Mini rant and question about reception invite wording

angie1623 · September 2013

Ok, so my loving fiancé is helping me make the invitations through instaprint. Well the first set of invitations and rsvp cards were ugly, very ugly. So, we got a better sample and ordered others which are great. One problem: in the rsvp card (we're doing online rsvp) in the back it says the name and address of reception and the time it starts. Well, fiancé put cocktail hour at 5 reception at 6. I lost it. The ceremony is at 4 in an Episcopal church that can very well take an hour, so no way cocktail hour is at 5pm.

So, once again fiancé ordered a different set of rsvp card info. I looked at it before he printed them and it only said cocktail hour at 6pm, I told him specifically no, I just want it like the last one but just change the times. They get here today and guess what? it only says cocktail hour at 6pm, it does not mention the reception.

I know this is probably not a big deal at all, but I'm a worrier and with this wedding so close it is becoming worse. My question is: guests will be able to tell that the cocktail hour time is followed by a reception right? and that this wedding won't just have a cocktail hour.

I'm not sure if this post makes much sense but I just had to get it off my chest.

STARMOON44 · September 2013

I don't understand. Is your venue an hour away from the church? The cocktail hour should start as soon as the guests arrive at the venue. The invites don't need to spell out "cocktail hour" and "reception" they can just say "reception to follow at 5 pm" or "dinner and dancing at 6pm". The cocktail hour is part of the reception.

misshart00 · September 2013

STARMOON44 said:

I don't understand. Is your venue an hour away from the church? The cocktail hour should start as soon as the guests arrive at the venue. The invites don't need to spell out "cocktail hour" and "reception" they can just say "reception to follow at 5 pm" or "dinner and dancing at 6pm". The cocktail hour is part of the reception.

This. If your wedding starts at 4 and will last approximately an hour, then your cocktail hour needs to start at 5. And you don't need to spell out the itinerary. Just say reception to follow.

angie1623 · September 2013

The reception is actually close by, but there is a lot of traffic and with parking it will take about 45 mins for guest to get there. Also, the ceremony might run a little over 5pm.

The inserts have already been ordered. I just want to know that just having "cocktail hour at 6pm" would not make the guests think that there is no reception afterwards.

misshart00 · September 2013

angie1623 said:

The reception is actually close by, but there is a lot of traffic and with parking it will take about 45 mins for guest to get there. Also, the ceremony might run a little over 5pm.

The inserts have already been ordered. I just want to know that just having "cocktail hour at 6pm" would not make the guests think that there is no reception afterwards.

I would assume there's a reception after since it's at a meal time. Edit: I agree with starmoon. Spread it by word of mouth since its not entirely clear. Or print new ones.

STARMOON44 · September 2013

Well if they've already been ordered what's the point of asking? It should be earlier and it does sound like just a cocktail hour. I'd spread the dinner/dancing part by word of mouth.

angie1623 · September 2013

We can always order them again... of course at this point my fiancé will kill me.

The cocktail hour/reception place is not at the church, there is no way my guests can transport themselves to the reception place by 5pm, when the ceremony may very well still be going on.

Fran1985 · September 2013

That's the beauty of the cocktail hour though. It's like a cushion so there no gap. I think my guest will be arriving at 4 so I'm scheduling cocktail hour to begin at 330 in case church ends earlier than expected. I've never seen cocktail hour scheduled on an invite. I'd reprint if possible with "reception to follow" that way if it's 5 or 530 or 6 guests will know there's no gap

angie1623 · September 2013

Ok, in the invite it does say reception to follow, of course I got paranoid and asked my fiancé to in the back of the insert/rsvp card put the name and address of reception place so guests would not think that it is in the churchs' basement.

I thought having a time in there would be best for the guests but maybe not?

Of course all of this information is also in the website we have, but I'm an anxious person and worry about these things.

Asking again though would just having the back of an insert that says cocktail hour 6pm make you think that there is no reception?

APDSS22 · September 2013

Do Episcopal ceremonies usually last that long? I had a full Catholic mass and it lasted almost exactly an hour.

If your ceremony is likely going to last more than an hour, maybe have the cocktail hour starting at 5:30/5:45pm? I would ask your officiant when the ceremony should wrap up so you have a more definite time if you want to put the time on the cards. If it starts a little ahead of your guests arriving that should be fine so everything will be ready when they get there. Maybe order another set with "reception to follow" or the reception and a time only? (Since the cocktail hour is part of the reception).

angie1623 · September 2013

It all depends on if the ceremony will have communion. If it doesn't it should end around the hour mark maybe slightly less, if it does it could be an hour fifteen minutes or 1.5.

I have not decided yet on this part.

Well fiancé is not going for the "order new ones" talk. He mentioned that in the back of the insert it also says reception to follow and people should be able to figure it out

I hope so.

HisGirlFriday13 · September 2013

All of this is making my head hurt. What I surmise from all of this is that your fiance keeps screwing up the invites and RSVPs, so how about YOU order them and YOU proof-read them and YOU take responsibility for them being perfect?

That being said, yes if I saw "cocktail hour," even if it were over a meal hour, I'd assume it was cocktails only, because I have been to far too many weddings where people have done just that. Even though reception at a meal time *SHOULD* = a meal, I have been to several weddings where that wasn't the case.

angie1623 · September 2013

I actually did tell him exactly how it should be when he showed it to me, but it did not help. If I was tech savvy and understood his little design deal and vista print thing I would have done it myself and saved all this headache.

That stink about having a wedding reception without food. I made sure to get a great caterer and a fabulous dinner selection only now for my guests to think that they are not receiving a meal.

I'm thinking I could just use the old ones that state cocktail hour at 5pm and reception at 6pm, even if I do not think that anyone would be at the cocktail/reception place by 5pm.

clg1213 · September 2013

If it was just the insert, I'd think it was just cocktail hour. And, assuming I knew the area, I'd be kinda annoyed at having to trek 45min from the ceremony for a drink and appetizers.

HOWEVER, your invite says "reception to follow" and your website will too. If I was trying to decide which to go by, I'd personally let the website trump given that it can be altered as needed. Do be sure to throw in something like "After the ceremony, guests are invited to join us at XYZ for a cocktail hour followed by dinner and dancing."

Takeaway - Yes, the card would confuse me, but the other pieces would make it clear that there's a reception.

crunchymamaof2 · September 2013

Here's a solution that wouldn't be the prettiest but since it's just the back of the reply card I wouldn't see an issue: Why not just get white or colored labels and print the correct info on those and stick them on the card. You could get all Martha Stewart and make it look fancier but at this point, unless you plan on ordering more inserts, I don't see much else you could do.

Maggie0829 · September 2013

I still don't understand the need to spell out the itinerary. Since the invites say "reception to follow" that is all that is needed. Most people are smart enough to realize that there is most likely a cocktail hour and then the reception starts. You don't need to spell it out or tell them the start and end times.

I also like @acove2006 solution. May not be the prettiest but it will save you from ordering more and then the correct information that you want will be on the cards.

angie1623 · September 2013

Yes, probably stickers will end up going over it, or another insert that would spell out directions from church to venue and stating reception start time at 6pm.

angie1623 · September 2013

Doing most pictures before and then pics for him and me only afterwards, so yeah I'll figure out a way to let them know it is at 6pm.

@Maggie, my fiancé said that most people should be smart enough to figure it out. So here is hoping.

southernbelle0915 · September 2013

I'm sorry, angie. What a mess!

Honestly, I would re-order them. Again. I know, it sucks, but I just would to avoid any confusion and be clear about what's happening. I would handcuff yourself (not really) to your FI and sit there with him as the two of you word it together. When it's the way you want it, I would watch him click "order". Sucks that you need to micromanage, but it's either that or have sloppy invites...

Kate61487 · September 2013

I'm confused why this is all printed on the back of the RSVP instead of a reception insert like it should be. I wouldn't consciously think to look on the back of an RSVP for more info. I might happen to notice it, but I wouldn't intentionally look.

If you're going to re-print or do stickers I would either do reception at X time or cocktail hour X time dinner Y time. You don't need to spell out the whole itinerary, but if you're only giving one time I think you should call it the reception b/c calling it cocktail hour makes it seem like it's JUST a cocktail hour. The simple "reception to follow" bit is fine, as PP mentioned, schedule-wise. But since it's in a different location it really should have had its own insert with the address.

angie1623 · September 2013

Thanks! I know it is a big mess

Mini rant and question about reception invite wording

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