FI & I are both vegetarians, how to handle feeding guests

aurorajanette · September 2013

zobird said:

Yeah, I really don't find it okay that your FMIL isn't serving vegetarian options when the two guests of honor are vegetarians. Your FI really should ask his mom to provide some veggie burgers or a filling salad for you. She may be catering to the masses, but there's a large chunk of people she's ignoring. He can offer to pay. I really hope she declines that, though. By the way, the sweet potato gnocchi sounds AWESOME. I actually make sweet potato gnocchi - with sage and brown butter. So good. I'd eat that right up.

I was just about to post the bolded. Veggie burgers are so good, and you can buy a box of six for a few bucks at Target or any food store. I feel like it's not too much to ask to have an option you can eat at your own RD.

laylasaurus · September 2013

There's nothing wrong with having a vegetarian dinner. Honestly, I don't think you have to cater your food to all your guests tastes. Are you providing a few options that people could make a meal of? yes. Will there be enough for everyone to have a full meal? yes. I've been to plenty of weddings where the dry, boring chicken that was served didn't ruin the whole experience for me. I was fed, I was hosted, I had fun. I think most adults accept that when they intend such an event, they aren't going to get their most favorite dish in the world. Some people are exceedingly picky, not your problem. As long as people with special dietary needs are taken care of, you don't have to cater your meal to what everyone specifically wants, especially since you are paying for it.

If you did want to provide some meat, maybe try and go with something organic and farm/pasture raised, which would be more expensive, but at least would cater somewhat to your values.

As far as the RD, even if your FMIL is paying for it, she still has to consider the needs of your guests. If there are vegetarians, there needs to be food that they can eat and make a meal of. Period. Paying for it lets her have a say, but doesn't give her the right to improperly host those attending.

southernbelle0915 · September 2013

sweet mother mary, this is refreshing to read versus the offbeat vegan shenanigans.

WonderRed · September 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

sweet mother mary, this is refreshing to read versus the offbeat vegan shenanigans.

Seriously! Her holier than thou horror when I dared suggest that she might use this post as a guide to answer some of her identical and absolutely related questions.

My bad for not realizing that vegetarians are as equally horriffic human being as the rest of us evil meat eaters. If you'll excuse me now, I'm going to go try to save my damned soul by eating an organically grown celery stick.

(OP... I hope you know this post has NOTHING to do with you. You are absolutely lovely. No sarcasm at all in that.)

LondonLisa · September 2013

I have married friends who are both vegans from rural, meat-loving families. For their wedding they had a great vegetarian chef who made the most amazing food. They didn't mention go overboard to announce that it was meat free. For example, they had a curry station with the most delicious and fragrant Indian food: samosas, saag paneer etc. A lot of their family members had no idea that it was all vegetarian food because it tasted so good and in their heads vegetarian= celery and lettuce leafs. They also had a great time trying new foods. Just serve the food you want but don't make a big deal of it being vegetarian. It isn't rude to serve vegetarian food at all in the same way that it isn't rude to not serve pork at a Muslim or Jewish wedding.

Your only responsibility is to host your guests for food and drink. At the end of the day if it tastes awesome I'll be happy (and I'm a total carnivore).

marshmallow1982 · September 2013

I think people would be shocked if two veggies served meat at their wedding. Don't feel pressured to do it. I'm thinking of reception at the Wynn Buffet (vegas) so that would leave it up to my guests. Although it could still mean I'm paying for meat which im not really comfortable with. I'll have to give it some more thought

monkeysip · September 2013

I agree with PPs that it might be nice to add an additional pasta for the pickier eaters (if possible), but as a major carnivore, I could still eat what you have planned.

I totally agree that having a veggie only wedding is perfectly fine. Especially if you're a vegetarian for moral reasons--it would be absolutely ridiculous to expect you to violate your beliefs so that people could eat meat.

scully931 · September 2013

I had a completely vegetarian rehearsal dinner and reception. No one died. Or even complained.

kmmssg · September 2013

I'm with everyone else - you are doing nothing rude, but I encourage you to add the pasta entree. Of course, my opinion on that might be tainted by the fact that I detest sweet potatoes. I wish I could like them because they are so healthy and good for you but they just taste awful to me.

crunchymamaof2 · September 2013

I'm probably one of the world's pickiest eaters, second only to my FH. I'd love the veggie lasagna and if you included a simple spaghetti with marinara he'd be a very happy camper. But even he'd survive without that extra.

You can't please everyone all of the time. As long as you're providing a substantial amount of food that the majority of guests would be happy with and you don't charge them for anything then you are 100% fine. If it's okay for non drinkers to have a dry wedding why can't vegetarians have a meat free wedding?

I would definitely have your FH say something to your FMIL. I don't think it would be wrong of you to do that. I also like the idea of asking the caterer to make the beans meat free.

WonderRed said:

southernbelle0915 said:

sweet mother mary, this is refreshing to read versus the offbeat vegan shenanigans.

Seriously! Her holier than thou horror when I dared suggest that she might use this post as a guide to answer some of her identical and absolutely related questions.

My bad for not realizing that vegetarians are as equally horriffic human being as the rest of us evil meat eaters. If you'll excuse me now, I'm going to go try to save my damned soul by eating an organically grown celery stick.

(OP... I hope you know this post has NOTHING to do with you. You are absolutely lovely. No sarcasm at all in that.)

I gotta go read this one. I need to start venturing away from the E board once in awhile...apparently the crazies are everywhere!

MandyMost · September 2013

I think your menu is absolutely fine as-is. You could be serving chicken, mashed potatoes, and carrots, and you'd still get a whole bunch of crazy-picky eaters being all "eeeeeeewwww, I don't like roast chicken! I only eat boneless breasts", "Mashed potatoes are gross. You should add some rice as an option", or "I can't eat carrots. Peas would be a better option". The food you're offering is a perfectly reasonable spread of food. Anyone who is so picky about eating that they wouldn't consume those dishes should be someone who knows that they're picky and will plan to eat a heavy snack before hand or something.

phira · September 2013

I think that while you want to make sure everyone has a delicious meal ... not everyone is going to like what you serve. The key is to make sure that everyone is able to eat SOMETHING.

Having an all vegan wedding? As long as you don't preach at the omnivores, I'm game. I can eat vegan food. I might prefer a steak, but it's not like my dietary restrictions exclude eggplant.

We're aiming for gluten-free first course and entrees (including one that's also vegan) so that at least everyone can eat dinner. Unfortunately, we're not selecting all gluten-free appetizers (probably not vegan ones either), and our cake is going to be hella not-gluten-free.

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