Dry Wedding!?

jenniferurs · September 2013

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

photokitty · September 2013

photokitty said:

It more polite to have a dry wedding than a cash bar. Host what you can afford. Dry, beer and wine only or open bar - all are polite. Cash bar is not polite.

NYCMercedes said:

@megansheaodo, sorry your thread was hijacked by photokitty, cmelliott, and mc4dj13 giving bad advice. To answer your question, a cash bar is highly insulting to your guests. A dry wedding is perfectly acceptable.

Excuse me @NYCMercedes, but I did not give bad advice as you can see above.

ETA - thank you

Jen4948 · September 2013

jenniferurs said:

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

You're missing the point, which is that it is rude to expect alcohol at a wedding. The hosts are not required to serve it. If they don't, or don't serve a full open bar, then it is not acceptable for a guest to expect to buy alcohol. If you feel that that makes the wedding less fun, then yes, you are welcome to leave early, but the hosts were not rude in not providing the alcohol. And if alcohol is more important to you than being there to celebrate with the hosts, I'm sure they'll be happy to see the back of you.

mc4dj13 · September 2013

By "Hijacked" I hope you mean speak my mind, because I do that everyday. It appears you ladies have been sucking on the Knot Etiquette tit for so long that you forgot what the difference between rational and bat-shit crazy is.

photokitty · September 2013

jenniferurs said:

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

I would prefer to have a dry wedding than a cash bar. Of course I would prefer a fully hosted top shelf open bar, but I'd rather have dry than the option of paying.

Jen4948 · September 2013

mc4dj13 said:

By "Hijacked" I hope you mean speak my mind, because I do that everyday. It appears you ladies have been sucking on the Knot Etiquette tit for so long that you forgot what the difference between rational and bat-shit crazy is.

No, you did. This is the etiquette board, so no, we aren't going to stop "sucking on the Knot Etiquette tit." So suggesting that we should is bat-shit crazy.

NYCMercedes · September 2013

@photokitty, I'm sorry. I goofed. I just edited it and took out your name. I'm glad you called me out on it.

MuppetOverlord · September 2013

dedmc4dj13 said:

I would think that a gracious-host would want the input of her guests. If they tell the bride flat out that they want alcohol then it would be horrible to NOT provide it, right? The revelation is such a breath of fresh air that I am going to drop all of my wedding plans and fucking elope!! LOL

No. A proper host provides what they can afford and does not create a situation that would cause their guests to open their wallets.

If a guest complains about the meal and beverages you've provided to thank them for attending the wedding and supporting your marriage, the poor reflection is on them.

Host your guests for your wedding as you would in your home, and take special consideration that this your "thank you" to them.

If you invite friends over for dinner for helping you out on some project, you wouldn't offer the soft drinks and then charge them $2.00 for a beer.

(ETA: I am one of those people from an area where cash bars are common and while I am personally used to them, they're still rude and I've witnessed others be offended by them. Also, if soft drinks are not included, I will judge the couple for life. I can remember every single wedding I've been to where I had to pay for a diet coke.)

jenniferurs · September 2013

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

You're missing the point, which is that it is rude to expect alcohol at a wedding. The hosts are not required to serve it. If they don't, or don't serve a full open bar, then it is not acceptable for a guest to expect to buy alcohol. If you feel that that makes the wedding less fun, then yes, you are welcome to leave early, but the hosts were not rude in not providing the alcohol. And if alcohol is more important to you than being there to celebrate with the hosts, I'm sure they'll be happy to see the back of you.

I never suggested that they were rude in not providing alcohol, I simply asked a question as to everyone's preference.

Jen4948 · September 2013

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

You're missing the point, which is that it is rude to expect alcohol at a wedding. The hosts are not required to serve it. If they don't, or don't serve a full open bar, then it is not acceptable for a guest to expect to buy alcohol. If you feel that that makes the wedding less fun, then yes, you are welcome to leave early, but the hosts were not rude in not providing the alcohol. And if alcohol is more important to you than being there to celebrate with the hosts, I'm sure they'll be happy to see the back of you.

I never suggested that they were rude in not providing alcohol, I simply asked a question as to everyone's preference.

Preference does not make it polite to offer cash bars. They do not belong at weddings. Period.

NYCMercedes · September 2013

Hijacked by insulting grumbledore, mc4dj13.

loves2shop4shoes · September 2013

A dry wedding isn't very fun. I would invite fewer people and have at least a limited open bar.

But, etiquette wise, a dry wedding is better than a cash bar.

I've only seen a cash bar done once...it was a friend of DH's. And to say it was TACKY AS HELL was an understatement. Like, I shudder to think about it. Absolutely classless.

jenniferurs · September 2013

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

You're missing the point, which is that it is rude to expect alcohol at a wedding. The hosts are not required to serve it. If they don't, or don't serve a full open bar, then it is not acceptable for a guest to expect to buy alcohol. If you feel that that makes the wedding less fun, then yes, you are welcome to leave early, but the hosts were not rude in not providing the alcohol. And if alcohol is more important to you than being there to celebrate with the hosts, I'm sure they'll be happy to see the back of you.

I never suggested that they were rude in not providing alcohol, I simply asked a question as to everyone's preference.

Preference does not make it polite to offer cash bars. They do not belong at weddings. Period.

I think people get too caught up in old school rules sometimes. I don't have a dog in this fight (I'm having a 5 hour fully open bar), but if I didn't have the funds to do so, I would see what my guests wanted and cater to their wants/needs. If they all preferred an open bar to a dry wedding, etiquette be damned, I'd give them what they wanted so as to be a good host and show them the best time possible within my means. I'm not going to go against all of my guests' wishes in the interest of observing age-old etiquette.

But then, this is the etiquette board, so people should expect to receive the traditional proper etiquette response. I just think that proper wedding etiquette may not always play out well in real life and sometimes you have to deviate from the norm in order to please your particular set of family/friends.

Jen4948 · September 2013

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

You're missing the point, which is that it is rude to expect alcohol at a wedding. The hosts are not required to serve it. If they don't, or don't serve a full open bar, then it is not acceptable for a guest to expect to buy alcohol. If you feel that that makes the wedding less fun, then yes, you are welcome to leave early, but the hosts were not rude in not providing the alcohol. And if alcohol is more important to you than being there to celebrate with the hosts, I'm sure they'll be happy to see the back of you.

I never suggested that they were rude in not providing alcohol, I simply asked a question as to everyone's preference.

Preference does not make it polite to offer cash bars. They do not belong at weddings. Period.

I think people get too caught up in old school rules sometimes. I don't have a dog in this fight (I'm having a 5 hour fully open bar), but if I didn't have the funds to do so, I would see what my guests wanted and cater to their wants/needs. If they all preferred an open bar to a dry wedding, etiquette be damned, I'd give them what they wanted so as to be a good host and show them the best time possible within my means. I'm not going to go against all of my guests' wishes in the interest of observing age-old etiquette.
But then, this is the etiquette board, so people should expect to receive the traditional proper etiquette response. I just think that proper wedding etiquette may not always play out well in real life and sometimes you have to deviate from the norm in order to please your particular set of family/friends.

Or your family and friends need to grow up and stop expecting alcohol at weddings that the couple doesn't want to pay for.

cmelliott · September 2013

Here's a question, why is it tacky to have a cash bar when you're not forcing your guests to drink? Why is it tacky to ask them to pay for something that they may want when you're not forcing them to drink? Why is it tacky to give them a free meal and entertainment and have something that they can pay for, only if they want? Why is it tacky to have purchasable alcohol at a wedding they didn't have to attend? I see a lot of people harping that things are tacky or not etiquette but they never explain why. Especially when there are different forms of etiquette all over the world. So I ask you, why?

Jen4948 · September 2013

cmelliott said:

Here's a question, why is it tacky to have a cash bar when you're not forcing your guests to drink? Why is it tacky to ask them to pay for something that they may want when you're not forcing them to drink? Why is it tacky to give them a free meal and entertainment and have something that they can pay for, only if they want? Why is it tacky to have purchasable alcohol at a wedding they didn't have to attend? I see a lot of people harping that things are tacky or not etiquette but they never explain why. Especially when there are different forms of etiquette all over the world. So I ask you, why?

Because it's tacky to expect guests to pay for anything-whether or not they actually buy it. Everything offered, whether or not consumed, needs to be paid for by the hosts. End of story.

cmelliott · September 2013

Jen4948 said:

cmelliott said:

Here's a question, why is it tacky to have a cash bar when you're not forcing your guests to drink? Why is it tacky to ask them to pay for something that they may want when you're not forcing them to drink? Why is it tacky to give them a free meal and entertainment and have something that they can pay for, only if they want? Why is it tacky to have purchasable alcohol at a wedding they didn't have to attend? I see a lot of people harping that things are tacky or not etiquette but they never explain why. Especially when there are different forms of etiquette all over the world. So I ask you, why?

Because it's tacky to expect guests to pay for anything-whether or not they actually buy it. Everything offered, whether or not consumed, needs to be paid for by the hosts. End of story.

You didn't answer my question. Why?

jenniferurs · September 2013

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

You're missing the point, which is that it is rude to expect alcohol at a wedding. The hosts are not required to serve it. If they don't, or don't serve a full open bar, then it is not acceptable for a guest to expect to buy alcohol. If you feel that that makes the wedding less fun, then yes, you are welcome to leave early, but the hosts were not rude in not providing the alcohol. And if alcohol is more important to you than being there to celebrate with the hosts, I'm sure they'll be happy to see the back of you.

I never suggested that they were rude in not providing alcohol, I simply asked a question as to everyone's preference.

Preference does not make it polite to offer cash bars. They do not belong at weddings. Period.

I think people get too caught up in old school rules sometimes. I don't have a dog in this fight (I'm having a 5 hour fully open bar), but if I didn't have the funds to do so, I would see what my guests wanted and cater to their wants/needs. If they all preferred an open bar to a dry wedding, etiquette be damned, I'd give them what they wanted so as to be a good host and show them the best time possible within my means. I'm not going to go against all of my guests' wishes in the interest of observing age-old etiquette.
But then, this is the etiquette board, so people should expect to receive the traditional proper etiquette response. I just think that proper wedding etiquette may not always play out well in real life and sometimes you have to deviate from the norm in order to please your particular set of family/friends.

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

You're missing the point, which is that it is rude to expect alcohol at a wedding. The hosts are not required to serve it. If they don't, or don't serve a full open bar, then it is not acceptable for a guest to expect to buy alcohol. If you feel that that makes the wedding less fun, then yes, you are welcome to leave early, but the hosts were not rude in not providing the alcohol. And if alcohol is more important to you than being there to celebrate with the hosts, I'm sure they'll be happy to see the back of you.

I never suggested that they were rude in not providing alcohol, I simply asked a question as to everyone's preference.

Preference does not make it polite to offer cash bars. They do not belong at weddings. Period.

I think people get too caught up in old school rules sometimes. I don't have a dog in this fight (I'm having a 5 hour fully open bar), but if I didn't have the funds to do so, I would see what my guests wanted and cater to their wants/needs. If they all preferred an open bar to a dry wedding, etiquette be damned, I'd give them what they wanted so as to be a good host and show them the best time possible within my means. I'm not going to go against all of my guests' wishes in the interest of observing age-old etiquette.
But then, this is the etiquette board, so people should expect to receive the traditional proper etiquette response. I just think that proper wedding etiquette may not always play out well in real life and sometimes you have to deviate from the norm in order to please your particular set of family/friends.

Or your family and friends need to grow up and stop expecting alcohol at weddings that the couple doesn't want to pay for.

It has nothing to do with an expectation and everything to do with what may make the evening more enjoyable for them. And if my guests are going to have a better time if I give them a cash bar rather than have a dry wedding, I'm not going to deprive them of that option in the interest of simply "observing wedding etiquette." If you would, that's your prerogative, but I, and potentially others, prioritize differently. And to me, doing what my guests would prefer ranks higher than observing old wedding rules.

Jen4948 · September 2013

cmelliott said:

Jen4948 said:

cmelliott said:

Here's a question, why is it tacky to have a cash bar when you're not forcing your guests to drink? Why is it tacky to ask them to pay for something that they may want when you're not forcing them to drink? Why is it tacky to give them a free meal and entertainment and have something that they can pay for, only if they want? Why is it tacky to have purchasable alcohol at a wedding they didn't have to attend? I see a lot of people harping that things are tacky or not etiquette but they never explain why. Especially when there are different forms of etiquette all over the world. So I ask you, why?

Because it's tacky to expect guests to pay for anything-whether or not they actually buy it. Everything offered, whether or not consumed, needs to be paid for by the hosts. End of story.

You didn't answer my question. Why?

Yes, I did. Etiquette holds that it is tacky for hosts to offer anything to guests and expect them to pay for it-whether it's parking, drinks, food, or what have you.

You are being childish in pushing this. Etiquette is not going to accommodate you because you want to offer things but expect not to have to pay for them.

cmelliott · September 2013

Jen4948 said:

cmelliott said:

Jen4948 said:

cmelliott said:

Here's a question, why is it tacky to have a cash bar when you're not forcing your guests to drink? Why is it tacky to ask them to pay for something that they may want when you're not forcing them to drink? Why is it tacky to give them a free meal and entertainment and have something that they can pay for, only if they want? Why is it tacky to have purchasable alcohol at a wedding they didn't have to attend? I see a lot of people harping that things are tacky or not etiquette but they never explain why. Especially when there are different forms of etiquette all over the world. So I ask you, why?

Because it's tacky to expect guests to pay for anything-whether or not they actually buy it. Everything offered, whether or not consumed, needs to be paid for by the hosts. End of story.

You didn't answer my question. Why?

Yes, I did. Etiquette holds that it is tacky for hosts to offer anything to guests and expect them to pay for it-whether it's parking, drinks, food, or what have you.

You are being childish in pushing this. Etiquette is not going to accommodate you because you want to offer things but expect not to have to pay for them.

I'm not pushing anything. I'm asking why? It's very reasonable to want to know why before I make any decisions based off the advice on this board.

Jen4948 · September 2013

cmelliott said:

Jen4948 said:

cmelliott said:

Jen4948 said:

cmelliott said:

Here's a question, why is it tacky to have a cash bar when you're not forcing your guests to drink? Why is it tacky to ask them to pay for something that they may want when you're not forcing them to drink? Why is it tacky to give them a free meal and entertainment and have something that they can pay for, only if they want? Why is it tacky to have purchasable alcohol at a wedding they didn't have to attend? I see a lot of people harping that things are tacky or not etiquette but they never explain why. Especially when there are different forms of etiquette all over the world. So I ask you, why?

Because it's tacky to expect guests to pay for anything-whether or not they actually buy it. Everything offered, whether or not consumed, needs to be paid for by the hosts. End of story.

You didn't answer my question. Why?

Yes, I did. Etiquette holds that it is tacky for hosts to offer anything to guests and expect them to pay for it-whether it's parking, drinks, food, or what have you.

You are being childish in pushing this. Etiquette is not going to accommodate you because you want to offer things but expect not to have to pay for them.

I'm not pushing anything. I'm asking why? It's very reasonable to want to know why before I make any decisions based off the advice on this board.

You've been told why. Grow up already.

KeptInStitches · September 2013

@cmelliot, let's say you had a dinner party. You serve your guests pasta with chicken. You tell them if they pay extra, they can have lobster. You'd never do that, right? Cash bars are no different.

cmelliott · September 2013

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

You're missing the point, which is that it is rude to expect alcohol at a wedding. The hosts are not required to serve it. If they don't, or don't serve a full open bar, then it is not acceptable for a guest to expect to buy alcohol. If you feel that that makes the wedding less fun, then yes, you are welcome to leave early, but the hosts were not rude in not providing the alcohol. And if alcohol is more important to you than being there to celebrate with the hosts, I'm sure they'll be happy to see the back of you.

I never suggested that they were rude in not providing alcohol, I simply asked a question as to everyone's preference.

Preference does not make it polite to offer cash bars. They do not belong at weddings. Period.

I think people get too caught up in old school rules sometimes. I don't have a dog in this fight (I'm having a 5 hour fully open bar), but if I didn't have the funds to do so, I would see what my guests wanted and cater to their wants/needs. If they all preferred an open bar to a dry wedding, etiquette be damned, I'd give them what they wanted so as to be a good host and show them the best time possible within my means. I'm not going to go against all of my guests' wishes in the interest of observing age-old etiquette.
But then, this is the etiquette board, so people should expect to receive the traditional proper etiquette response. I just think that proper wedding etiquette may not always play out well in real life and sometimes you have to deviate from the norm in order to please your particular set of family/friends.

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

You're missing the point, which is that it is rude to expect alcohol at a wedding. The hosts are not required to serve it. If they don't, or don't serve a full open bar, then it is not acceptable for a guest to expect to buy alcohol. If you feel that that makes the wedding less fun, then yes, you are welcome to leave early, but the hosts were not rude in not providing the alcohol. And if alcohol is more important to you than being there to celebrate with the hosts, I'm sure they'll be happy to see the back of you.

I never suggested that they were rude in not providing alcohol, I simply asked a question as to everyone's preference.

Preference does not make it polite to offer cash bars. They do not belong at weddings. Period.

I think people get too caught up in old school rules sometimes. I don't have a dog in this fight (I'm having a 5 hour fully open bar), but if I didn't have the funds to do so, I would see what my guests wanted and cater to their wants/needs. If they all preferred an open bar to a dry wedding, etiquette be damned, I'd give them what they wanted so as to be a good host and show them the best time possible within my means. I'm not going to go against all of my guests' wishes in the interest of observing age-old etiquette.
But then, this is the etiquette board, so people should expect to receive the traditional proper etiquette response. I just think that proper wedding etiquette may not always play out well in real life and sometimes you have to deviate from the norm in order to please your particular set of family/friends.

Or your family and friends need to grow up and stop expecting alcohol at weddings that the couple doesn't want to pay for.

It has nothing to do with an expectation and everything to do with what may make the evening more enjoyable for them. And if my guests are going to have a better time if I give them a cash bar rather than have a dry wedding, I'm not going to deprive them of that option in the interest of simply "observing wedding etiquette." If you would, that's your prerogative, but I, and potentially others, prioritize differently. And to me, doing what my guests would prefer ranks higher than observing old wedding rules.

Agree, making everyone comfortable and happy is most important.

NYCMercedes · September 2013

"Because it's tacky to expect guests to pay for anything" said Jen. That's why, cmelliott.

cmelliott · September 2013

KeptInStitches said:

@cmelliot, let's say you had a dinner party. You serve your guests pasta with chicken. You tell them if they pay extra, they can have lobster. You'd never do that, right? Cash bars are no different.

This is a good example. It was a little more explanatory than "because etiquette says so". However, I'm still not convinced a cash bar is the end of the world. I suppose you just can't change some people's minds lol.

Jen4948 · September 2013

cmelliott said:

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

You're missing the point, which is that it is rude to expect alcohol at a wedding. The hosts are not required to serve it. If they don't, or don't serve a full open bar, then it is not acceptable for a guest to expect to buy alcohol. If you feel that that makes the wedding less fun, then yes, you are welcome to leave early, but the hosts were not rude in not providing the alcohol. And if alcohol is more important to you than being there to celebrate with the hosts, I'm sure they'll be happy to see the back of you.

I never suggested that they were rude in not providing alcohol, I simply asked a question as to everyone's preference.

Preference does not make it polite to offer cash bars. They do not belong at weddings. Period.

I think people get too caught up in old school rules sometimes. I don't have a dog in this fight (I'm having a 5 hour fully open bar), but if I didn't have the funds to do so, I would see what my guests wanted and cater to their wants/needs. If they all preferred an open bar to a dry wedding, etiquette be damned, I'd give them what they wanted so as to be a good host and show them the best time possible within my means. I'm not going to go against all of my guests' wishes in the interest of observing age-old etiquette.
But then, this is the etiquette board, so people should expect to receive the traditional proper etiquette response. I just think that proper wedding etiquette may not always play out well in real life and sometimes you have to deviate from the norm in order to please your particular set of family/friends.

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

You're missing the point, which is that it is rude to expect alcohol at a wedding. The hosts are not required to serve it. If they don't, or don't serve a full open bar, then it is not acceptable for a guest to expect to buy alcohol. If you feel that that makes the wedding less fun, then yes, you are welcome to leave early, but the hosts were not rude in not providing the alcohol. And if alcohol is more important to you than being there to celebrate with the hosts, I'm sure they'll be happy to see the back of you.

I never suggested that they were rude in not providing alcohol, I simply asked a question as to everyone's preference.

Preference does not make it polite to offer cash bars. They do not belong at weddings. Period.

I think people get too caught up in old school rules sometimes. I don't have a dog in this fight (I'm having a 5 hour fully open bar), but if I didn't have the funds to do so, I would see what my guests wanted and cater to their wants/needs. If they all preferred an open bar to a dry wedding, etiquette be damned, I'd give them what they wanted so as to be a good host and show them the best time possible within my means. I'm not going to go against all of my guests' wishes in the interest of observing age-old etiquette.
But then, this is the etiquette board, so people should expect to receive the traditional proper etiquette response. I just think that proper wedding etiquette may not always play out well in real life and sometimes you have to deviate from the norm in order to please your particular set of family/friends.

Or your family and friends need to grow up and stop expecting alcohol at weddings that the couple doesn't want to pay for.

It has nothing to do with an expectation and everything to do with what may make the evening more enjoyable for them. And if my guests are going to have a better time if I give them a cash bar rather than have a dry wedding, I'm not going to deprive them of that option in the interest of simply "observing wedding etiquette." If you would, that's your prerogative, but I, and potentially others, prioritize differently. And to me, doing what my guests would prefer ranks higher than observing old wedding rules.

Agree, making everyone comfortable and happy is most important.

And are you making everyone "comfortable" and "happy" by sending them out to buy things you should be paying for if you want to make them available? No!

jenniferurs · September 2013

They're not forced to buy alcohol if they do not wish to. But if they prefer for the option to be there, I'm not sure why honoring their wishes would be the worst thing.

Jen4948 · September 2013

jenniferurs said:

They're not forced to buy alcohol if they do not wish to. But if they prefer for the option to be there, I'm not sure why honoring their wishes would be the worst thing.

Because it creates an unreasonable expectation that alcohol or something else the hosts don't want to provide should be present every time, even if the hosts can't afford it or don't want to serve it. It puts alcohol or the lack thereof over the feelings of the hosts.

And it's actually pretty inconsiderate and contemptuous of the hosts for the guests to run out and buy something the hosts are not offering.

cmelliott · September 2013

Jen4948 said:

jenniferurs said:

They're not forced to buy alcohol if they do not wish to. But if they prefer for the option to be there, I'm not sure why honoring their wishes would be the worst thing.

Because it creates an unreasonable expectation that alcohol or something else the hosts don't want to provide should be present every time, even if the hosts can't afford it or don't want to serve it. It puts alcohol or the lack thereof over the feelings of the hosts.

And it's actually pretty inconsiderate and contemptuous of the hosts for the guests to run out and buy something the hosts are not offering.

Unfortunately, alcohol is a big thing at parties so even if the hosts can't afford it, maybe they want it. A cash bar can even benefit the hosts and let them have some alcohol too when they couldn't afford an open bar. I've had guests request it of me to have alcohol, even if it was in form of cash bar so since I want it and the guests want it, why not have it?

RebeccaB88 · September 2013

jenniferurs said:

Putting etiquette aside...who here in this thread would prefer not to have the option of alcohol rather than having the option?

I'd much rather see a dry wedding than a cash bar. Dry weddings I can respect. I've been to a ton of them. They're no less fun to me than a wet one. A cash bar I would have ZERO respect for. I wouldn't have a cash bar if I was asked to, because alcohol is not necessary for a wedding and I am not going to charge my guests for anything, period. It's nice to have and it can lend a certain atmosphere to the party, but the marriage is no less valid without alcohol. If someone would rather pout about not getting to have a drink and go home early because of it...well, that's on them.

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