Asking guests to fill out envelopes

banana468 · September 2013

The worst instance was at a birthday party for a 6 year old. We were eating dessert and grandma stopped our eating to write down our address.

Then the TY note arrived: it was a 2x2"square piece of paper that was clearly written once and then C&Pd like clip art throughout a sheet of paper and it made zero reference to the gift. We put more effort into that note than the kid.

southernbelle0915 · September 2013

What makes no sense to me about this lazy/stupid activity is that it's so pointless. The hostess and/or bride already has everyone's address or they wouldn't have been invited to the shower in the first place. So why make people do this when it takes two seconds to write out the addresses yourself?

I will say though that the hostesses of my shower (God bless these women - dear family friends) did this without me knowing. *cringe!!!* I found out when they called for everyone's attention and asked me to draw a name out of a bowl for a raffle prize. I turned my head away and pulled out a self-addressed envelope. Holy shit - I was totally mortified. They had gone around while people were mingling and I did not catch it. SO that said - to all you etiquette ladies out there... in hindsight, should I have:

a) told them when they offered to throw me a shower not to do this tacky shit? Or does that fall into the micromanaging of shower activities which the bride should not dictate?

b) just used the damn envelopes since people had already taken the time to address them?

c) NOT used the envelopes and addressed my own pretending like it never happened?

itzMS · September 2013

I'm late to the party.

Agreed this is annoying.

It always creeps me out to get an envelope self-addressed in my own handwriting :-)

AprilH81 · September 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

What makes no sense to me about this lazy/stupid activity is that it's so pointless. The hostess and/or bride already has everyone's address or they wouldn't have been invited to the shower in the first place. So why make people do this when it takes two seconds to write out the addresses yourself?

I will say though that the hostesses of my shower (God bless these women - dear family friends) did this without me knowing. *cringe!!!* I found out when they called for everyone's attention and asked me to draw a name out of a bowl for a raffle prize. I turned my head away and pulled out a self-addressed envelope. Holy shit - I was totally mortified. They had gone around while people were mingling and I did not catch it. SO that said - to all you etiquette ladies out there... in hindsight, should I have:

a) told them when they offered to throw me a shower not to do this tacky shit? Or does that fall into the micromanaging of shower activities which the bride should not dictate?
b) just used the damn envelopes since people had already taken the time to address them?
c) NOT used the envelopes and addressed my own pretending like it never happened?

I probably would have just written out new envelopes and hope that the guests forgot all about it.

photokitty · September 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

What makes no sense to me about this lazy/stupid activity is that it's so pointless. The hostess and/or bride already has everyone's address or they wouldn't have been invited to the shower in the first place. So why make people do this when it takes two seconds to write out the addresses yourself?

I will say though that the hostesses of my shower (God bless these women - dear family friends) did this without me knowing. *cringe!!!* I found out when they called for everyone's attention and asked me to draw a name out of a bowl for a raffle prize. I turned my head away and pulled out a self-addressed envelope. Holy shit - I was totally mortified. They had gone around while people were mingling and I did not catch it. SO that said - to all you etiquette ladies out there... in hindsight, should I have:

a) told them when they offered to throw me a shower not to do this tacky shit? Or does that fall into the micromanaging of shower activities which the bride should not dictate?
b) just used the damn envelopes since people had already taken the time to address them?
c) NOT used the envelopes and addressed my own pretending like it never happened?

I probably would have used them, seems wasteful to toss them, and in the thank you note thanked them for self addressing the envelope - maybe add something like I never would have thought of asking guests to do that, new tree perhaps? But then I'd risk insulting the hostess. I would have not done A as it would not have occurred to me that it might happen.

Jen4948 · September 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

What makes no sense to me about this lazy/stupid activity is that it's so pointless. The hostess and/or bride already has everyone's address or they wouldn't have been invited to the shower in the first place. So why make people do this when it takes two seconds to write out the addresses yourself?

I will say though that the hostesses of my shower (God bless these women - dear family friends) did this without me knowing. *cringe!!!* I found out when they called for everyone's attention and asked me to draw a name out of a bowl for a raffle prize. I turned my head away and pulled out a self-addressed envelope. Holy shit - I was totally mortified. They had gone around while people were mingling and I did not catch it. SO that said - to all you etiquette ladies out there... in hindsight, should I have:

a) told them when they offered to throw me a shower not to do this tacky shit? Or does that fall into the micromanaging of shower activities which the bride should not dictate?
b) just used the damn envelopes since people had already taken the time to address them?
c) NOT used the envelopes and addressed my own pretending like it never happened?

I think I'd write out my own envelopes for shower thank-yous, but saved the self-addressed envelopes for holiday cards or something non-wedding related. At least that way you'd still be polite and send a thank-you note you addressed, but the self-addressed envelopes wouldn't go to waste.

Asking guests to fill out envelopes

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