Wedding Etiquette Forum

Reception seating is important

So glad to hear so many brides taking the steps to try and please everyone as far as reception seating. Yes all parties should act as adults and deal with it for the sake of the children. I am and always have been willing but, For my sons reception (10 hours away) his dad threatened to throw a scene if I showed up with my boyfriend of 3 years, he made such a fuss for months before the wedding, initially my BF was not invited. My son later said BF could come but, we would be seated far apart.. fine with me. So Dad was seated with all of his family and my daughter and her family directly in front of the bridal table, while my mom, BF and I were seated in a corner of the room with the photographer and 6 very nice people we didn't know, Who wondered why the mog was in the corner. (Dad then did not even show up for the reception until one of my sons went and got him) I was hurt and humiliated, so please, please carefully work on solutions for as many situations as you can.

Re: Reception seating is important

  • I am sorry this happened :(

    Hearing things like this make me realize how truly blessed I am. My parents have been divorced for over 10 year, and have remained close friends the entire time. It would throw my friends off in college when they would all come visit me together (with their new spouses).

    As part of a Jewish tradition I am having both my parents walk my down the aisle and besides seeing my groom for the first time that is the next most important part to me <3
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    Anniversary
    Maggi708
  • You are very fortunate, I tried to remain friends but, for him it was all or nothing. And has made family things difficult ever since. My BF and his ex are friends, what a difference that makes to everyone. Cherish every minute of your day!
    melbelleup
  • Maggi708Maggi708 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited September 2013
    For the record, did not cheat on ex. :). Married for 28 years, couldn't do it any more. I agree Girlfriday but, son got sick of going in circles with crazy father. Bride decided seating arrangements. :( (Another story) Just want other brides to know just how important the seating really is.
    SewInLoveWithDMBxhellokittymelbelleup
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    How disrespectful. Any other guest's feeling about should have nothing to do with where the bride and groom sat you. This is both of their faults.



    Anniversary
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  • That's just crap and ridiculously disrespectful.  There is no reason he couldn't have seated all of you at table that were close to the front but still keep you separated.  I am so sorry that happened.
    Maggi708melbelleup
  • Salsera29Salsera29 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited September 2013
    Ugh I'm so sorry that happened to you. My parents are divorced and my mom is not a fan of my father's. He was seated at the table next to hers and nobody spontaneously combusted. Sometimes adults really just need to suck it up. 
    PrettyGirlLostMaggi708melbelleup
  • My dad is literally married to the woman he cheated on my mom with.  My mom is single.  While they will not be seated together at my reception (it will be the first time mom meets his wife), they will both be at the front of the room, at tables with their own families.  I may sit my mom with my FI's family and my sister with my dad - i don't know yet.  But i do know that they are both adults and are going to act as such at my wedding. 

     

    If your ex was the one acting dramatic, why didn't HE have to sit in the back by himself?  Unless he was funding this shindig, i don't know why you were the one punished for his jackassery.

    Maggi708melbelleup
  • I'm so sorry that your son and now daughter in-law did that to you.  The sad thing is that they have set a standard for other events... major parties, kids birthdays etc... I pray that isn't the case, but I wonder. 
    Maggi708
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Your son and his new wife were incredibly cruel and disrespectful to you, and probably made things even worse by catering to his father's childish temper tantrums.  You are obviously very hurt by their actions. And, you're the only one taking the high road with it, even though you were treated the most poorly of all.  I do hope your other children are able to learn from this situation and are able to stand up to their jerk of a father and do things the right way. I'm so sorry they treated you as they did.
    Maggi708
  • Your ex sounds like an immature asshole.
    Your son should have stood up for you. Even if your ex was paying, there should have been some mature decision making going on.

    I'm glad your other children have the decency to see that you were treated poorly and are refusing to do the same.
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    RebeccaB88Maggi708melbelleup
  • I had a similar situation at my wedding, my mom left my dad when I was still living with them so naturally I grew closer to my dad and my mom sort of fell off. The problem with my dad is that it was such a shock to him he wasn't able to cope with my mom leaving and especially having a new bf questionably soon after the split. my mom didn't make things any better by being a complete bitch to him after the split so any type of relationship wasn't possible. So I guess what I'm saying is that I know what your son is going through. It sucks!!! He shouldn't have had to go through that...both parties should have sucked it up, grown up, and come to an agreement! It's your sons wedding for Christ sake! If the dad doesn't want the bf there because it would make him uncomfortable, then mom should have understood which man is more important in her sons life and spent the day without her boyfriend and spend time with her son and new daughter! After all, a wedding is supposed to be about the new couple and their continued happiness, not the time to be selfish.
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its

    I'm going to have such a hard time with this. Both our parents are divorced but mine are great friends - no problems. We're having a very small wedding (less than 40) and were hoping to have one huge dinner table. FI's mom is a manipulative brat and is causing serious problems. She does not get along at all with FI's dad or his family so we have no idea where to put everyone. I'm thinking that since she's the one being ridicluous, she should be the one who has to sit in the corner but I know she'll whine and moan and cause a scene.

     

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    Maggi708
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited September 2013
    Your son and his new wife were incredibly cruel and disrespectful to you, and probably made things even worse by catering to his father's childish temper tantrums.  You are obviously very hurt by their actions. And, you're the only one taking the high road with it, even though you were treated the most poorly of all.  I do hope your other children are able to learn from this situation and are able to stand up to their jerk of a father and do things the right way. I'm so sorry they treated you as they did.
    Totally agree with this. I'm sorry they did that to you. How terrible! 
    My parents are still together but FI's have been divorced since he was 18. And they actually have a great relationship. Fi's dad is older and ill and his mom helps take care of him and even takes him to the doctor. It's great that they're able to get along with each other. 
    Edited to add: Fi's mom will be bringing a date to the wedding as well. I would never tell her she can't and I would never seat them separate. Just...wow. I'm still in shock. 
    Maggi708
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Banana for the win.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    Maggi708melbelleup
  • Absolutely it is the time for me to me selfish! I'm not about to let my day be ruined because my parents can't get their shit together
    photokitty
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Absolutely it is the time for me to me selfish! I'm not about to let my day be ruined because my parents can't get their shit together
    No, it's not a day for you to be selfish! It's a day for you to be a good host. To take your guests into consideration. For you to celebrate your marriage. Jeeeesus. 
    PrettyGirlLostMaggi708melbelleupaurorajanette
  • I had a similar situation at my wedding, my mom left my dad when I was still living with them so naturally I grew closer to my dad and my mom sort of fell off. The problem with my dad is that it was such a shock to him he wasn't able to cope with my mom leaving and especially having a new bf questionably soon after the split. my mom didn't make things any better by being a complete bitch to him after the split so any type of relationship wasn't possible. So I guess what I'm saying is that I know what your son is going through. It sucks!!! He shouldn't have had to go through that...both parties should have sucked it up, grown up, and come to an agreement! It's your sons wedding for Christ sake! If the dad doesn't want the bf there because it would make him uncomfortable, then mom should have understood which man is more important in her sons life and spent the day without her boyfriend and spend time with her son and new daughter! After all, a wedding is supposed to be about the new couple and their continued happiness, not the time to be selfish.

    Am I missing a punch line? This makes me so sad. No one should be sacrificing their comfort here. The most unselfish, respectful, comfortable and ADULT solution here is to be adults and let everyone be in the relationship that most fulfills them - and publicly. You are asking someone to put a loved one on the back burner so that you can put yourself and your husband and your other parent on the... front burner (?). That is quite hurtful.
    PrettyGirlLostMaggi708
  • Absolutely it is the time for me to me selfish! I'm not about to let my day be ruined because my parents can't get their shit together
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    PrettyGirlLostMaggi708melbelleupgrumbledore
  • Wow...just wow.  OP - I'm so sorry that your son and his wife treated you like a third rate guest.  Your son should have told his father how it was going to be and requested that he have respect for him (if not you) to keep it together for such a beautiful day. Unacceptable.

    And DaisyDuke, your advice is unreasonable, hurtful and callous. If you do not want to respect your mother and allow her the same comforts as your father and every other guest at your wedding, don't invite her.

     

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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
    Maggi708aurorajanette
  • Really daisy duke? My bf is not a dog to be left in the kennel when I'm with my family. My son was 23 when i left his dad. Well said zobird, banana468, olive oils mom and the rest of you. I'm still hurt and they are still adamant that they did the right thing to keep ex from making a scene. Time to get past it and look to the future. Could be interesting!
    melbelleup
  • my FIs parents had a very messy divorce. I am extremely stressed out about the seating situation. However, they are both EQUALLY important and neither one of them will be made to feel less important than the other. I would absolutely have loved to sit with family at the wedding but definitely going with a sweetheart table to avoid making anyone feel less important as we really can't seat them together.
    OliveOilsMom
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