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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Parents in the processional?

I'm not sure how to handle our parents, and what to do for our processional. I have my mom and dad, who are still married, and FI has his dad, his mom passed away about 5 and a half years ago. I also have my birth mother (I am adopted) and her husband (NOT my biological father). I was originally thinking the processional could go like this:

FI and his dad
Bridal party in pairs
Me and my parents.

My questions, however, are 1) would it be weird for FI and his dad to walk down the aisle together? And 2) should I have my birth mother and her husband walk in before FI and his dad, or should they already be sitting down? Would it look too much like we were leaving them out if they were already seated? My birth mother and I are relatively close, I met her when I turned 18, but she's more like a really good friend to me than a mother figure. My MOM is my mother. But I don't want to hurt her feelings.
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Re: Parents in the processional?

  • I think FI walking in with his dad is fine. He could walk in from the side, or down the aisle before things really get going (maybe have the officiant walk with them?). Ask FI and FFIL how they want to do it. I've seen grooms escort in mothers and grandmothers all the time so I don't think it's strange to have him come down the aisle. 

    As for your birth parents, maybe ask both sets what they would be most comfortable with. If you want them to process in, I think that's just fine. If you don't, that's also fine. Talk to your family and see what would work best for everyone. 

    If your adoptive parents are the ones who will actually give you away/walk you down, I don't think there should be too much of a cause for hurt feelings. 
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  • Thank you @PDKH, I think you're right :)
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm not sure how to handle our parents, and what to do for our processional. I have my mom and dad, who are still married, and FI has his dad, his mom passed away about 5 and a half years ago. I also have my birth mother (I am adopted) and her husband (NOT my biological father). I was originally thinking the processional could go like this:

    FI and his dad
    Bridal party in pairs
    Me and my parents.

    My questions, however, are 1) would it be weird for FI and his dad to walk down the aisle together? And 2) should I have my birth mother and her husband walk in before FI and his dad, or should they already be sitting down? Would it look too much like we were leaving them out if they were already seated? My birth mother and I are relatively close, I met her when I turned 18, but she's more like a really good friend to me than a mother figure. My MOM is my mother. But I don't want to hurt her feelings.

    Another thing to do with FFIL.  If FI doesn't want to walk down the aisle during the processional.  You could still have FFIL walk in the processional.  He could be escorted in my a daughter, sister, neice, cousin - anyone, really.

    If your birth mother is more of a friend, I would probably just have her pre-seated in the front of the church.  I would also give her a corsage.  But it really depends on what you want in this case.  I think you are the one who needs to set the comfort level on this.  And you are correct, you mom is escorting you in with your dad, so she will be seen as the MOB.  I don't think anyone will confuse your adopted mom, who raised you, with your bio mom.

  • I'll tell you what FI and I are doing. Both FI and my parents are separated.

    Minister walks in, FI's brother will walk in, FI's other brother and SIL will walk in, FI's dad and sister will walk in, FI will walk in with his mom and escort her to her seat then stand at the front, my two brothers will walk in with my mom, wedding party walks in, then me and my dad will walk in. 

    If you would like to have an "extended" processional, you could have bio Mom + husband walk in as part of it, but you could also have them seated as you would other family members like aunts/uncles. Depends on how you would like to honour her- as a guest, or as a special family member. 

    It wouldn't be weird for FI and dad to walk in together. FI could escort him to his seat, they shake hands or hug- very touching! Or, dad can be escorted in by a sister/niece/cousin. 
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