Wedding Reception Forum

Small Wedding Woes

jenn77bjenn77b member
First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
edited September 2013 in Wedding Reception Forum
I'm in the very early idea gathering stages, and my FI has made it clear that he only wants a very small wedding and liked his brother's wedding in which it was just a dinner at a nice restaurant (it was his second wedding, so they kept it simple/small).  Well, I did like the idea of having it small and intimate, but there was no dancing...and I feel like I want some sort of dancing/party atmosphere.  I think I'd regret it if I didn't have that element.  But if we're only going to have 30-40 people, I'm torn with what type of venue to use and whether it will be worth it to hire a DJ for such few people.  If we choose a restaurant I feel like we won't be able to have the dancing element.  If we choose something more wedding-venue like, I'm afraid it will feel too big.  I feel like the dancing element won't be that fun with such few people.  What have others done with small weddings I guess is my question to you all?

P.S. Ideally we will have the ceremony at the same location...very short and simple.

Re: Small Wedding Woes

  • You can definitely have a DJ and dancing in a restaurant! When you're looking, go for a private room and ask the restaurant if they will let you have a DJ and set up a dance floor space. I've even seen dancing and a DJ at a 40 person brunch restaurant wedding. As long as you're up there dancing, people will join in.
  • jenn77b said:
    I'm in the very early idea gathering stages, and my FI has made it clear that he only wants a very small wedding and liked his brother's wedding in which it was just a dinner at a nice restaurant (it was his second wedding, so they kept it simple/small).  Well, I did like the idea of having it small and intimate, but there was no dancing...and I feel like I want some sort of dancing/party atmosphere.  I think I'd regret it if I didn't have that element.  But if we're only going to have 30-40 people, I'm torn with what type of venue to use and whether it will be worth it to hire a DJ for such few people.  If we choose a restaurant I feel like we won't be able to have the dancing element.  If we choose something more wedding-venue like, I'm afraid it will feel too big.  I feel like the dancing element won't be that fun with such few people.  What have others done with small weddings I guess is my question to you all?

    P.S. Ideally we will have the ceremony at the same location...very short and simple.
    I think your compromise with your FH sounds very nice - he gets his small wedding and you get your dancing. Because what you want is unique, I think you need to make clear your plans to the venues you're looking at. If you want a DJ and space to dance, you'll have to look at rooms that accommodate more than your ideal party size so there's a clear dining space and dance floor space. 
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  • Thanks, I appreciate the feedback.  I guess I shouldn't rule out some of my fav restaurants just yet!  There are a few that have an upstairs space for private parties, but I just wasn't sure about whether they would allow a DJ since it might be too loud for the downstairs dining room.  I will have to ask. 

    And you're right, I need to set the "tone" of the dancing...and a DJ can definitely help by playing the right music. 
  • jenn77b said:
    Thanks, I appreciate the feedback.  I guess I shouldn't rule out some of my fav restaurants just yet!  There are a few that have an upstairs space for private parties, but I just wasn't sure about whether they would allow a DJ since it might be too loud for the downstairs dining room.  I will have to ask. 

    And you're right, I need to set the "tone" of the dancing...and a DJ can definitely help by playing the right music. 

    With a 40-person wedding, you're not going to want music blasting, anyways.

    It will be fine.

  • We are only having about 30 people at our wedding. We talked to the venue where we wanted to have our wedding and they actually had a completely different space than their main ballroom that we could use. They use it for meetings and stuff, but it's actually nicer than their main ballroom. It will fit our wedding perfectly and we can do anything we want there. When you talk to venues ask them if they have any other spaces besides their main ballroom.
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  • Another option for you, if you still wanted to keep things small but wanted a venue that's not a restaurant, is to look into local historic inns, B&Bs, etc. I know that I looked at several that were fantastic, but their max capacity was 50 or 60 people, so that wouldn't have worked for us.
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  • jenn77bjenn77b member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2013
    Thanks all for the tips. I did contact our favorite restaurant that does have a private space with an awesome atmosphere but they do not allow DJs because it will disrupt the folks dining on the first floor, plus they don't have room for a DJ to set up anyway. They have a sort of sister venue that is typically a champagne bar that they use for private events that can hold up to 120 and the food they use are selections from two of the sister restaurants that we love. It's a little more modern than I'd like, but the food would be amazing and they have room for a ceremony and a built-in DJ booth. This may be a good option for us. I am considering the fact that some hotels have their smaller meeting rooms, as someone said above. I just worry that these rooms lack personality, but I will just have to see them in person. The problem with most of these hotels is that if you have a smaller count of people, they will not guarantee which of their smaller rooms you will get. I did consider B&b's, but they tend to be pricey from what I've gathered ( in my area anyway). There are only one or two in my area that do events and they rely on use of outdoor space which I don't really want. I prefer indoors for the majority of the event.
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