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Giving Separated Guests a +1

lbrown14lbrown14 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have two male relatives that are recently separated from their wives.  Their spouses are not invited to the wedding as both are no longer friendly with their spouse and I am not close with their spouses either.  My question is, should they be given a plus one?  Both are in new relationships, but these women happen to be people they were with while they were married (which ultimately lead to them getting separated).  My sister believes inviting the "other woman" to the wedding is inappropriate if they are not officially divorced from their wife. I have not met either of these women, but was under the impression I should invite them with their new partner as that is who they are currently with. 
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Re: Giving Separated Guests a +1

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    lbrown14 said:
    I have two male relatives that are recently separated from their wives.  Their spouses are not invited to the wedding as both are no longer friendly with their spouse and I am not close with their spouses either.  My question is, should they be given a plus one?  Both are in new relationships, but these women happen to be people they were with while they were married (which ultimately lead to them getting separated).  My sister believes inviting the "other woman" to the wedding is inappropriate if they are not officially divorced from their wife. I have not met either of these women, but was under the impression I should invite them with their new partner as that is who they are currently with. 
    It doesn't matter how their relationships started, they need to be invited together.  Your cousins need to be invited with their girlfriends, by name, not + guest.
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  • doeydodoeydo member
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    I have two male relatives that are recently separated from their wives.  Their spouses are not invited to the wedding as both are no longer friendly with their spouse and I am not close with their spouses either.  My question is, should they be given a plus one?  Both are in new relationships, but these women happen to be people they were with while they were married (which ultimately lead to them getting separated).  My sister believes inviting the "other woman" to the wedding is inappropriate if they are not officially divorced from their wife. I have not met either of these women, but was under the impression I should invite them with their new partner as that is who they are currently with. 
    *stuck in box*
    You have to invite everyone's significant other.  If you want to invite these men, you are obligated to invite their "new" girlfriends.  These are not "plus ones".  Plus ones are for single guests. 
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  • doeydodoeydo member
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    edited September 2013
    Edit: accidental double post
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    If you're inviting the men then you need to invite their SOs.   I'd ask your sister why it's fine to invite one half of the adulterous relationship but not the other.  After all, I highly doubt these men were sitting around when the women forced themselves onto their naked private 'members'.

    This is assuming that they're actually separated and the relationship is public. 
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  • MoonlightSilverMoonlightSilver member
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    If you're okay inviting these two men who began seeing new people while still in an active relationship, then you need to invite their girlfriends by name with them. 
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  • Fairyjen1Fairyjen1 member
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    No way, no how would I invite them, the men or their new girlfriends. My FI's first marriage broke up due to infidelity (on her part, not his), and he wouldn't be comfortable with active adulterer's at a celebration of marriage. He's very sensitive about it.

    This is just my situation, however, I realize everyone doesn't feel as strongly about it as we do. Fortunately we don't have any (known) adulterer's on the invite list. 
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  • blabla89blabla89 member
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    @fairyjen1 sounds a little harsh...but if you really aren't comfortable with the situation and the men aren't close relatives (I can't tell from your post), then maybe it's best just not to invite them. But yes, if you invite them then you need to invite the girlfriends by name.
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  • cideficidefi member
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    Fairyjen1 said:

    No way, no how would I invite them, the men or their new girlfriends. My FI's first marriage broke up due to infidelity (on her part, not his), and he wouldn't be comfortable with active adulterer's at a celebration of marriage. He's very sensitive about it.


    This is just my situation, however, I realize everyone doesn't feel as strongly about it as we do. Fortunately we don't have any (known) adulterer's on the invite list. 
    I SSSOOO TOTALLY AGREE!!!

    There is no way on this earth that I would invite someone's SO to a wedding when their having an affair!! Are you crazy...no way in hell. That would be like me saying "Hey Im getting married, and believe in marriage vows, but obviously you don't. Since you're family and I invited you, its ok for to bring your chicky whore on the side!!". Uuummm no not ever. Fuck some etiquette.

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