THANK YOU CARD ADVICE

jchambers4 · October 2013

Got married 3 weeks ago and have not done thank you cards yet. I planned to do one with a photo of us on the front and blank on the inside so I could write my message. Our photographer is taking longer than expected to get our pics done but has sent me a few previews. She has her copyright on them, would it be tacky for the photo on our thank you cards to have her copyright on it? I just says the name of her company. I want to get these out ASAP, should I go ahead with the copyright photo or wait for our photos without it?

Jen4948 · October 2013

I think you need to send your thank-yous ASAP whether or not you have the photos. So go ahead and do that now with no photos. Once you've resolved the photo situation, you can post them online or email them to your guests, and snail mail any to guests who don't have online access.

mlg78 · October 2013

Why not start doing them and enclose copies of the photo in the card if they have them done in the next week or so? Otherwise, I got married a week and a half ago and my thank yous are already done. I got my pic previews today and I'm just turning a pic into our Christmas card since the holidays aren't that far off. You need to get hopping on those though...

itzMS · October 2013

jchambers4 said:

Got married 3 weeks ago and have not done thank you cards yet. I planned to do one with a photo of us on the front and blank on the inside so I could write my message. Our photographer is taking longer than expected to get our pics done but has sent me a few previews. She has her copyright on them, would it be tacky for the photo on our thank you cards to have her copyright on it? I just says the name of her company. I want to get these out ASAP, should I go ahead with the copyright photo or wait for our photos without it?

We used a candid photo that a guest took and posted to Facebook. I printed out 4x6's for 8 cents apiece at Walgreens.

Is that an option? Using a copyrighted picture is not a good idea.

NYCMercedes · October 2013

Got married 3 weeks ago and have not done thank you cards yet. I planned to do one with a photo of us on the front and blank on the inside so I could write my message. Our photographer is taking longer than expected to get our pics done but has sent me a few previews. She has her copyright on them, would it be tacky for the photo on our thank you cards to have her copyright on it? I just says the name of her company. I want to get these out ASAP, should I go ahead with the copyright photo or wait for our photos without it?

I don't think it matters. People will just be glad to receive your note.

LDubHawksFan · October 2013

I don't like TY cards with the couple's picture on it for this reason. I think you should go with pp's advice and just print out a picture to add to the card and get started ASAP! Also ask your photographer for an advanced proof of this picture.

Lurkers if you are insistence on doing picture TYs, get it in your contract or in writing with your photographer that a proof of this pose will bs delivered to you within a week, or do a non-professional picture (I took a picture of my friend with their thank you sign on my camera so she could use it). Waiting weeks or months for a picture to send thank yous out is unacceptable.

ashleyep · October 2013

I wouldn't use a watermarked teaser image. For a good quality print, the image usually has to be a resolution bigger than those typically are.

Can you ask your photographer for a hi-res version of that picture?

photokitty · October 2013

have you tried asking the photographer for a copy of just that photo? They should be able to get you one image quickly.

banana468 · October 2013

If you can't get your photographer to print the photo without the watermarks then just use a shot taken by a guest or go without photo thank you cards and do plain ones. If you received wedding gifts before the wedding and you didn't send out thank you notes for them then they're late. Your wedding thank you notes for gifts received at the wedding are getting late too.

If using a photo is that important, use one for holiday cards. Thank you note timing should have nothing to do work guests seeing your picture. That's a narcissistic excuse.

vmj23 · October 2013

I would wait. I don't think I have ever received a thank you within the first couple weeks of attending a wedding. I think its better to send a picture without the watermark on it. Or if you would like to get a head start, you can write out the cards now and then stick a picture in once you get them.

jchambers4 · October 2013

ok thanks all. I decided to skip the whole photo thing and I found some super cute thank you cards on mixbook.com, anyone order from there before? just wondering how quick the shipping is. I didn't want to pay extra for rush delivery. I order online a lot and know from experience stuff usually arrives sooner than they guarantee. It is guaranteed to arrive 10/21 and I really want to get them out this week so just wondering if anyone has ordered from them before and can tell me their experience.

thanks

mlg78 · October 2013

I think you're missing the point that you've waited too long to begin with. Go to a store and buy thank yous. You should have started long ago on them and now you're waiting for shipping? Seriously? You posted this almost 4 days ago. It's been long enough. I got married 2 weeks ago and my guests have had their thank yous for nearly a week and yours won't have them for probably 5-6 weeks after your wedding which is really unacceptable in the opinion of most people on this site.

HisGirlFriday13 · October 2013

Things people DO NOT care about with thank-you cards:
1. That they contain a photo of the B&G.
2. That they are specially printed to match the invites.
3. That they contain a cutesy poem.
4. That the stamps are wedding-y.
5. They they are hand-made or custom or whatever.

Things people DO care about with thank-you cards:
1. That they are late (as yours are now).
2. That they didn't get one at all (which is what they're thinking is going to happen with you right now).

Buy generic thank-you cards (they don't even have to all match each other), and mail them. Now. Today.

Also, @jenni1221, just because your friends are rude and you don't mind, please don't encourage that rudeness in other women.

jchambers4 · October 2013

jchambers4 · October 2013

it amazes me how rude and snotty women can be on these boards. people are just on here with questions and opinions and there's really no need for people to be rude or to act like they're better than everyone. you can state your opinion without being snotty about it. and if you don't know how to do that then you got bigger issues then me not getting thank you cards out on time...LMAO really ladies, calm it down, it's really not that serious!! take a chill pill.

vmj23 · October 2013

"Also, @jenni1221, just because your friends are rude and you don't mind, please don't encourage that rudeness in other women. "

My friends are not rude and it's not expected to receive a thank you within 3 weeks after a wedding! Most peopel leave for a honeymoon, for at least 1-2 weeks, so are you suggesting they should write thank you's while away in order to get them out within the first 3 weeks? That's such an absurd expectation, and if you are a guest at a wedding and are mad that you don't get a thank you within 3 weeks following, i'd suggest you keep your gift and skip the wedding. You priorities clearly are't straight.

itzMS · October 2013

jenni1221 said:

"Also, @jenni1221, just because your friends are rude and you don't mind, please don't encourage that rudeness in other women. "
My friends are not rude and it's not expected to receive a thank you within 3 weeks after a wedding! Most peopel leave for a honeymoon, for at least 1-2 weeks, so are you suggesting they should write thank you's while away in order to get them out within the first 3 weeks? That's such an absurd expectation, and if you are a guest at a wedding and are mad that you don't get a thank you within 3 weeks following, i'd suggest you keep your gift and skip the wedding. You priorities clearly are't straight.

If Thank You's aren't out (or very close to being sent) within 4-6 weeks, you're bordering on rude territory. There's no excuse.

She's referring to the fact that the OP is on week 4 now, and still hasn't even started WRITING her thank you notes.

FWIW, it's not absurd to get thank you's out quickly. My DH & I got them out within a week of our wedding. Yes, it was a hell of a lot of work...but we wanted our guests to know we received and appreciated their gifts.

banana468 · October 2013

jenni1221 said:

"Also, @jenni1221, just because your friends are rude and you don't mind, please don't encourage that rudeness in other women. "
My friends are not rude and it's not expected to receive a thank you within 3 weeks after a wedding! Most peopel leave for a honeymoon, for at least 1-2 weeks, so are you suggesting they should write thank you's while away in order to get them out within the first 3 weeks? That's such an absurd expectation, and if you are a guest at a wedding and are mad that you don't get a thank you within 3 weeks following, i'd suggest you keep your gift and skip the wedding. You priorities clearly are't straight.

Actually, TY notes should be sent within 2 weeks for gifts received before the wedding and within no more than 2 months for those received at the wedding. The way the OP is talking, she doesn't plan to start them until after the one month mark and that's rather poor form.

NYCMercedes · October 2013

jchambers4 said:

it amazes me how rude and snotty women can be on these boards. people are just on here with questions and opinions and there's really no need for people to be rude or to act like they're better than everyone. you can state your opinion without being snotty about it. and if you don't know how to do that then you got bigger issues then me not getting thank you cards out on time...LMAO really ladies, calm it down, it's really not that serious!! take a chill pill.

Not serious to me. I'm just thinking about your guests, as you should be also.

LDubHawksFan · October 2013

No one was snotty after your second post. You asked for opinions about a site that prints photos (which I used for an album for my H), but the point is that you shouldn't be waiting another 2weeks before even starting your thank yous. It will be almost 6 weeks by that point.

HisGirlFriday13 · October 2013

jenni1221 said:

"Also, @jenni1221, just because your friends are rude and you don't mind, please don't encourage that rudeness in other women. "
My friends are not rude and it's not expected to receive a thank you within 3 weeks after a wedding! Most peopel leave for a honeymoon, for at least 1-2 weeks, so are you suggesting they should write thank you's while away in order to get them out within the first 3 weeks? That's such an absurd expectation, and if you are a guest at a wedding and are mad that you don't get a thank you within 3 weeks following, i'd suggest you keep your gift and skip the wedding. You priorities clearly are't straight.

1. Based on the information you provided, yes, they are.

2. That's a broad generalisation, and it doesn't apply to everyone, so it's irrelevant.

3. I have the entirely reasonable expectation that writing thank-you notes will be and is a priority for brides immediately following their wedding/honeymoon. Even if you're gone for two weeks, if you write 15 TYs per night, over 7 nights, that's 105 TY notes, which would be adequate for a 210-guest wedding. If you have more guests than that, write more per night. It is not unreasonable to think that THANKING PEOPLE FOR THEIR GENEROSITY should be a priority for brides.

4. OP posted on Oct. 3 that she got married three weeks previously -- either Sept. 14, if she meant three weeks and a few days or Sept. 21 if she meant almost three weeks -- and she hadn't even STARTED her TY notes yet. It's now Oct. 7, and she STILL hasn't done them, meaning she's within a week of being a month out from her wedding with no TY notes, and that's rude.

orangeflame08 · October 2013

jchambers4 said:

it amazes me how rude and snotty women can be on these boards. people are just on here with questions and opinions and there's really no need for people to be rude or to act like they're better than everyone. you can state your opinion without being snotty about it. and if you don't know how to do that then you got bigger issues then me not getting thank you cards out on time...LMAO really ladies, calm it down, it's really not that serious!! take a chill pill.

I couldn't agree more. There are a lot of helpful people on this site, but there are also a lot of people on this site who have no right to judge. Everyone has their own way of doing things. Sites like this one are guidelines, not rules and regulations that you MUST follow. It is your money that is being spent on whatever type of thank you card you decide on.

manateehugger · October 2013

hstrausbaugh said:

jchambers4 said:

it amazes me how rude and snotty women can be on these boards. people are just on here with questions and opinions and there's really no need for people to be rude or to act like they're better than everyone. you can state your opinion without being snotty about it. and if you don't know how to do that then you got bigger issues then me not getting thank you cards out on time...LMAO really ladies, calm it down, it's really not that serious!! take a chill pill.

I couldn't agree more. There are a lot of helpful people on this site, but there are also a lot of people on this site who have no right to judge. Everyone has their own way of doing things. Sites like this one are guidelines, not rules and regulations that you MUST follow. It is your money that is being spent on whatever type of thank you card you decide on.

There are right and wrong ways to treat people. And yes, if you treat people the wrong way, you will be judged for that.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

I am sorry but if I gave you a $100 check for a wedding present and you have cashed it and I don't receive a thank you note for that gift after about a month I will be a bit peeved. So my gift was good enough to cash and maybe even spend but it wasn't good enough to deserve a proper thank you in a reasonable amount of time?

Majelin86 · October 2013

So what I'm getting from all the posts is DON'T wait for a pic before I do my thank you cards?

Both my husband and I really like getting the thank you cards with the couple's picture on it because sometimes you never get to see the pro pics of the couple. Some of our family don't have Facebook, so they may never actually get to see one of our pro pics unless it's on the thank you (some of them live pretty far away so we don't see them often at all). The photographer told us she'll email us in about 5-6 weeks when they're done. She does have some on her FB page already, although they have her big signature on them.

I'm guessing 5-6 weeks will be too long before getting them out? As soon as I got the pics I would pick one and get right to it, but is even 5 weeks too long? Maybe I'll just ask my photographer for one of the photos she put on her page, just without her signature on it.

banana468 · October 2013

hstrausbaugh said:
h
jchambers4 said:

it amazes me how rude and snotty women can be on these boards. people are just on here with questions and opinions and there's really no need for people to be rude or to act like they're better than everyone. you can state your opinion without being snotty about it. and if you don't know how to do that then you got bigger issues then me not getting thank you cards out on time...LMAO really ladies, calm it down, it's really not that serious!! take a chill pill.

I couldn't agree more. There are a lot of helpful people on this site, but there are also a lot of people on this site who have no right to judge. Everyone has their own way of doing things. Sites like this one are guidelines, not rules and regulations that you MUST follow. It is your money that is being spent on whatever type of thank you card you decide on.

You don't HAVE to follow etiquette but you can't claim to be doing the right thing if you exercise that choice. Late thank you notes. Waiting to send a thank you note for a photo of yourself is VERY narcissistic.

NYCBruin · October 2013

Majelin86 said:

So what I'm getting from all the posts is DON'T wait for a pic before I do my thank you cards?
Both my husband and I really like getting the thank you cards with the couple's picture on it because sometimes you never get to see the pro pics of the couple. Some of our family don't have Facebook, so they may never actually get to see one of our pro pics unless it's on the thank you (some of them live pretty far away so we don't see them often at all). The photographer told us she'll email us in about 5-6 weeks when they're done. She does have some on her FB page already, although they have her big signature on them.
I'm guessing 5-6 weeks will be too long before getting them out? As soon as I got the pics I would pick one and get right to it, but is even 5 weeks too long? Maybe I'll just ask my photographer for one of the photos she put on her page, just without her signature on it.

Yes, five weeks is pushing it, especially because it'd end up being much later unless you can write 50-100 thank you notes in a night. Ask if you can use the photos already posted. You can also send out holiday cards if you want non-facebook people to see pro photos. Or send out a link via email to your photographer's website to people who ask.

photokitty · October 2013

Maggie0829 said:
I am sorry but if I gave you a $100 check for a wedding present and you have cashed it and I don't receive a thank you note for that gift after about a month I will be a bit peeved. So my gift was good enough to cash and maybe even spend but it wasn't good enough to deserve a proper thank you in a reasonable amount of time?

I hear ya...I won't cash a check before sending the thank you note. Those were the first ones i wrote after getting back from the honeymoon. Those folks got their thank yous within 2 weeks.

NYCBruin · October 2013

Maggie0829 said:

I am sorry but if I gave you a $100 check for a wedding present and you have cashed it and I don't receive a thank you note for that gift after about a month I will be a bit peeved. So my gift was good enough to cash and maybe even spend but it wasn't good enough to deserve a proper thank you in a reasonable amount of time?

Ditto this. I'm also going to be annoyed if you wait to cash my check for 6 weeks because you didn't want to cash it until you got out your photo thank you notes. My accounts need to be balanced, yo!

Majelin86 · October 2013

I ordered my thank you cards tonight! I used one of the pics with the photographer's signature on it, but I was able to crop it out and make it fit with it still looking great! I'm so excited! Designing the cards was fun

I'm kind of sad the fun parts of planning are over, picking everything out & designing invitations and stuff was enjoyable! Although I'm reallyyyyy glad the other stuff is done & I'll never have to do it again!

emmyg65 · October 2013

Majelin86 said:

So what I'm getting from all the posts is DON'T wait for a pic before I do my thank you cards?
Both my husband and I really like getting the thank you cards with the couple's picture on it because sometimes you never get to see the pro pics of the couple. Some of our family don't have Facebook, so they may never actually get to see one of our pro pics unless it's on the thank you (some of them live pretty far away so we don't see them often at all). The photographer told us she'll email us in about 5-6 weeks when they're done. She does have some on her FB page already, although they have her big signature on them.
I'm guessing 5-6 weeks will be too long before getting them out? As soon as I got the pics I would pick one and get right to it, but is even 5 weeks too long? Maybe I'll just ask my photographer for one of the photos she put on her page, just without her signature on it.

If you talk to your photographer, she can probably choose one photo to edit and send to you right away. An even better option is to talk your photographer before your wedding and let him or her know that you'd like one photo right away for thank you cards.

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