Having 2 wedding Ceremony's

lennonkdc · October 2013

nascar02zp said:

Well first off, I would like to thank some of you for your comments on here. They were very helpful, others I have to say I am appalled by some of your comments as they are very rude and if I could come to your home and slap you across the face, I would. It is obvious that some of you on here are concerned strictly with etiquette and what other people think of your wedding than what your wedding actually means to you.

After much deliberation and a sudden change in events (for the worse unfortunately) my fiance and I have decided to keep our wedding plans as they sit for next year. We had started planning on having a smaller intimate wedding ceremony within the next few weeks, even though after calling our vendors already on board, only half of them would give us deposits back and the wedding dress would not be here and was a non-refundable deposit, but we planned on having the Ceremony early so that my father could be a part of it. Unfortunately, during the course of the last week, my father's health has made a quick turn for the worse. My fiance and I re-discussed things the other night and decided to just keep the original wedding plans so we can give all of our attention to my father right now and not be distracted trying to plan an emergency wedding.

I liked some of your ideas about having a small blessing of the rings in which my father could have been a part of but as I am atheist and my fiance agnostic and our entire ceremony will be done non-religiously, I feel it would have really been an empty gesture seeing as how our whole family knows I am non-religious. Actually none of the suggestions I gave you were religious in nature. A Ring Warming would simply involve having your Dad hold both your wedding band and 'warm' them with his presence. Or you could have him pick a poem or a passage from a book (there are other book besides the Bible/Torah/Quran ya know...) to be read at your wedding or a quote to be included in the program. And I get that YOU are non-religious, but on the off chance that your dying father is religious, him being able to impart his blessings to you and your future wife might be meaningful to him.

It was very difficult last night as we had my father enrolled in Hospice and had the social worker over to get his case set up and my father said that his ultimate goal was to live until our wedding next year to see us get married and start our lives, but he know knows that it isn't going to happen as he has only weeks to live at this point.

So again I would like to thank some of your for your support and thoughts on this and I would certainly like to thank the numerous people who contacted me privately by message, as they didn't want to be slammed by the hard core and narrow minded strictly etiquette members who have done some posts on here. Thank you.

MyNameIsNot · October 2013

Threatening violence is not acceptable, no matter how difficult of a situation you are in. You should be ashamed.

The fact that you are a man threatening a bunch of women just makes it worse. I hope you don't talk to your FI that way, or god forbid, hit her when she says something you disagree with.

JaneAustensGhost · October 2013

I wonder if his dad often slapped his mum.

photokitty · October 2013

JaneAustensGhost said:
I wonder if his dad often slapped his mum.

What on earth would make you think it is ok to make the leap to calling his dying father abusive, @JaneAustensGhost? That is reprehensible and you are no better than the OP. OP should not have said he would like to slap PPs, but that is no way gives you the right to suggest his father hit his mother. You should be ashamed of yourself!

JaneAustensGhost · October 2013

I'm not.

AlexisA01 · October 2013

JaneAustensGhost said:

I'm not.

Just not right...Two wrongs do not make a right.

OP I'm glad everything worked out on here and good luck with your father.

Amanda1443994 · October 2013

"Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it."

OP, my deepest condolences and best wishes for a happy, healthy, and long life together with your future wife.

JaneAustensGhost · October 2013

AlexisA01 said:

JaneAustensGhost said:

I'm not.

Just not right...Two wrongs do not make a right.
OP I'm glad everything worked out on here and good luck with your father.

Kindergarten wisdom. I'm not wrong. He threatened to slap women. I wonder if he learned that from his father. That's a legitimate thing to question.

photokitty · October 2013

JaneAustensGhost said:

AlexisA01 said:

JaneAustensGhost said:

I'm not.

Just not right...Two wrongs do not make a right.
OP I'm glad everything worked out on here and good luck with your father.

Kindergarten wisdom. I'm not wrong. He threatened to slap women. I wonder if he learned that from his father. That's a legitimate thing to question.

No it's not. Do you ask if murders learned to kill people from their parents? Kindergarten wisdom would be a step up form where you are coming.

You are making a high leap, and a terribly rude and insensitive one at that.

Did your learn to jump to conclusions and be judge because your mum does the same thing??? (I'm guessing not, but based on your logic it is a legitimate thing to question)

NYCBruin · October 2013

photokitty said:

JaneAustensGhost said:

AlexisA01 said:

JaneAustensGhost said:

I'm not.

Just not right...Two wrongs do not make a right.
OP I'm glad everything worked out on here and good luck with your father.

Kindergarten wisdom. I'm not wrong. He threatened to slap women. I wonder if he learned that from his father. That's a legitimate thing to question.

No it's not. Do you ask if murders learned to kill people from their parents? Kindergarten wisdom would be a step up form where you are coming.
You are making a high leap, and a terribly rude and insensitive one at that.
Did your learn to jump to conclusions and be judge because your mum does the same thing??? (I'm guessing not, but based on your logic it is a legitimate thing to question)

Yes it is. There are decades of research on the relationship between parents who are abusers and children who become abusers. There is a pretty significant statistical correlation between the two.

ETA I'm not saying her comments weren't insensitive, but your attack on her logic isn't really fair either.

photokitty · October 2013

NYCBruin said:

photokitty said:

JaneAustensGhost said:

AlexisA01 said:

JaneAustensGhost said:

I'm not.

Just not right...Two wrongs do not make a right.
OP I'm glad everything worked out on here and good luck with your father.

Kindergarten wisdom. I'm not wrong. He threatened to slap women. I wonder if he learned that from his father. That's a legitimate thing to question.

No it's not. Do you ask if murders learned to kill people from their parents? Kindergarten wisdom would be a step up form where you are coming.
You are making a high leap, and a terribly rude and insensitive one at that.
Did your learn to jump to conclusions and be judge because your mum does the same thing??? (I'm guessing not, but based on your logic it is a legitimate thing to question)

Yes it is. There are decades of research on the relationship between parents who are abusers and children who become abusers. There is a pretty significant statistical correlation between the two.

ETA I'm not saying her comments weren't insensitive, but your attack on her logic isn't really fair either.

That is true and I wasn't saying that logic was failed, but rather her thinking it's ok to say what she did. You are correct about the correlation, I'm not disputing that. But it is not a legitimate thing to pose a question on a forum like that when the personal she is accusing of abuse is not here to defend themselves. She attacked someone's character and that's not ok. I take abuse very seriously, and accusing someone of it just as much so. Her statements and the OP's threats are both uncalled for.

ETA I understand what you are saying NYC and don't mean to come off being rude towards you

Having 2 wedding Ceremony's

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