Friday Weddings Rude?

LizM61409 · September 2013

I'm a resident physician. I get 3 weeks vacation every year, which are decided and set in stone the spring before the academic year. We can request certain weeks but don't always get it. After the schedule is made there are NO CHANGES. Every single M-F the whole rest of the year I work no matter what. There is no such thing as taking a Friday off. To take a sick day you need to be sick enough to be in the hospital.

On top of that, I work roughly half the weekends- the weekend schedule is also worked out way in advance and many times it is possible to get a certain weekend off with advance notice but not always.

I would be horribly offended if I was unable to make a Friday wedding and the response of the bride was "well if she really wanted to be there she would have made it happen"

(I'm not offended by the Friday wedding per se, just the assumption of some on this board that everyone can make it if they try hard enough)

annathy03 · September 2013

EmilyMMcC said:
Viczaesar and NYCBruin - best of luck to both of you.

As I implied earlier, and as several others have said, the people that WANT to be there will make it happen. For my particular guests, none of them will be affected by taking a weekday afternoon off to get to my wedding. I know this because I know my guests.

The circumstances around being "rude" will not apply to everyone, regardless of what you think. Have a great day!

I call bullshit. You really think everyone can make it to every wedding they want to attend?! I moved away from my hometown/college town because of ya know, WORK, and flying back east eats a day so almost every wedding requires vacation for me..

In the first few years after college I got 2 weeks vacation, so a Friday wedding required 20% of my vacation for the entire year, 5 of those invites would have meant choosing between a wedding and going home for the holidays plus sacrificing any sort of traditional vacation.

And let's not act like that's not a possibility. In that period of life loads of friends tend to get married, and I flew home for 3 weddings just in May one year, and had 6 to attend that year total, 1 as a bridesmaid. I was only able to make all of them because they were on Saturdays or the Sunday of a 3 day weekend. I still wouldn't have found a Friday wedding rude, but I was fresh out of vacation and would have had to decline no matter how close we are. FI and I declined a NYE wedding that year of one of his best friends for that reason- come December 31st we couldn't take any more time off work, save the dates came after we'd booked flights for all the May weddings and gotten vacation schedules approved.

Millie T · September 2013

My fiance' and I are having a Friday morning wedding this coming October 25th. Also, someone in our wedding party had a Friday morning wedding. I haven't really had a high decline rate so far because those who can have worked it out with their job to get off. And those who can't get off, I totally understand. So, I never thought it's rude or inconvenient. I work EVERY Saturday so I've had to switch days off to attend a Saturday wedding, but I didn't think the couple was inconveniencing me. It is what it is.

EmilyMMcC · September 2013

annathy03 said:

Viczaesar and NYCBruin - best of luck to both of you.

As I implied earlier, and as several others have said, the people that WANT to be there will make it happen. For my particular guests, none of them will be affected by taking a weekday afternoon off to get to my wedding. I know this because I know my guests.

The circumstances around being "rude" will not apply to everyone, regardless of what you think. Have a great day!
I call bullshit. You really think everyone can make it to every wedding they want to attend?! I moved away from my hometown/college town because of ya know, WORK, and flying back east eats a day so almost every wedding requires vacation for me..

In the first few years after college I got 2 weeks vacation, so a Friday wedding required 20% of my vacation for the entire year, 5 of those invites would have meant choosing between a wedding and going home for the holidays plus sacrificing any sort of traditional vacation.

And let's not act like that's not a possibility. In that period of life loads of friends tend to get married, and I flew home for 3 weddings just in May one year, and had 6 to attend that year total, 1 as a bridesmaid. I was only able to make all of them because they were on Saturdays or the Sunday of a 3 day weekend. I still wouldn't have found a Friday wedding rude, but I was fresh out of vacation and would have had to decline no matter how close we are. FI and I declined a NYE wedding that year of one of his best friends for that reason- come December 31st we couldn't take any more time off work, save the dates came after we'd booked flights for all the May weddings and gotten vacation schedules approved.

Call bullshit, if you like. Those are your circumstances, not mine. My guests either work for themselves or have situations in which they can take an afternoon off to get to my wedding that evening. As I mentioned earlier, I know this because I know MY guests. Additonally, I'm not in my early 20s and neither are my guests - the common age in which a lot of people are jetting around the country attending multiple weddings.

Back to the original question, I still don't see how it's rude/inconsiderate to be invited to a wedding celebration on a Friday in which someone is a guest of the bride/groom. If you don't want to go because you think it's rude or you can't get the time off, then by all means, don't go. It should be up to the individuals planning and paying for the wedding to decide when works best for them. And for me, Friday works, thank you very much.

erinlin25 · September 2013

Not rude-- I had one, and we had nearly 100% attendance rate (and the people who did not come were people we knew were not coming anyway, and would not have come even if it was a Saturday). But just prepare that you may not have as high of an attendance rate depending on where it is at. Some people may want to come but may not be able to take the day off if needed.

lauracutter · September 2013

I'm doing my wedding on a Friday because it's literally half as expensive. I let my bridal party know the date 10 months ahead of time and none of them had a problem with a Friday wedding. We are also sending out our invitations early so our out of town guests have time to prepare. While a Saturday wedding would have been ideal, we are starting the ceremony at 6:30 and most of our in-town guests don't have children. Maybe if we were older and had a slew of mature friend with 9-5 jobs and kids we would have reconsidered, but we are young and most of our guests are too. I don't think it's rude. And out of town guests will be able to make a weekend of it, so we are happy with our decision.

Dreamergirl8812 · September 2013

EmilyMMcC said:

annathy03 said:

Viczaesar and NYCBruin - best of luck to both of you.

As I implied earlier, and as several others have said, the people that WANT to be there will make it happen. For my particular guests, none of them will be affected by taking a weekday afternoon off to get to my wedding. I know this because I know my guests.

The circumstances around being "rude" will not apply to everyone, regardless of what you think. Have a great day!
I call bullshit. You really think everyone can make it to every wedding they want to attend?! I moved away from my hometown/college town because of ya know, WORK, and flying back east eats a day so almost every wedding requires vacation for me..

In the first few years after college I got 2 weeks vacation, so a Friday wedding required 20% of my vacation for the entire year, 5 of those invites would have meant choosing between a wedding and going home for the holidays plus sacrificing any sort of traditional vacation.

And let's not act like that's not a possibility. In that period of life loads of friends tend to get married, and I flew home for 3 weddings just in May one year, and had 6 to attend that year total, 1 as a bridesmaid. I was only able to make all of them because they were on Saturdays or the Sunday of a 3 day weekend. I still wouldn't have found a Friday wedding rude, but I was fresh out of vacation and would have had to decline no matter how close we are. FI and I declined a NYE wedding that year of one of his best friends for that reason- come December 31st we couldn't take any more time off work, save the dates came after we'd booked flights for all the May weddings and gotten vacation schedules approved.

Call bullshit, if you like. Those are your circumstances, not mine. My guests either work for themselves or have situations in which they can take an afternoon off to get to my wedding that evening. As I mentioned earlier, I know this because I know MY guests. Additonally, I'm not in my early 20s and neither are my guests - the common age in which a lot of people are jetting around the country attending multiple weddings.

Back to the original question, I still don't see how it's rude/inconsiderate to be invited to a wedding celebration on a Friday in which someone is a guest of the bride/groom. If you don't want to go because you think it's rude or you can't get the time off, then by all means, don't go. It should be up to the individuals planning and paying for the wedding to decide when works best for them. And for me, Friday works, thank you very much.

What the fuck are you flipping out about? I'm having my wedding on a Thursday and was not offended by a single thing in this thread. No one was rude. Stop being defensive; not everything said is about you.

sylviafly5 · September 2013

I'd say "know your audience". While having your wedding at an inconvenient time is certainly not rude, if it's important to you to have high turn out you should consider the lifestyles of the people you're inviting.

For instance, if I had a lot of friends who worked hourly jobs or jobs with meager vacation pay, I'd think twice about expecting them to take time off/leave early. As it stands most of the people coming to our wedding are either retired (family), traveling from out of town (and would have to take time off anyway), or have flexible schedules because they are artists, self-employed, unemployed, etc. We strongly considered a Friday night wedding...but in the end realized it wouldn't work because of one terrible little word. TRAFFIC. Friday traffic in a huge metro area would put anyone in a bad mood.

NYCBruin · September 2013

EmilyMMcC said:

annathy03 said:

Viczaesar and NYCBruin - best of luck to both of you.

As I implied earlier, and as several others have said, the people that WANT to be there will make it happen. For my particular guests, none of them will be affected by taking a weekday afternoon off to get to my wedding. I know this because I know my guests.

The circumstances around being "rude" will not apply to everyone, regardless of what you think. Have a great day!
I call bullshit. You really think everyone can make it to every wedding they want to attend?! I moved away from my hometown/college town because of ya know, WORK, and flying back east eats a day so almost every wedding requires vacation for me..

In the first few years after college I got 2 weeks vacation, so a Friday wedding required 20% of my vacation for the entire year, 5 of those invites would have meant choosing between a wedding and going home for the holidays plus sacrificing any sort of traditional vacation.

And let's not act like that's not a possibility. In that period of life loads of friends tend to get married, and I flew home for 3 weddings just in May one year, and had 6 to attend that year total, 1 as a bridesmaid. I was only able to make all of them because they were on Saturdays or the Sunday of a 3 day weekend. I still wouldn't have found a Friday wedding rude, but I was fresh out of vacation and would have had to decline no matter how close we are. FI and I declined a NYE wedding that year of one of his best friends for that reason- come December 31st we couldn't take any more time off work, save the dates came after we'd booked flights for all the May weddings and gotten vacation schedules approved.

Call bullshit, if you like. Those are your circumstances, not mine. My guests either work for themselves or have situations in which they can take an afternoon off to get to my wedding that evening. As I mentioned earlier, I know this because I know MY guests. Additonally, I'm not in my early 20s and neither are my guests - the common age in which a lot of people are jetting around the country attending multiple weddings.

Back to the original question, I still don't see how it's rude/inconsiderate to be invited to a wedding celebration on a Friday in which someone is a guest of the bride/groom. If you don't want to go because you think it's rude or you can't get the time off, then by all means, don't go. It should be up to the individuals planning and paying for the wedding to decide when works best for them. And for me, Friday works, thank you very much.

Ummm almost no one said Friday weddings are rude. I certainly didn't. I said your attitude that if a guest declines it means they don't want to be there is rude as it is basically emotionally blackmailing your guests into attending. Have your Friday wedding. Just don't tell people that "if they really want to be there, they'll make it work." That's the rude part, not the Friday wedding part.

kylaroo2 · September 2013

I am having my wedding on a Friday and have thought about this. My thought was that anyone who would be willing to fly (especially from long distances) might not mind to take a day off work. If not, they can always decline.

Viczaesar · September 2013

EmilyMMcC said:

Viczaesar and NYCBruin - best of luck to both of you.

As I implied earlier, and as several others have said, the people that WANT to be there will make it happen. For my particular guests, none of them will be affected by taking a weekday afternoon off to get to my wedding. I know this because I know my guests.

The circumstances around being "rude" will not apply to everyone, regardless of what you think. Have a great day!

...unless they can't. How is this a difficult concept to grasp?

annathy03 · September 2013

NYCBruin said:

EmilyMMcC said:

annathy03 said:

Viczaesar and NYCBruin - best of luck to both of you.

As I implied earlier, and as several others have said, the people that WANT to be there will make it happen. For my particular guests, none of them will be affected by taking a weekday afternoon off to get to my wedding. I know this because I know my guests.

The circumstances around being "rude" will not apply to everyone, regardless of what you think. Have a great day!
I call bullshit. You really think everyone can make it to every wedding they want to attend?! I moved away from my hometown/college town because of ya know, WORK, and flying back east eats a day so almost every wedding requires vacation for me..

In the first few years after college I got 2 weeks vacation, so a Friday wedding required 20% of my vacation for the entire year, 5 of those invites would have meant choosing between a wedding and going home for the holidays plus sacrificing any sort of traditional vacation.

And let's not act like that's not a possibility. In that period of life loads of friends tend to get married, and I flew home for 3 weddings just in May one year, and had 6 to attend that year total, 1 as a bridesmaid. I was only able to make all of them because they were on Saturdays or the Sunday of a 3 day weekend. I still wouldn't have found a Friday wedding rude, but I was fresh out of vacation and would have had to decline no matter how close we are. FI and I declined a NYE wedding that year of one of his best friends for that reason- come December 31st we couldn't take any more time off work, save the dates came after we'd booked flights for all the May weddings and gotten vacation schedules approved.

Call bullshit, if you like. Those are your circumstances, not mine. My guests either work for themselves or have situations in which they can take an afternoon off to get to my wedding that evening. As I mentioned earlier, I know this because I know MY guests. Additonally, I'm not in my early 20s and neither are my guests - the common age in which a lot of people are jetting around the country attending multiple weddings.

Back to the original question, I still don't see how it's rude/inconsiderate to be invited to a wedding celebration on a Friday in which someone is a guest of the bride/groom. If you don't want to go because you think it's rude or you can't get the time off, then by all means, don't go. It should be up to the individuals planning and paying for the wedding to decide when works best for them. And for me, Friday works, thank you very much.

Ummm almost no one said Friday weddings are rude. I certainly didn't. I said your attitude that if a guest declines it means they don't want to be there is rude as it is basically emotionally blackmailing your guests into attending. Have your Friday wedding. Just don't tell people that "if they really want to be there, they'll make it work." That's the rude part, not the Friday wedding part.

Exactly, thank you NYC and Dreamer, I'm glad someone gets what I'm saying. Friday weddings aren't rude, but implying people don't care about you if they decline because they can't attend is rude no matter what day the wedding is. I was trying to point out that using an accept/decline response as a barometer for how important the friendship is to your guests is manipulative and THAT's what's rude, not the day of the week, because some people may flat out unable to come regardless of how much they would like to.

shelyg89 · September 2013

If your guests really want to be there, they will find a way to be there. Not to mention, during "wedding season" I feel like the majority of weddings and other events happen on a Saturday. That could actually, possibly, increase the chance some of your guests could make your Friday wedding.

NYCBruin · September 2013

shelyg89 said:
If your guests really want to be there, they will find a way to be there. Not to mention, during "wedding season" I feel like the majority of weddings and other events happen on a Saturday. That could actually, possibly, increase the chance some of your guests could make your Friday wedding.

Ummm no. That's not true. Sometimes people really want to attend a wedding but simply cannot. There are other things going on in people's lives besides your wedding. Read the rest of the thread.

Dreamergirl8812 · September 2013

shelyg89 said:

If your guests really want to be there, they will find a way to be there. Not to mention, during "wedding season" I feel like the majority of weddings and other events happen on a Saturday. That could actually, possibly, increase the chance some of your guests could make your Friday wedding.

Viczaesar · September 2013

Oy. How is this such a difficult concept for people to grasp?

shelyg89 · September 2013

All I'm saying is it's not the end of the world if some people can't make it. ugh...this is why people elope

mbrooke2008 · September 2013

I think if you are invited, you aren't obligated to go.. so it isn't rude per say. Maybe inconvenient. But ultimately, if they aren't that close of a friend.. you don't go, no big deal. And if they are, you go, and it's worth it because of the friendship you have with them.

MadHops21 · September 2013

I'm having my wedding on a Friday. I work Saturday-Wednesday during the early morning, and my FI's schedule is flexible. We are a young couple (about 21), so we really need to stay on budget if we plan on moving into our own home. A majority of our family have flexible schedules and friends are students, so it works out for the best. I am expecting declines, but it is understandable. I never thought of it as rude before. I had to call off work and find a replacement for my shift on a Saturday for my cousin's wedding this summer. I just think Saturday nights are the most common day and time for a wedding.

lizandmark2014 · September 2013

I do not believe it rude to have a Friday wedding.

lfk2013 · October 2013

Nicmorrison14 said:

^ lol I'm guilty. We are getting married Sunday of Memorial Weekend.

We're getting married Sunday of Columbus Day weekend. We did get a relatively high number of declines, but I had several people make a comment about how it's a Sunday in the morning. If my minister grandfather (who is marrying us) has no issue with it, then your argument is invalid.

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