Moms and Maids

Bridesmaid gift - Robes

I was really set on getting all the bridesmaids robes, but now I am seeing how everyone hates getting them. I actually really want one right now, so I don't know if that has been influencing my decision. Any ideas other than robes or jewelry to wear the day of, or are those gifts ok?
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Re: Bridesmaid gift - Robes

  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    krystinp3 said:
    I was really set on getting all the bridesmaids robes, but now I am seeing how everyone hates getting them. I actually really want one right now, so I don't know if that has been influencing my decision. Any ideas other than robes or jewelry to wear the day of, or are those gifts ok?
    Anything that's about/for your wedding is not a gift. You should shop for them like it was their birthdays.



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    Blue_BirdTeddiD34doeydomelbelleup
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Let go of the idea of matchy-matchy gifts - those tend to not be good. The best thing to do is shop like it's their birthday or Christmas. For example, your wine-loving friend should get a couple good bottles of wine, your book-loving friend could get the next book in a series and a gift card to Barnes & Noble, your sports-loving friend could get apparel in her favorite team's colors or tickets to a game, etc.
    Blue_Bird
  • KeptinStitches, I like your basic idea but prefer a more permanent token to remember the day.  Like the wine loving friend could get a really nice bottle stopper/opener set, the book-lover could get a personalized bookmark.  It's nice to have things that may be engraved with the date, name of couple, etc. 
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer

    It's nice to have things that may be engraved with the date, name of couple, etc. 

    No, it isn't. Please don't do this.
    TeddiD34doeydomaryemooSKPM
  • krystinp3 said:
    I was really set on getting all the bridesmaids robes, but now I am seeing how everyone hates getting them. I actually really want one right now, so I don't know if that has been influencing my decision. Any ideas other than robes or jewelry to wear the day of, or are those gifts ok?

    I see no issue with this as long as it's not your only gift. something to be used for the wedding is not a gift its a "uniform".

     I agree with PP that you should shop for them like its their birthday ect.

    I am going to get my girls something to wear the morning of, as well as a gift for being "there for" me- as a bm or moh.

  • There's no way I'd want something that was engraved, especially with someone else's name or wedding date, and I know I'm not alone there. It's really a know-your-audience thing.

    I have to agree with this. I don't want anything engraved or dated.

  • KeptinStitches, I like your basic idea but prefer a more permanent token to remember the day.  Like the wine loving friend could get a really nice bottle stopper/opener set, the book-lover could get a personalized bookmark.  It's nice to have things that may be engraved with the date, name of couple, etc. 
    No. NO it is not. I had four items engraved with my friends' names and wedding dates from times I was a BM, and let me tell you, those gifts were less than useless.

    I don't want anything with your name or your wedding date engraved on it. I just don't. I would rather have you buy me ugly jewellery that's supposed to be a "gift" that really is just so I match the other girls in the BP than have you engrave something with your name and wedding date on it. Everything like that I've ever gotten I have chucked, immediately, because, again -- what do I want with a shot glass, book mark, picture frame, wine glass or whatever else with YOUR name and YOUR wedding date on it??

    Also, anything that says "bride" or "bridesmaid" or "maid of honour" is also useless after the day of the wedding, and then it just sits and collects dust. Or gets thrown out.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • krystinp3 said:

    I was really set on getting all the bridesmaids robes, but now I am seeing how everyone hates getting them. I actually really want one right now, so I don't know if that has been influencing my decision. Any ideas other than robes or jewelry to wear the day of, or are those gifts ok?

    I may be alone on this but I personally love robes so I got each of my 3 maids robes. They are from the same company (lands end) but they are different colors and they have their initials monogrammed on them. I got one for myself too.

    I also got them monogrammed (with their initials) tote bags and I'm throwing in a couple of other non-matching things for them too.

    I agree that nobody wants stuff with the couple's monogram or wedding date. Ends up going in the junk pile.
    [Deleted User]jdblnn
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I was really set on getting all the bridesmaids robes, but now I am seeing how everyone hates getting them. I actually really want one right now, so I don't know if that has been influencing my decision. Any ideas other than robes or jewelry to wear the day of, or are those gifts ok?
    I may be alone on this but I personally love robes so I got each of my 3 maids robes. They are from the same company (lands end) but they are different colors and they have their initials monogrammed on them. I got one for myself too. I also got them monogrammed (with their initials) tote bags and I'm throwing in a couple of other non-matching things for them too. I agree that nobody wants stuff with the couple's monogram or wedding date. Ends up going in the junk pile.
    I know you said that you love robes (hell, I love myself a good robe as well), but do your BMs love robes? 

    Also, having your initials or monogram on things is kind of right up there with having things engraved with the couples wedding date and names...I just don't like it and kind of seems childish to me.

    Dreamergirl8812TeddiD34
  • I was really set on getting all the bridesmaids robes, but now I am seeing how everyone hates getting them. I actually really want one right now, so I don't know if that has been influencing my decision. Any ideas other than robes or jewelry to wear the day of, or are those gifts ok?
    I may be alone on this but I personally love robes so I got each of my 3 maids robes. They are from the same company (lands end) but they are different colors and they have their initials monogrammed on them. I got one for myself too. I also got them monogrammed (with their initials) tote bags and I'm throwing in a couple of other non-matching things for them too. I agree that nobody wants stuff with the couple's monogram or wedding date. Ends up going in the junk pile.
    I know you said that you love robes (hell, I love myself a good robe as well), but do your BMs love robes? 

    Also, having your initials or monogram on things is kind of right up there with having things engraved with the couples wedding date and names...I just don't like it and kind of seems childish to me.
    I think she meant that she had them monogrammed with the bridesmaids' initials not the bride's.  So each gift had the monogram of the person it was for, not the person it was from.  And she didn't get just robes, sounds like her maids are getting 3 or 4 gifts.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    mysticl said:
    I was really set on getting all the bridesmaids robes, but now I am seeing how everyone hates getting them. I actually really want one right now, so I don't know if that has been influencing my decision. Any ideas other than robes or jewelry to wear the day of, or are those gifts ok?
    I may be alone on this but I personally love robes so I got each of my 3 maids robes. They are from the same company (lands end) but they are different colors and they have their initials monogrammed on them. I got one for myself too. I also got them monogrammed (with their initials) tote bags and I'm throwing in a couple of other non-matching things for them too. I agree that nobody wants stuff with the couple's monogram or wedding date. Ends up going in the junk pile.
    I know you said that you love robes (hell, I love myself a good robe as well), but do your BMs love robes? 

    Also, having your initials or monogram on things is kind of right up there with having things engraved with the couples wedding date and names...I just don't like it and kind of seems childish to me.
    I think she meant that she had them monogrammed with the bridesmaids' initials not the bride's.  So each gift had the monogram of the person it was for, not the person it was from.  And she didn't get just robes, sounds like her maids are getting 3 or 4 gifts.
    For many people having your own monogram put on an item is just as undesirable as having someone else's.  I don't want anything with my initials on it.



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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    mysticl said:
    I was really set on getting all the bridesmaids robes, but now I am seeing how everyone hates getting them. I actually really want one right now, so I don't know if that has been influencing my decision. Any ideas other than robes or jewelry to wear the day of, or are those gifts ok?
    I may be alone on this but I personally love robes so I got each of my 3 maids robes. They are from the same company (lands end) but they are different colors and they have their initials monogrammed on them. I got one for myself too. I also got them monogrammed (with their initials) tote bags and I'm throwing in a couple of other non-matching things for them too. I agree that nobody wants stuff with the couple's monogram or wedding date. Ends up going in the junk pile.
    I know you said that you love robes (hell, I love myself a good robe as well), but do your BMs love robes? 

    Also, having your initials or monogram on things is kind of right up there with having things engraved with the couples wedding date and names...I just don't like it and kind of seems childish to me.
    I think she meant that she had them monogrammed with the bridesmaids' initials not the bride's.  So each gift had the monogram of the person it was for, not the person it was from.  And she didn't get just robes, sounds like her maids are getting 3 or 4 gifts.
    When i said having your initials or monogram I meant having the individuals initials or monogram not the brides.

    And I know that the robes weren't the only gift but she also mentioned a tote with a monogram or initials.  What I am saying is that many people do not like having things initialed or monogrammed.

  • mysticl said:
    I think she meant that she had them monogrammed with the bridesmaids' initials not the bride's.  So each gift had the monogram of the person it was for, not the person it was from.  And she didn't get just robes, sounds like her maids are getting 3 or 4 gifts.
    When i said having your initials or monogram I meant having the individuals initials or monogram not the brides.

    And I know that the robes weren't the only gift but she also mentioned a tote with a monogram or initials.  What I am saying is that many people do not like having things initialed or monogrammed.
    I do not like monogrammed things. Just a personal preference. It reminds me of middle school and my mom sewing my last name into everything I owned before I went to summer camp. 

    Also something to keep in mind is that, depending on the group of BMs, their last names may change in the next few years so initials might not be the same. Just something to think about. 
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  • I would not get the robes monogrammed. I was just going to get them nice robes that they could use, and not necessarily the day of. Probably not actually, because we are getting our hair and make up done in a salon. I have no idea what to get now. I am trying to find something personal and amazing for each one, but I can't think of anything right now. :(
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Again, what would you get them for Christmas?
  • I agree with getting your girls something you would for a birthday/holiday. I personally love the cheesy bride and bridesmaid monogrammed things but again they are useless after the wedding and not everyone likes them. To satisfy my monogramming urge I got these cute costume earring that says bride and bridesmaid and got all my girls a pair to wear at the bachelorette as a funny ha ha type thing. As for their gifts the day of the wedding, my wedding is not until next Summer but I have already started gathering things that when I see them I am reminded of them. For example my future SIL loves candles and home decor so I ordered a cute candle set from a fund raiser for my niece and for my best friend who loves all things country I got her a cute "redneck wineglass" from Hallmark. I plan on just making little gift bags/baskets with things all my girls like in them that are unique and special to them. If you have some time instead of stressing just look around whenever you're out shopping for items that remind you of your girls and get those. Just like a birthday or holiday. I know I like a gift like that rather than a bracelet or robe that matched all the other maids.
    Kauris
  • krystinp3 said:

    I would not get the robes monogrammed. I was just going to get them nice robes that they could use, and not necessarily the day of. Probably not actually, because we are getting our hair and make up done in a salon. I have no idea what to get now. I am trying to find something personal and amazing for each one, but I can't think of anything right now. :(

    If you know one of your friends likes robes or has been wanting one, it's a fine gift in the circumstance you describe. I personally would love a robe if it wasn't monagrammed or for pictures (brides, please don't make your BMs wear robes for pictures!) I think the main points here are 1)NWR and 2) they don't have to all be the same. I got lots of ideas browsing etsy (not the wedding section!) personally. Jewelry is also ok if it's NWR and to your friends' style. Many brides also do gift cards or a favorite bottle of alcohol with appropriate glassware. I got my BMs (non-matching) wallets. The possibilities are endless!
  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2013
    Me personally would not want to be in a robe taking a "cute" picture getting ready.  I did not even want "getting ready" pictures in my wedding album.  who wants a picture with half of your hair done and no make up?  we took getting ready pics throughout the day but they stayed in the camera. 

    Now if your friends would all like them, then consider it, but you may be throwing your money away--so if you are fine with the idea that they will put the robe on for a picture with you and then never use it again, then go for it-- But its not a "gift" if its for you and your "cute picture."  Get them something they would like individually.  And since you are in a salon anyway its really makes no sense to get them robes unless its suited to their individual taste and you know its something they would like (would you get them a robe for their birthday or christmas?)
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  • i am getting just plain satin robes for pictures when we are getting ready.. not having anything on back ect..
    Are your bridesmaids ok with this?  I personally would not want a picture of me like that floating around out there.  Christmas morning pictures when I'm wearing a heavy robe and pjs are one thing.  A clingy satin robe with nothing but underwear on under it, no thank you.

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  • maryemoomaryemoo Fort Wayne, Indiana member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I think you are just going to have to go with your gut and with what your BM's tastes are, not what everyone here thinks. I agree with not dating on monogramming it for your wedding date/you and FI's names, but personally, I would love a robe that said my name or my initials on it. Maybe that makes me tacky, but eh, I'd wear the hell out of it. Still, what I love doesn't matter, go with what your BMs love.
    marriedlady1212mcgarci2hellohkb
  • Only you know your BMs. If they like robes, get them a robe. If they like jewelry, that's fine too. If they like wallets, wristlets, purses that's dandy. Wine, even better. I'm getting all my girls wristlets, though they are all really girly girls. The wristlets are hand made and are going to be out of material of each girl's favorite color. Even if they don't use it as a wristlet they can use it as a wallet inside their purse. It's something tangible that they can remember I got them for being in my wedding, but not something they can't/won't reuse. 
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  • krystinp3 said:
    I was really set on getting all the bridesmaids robes, but now I am seeing how everyone hates getting them. I actually really want one right now, so I don't know if that has been influencing my decision. Any ideas other than robes or jewelry to wear the day of, or are those gifts ok?

    You know your friends better than anyone of this site.  Do you think they would like it?  If I did not have a robe, I'd love a nice fluffy robe.  It would be especially nice if we were going together the spa to get hair or nails done for the wedding.  I would also appreciate the fact that my friend gave me a gift instead of turning up my nose at it because it did not meet my expectations. 

    About the entire engraved thing, I think it depends on what it is.   If you got something like a locket and had the date and your initials engraved on the back, that would be nice. 

    About the jewelry, they are wearing on the wedding day, I guess it depends on what it is.  If you give your bride's maid a pair of diamond and sapphire earrings in time to wear at the wedding, that is one thing.  However, if it is a fake strand of pearls that you want everyone to wear so that everyone has on the same jewelry, then I would have to agree that may not be the best choice. 

    I was a bride's maid. several times  One time, I received a lace sachet that the bride sewed.  We were all broke college students and there was no money for expensive gifts.  I've kept it in my drawer for about 27 years.  It stopped smelling years ago but it has great sentimental value.  Other friends gave no gifts at all.  There was no money for that.   

    Good luck with your wedding.  I'm sure you will choose just the right thing.

  • Thank you so much! I have received jewelry to wear the day of for every wedding I have ever been in. I wonder if it's a regional thing. I think I am going with robes and earrings. They are nice, Kate Spade earrings that I think they will like and will wear again. We are getting married 3 days later Christmas, so most of them will already be getting gifts from me then too.

  • Its a "know your friends" thing. Do you think THEY will like them?

    I gave robes (and also other items to each girl). The morning of everyone wore them and looked so cute (my MOH actually ran to the bank in hers...) and another of my girls actually was wearing hers when I stopped by her house the other day! Below is a picture of us right before we got dressed <3 To see more getting ready you can watch my video ->  

    krystinp3 every wedding I have ever been in I have received jewelry to wear for the wedding. It may be a regional thing because many women here find it very rude but I personally never did. And actually my BMs were a little confused that I didn't give them their jewelry....(I requested pearls if they were to wear jewelry and I had extra I lent out for those who didn't own something)
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  • @bubblegum1309 - do your friends know that this video and photo are posted on a public internet forum? 

    I might have worn a robe if the bride wanted me to and maybe even agreed to have my picture taken in it, but I'd be beyond mortified if it ended up posted publicly on the internet. I didn't quote you so that you can remove them if you want to.
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    Blue_BirdKeptInStitchesRebeccaB88
  • Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited November 2013
    Thanks southernbelle for the heads up, I appreciate the suggestion and if it bothers you I will take it down. But since FB is also public and there are pictures of everyone I know in bikinis and their workout clothes/sports bras I didn't think that robes that showed a little knee was a big deal.

    ETA: I just realized this video is posted on my FB page and "liked" by the BMs
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  • @bubblegum1309, I LOVE the robes! You look gorgeous! Love it!
  • PolarBearFitzPolarBearFitz member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    edited November 2013
    @bubblegum1309 - Those are some of the prettiest robes I have seen to get ready! They cover, don't have initials, and aren't just a plain random color. I would definitely wear one of those after the event in my own home. Where did you find those?!

    Also you look gorgeous! Congrats!

    @krystinp3 - I definitely agree without PPs that you should buy them gifts that correlate with who they are or how you would buy on their birthday. I think the Kate Spade earrings sound nice but would recommend getting different ones that each girl would like.
  • Bubblegum 1309.. What a beautiful bride you were. The video was awesome and your little flower girl with the tutu was adorable. I also thought the picture of the bridesmaids was very tasteful. I for one like monogrammed items with my initials but it's my preference. I don't find it childish at all. I think robes are a great gift along with jewelry (maybe make each one a little different.)
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