not going to happen. I'm stressed out enough as it is!
  • My H didn't want to see me before the ceremony, so we only had after the ceremony to take photos. We hosted a cocktail hour at our reception venue. It was a non-issue. 

    The issue is when you invite someone to an event and you don't host them for the entire event. It's fine to have a HOSTED gap if you want to take some time to take photos. The issue is when the gap ISN'T hosted or it's prolonged for several hours. Hosted means refreshments. That's it. It's not hard, it's not "arrogant", it's not snobby. Put some chex mix, a veggie tray and bottles of water out and you can have a hosted gap for less than $100. If you can't afford that, I suggest you adjust your budget or adjust your priorities.
    100% Yes.
  • @majelin86 Now that this has been pointed out to yo
    Majelin86 said:
    I just don't think you people understand that this is happening...it's down to 3 & and a half weeks before my wedding, it's not like I'm going to change it now - that's what I'm getting frustrated about. I just don't see why people keep commenting on it telling me it's rude & unnecessary & to change it when that's clearly not going to happen. I'm stressed out enough as it is!

    you and your FI can't come up with a hospitality suite somewhere?
  • kkleigh10 said:
    Majelin86 said:
    banana468 said:

    I'm just saying if they don't like the wait in between then they have the option of not coming. I obviously would like if all of the people we've invited were able to come because we obviously care enough about them that we invited them and want them to be there to celebrate with us. I just think people get way too offended over little things. And I don't want "tons of pictures" of myself...it just takes some time to get to each location and therefore that's time lost from pictures, so we may not have as long as we think for them (by the time we get there & get family organized, then get wedding party organized, drive to 2nd location, drive back to the hotel). I definitely would like all of my guests to come, but they see on the invitation that there will be a gap, so if they would like they can choose not to attend if they think we're being rude by having that. That's alllll I'm trying to say.

    And we are saying that you have time to fix this and still be polite. Your guests should be more important than photos.

    Nope, wedding is less than a month away. And I'm not interested in 'fixing this' anyway. And I'm not saying anything else about this because it's not changing, and I'm tired of the etiquette police here chewing me out. Just because someone's wedding is different than your wedding, or your idea of a perfect wedding, it doesn't mean it's wrong.
    Well aren't you a ray of sunshine this morning.

    The fact is you are being a very poor host for your guests and your guests will know it, talk about it behind your back, and skimp on your wedding present because of how rude you are being for the sake of your perfect wedding.

    image

    Holy CRAP you girls are mean. Who are you to judge anyone else's wedding? AlisonMarie658 - no wonder 56 people have already declined an invitation to your wedding...you sound like an out of control bridezilla! 

    I've been on this board for all of one day and can honestly say I'm never coming back. You girls are the WORST! 

    If I had a dollar for everytime I heard this........
    image
  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2013
    Majelin86 said:
    I just don't think you people understand that this is happening...it's down to 3 & and a half weeks before my wedding, it's not like I'm going to change it now - that's what I'm getting frustrated about. I just don't see why people keep commenting on it telling me it's rude & unnecessary & to change it when that's clearly not going to happen. I'm stressed out enough as it is!
    Partly because it is still rude and you are still defending it.  Partly because it can be used to educate and help other members.  That's the point of the forum.  

    And frankly, you could still change it if you wanted to.  You could cut down your precious location photo shoots to one and join your guests within a reasonable amount of time and host them properly.  You refuse to.  That's your choice.  Own it, but don't act like it's not rude.

    image

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  • Majelin86 said:
    I just don't think you people understand that this is happening...it's down to 3 & and a half weeks before my wedding, it's not like I'm going to change it now - that's what I'm getting frustrated about. I just don't see why people keep commenting on it telling me it's rude & unnecessary & to change it when that's clearly not going to happen. I'm stressed out enough as it is!
    If I were your guest and subjected to a 3 hour wait because you want everything to be about YOU, YOU, YOU because it's YOUR DAY I'd leave and not even bother to attend your reception.

    You are being rude in not giving a rat's ass about the comfort and needs of your guests and just saying, "We're doing this anyway regardless of what you or they think."  And you are stressing yourself out over this.  You don't have to take our advice, but we're not the ones being rude in wanting you to host your guests properly.
  • Majelin86 said:
    I just don't think you people understand that this is happening...it's down to 3 & and a half weeks before my wedding, it's not like I'm going to change it now - that's what I'm getting frustrated about. I just don't see why people keep commenting on it telling me it's rude & unnecessary & to change it when that's clearly not going to happen. I'm stressed out enough as it is!
    We're not suggesting you completely reschedule. You've said the parents are hosting some of your guests; you just need to ensure all the guests get that memo so they will have the option.
    image
  • wow based on levels of "etiquette" expected here I guess I'll just defer my wedding questions to family and friend, sheesh
  • cjohn002 said:

    wow based on levels of "etiquette" expected here I guess I'll just defer my wedding questions to family and friend, sheesh

    Could you be specific regarding why you think the advice v was bad?
  • banana468 said:
    wow based on levels of "etiquette" expected here I guess I'll just defer my wedding questions to family and friend, sheesh
    Could you be specific regarding why you think the advice v was bad?
    I would also like to know. I mean, quelle horreur, we feel like everyone should host their guests and not leave them hanging. Explain to me why that is a bad thing?
    image
  • cjohn002 said:
    wow based on levels of "etiquette" expected here I guess I'll just defer my wedding questions to family and friend, sheesh
    Hmm.  I don't understand this post.  All of the proper etiquette advice given in this thread has been excellent.  I have to assume from this statement that you would prefer to be lied to.  Good luck!

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  • The last few weddings my FI and I have gone to, have had 2-3 hour gaps in between the ceremony and the reception and it is no fun waiting around to go to the next location. We are having our wedding at 5:30 and the reception at 6, so as soon as the wedding ceremony is over, our guests can go right into the hall where they can enjoy the bar, appetizers and a photobooth while we do our pictures because we don't want to see each other before the wedding. I understand you can't make any changes now, but you still have some time to figure out something for your guests to be able to do, because they will be upset and complain about the gap whether they say it to you or not. It's the polite thing to do because they are your guests.
  • my question is if you have made up your mind to host or not host the way you want, why did you ask for advice and now that many have given great suggestions and ideas you are standing firm in the way you want to host and not change.

     

    so why ask

  • my question is if you have made up your mind to host or not host the way you want, why did you ask for advice and now that many have given great suggestions and ideas you are standing firm in the way you want to host and not change.

     

    so why ask

     

    Stuck in the box. If this is directed to me - I didn't start this discussion - I simply stated that basically we were having a gap and I didn't see a problem with it, because the original poster was concerned about the gap. I did not ask for advice or suggestions from anyone.

  • We might have a little gap but just an hour or so for pictures got a huge family.

     
  • We might have a little gap but just an hour or so for pictures got a huge family.
    It is fairly common to take an hour to have photos, usually this is the cocktail hour. It isn't considered a gap if your guests are hosted. You should provide some food and refreshments (even if it is non-alcoholic), and your guests will be fine. Anything over 1.5 hours between the end of the ceremony and start of the reception is considered rude. 
  • Is it ok if the reception ends at 8? The reception would start at 3 then end at 8. Can only afford 5 hours of DJ.

     
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