We got married last Friday (woot woot!) and everything went pretty perfectly... it was an absolutely beautiful (if not sweltering) day, we had a full three days full of family and friends, and I married my best friend. As I recap now, there's one issue that I really can't get out of my mind.
We used a local specialty grocery store that has an in-house catering service (absolutely wonderful, local food). The store is family owned, and the service felt like it. Really, it was amazing. We got married a historic community garden center where there is a physical bar but not services. They don't have a liquor license, so it was in our contract that absolutely no money could change hands for liquor (no, "oh, it's an open bar, but we need guests to give 'tips'!" *wink wink* situations).
The store owner's son has a bartending service on the side, so we hired him to provide a bartender. The guy was wonderful, very cheerful and chatty. The guests loved him. I didn't even see the bar (it was in a side screened area beside the great room)...my lovely, lovely guests kept me drink-in-hand. At 11pm, when most guests had already left, I realized that the guy had had a tip jar on the bar all evening! It was absolutely full. We'd prepared a very generous tip for him, but didn't give it ahead of time (my first mistake?). I brought it up to some friends that I was upset, and insisted that it wasn't a big deal: "Every drink was only $1! That's a great deal!" I'm so embarrassed, and really pissed that he compromised me properly hosting people. We ended up giving him a very small tip at the end of the night. Who even knew that bartenders carried their own tip jars?!
So now, as I begin to review vendors, I can't help the urge to call the owner and let him know that I'm upset. It's a small town and we just moved here, so I don't want to create drama. But I am still so angry. What would you do?