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Dry Wedding!?

meghansheaodomeghansheaodo member
10 Comments First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I was just reading another post about a couple who can only have one hour of open bar. A lot of the responses said to have a dry wedding instead, that it is rude to have guests open their wallets. I am planning on having a cash bar, because I can't afford open bar, but I want the option of alcohol to be there for guests if they choose to drink. I have also been to several weddings where this is the case and I have never thought twice about it. So I guess my question is, is it more polite to have absolutely no option of alcohol or just have the guests pay for whatever drinks they would like? 
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Re: Dry Wedding!?

  • arrippaarrippa member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    Etiquette wise, go with a dry wedding. Remember, you are hosting a thank you to your guests. As the host, it's never ok for a guest to open their wallet.

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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    It more polite to have a dry wedding than a cash bar. Host what you can afford. Dry, beer and wine only or open bar - all are polite. Cash bar is not polite.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    It's more polite to have a dry wedding than a cash bar. Your guests should not have to open their wallets at your wedding.
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    meghansheaodo said:
    I was just reading another post about a couple who can only have one hour of open bar. A lot of the responses said to have a dry wedding instead, that it is rude to have guests open their wallets. I am planning on having a cash bar, because I can't afford open bar, but I want the option of alcohol to be there for guests if they choose to drink. I have also been to several weddings where this is the case and I have never thought twice about it. So I guess my question is, is it more polite to have absolutely no option of alcohol or just have the guests pay for whatever drinks they would like? 


    I'm from a region where cash bars are popular, too. I get the whole "Well everyone else does it, so I can, too!" concept.

    Just because they're common where you're from does not make them polite. We wanted alcohol, so we made other cuts so we could afford to fully host it.

    Like I said earlier today on another thread, host what you can afford and no one will fault you.

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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    itzMS said:
    meghansheaodo said:
    I was just reading another post about a couple who can only have one hour of open bar. A lot of the responses said to have a dry wedding instead, that it is rude to have guests open their wallets. I am planning on having a cash bar, because I can't afford open bar, but I want the option of alcohol to be there for guests if they choose to drink. I have also been to several weddings where this is the case and I have never thought twice about it. So I guess my question is, is it more polite to have absolutely no option of alcohol or just have the guests pay for whatever drinks they would like? 


    I'm from a region where cash bars are popular, too. I get the whole "Well everyone else does it, so I can, too!" concept.

    Just because they're common where you're from does not make them polite. We wanted alcohol, so we made other cuts so we could afford to fully host it.

    Like I said earlier today on another thread, host what you can afford and no one will fault you.

    Just chiming in to say, they are common here too, and still rude.  And the vast majority of people still hate them.

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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Sorry, they're rude. At a dry wedding everyone is sober. When you charge your own guests for their drinks it means that some people are drinking and those who forgot cash can't. Tacky



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  • mc4dj13mc4dj13 member
    Seventh Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Combo Breaker
    If you can only offer 1 hour of open bar then that is that. Guests are coming to your wedding to celebrate your love, not get smashed on your dime. Offer alcohol at your wedding. I am sure more people would be put-off by a dry wedding. 
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  • WonderRedWonderRed member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm never put off by a dry wedding, but they are never anywhere close to being as fun as weddings with alcohol.  From an etiquette stand point though, it's not at all rude.  Cash bars, on the other hand, are.
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  • ashleyepashleyep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited September 2013
    meghansheaodo said:
    I was just reading another post about a couple who can only have one hour of open bar. A lot of the responses said to have a dry wedding instead, that it is rude to have guests open their wallets. I am planning on having a cash bar, because I can't afford open bar, but I want the option of alcohol to be there for guests if they choose to drink. I have also been to several weddings where this is the case and I have never thought twice about it. So I guess my question is, is it more polite to have absolutely no option of alcohol or just have the guests pay for whatever drinks they would like? 
    It's more polite to have a dry wedding, though I, personally, would rather see a cash bar at a wedding than no booze. But it's still poor etiquette.

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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Maybe instead of one hour of open bar you can talk to your bar vendor and see about doing a few hours of just beer and wine. That's all we're doing. We're adding a cash bar on top of it if someone wants harder liquor.
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  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    cmelliott said:
    Maybe instead of one hour of open bar you can talk to your bar vendor and see about doing a few hours of just beer and wine. That's all we're doing. We're adding a cash bar on top of it if someone wants harder liquor.

    Serious question. Did you read the OP? She's not contemplating the hour of an open bar. She said she read another post about it.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Either have a dry wedding, a limited bar, or an open bar.

    But, no cash bar whatsoever.  That's not appropriate and it's poor hosting.  Regardless of whether or not guests are happier with alcohol or not, they should not be expected to pay for anything-ever-at a wedding.  The costs of provisions need to be covered by whoever is hosting.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    cmelliott said:
    Maybe instead of one hour of open bar you can talk to your bar vendor and see about doing a few hours of just beer and wine. That's all we're doing. We're adding a cash bar on top of it if someone wants harder liquor.
    Nope.  Etiquette fail.  If you want to offer alcohol to someone who wants harder liquor, pay for it yourself.
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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    misshart00 said:
    cmelliott said:
    Maybe instead of one hour of open bar you can talk to your bar vendor and see about doing a few hours of just beer and wine. That's all we're doing. We're adding a cash bar on top of it if someone wants harder liquor.

    Serious question. Did you read the OP? She's not contemplating the hour of an open bar. She said she read another post about it.
    my mistake. down, lassie.
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  • mc4dj13mc4dj13 member
    Seventh Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Combo Breaker
    Grumble-snore: Not very lady-like from someone who is posting about etiquette on a wedding board, don't you think? 
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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    My guests actually told me they would prefer I had a cash bar on top of the beer and wine. Our families want liquor and we just can't afford it. But I never suggested for the other person to add a cash bar. I suggested the beer and wine and I just said that I also took it upon myself to add the cash bar on top of the beer and wine for anyone who wanted harder liquor.
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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Dreamergirl8812 said:
    cmelliott said:
    My guests actually told me they would prefer I had a cash bar on top of the beer and wine. Our families want liquor and we just can't afford it. But I never suggested for the other person to add a cash bar. I suggested the beer and wine and I just said that I also took it upon myself to add the cash bar on top of the beer and wine for anyone who wanted harder liquor.
    And you put your male friend in a bm dress. Nuff said.
    Yup. Making 'em wear 9 inch stilettos too. :P *sarcasm obviously cause everyone on this board has one mode and that's raging bitch lol
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  • mc4dj13mc4dj13 member
    Seventh Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Combo Breaker
    I would think that a gracious-host would want the input of her guests. If they tell the bride flat out that they want alcohol then it would be horrible to NOT provide it, right? The revelation is such a breath of fresh air that I am going to drop all of my wedding plans and fucking elope!! LOL
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  • jenniferursjenniferurs member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    ashleyep said:
    meghansheaodo said:
    I was just reading another post about a couple who can only have one hour of open bar. A lot of the responses said to have a dry wedding instead, that it is rude to have guests open their wallets. I am planning on having a cash bar, because I can't afford open bar, but I want the option of alcohol to be there for guests if they choose to drink. I have also been to several weddings where this is the case and I have never thought twice about it. So I guess my question is, is it more polite to have absolutely no option of alcohol or just have the guests pay for whatever drinks they would like? 
    It's more polite to have a dry wedding, though I, personally, would rather see a cash bar at a wedding than no booze. But it's still poor etiquette.


    This. I, personally, would prefer to have the option of alcohol than no alcohol at all, even though it's technically frowned upon. But if you do this, make sure there are ATMs nearby, because most people won't come prepared.
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its

    artbyallie said:
    cmelliott said:
    Dreamergirl8812 said:
    cmelliott said:
    My guests actually told me they would prefer I had a cash bar on top of the beer and wine. Our families want liquor and we just can't afford it. But I never suggested for the other person to add a cash bar. I suggested the beer and wine and I just said that I also took it upon myself to add the cash bar on top of the beer and wine for anyone who wanted harder liquor.
    And you put your male friend in a bm dress. Nuff said.
    Yup. Making 'em wear 9 inch stilettos too. :P *sarcasm obviously cause everyone on this board has one mode and that's raging bitch lol
    @KnotPorscha Is this against TOS?
    No offense, but - That's the statement that someone is finally going to do a mod alert over??? Several of these ladies have been going at it all day and that's nowhere near the most offensive statement IMHO.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    photokitty said:

    artbyallie said:
    cmelliott said:
    Dreamergirl8812 said:
    cmelliott said:
    My guests actually told me they would prefer I had a cash bar on top of the beer and wine. Our families want liquor and we just can't afford it. But I never suggested for the other person to add a cash bar. I suggested the beer and wine and I just said that I also took it upon myself to add the cash bar on top of the beer and wine for anyone who wanted harder liquor.
    And you put your male friend in a bm dress. Nuff said.
    Yup. Making 'em wear 9 inch stilettos too. :P *sarcasm obviously cause everyone on this board has one mode and that's raging bitch lol
    @KnotPorscha Is this against TOS?
    No offense, but - That's the statement that someone is finally going to do a mod alert over??? Several of these ladies have been going at it all day and that's nowhere near the most offensive statement IMHO.
    "OMG that's so rude" and "everyone on this board has one mode and that's raging bitch" are different. Is that confusing?



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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Dreamergirl8812 said:
    photokitty said:

    artbyallie said:
    cmelliott said:
    Dreamergirl8812 said:
    cmelliott said:
    My guests actually told me they would prefer I had a cash bar on top of the beer and wine. Our families want liquor and we just can't afford it. But I never suggested for the other person to add a cash bar. I suggested the beer and wine and I just said that I also took it upon myself to add the cash bar on top of the beer and wine for anyone who wanted harder liquor.
    And you put your male friend in a bm dress. Nuff said.
    Yup. Making 'em wear 9 inch stilettos too. :P *sarcasm obviously cause everyone on this board has one mode and that's raging bitch lol
    @KnotPorscha Is this against TOS?
    No offense, but - That's the statement that someone is finally going to do a mod alert over??? Several of these ladies have been going at it all day and that's nowhere near the most offensive statement IMHO.
    "OMG that's so rude" and "everyone on this board has one mode and that's raging bitch" are different. Is that confusing?
    checkout the other threads where "kind of an asshole," bitch gifs and other *niceties* are being thrown around by several posters.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited September 2013
    @megansheaodo, sorry your thread was hijacked by cmelliott, and mc4dj13 giving bad advice. To answer your question, a cash bar is highly insulting to your guests. A dry wedding is perfectly acceptable.
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