Advice on my timeline?

annag731_23092822 · October 2013

Hi there - not positive this is the right board for this question, but I'm looking for advice on my time-line, particularly the first few elements of dinner.

Reception 5:30-6:30pm with hors d'oeuvres and open bar. Groom and I will be finishing pics at this time.

Ceremony (one floor up) 6:30-7pm

Grand entrance 7:15 (back down one floor) with about 20 min of energetic group/hora dancing

First course served at 7:30

B/G first dance, F/Daughter dance

Main course served 8pm, with toasts

Dancing thereafter

My coordinator is concerned about hungry guests not wanting to have to dance before the meal. I figured it would work since they've spend an hour at the reception already having apps/drinks. Any advice?

Thanks!

southernbelle0915 · October 2013

annag731 said:

Hi there - not positive this is the right board for this question, but I'm looking for advice on my time-line, particularly the first few elements of dinner.

Reception 5:30-6:30pm with hors d'oeuvres and open bar. Groom and I will be finishing pics at this time.
Ceremony (one floor up) 6:30-7pm
Grand entrance 7:15 (back down one floor) with about 20 min of energetic group/hora dancing
First course served at 7:30
B/G first dance, F/Daughter dance
Main course served 8pm, with toasts
Dancing thereafter

My coordinator is concerned about hungry guests not wanting to have to dance before the meal. I figured it would work since they've spend an hour at the reception already having apps/drinks. Any advice?

Thanks!

I agree with your coordinator. I would flip flop the "reception" and the ceremony. Get married first, then send people to cocktail hour while you take pics.

ETA: I would also let people eat dinner first (before dancing).

Ceremony 5:30-6

Cocktail Hour for Guests 6-7

Photos for WP 6-7

Grand Entrance and Toasts 7:15

Dinner (courses served back to back) 7:30

First Dances 8:15-8:30

Open dance floor for hora

Continue to party

itzMS · October 2013

annag731 said:

Hi there - not positive this is the right board for this question, but I'm looking for advice on my time-line, particularly the first few elements of dinner.

Reception 5:30-6:30pm with hors d'oeuvres and open bar. Groom and I will be finishing pics at this time.
Ceremony (one floor up) 6:30-7pm
Grand entrance 7:15 (back down one floor) with about 20 min of energetic group/hora dancing
First course served at 7:30
B/G first dance, F/Daughter dance
Main course served 8pm, with toasts
Dancing thereafter

My coordinator is concerned about hungry guests not wanting to have to dance before the meal. I figured it would work since they've spend an hour at the reception already having apps/drinks. Any advice?

Thanks!

Why is your ceremony after the cocktail hour? I guess I've never seen this before.

I agree with your coordinator...but for a different reason. I would not want to dance and get all sweaty before sitting down to a formal dinner. Just my two cents.

doeydo · October 2013

annag731 said:

Hi there - not positive this is the right board for this question, but I'm looking for advice on my time-line, particularly the first few elements of dinner.

Reception 5:30-6:30pm with hors d'oeuvres and open bar. Groom and I will be finishing pics at this time. I don't see a point in this "reception". Why can't the guests just show up at the ceremony location/floor for 6:30?
Ceremony (one floor up) 6:30-7pm
Grand entrance 7:15 (back down one floor) with about 20 min of energetic group/hora dancing Is everyone supposed to be dancing? Just you and the wedding party? It seems kind of odd to me but whatever. Also, you hustle everyone downstairs, then you two run in, all within 15 minutes. Somehow, I think there needs to be more time. People are slow and like to talk.
First course served at 7:30
B/G first dance, F/Daughter dance Are you, your FI, and your father not going to eat the first course? Why not just dance after dinner? Or have your B/G and father daughter dances before dinner?
Main course served 8pm, with toasts Mmk. Just to let you know, if I knew that just the ceremony started at 6:30, I would eat at Wendy's or something on my way to the wedding so I wouldn't be hungry. So, I might not eat everything you gave me.
Dancing thereafter

My coordinator is concerned about hungry guests not wanting to have to dance before the meal. I figured it would work since they've spend an hour at the reception already having apps/drinks. Any advice?

Thanks!

annag731_23092822 · October 2013

Very much appreciate the comments, as my FI and I have revised the time-line a number of times and can't quite decide what would work best.

@doyedo - It sounds like if you were a guest you would probably skip the initial reception given the structure of this time-line? And not really enjoy dinner because in anticipation you'd have eaten. Hmm, that's good feedback.

We initially had the reception and ceremony flipped, as several of you have advised, but changed it for the following reason - let me know what you think. We were having trouble figuring out how to keep the energy up after the ceremony. We thought that if we put the ceremony first, and then just a reception with apps/drinks, the high energy from the ceremony would fade because people are just standing and mingling. And then we weren't quite sure what to do with the grand entrance, because our coordinator thought it should be at the start of dinner, but it seemed odd to me to spend an hour with the guests in the cocktail reception, then leave while they're seated, and then come back in. So we thought if we have some fun dancing like the hora (with all guests) immediately after the ceremony, that'd be energetic. The apps/cocktail hour is part of our vendor's package, so the cost is already included (ie. we have to stick this hour somewhere).

Apologies for the lengthiness of this post. My FI and I have been going back and forth for weeks about this timeline!

southernbelle0915 · October 2013

annag731 said:

Very much appreciate the comments, as my FI and I have revised the time-line a number of times and can't quite decide what would work best.

@doyedo - It sounds like if you were a guest you would probably skip the initial reception given the structure of this time-line? And not really enjoy dinner because in anticipation you'd have eaten. Hmm, that's good feedback.

We initially had the reception and ceremony flipped, as several of you have advised, but changed it for the following reason - let me know what you think. We were having trouble figuring out how to keep the energy up after the ceremony. We thought that if we put the ceremony first, and then just a reception with apps/drinks, the high energy from the ceremony would fade because people are just standing and mingling. And then we weren't quite sure what to do with the grand entrance, because our coordinator thought it should be at the start of dinner, but it seemed odd to me to spend an hour with the guests in the cocktail reception, then leave while they're seated, and then come back in. So we thought if we have some fun dancing like the hora (with all guests) immediately after the ceremony, that'd be energetic. The apps/cocktail hour is part of our vendor's package, so the cost is already included (ie. we have to stick this hour somewhere).

Apologies for the lengthiness of this post. My FI and I have been going back and forth for weeks about this timeline!

You are thinking too much about this. Usually cocktail hour is what people enjoy most. At every single wedding I've ever been to, the ceremony was exciting yet subdued and cocktail hour was where the party really got started.

Your coordinator sounds like a smart lady. Do your photos while everyone is at cocktail hour. Have the DJ tell everyone when the B&G are about to arrive. Nothing else really needs to happen. Weddings are fun. You don't need to force it.

itzMS · October 2013

annag731 said:

Very much appreciate the comments, as my FI and I have revised the time-line a number of times and can't quite decide what would work best.

@doyedo - It sounds like if you were a guest you would probably skip the initial reception given the structure of this time-line? And not really enjoy dinner because in anticipation you'd have eaten. Hmm, that's good feedback.

We initially had the reception and ceremony flipped, as several of you have advised, but changed it for the following reason - let me know what you think. We were having trouble figuring out how to keep the energy up after the ceremony. We thought that if we put the ceremony first, and then just a reception with apps/drinks, the high energy from the ceremony would fade because people are just standing and mingling. And then we weren't quite sure what to do with the grand entrance, because our coordinator thought it should be at the start of dinner, but it seemed odd to me to spend an hour with the guests in the cocktail reception, then leave while they're seated, and then come back in. So we thought if we have some fun dancing like the hora (with all guests) immediately after the ceremony, that'd be energetic. The apps/cocktail hour is part of our vendor's package, so the cost is already included (ie. we have to stick this hour somewhere).

Apologies for the lengthiness of this post. My FI and I have been going back and forth for weeks about this timeline!

Have you been to a lot of weddings?

I've been to more than I can count, and there's never so much "energy" at the ceremony that feeding people and offering them open bar wouldn't maintain.

Going to a wedding is all about saying congrats to the couple, eating, drinking, and socializing. Not about being hyper and high energy.

I'm struggling with what you're trying to accomplish here.

AllyIdo · October 2013

Every Jewish wedding I've attended had the hora and other traditional dances start immediately after the first dance. Then dinner started.

Also 9/10 times the first dance started after the entrance. Maybe it's a regional thing.

annag731_23092822 · October 2013

AllyIdo said:

Every Jewish wedding I've attended had the hora and other traditional dances start immediately after the first dance. Then dinner started.

Also 9/10 times the first dance started after the entrance. Maybe it's a regional thing.

Very helpful, thanks!

Maggie0829 · October 2013

I think having the hora and other spotlight dances right after the grand entrance is fine. I know that is what H and I did (minus the hora because we are not Jewish). But I would have the ceremony first and then cocktail hour while you are taking pictures. If you would like to provide your guests with some beverages before the ceremony that is fine but of course isn't necessary.

I think by having the cocktail hour after the ceremony then your guests will be fine for 15 minutes during the introduction and spotlight dances before they are served dinner.

ashleyep · October 2013

Most first dances I've seen happen right after the entrance.

I've never been to a Jewish wedding so I don't know when the hora would be, but I would suggest doing it then as well. Or open up the dance floor with it after dinner?

I would do your toasts as the first course is being served. Everyone will be in their seats at that point. I went to a wedding last weekend where the toast was a few courses in (or after dinner, I can't quite remember) and it was weird to have the not-yet-filled champagne glass on the table for most of the meal.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

Since I really didn't read everything fully, I would also suggest you don't split up the courses with dancing and stuff. Just do dinner all at once. I have been to a few weddings where they would break up the party time with spotlight dances, then toasts, then the bouquet toss/garter toss, then the cake cutting. It was really annoying. So with that said...

5:30-6 = Ceremony

6-7 = Cocktail hour (picture time for you and your groom)

7-7:30 = Spotlight dances (first dance, Father/Daughter, Mother/Son, Hora)

7:30-8:30 or 9 = Dinner

9 - ? = Party!

loca4pook · October 2013

annag731 said:

Very much appreciate the comments, as my FI and I have revised the time-line a number of times and can't quite decide what would work best.

@doyedo - It sounds like if you were a guest you would probably skip the initial reception given the structure of this time-line? And not really enjoy dinner because in anticipation you'd have eaten. Hmm, that's good feedback.

We initially had the reception and ceremony flipped, as several of you have advised, but changed it for the following reason - let me know what you think. We were having trouble figuring out how to keep the energy up after the ceremony. We thought that if we put the ceremony first, and then just a reception with apps/drinks, the high energy from the ceremony would fade because people are just standing and mingling. And then we weren't quite sure what to do with the grand entrance, because our coordinator thought it should be at the start of dinner, but it seemed odd to me to spend an hour with the guests in the cocktail reception, then leave while they're seated, and then come back in. So we thought if we have some fun dancing like the hora (with all guests) immediately after the ceremony, that'd be energetic. The apps/cocktail hour is part of our vendor's package, so the cost is already included (ie. we have to stick this hour somewhere).

Apologies for the lengthiness of this post. My FI and I have been going back and forth for weeks about this timeline!

I agree with others. 99 percent of people do CEREMONY, then a cocktail hour, then they eat. That is standard. No energy is ruined. It is expected.

What type of energy during ceremony are you afraid of being lost?

Just some feedback. I once went to a wedding that did various dances BETWEEN courses, and I hated it. I was at wedding alone and it forced me to stay longer than I wanted to because dinner took forever to finish.

Here was my timeline

4:30-5:30 ceremony (had to drive from church to reception)

6:00-7:00 cocktail hour

7-830 dinner (We did first dance right away after being introduced, then toast, and dinner was served)

8:30-midnight Dancing

The flow went fine and everyone had a good time

annag731_23092822 · October 2013

Thanks everyone for the feedback, particularly those who've had experience with the broken up time-line and didn't care for it!

mysticl · October 2013

Here's another thing to consider. If you have people drinking for an hour prior to your ceremony you may have some drunk or at least tipsy people in your ceremony. This could result in people being loud at inappropriate moments, people leaving your ceremony to use the restroom, and people not paying any attention at all to you getting married. And a bunch of drunk people will not give you the energy you are looking for.

casey8784 · October 2013

AllyIdo said:

Every Jewish wedding I've attended had the hora and other traditional dances start immediately after the first dance. Then dinner started.

Also 9/10 times the first dance started after the entrance. Maybe it's a regional thing.

This^^........BUT, I've also been to Saturday Jewish weddings where the cocktail hour was before the ceremony when held during the spring/summer/early fall months, when sunset is later in the evening, so it's not unheard of, especially within Jewish circles. In my experience, the cocktail hour has SO much food, that I actually liked having a 1/2 hour between it and the reception so I'd be hungry again for the actual meal. But I can see how it could be weird for someone who's never experienced it before.

We were going to do this, before we switched to a late October date...

We're doing introductions, first dance, hora for about 15-20 min, challah blessings, meal w/ toasts, F/D and M/S dances, then open dancing

Advice on my timeline?

Re: Advice on my timeline?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards