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performing the ceremony

atthepalmsatthepalms member
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi there
I have a dilemma and am hoping someone can clarify.
My husband and I are finally planning our formal wedding; and would like our very good friend to perform the ceremony (we went to New York's city hall and got married a few months ago)
Since we're already legally married does our friend still have to get ordained?
be well!

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Re: performing the ceremony

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Congratulations on being married! Since you've made the decision to get married at city hall, you can't have another ceremony. What you can do, however, is throw a really cool party for your friends and family to celebrate your marriage - but this is not a reception. Go ahead and have good food, dancing, a DJ, whatever else you would have done, but don't cut a cake or have any spotlight dances. Essentially, no trappings of a wedding - no bridal party, no showers, no bachelorette party, etc.
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  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    To answer your question, no, the friend doesn't have to be ordained.  Why? Because you're already legally married. There will be nothing legal about this new one.  The ordination is only to make it legal.  Why are you having a "formal ceremony" now?  Just have a big party celebrating your marriage.
    Report Reply
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    atthepalms said:
    Hi there
    I have a dilemma and am hoping someone can clarify.
    My husband and I are finally planning our formal wedding; and would like our very good friend to perform the ceremony (we went to New York's city hall and got married a few months ago)
    Since we're already legally married does our friend still have to get ordained?
    be well!

    WTF regs.



    Anniversary
    image

    image
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Agree with previous poster.  You will already be married so there is not point for your friend to get ordained because he won't be performing a wedding ceremony, he will be performing a vow renewal.

    Why not just have a big celebratory party and skip the fake ceremony?

    Report Reply
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    @dreamergirl8812, quoting's an extra mouse click - I'm far too lazy for that!
    Report Reply
  • SunriseAmberSunriseAmber member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary
    This has to be mud. There is no way someone on TK still doesn't know that this is wrong.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    MS, where can I get sparkly unicorn font?!?!  


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    atthepalms said:
    Hi there
    I have a dilemma and am hoping someone can clarify.
    My husband and I are finally planning our formal wedding; and would like our very good friend to perform the ceremony (we went to New York's city hall and got married a few months ago)
    Since we're already legally married does our friend still have to get ordained?
    be well!
    Hi atthepalms - congratulations on your marriage!!! Since you're already married, you can't have another wedding unless you get divorced first (your wedding was at City Hall). BUT you can definitely throw an awesome party and invite your friend and. Hire a caterer, have a fancy dinner, open the bar, buy a kick ass party dress, hire a DJ, etc. But since you're already married there aren't any ceremonies, "first" dances, introductions, cake cutting - you get the idea.

    The thing is that any ceremony you do will be fake (since you're a wife - not a bride and your husband is not a groom) and it's super rude/offensive to put on a fake ceremony.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    AddieL73 said:
    MS, where can I get sparkly unicorn font?!?!  


    Lisa Frank dot com
    image



    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Report Reply
  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    show previous quotes
    Lisa Frank dot com
    image



    It might cost you a $60,000 canary yellow diamond ring to get it though. It's only for us rich peeeepz.

    ;-)

    I will hopefully locate a speshul snoflake font for cheaper.

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    itzMS said:
    show previous quotes

    I will hopefully locate a speshul snoflake font for cheaper.

    Please do. I have no money left. I spent it all on rhinestoned hoodies for my 19-member houseparty b/c I wanted them to feel included. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    AddieL73 said:
    show previous quotes
    Please do. I have no money left. I spent it all on rhinestoned hoodies for my 19-member houseparty b/c I wanted them to feel included. 
    Hoodies?  You so tacky, girl!  I am giving everyone matching strassed Victoria's Secret Bombshell bras.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Report Reply
  • atthepalmsatthepalms member
    agreed!
    thank you! it all makes sense.
    i will have a great celebratory gathering to renew my vows!
    no ordination necessary!

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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited September 2013
    atthepalms said:
    agreed!
    thank you! it all makes sense.
    i will have a great celebratory gathering to renew my vows!
    no ordination necessary!

    image
    ETA: ^^That's not sarcastic.



    Anniversary
    image

    image
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Now why didn't I think of that, PGL?!?!    
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    atthepalms said:

    Hi there
    I have a dilemma and am hoping someone can clarify.
    My husband and I are finally planning our formal wedding; and would like ourgood friend to perform the ceremony (we went to New York's city hall and got married a few months ago)
    Since we're already legally married does our friend still have to get ordained?
    be well!

    No. No. No. No. You're already married. You shouldn't be having a fake wedding.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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