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Customs and Traditions

Alternative Unity Ideas

Hey all,

Just wondering if anyone has any ideas on alternative unity ideas?  I know that I do not want to the the candle or the sand pouring.  My fiance and I are not religious at all, so something simple and quick would suffice.  I am also thinking about maybe just not doing anything at all, but I figured I would check to see if there were any other options that we may like.

Ashleigh :-)

Best Answer

Re: Alternative Unity Ideas

  • Scrap it.. my church actually doesn't allow it.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  •    I am doing a wine box, but this is mostly because FI and I love wine anyways.

       You and your spouse-to-be write a love letter that you do not share. You seal your letter in an envelope and at some point, give it to your officiant.

       During the actual wedding ceremony, your officiant can say something like this: “X and X have chosen to perform a Love Letter & Wine Box ceremony. For those of you who have never seen this before, this box contains a bottle of wine and a love letter from each to the other. The letters describe the good qualities they find in one another, the reasons they fell in love, and their hopes for their future together. The letters are sealed in individual envelopes and they have not seen what the other has written. Should the couple ever find their marriage facing hardships, they will open this box, sit and drink the wine together, then read the letters they wrote to one another to be reminded of the reasons why they are together. The hope is, however, that they will never have a reason to open this box. And if this is the case, they are to open this box to share and enjoy on their 5th year wedding anniversary, replenish and open on their 10th anniversary, and so on.” 

     At this point, some brides and grooms actually nail the wine box shut as a symbol that you will not need to open it for many years.

    [Deleted User]richter2melbelleup[Deleted User]
  • H and I did a love letter exchange. We wrote each other letters about why we're getting married and why we chose each other. We made a box, put them in the box as part of the ceremony and we'll read each others' letters at our anniversary. It took about 1 minute of ceremony time. It was cute - glad we did it.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    [Deleted User]melbelleup
  • I'm definitely leaning towards either nothing at all, or something very short.  I like all of these ideas so far!  Thank you all!
  • huynhette said:

    Hey all,

    Just wondering if anyone has any ideas on alternative unity ideas?  I know that I do not want to the the candle or the sand pouring.  My fiance and I are not religious at all, so something simple and quick would suffice.  I am also thinking about maybe just not doing anything at all, but I figured I would check to see if there were any other options that we may like.

    Ashleigh :-)

    You could just get married. Sorry I'm a smart ass. We looked and looked for a unity thing too, and honestly, we got to the point where we were like EFF IT! One less thing in our ceremony, makes it shorter, our guest don't have to sit as long, and we get to cocktail hour sooner. Unless something has huge significance to you just scrap the idea.


    Agreed. The only thing I've seen that I actually liked is the Unity Painting (Google it).

    It's practical and cool. You can use the art/canvas as decor in your home for years to come.

    My church didn't allow any sort of unity ceremonies besides getting married, so other than that, I'm not much help.

  • Some other ideas I have found:
    - Sand ceremony (pouring different colors of sand together)
    - Tree ceremony (planting a tree in a pot)
    - Glow ceremony (combine chemicals that glow; involves glow stick surgery or chemistry knowledge)
    - combining flowers into a bouquet
    - Diet Coke and Mentos ceremony (JK, though I bet someone's done it)
  • We are doing a foot washing. Not really a unity thing but sort of mattering on how you take the meaning behind it. 
    Married 11/12/05 ~ Renewed Our Vows 11/9/13. 

    "The LORD will fight for you, you need only be still."


    katieg520
  • I really like the wine box idea. Any suggestions for couples that don't drink? I don't want it to just be letters.
  • Personally I feel that if you can't find a unity tradition that truly speaks to you as a couple then you shold skip it all together...there is nothing worse then someone doing a unity ceremony beause its cute or trendy.  Please make sure you pick something with strong meaning or nothing at all
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    Personally I feel that if you can't find a unity tradition that truly speaks to you as a couple then you shold skip it all together...there is nothing worse then someone doing a unity ceremony beause its cute or trendy.  Please make sure you pick something with strong meaning or nothing at all
    This.

    Marriage is in and of itself a "unity ceremony."  If the ceremony without a unity tradition doesn't make you "married enough" or whatever it is you need, no unity ceremonies on top of that will do that-they will just take up everyone's time with cuteness.

    katieg520Latham101114
  • My fiance and I talked about this a lot since we don't drink either. However, we love books. So we decided that for our unity ceremony we're going to each place a book in a box with a dedication to each other. Then on our one year anniversary we'll reenact our first date and go to a bookstore where we'll each pick out a new book for the next anniversary. The book in the box for that anniversary will be one that we read over that year and then get to talk about with each other.
    thefuturemrshawks
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    -"unity paintings", where the bride and groom either paint on the same canvas or just drizzle two different coloured paints on the canvas. 
    -Tree planting ceremony 
    -rose ceremony 
    -water ceremony (like the sand ceremony, but the water turns colours)
    -breaking bread ceremony
    -The Truce Bell: it is rung during or after the ceremony and then put in their home.  When they start to argue, one of them can ring the truce bell, reminding them of their happiness and making a truce.
    image
    Latham101114
  • garnetandgold60garnetandgold60 Duuuvvvaaalll member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    What we're thinking about doing is a "knot tying"...my family has always been fisherman (commercial and recreational) and so the idea of us tying a nautical knot together has always stuck with me. Also, at my parent's wedding part of their ceremony was about how one rope alone is weak but two combined is stronger and unbearable, and that certain knots only get tighter when put under pressure, etc.
    Just my thought, hope it helps!
    Anniversary
  • My FI and I are doing a hand ceremony. I am so looking forward to this.

  •  

    katieg520 said:
    My FI and I are doing a hand ceremony. I am so looking forward to this.
    ? you mean a handfasting? Or something else??

    doeydoGypsyWife_
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