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3 bridesmaids, 1 gay best friend, and four groomsmen- what to do with walking down the aisle?

DsolomoDsolomo member
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in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
For my wedding party I will be having my sister as my matron of honor, my finances twins sisters as bridesmaids, and then for the last member of my bridal party, I will be having my best friend from 5th grade. An important bit of info though is that he's a guy and he's a gay guy at that! So he's basically a girl to me. But the groom will be having four groomsmen.

How do I have the processional go? I'm not sure if he should walk down the aisle alone or with the other groomsmen...I don't want anyone to feel alone though or to feel uncomfortable either.

Anyone have ideas???
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Re: 3 bridesmaids, 1 gay best friend, and four groomsmen- what to do with walking down the aisle?

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    Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
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    No one will feel lonely walking by themselves down the aisle. They walk by themselves every other day of the year. Just have the processional be single file.



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    ElcaBElcaB member
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    Groomsmen first, followed by BMs. 
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    Dsolomo said:
    For my wedding party I will be having my sister as my matron of honor, my finances twins sisters as bridesmaids, and then for the last member of my bridal party, I will be having my best friend from 5th grade. An important bit of info though is that he's a guy and he's a gay guy at that! So he's basically a girl to me. But the groom will be having four groomsmen. How do I have the processional go? I'm not sure if he should walk down the aisle alone or with the other groomsmen...I don't want anyone to feel alone though or to feel uncomfortable either. Anyone have ideas???
    Have your Groom and groomsmen enter from the side of the church and go to the altar/pew, or have them come down the aisle single file with the groom leading.

    Then have your bridesmaids and your bride's man come down the aisle single file, followed by your MoH, and then you.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    mobkaz said:
    Entering the ceremony, the simplest solution would be for your bridal party to walk in single file. This is not unusual.  The groomsmen wait at the top of the aisle with the groom.

    There are a couple ways you could have the bridal party process out.  The MOH and BM can walk together.  Two groomsmen can escort Twin Sister #1 out.  Twin Sister #2 can be escorted out by the remaining groomsman and your bridesman.  This scenario would allow for a "balanced" look.

    The second option would be for each side to pair off naturally, and walk out side by side.  I see no reason why two men cannot process out side by side.  My daughter had an uneven bridal party. It was no big deal for anyone that two girls walked out side by side, so I see no reason why two guys can't do the same.

    And, I am sure you meant no offense, but the information regarding your bridesman's sexual orientation seems unnecessary.  
    All of this.

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    TKzillaTKzilla member
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    QueerFemme said:
    Dsolomo said:
    For my wedding party I will be having my sister as my matron of honor, my finances twins sisters as bridesmaids, and then for the last member of my bridal party, I will be having my best friend from 5th grade. An important bit of info though is that he's a guy and he's a gay guy at that! So he's basically a girl to me. But the groom will be having four groomsmen. How do I have the processional go? I'm not sure if he should walk down the aisle alone or with the other groomsmen...I don't want anyone to feel alone though or to feel uncomfortable either. Anyone have ideas???

    have your fiance's groomsmen up at the altar already, and have your attendants walk in single file. 

    oh, and to the bolded statement. That is an asshole thing to say, especially on a public forum like this. Being gay doesn't change someone's sex.   Trust me, I'm pretty sure I still have a vagina.

    I dunno, have you checked recently? Better get your partner to sneak a little peek when you get home ;)
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    Teddy917Teddy917 member
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    Although I agree that saying that he's is basically a girl is rude, I see why she thinks mentioning that he's gay is important. She probably is just concerned about the comfort of her and her husband's best friends.
    But he is definitely NOT a girl. I know a gay (or is a girl couple lesbian, I don't want to be offensive, I just don't know the politically correct term) couple, but they're both still girls. I would never think of either as a boy.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    edited October 2013
    You don't have to pair attendants off either on the way down the aisle or coming back up.

    They can go single file, or just ask your bridesman to walk with one of the groomsmen and let it go at that.
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    Sembree1Sembree1 member
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    I do think the piece of information of him being gay may be important though. I have the same situation with a male standing with me, and it has become an issue because the groomsmen have refused to walk by him leaving the ceremony due to sexual orientation. They felt if it were another guy, ie a straight man, it would be ok. I'm not sure if theyre afraid he will hit on them or if they are against it or what the issue is, but that can be a vital piece of information. What worked best for us was to first talk to the man standing with me to see what he was comfortable with and any suggestions he had since he has been in plenty of situations such as this before. We are going to have the bm and gms pair up and then he will walk to flower girl back down while the remaining groomsmen will walk the ring bearer back or vice versa.
    [url=http://www.theknot.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.theknot.com/tickers/tt18222b.aspx[/img][/url]
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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    Teddy917 said:
    Although I agree that saying that he's is basically a girl is rude, I see why she thinks mentioning that he's gay is important. She probably is just concerned about the comfort of her and her husband's best friends. But he is definitely NOT a girl. I know a gay (or is a girl couple lesbian, I don't want to be offensive, I just don't know the politically correct term) couple, but they're both still girls. I would never think of either as a boy.

    Good thing you responded, Teddy, with your "vast gay experience" and all.  What is there to be uncomfortable about?  And, is this bridesman wearing some sort of scarlet G letter that marks him as "a gay"??


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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
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    Here I thought the ladies, er, girls on Not Engaged were BSC. @dreamergirl8812
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    Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
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    NYCMercedes said:
    Here I thought the ladies, er, girls on Not Engaged were BSC. @dreamergirl8812
    I've been looking for an excuse to send people over there for the shit storm.



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    Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
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    Sembree1 said:
    I do think the piece of information of him being gay may be important though. I have the same situation with a male standing with me, and it has become an issue because the groomsmen have refused to walk by him leaving the ceremony due to sexual orientation. They felt if it were another guy, ie a straight man, it would be ok. I'm not sure if theyre afraid he will hit on them or if they are against it or what the issue is, but that can be a vital piece of information. What worked best for us was to first talk to the man standing with me to see what he was comfortable with and any suggestions he had since he has been in plenty of situations such as this before. We are going to have the bm and gms pair up and then he will walk to flower girl back down while the remaining groomsmen will walk the ring bearer back or vice versa.
    It's fucked up that homophobia has a place in your wedding. Does he know he's walking with a little girl because the other men don't want to walk next to him?



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    IloveshanejIloveshanej member
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    I don't see a problem with the men walking out together. I would hope your FI's friends know your friend and that wouldn't be an issue, not that it should be one anyway. It's not like he's going to hit on them or they have to walk arm in arm or anything. It's just going to be two men walking out together, no big deal. 
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
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    Sembree1 said:
    I do think the piece of information of him being gay may be important though. I have the same situation with a male standing with me, and it has become an issue because the groomsmen have refused to walk by him leaving the ceremony due to sexual orientation. They felt if it were another guy, ie a straight man, it would be ok. I'm not sure if theyre afraid he will hit on them or if they are against it or what the issue is, but that can be a vital piece of information. What worked best for us was to first talk to the man standing with me to see what he was comfortable with and any suggestions he had since he has been in plenty of situations such as this before. We are going to have the bm and gms pair up and then he will walk to flower girl back down while the remaining groomsmen will walk the ring bearer back or vice versa.
    Your gm are a$$holes. That's the reason they won't walk with your friend. I'm sure your friend has been subjected to this ignorant attitude before, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you to cater to that sort of disgusting behavior. 
                       
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    maryemoomaryemoo member
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    Sembree1 said:
    I do think the piece of information of him being gay may be important though. I have the same situation with a male standing with me, and it has become an issue because the groomsmen have refused to walk by him leaving the ceremony due to sexual orientation. They felt if it were another guy, ie a straight man, it would be ok. I'm not sure if theyre afraid he will hit on them or if they are against it or what the issue is, but that can be a vital piece of information. What worked best for us was to first talk to the man standing with me to see what he was comfortable with and any suggestions he had since he has been in plenty of situations such as this before. We are going to have the bm and gms pair up and then he will walk to flower girl back down while the remaining groomsmen will walk the ring bearer back or vice versa.

    This is incredibly wrong--you shouldn't have to throw him around with the flower girl just to make everyone else comfortable, whether or not he "has been in plenty of these situations." You tell the GM that he is walking the way you want him to, and not to be a$$es about it, and if they have a problem, they don't have to walk.
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    thejucheideathejucheidea member
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    I can't even.

    Our wedding party consisted of nine women and two men -- we each had a man on a side, I had five women and he had four women. Everyone walked in on their own, not in pairs, but it was because we wanted to showcase all of our beautiful friends individually rather than pairing them.

    And my man of honor is trans. The first like ten years of our relationship, he was socially female, but he's now two years post-transition. I'm sure that would blow your fiance's groomsmen's DELICATE, HOMOPHOBIC MINDS.

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    NdelibleNdelible member
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    We are also having mixed gender attendants.  I didn't think of it, but some of the other, more "traditional" gals did.  Actually, one of them didn't want to walk with my soon to be step son (age difference and all).  So, in order to cut out that nonsense altogether, they will be following us single file.  We are all adults and there really is no reason to pair them off anyway.  That tradition needs to go, especially when many people in the party are married and their spouses are not part of the ceremony.
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited May 2014
    My dear God!  When I taught elementary school music, we practiced dancing as one of the skills to demonstrate rhythm.  I had to remind the class that we were all friends, and that it was OK to touch a friend's hand while dancing.  I also reminded them that if anyone was rude about touching someone's hand, they would sit in the corner for the rest of the class and miss out on all the fun.  Their favorite dance was "Frog in the bucket".
    Is this a wedding, or is it elementary school?  My young students had more class than this, OP!
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    Marzipan13Marzipan13 member
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    I'm having 1 MOH, 3 bridesmaids, and 2 bridesmen; they're all standing on my side.  Are the bridesmen gay?  No.  Does it matter?  No.  They're standing up there with me because I love them, and they love FI & I.

    You asked this person to be in your wedding to support you - you should probably support them, and stop making shitty statements about how they live their life.  
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    boxjellyboxjelly member
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    I am going to be on the grooms side with my brother and one of his close friends. There is nothing wrong with it, all my FSIL asks is we look good!
    August 9, 2015
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