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lilbeanybby · September 2013

Jean0715 · September 2013

That is a huge gap. 2 1/2 hours. IMO, if I was a guest I would find it rude. You really should do your best to avoid a gap. Maybe pushing your ceremony back?

I was just at a wedding with a 2 hour gap and my FI and our friends were really frustrated. Ceremony at 2 and Cocktail hour at 4:30. Many of us went to a local bar and ended up drinking too much before the cocktail hour even started.

smalfrie19 · September 2013

I would move up your reception and either do an early dinner or a light reception with cake, punch and heave h'ordeuvres

des9724 · September 2013

Ah, if you cannot move the times, I'd suggest planning a fun activity for your guests. Perhaps you can design a scavenger hunt around the city (could limit it to a couple of blocks so your guests aren't frustrated with the drive). I think it would be a fun way for people to explore the city and get to know you better. Perhaps some clues can lead them to a place where you and your FI frequent---a park, a bar, a theatre, etc. It could also be a great way to get photos of the city from your guests' perspectives. I know a lot of people do an "I Spy" game at the reception, but why wouldn't you extend it from the ceremony, into the gap, and continue at the ceremony? One I Spy item could be "Find a restaurant that would be perfect for our first date as man and wife."

You can also provide guests with a full list of activities they can do on their own---places to shop in the area, little coffee shops to try, and local events to attend. Check with the city's board of commerce because they might have a list of events in the city that you can coordinate with. These activities are free, if not only under $20 with paper for printing.

We're also having a gap, so I'm having the same issue. I don't want my guests waiting, but I also don't want to rush my pictures.

Fran1985 · September 2013

des9724 said:

Ah, if you cannot move the times, I'd suggest planning a fun activity for your guests. Perhaps you can design a scavenger hunt around the city (could limit it to a couple of blocks so your guests aren't frustrated with the drive). I think it would be a fun way for people to explore the city and get to know you better. Perhaps some clues can lead them to a place where you and your FI frequent---a park, a bar, a theatre, etc. It could also be a great way to get photos of the city from your guests' perspectives. I know a lot of people do an "I Spy" game at the reception, but why wouldn't you extend it from the ceremony, into the gap, and continue at the ceremony? One I Spy item could be "Find a restaurant that would be perfect for our first date as man and wife."

You can also provide guests with a full list of activities they can do on their own---places to shop in the area, little coffee shops to try, and local events to attend. Check with the city's board of commerce because they might have a list of events in the city that you can coordinate with. These activities are free, if not only under $20 with paper for printing.

We're also having a gap, so I'm having the same issue. I don't want my guests waiting, but I also don't want to rush my pictures.

eh I almost think the scavenger hunt makes it worse. it makes it more obvious- like btw go pay for your own dinner and drinks. There is a million ways to not rush photos but also not have a gap. If you are having a gap you are almost going out of your way to put your guests out.

PrettyGirlLost · September 2013

lilbeanybby said:

I am looking for suggestions...I am kind of stuck with this gap between the ceremony and the reception and I am not sure on what to have the guests do in this time period. The ceremony is in Glendale at Saint Gabriel's Catholic church and does not start until 2:00pm. It is just going to be the ceremony so it will probably be done by 2:30ish. The reception is downtown Cincinnati at The Center and starts at 5:00pm downtown.
The issue is that we don't have it in our budget to provide some kind of amusement for them and we cannot move the times.

Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do?

You aren't stuck with a gap. . . you are choosing to have a gap because you want to have an evening reception. And that is why guests perceive gaps as rude.

Also, a ~3 hour gap is hella long. You might have a fair amount of people who are local choose not to attend your reception or who might skip your ceremony and go to the reception only. You will also most likely really annoy all of your OOT guests.

Why can't you change the time your reception begins? Something else already going on that day earlier?

If I were you, I'd move the reception time ahead, leaving a travel time allowance from the church to the reception site, in order to remove the gap. So I'd begin cocktail hour at 3pm or 3:30pm depending on travel time.

ETA: Fran1985 has a good point above. . . your gap is really awkward as far as meals go; Your guests are likely going to have lunch around noon, so trying to make it until 5pm without eating anything might be a stretch for some people (the young and old, diabetics, etc). People will very likely go to a bar or restaurant and get some food and drinks in order to kill the gap anyways, so you might run the risk of having a lot of uneaten food at your reception

Belle2188 · October 2013

Is there any way you can move your reception up a little earlier, or access your reception venue a bit sooner and offer some sort of light refreshments? The way I see it, your gap isn't incredibly large--your ceremony might be over at 2:30, but people will want to say hello and take pictures and whatnot (this would be a great time for a receiving line if you were considering that). They probably won't leave the church until 3 and then they need to get back in their cars, find the reception, park, etc. If they get to the reception venue at 3:30, they have about an hour and a half. If you can offer even coffee and pastries from 3:30 to 5pm, I think you're fine.

My timing is very similar, but my venue will serve coffee, tea, pastries, etc. to guests that arrive early, and will begin the cocktail hour early if a lot of people arrive prior to the start time. I know I'll have guests that drive in from not-so-far-away, but still want to stay at the hotel, so the "gap" will allow them to check in and get settled without missing any of the actual reception, but those that want to go straight to the reception will be accommodated and made comfortable.

lilbeanybby · October 2013

Unfortunately I cant change the time. The only thing I can do is push back the reception time. Its not in our budget to add in more hours or add on more food unfortunately. That's why I was asking what others have done. Its going to be downtown so there is a lot of things for people to check out. But thank you though for your help!

lilbeanybby · October 2013

For everyone. I really do appreciate your suggestions and opinion's. I know some will find it rude but again I cant help it. With it being a Catholic wedding it's already a different ballgame.

So with that said I am still asking for suggestions of what "else" to do because we can't move times bottom line.

Some have suggestion scavenger hunts, others suggested touring the city.

Any other suggestions "minus" the changing of times which cant happen would greatly be appreciate it.

Thanks ladies!

PrettyGirlLost · October 2013

lilbeanybby said:

For everyone. I really do appreciate your suggestions and opinion's. I know some will find it rude but again I cant help it. With it being a Catholic wedding it's already a different ballgame.

This just isn't true. You have a gap because you choose to have an evening reception, plain and simple.

I'm a bit confused about you getting married in the Catholic chutch, but your ceremony will only last about 30mins. . you aren't doing a mass? I ask because I didn't know there were other options and also because a full mass would take an hour, and thus help reduce your gap.

I'd suggest having a full Catholic Mass and a receiving line afterwards, as both will help to reduce your gap.

Also, what is the travel time from your church to your reception site?

dgriep15 · October 2013

There will be a gap between my ceremony and reception (Catholic wedding as well). I am debating allowing my guests to arrive at the reception at their leisure but we will not open the bar or food until 4. We will get the word out during the receiving line that they can arrive early if they wish (if your venue allows this). We are doing a full mass and receiving line, and then having a shuttle from the hotel to the reception so if people want to use the shuttle they can go hang out at the hotel together which will keep people on a schedule. I am learning that things may be a little inconvenient for some guests unfortunately, but hopefully they will understand that you are trying your best and won't care once the reception starts! People can figure out something to do to burn time if they need to.

PrettyGirlLost · October 2013

OP, why the DD? You were quoted, so it just seems silly

dgriep15 said:

There will be a gap between my ceremony and reception (Catholic wedding as well). I am debating allowing my guests to arrive at the reception at their leisure but we will not open the bar or food until 4. We will get the word out during the receiving line that they can arrive early if they wish (if your venue allows this). We are doing a full mass and receiving line, and then having a shuttle from the hotel to the reception so if people want to use the shuttle they can go hang out at the hotel together which will keep people on a schedule. I am learning that things may be a little inconvenient for some guests unfortunately, but hopefully they will understand that you are trying your best and won't care once the reception starts! People can figure out something to do to burn time if they need to.

How long a gap are you having? If it's just long enough to accommodate the receiving line and travel time for your guests, then it's not really a gap.

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