Early Afternoon Reception Etiquette?

mysticl · October 2013

SomethingBeautiful08 said:

Personally I'm ok with a small "cutting cake" in the same flavor and frosting as the cupcakes even if they are from different sources, as long as the sources are of the same quality and you are doing it because you can't get both in the same place. One being a layer cake the other being a cupcake they are going to taste different.
I don't think it is ok to have different cake at the reception for the bridal party as for the rest of the guests. Cut your cake, have a taste, take a few pictures and then the rest should be wrapped up and set aside while everyone eats cupcakes. There should even be enough for you both to have a cupcake too.
Remember another option for the anniversary cake is just to order the same style cake from the same bakery a year later. Bring pictures and they will even decorate it the same way.

And then you don't have to worry about freezer burn.

aurianna · October 2013

A random cautionary tale on faux layers:

We had a relatively fancy wedding and my mom wanted a big, beautiful cake. We had three flavors (white with strawberry filling, banana cake and chocolate with chocolate cream filling).

Two kitchen cakes in the back (one the chocolate, one the banana).

The cake was 6 tiers.

Bottom aka biggest layer - white with strawberry
2nd layer - chocolate
3rd layer - faux
4th layer - banana
5th layer - faux
top - white with strawberry

Because layers 3 and 5 were fake, the kitchen assumed layer 1 was also fake and they threw it away. It was supposed to serve 30 people and it was the only white cake we had available to our guests.

During the wedding I was really confused why the pieces were really small and why no one seemed to have the white with strawberry (my MoH was looking forward to it). I found out after the fact...............

So if you do faux just make sure everyone is on the same page.

aurianna · October 2013

double posting fun. I wish I could throw one of these away.

Jen4948 · October 2013

If the cut cake and the cupcakes are the same type of cake, just different shapes, no problem.

If you cut a fancy layer but serve cupcakes that appear to be of lesser quality, that's not okay.

And you do need to avoid having an unhosted gap. I'd either omit this gap or change it to a cocktail hour and serve a meal. The meal doesn't have to be elaborate, but it and the cocktail hour do need to fill up your guests.

lauralee1723 · October 2013

aurianna said:

A random cautionary tale on faux layers:

We had a relatively fancy wedding and my mom wanted a big, beautiful cake. We had three flavors (white with strawberry filling, banana cake and chocolate with chocolate cream filling).

Two kitchen cakes in the back (one the chocolate, one the banana).

The cake was 6 tiers.

Bottom aka biggest layer - white with strawberry
2nd layer - chocolate
3rd layer - faux
4th layer - banana
5th layer - faux
top - white with strawberry

Because layers 3 and 5 were fake, the kitchen assumed layer 1 was also fake and they threw it away. It was supposed to serve 30 people and it was the only white cake we had available to our guests.

During the wedding I was really confused why the pieces were really small and why no one seemed to have the white with strawberry (my MoH was looking forward to it). I found out after the fact...............

So if you do faux just make sure everyone is on the same page.

Did they not notice that it was heavier than the faux layers????

clg1213 · October 2013

Going back to another issue -- Some photographers specify in their contract that no other professionals can do photos....I don't know if those folks would find an off-duty relative an issue. In part, it may depend on how "obvious" it is, i.e. if she has a bigger professional-style camera. Also, I know my contract mentions not allowing others to photograph the "staged" (blanking on the word here!) shots. Just something to keep in mind....

maryemoo · October 2013

SomethingBeautiful08 said:

Personally I'm ok with a small "cutting cake" in the same flavor and frosting as the cupcakes even if they are from different sources, as long as the sources are of the same quality and you are doing it because you can't get both in the same place. One being a layer cake the other being a cupcake they are going to taste different.
I don't think it is ok to have different cake at the reception for the bridal party as for the rest of the guests. Cut your cake, have a taste, take a few pictures and then the rest should be wrapped up and set aside while everyone eats cupcakes. There should even be enough for you both to have a cupcake too.
Remember another option for the anniversary cake is just to order the same style cake from the same bakery a year later. Bring pictures and they will even decorate it the same way.

So essentially have cupcakes for everyone, have a small cake for us to cut and taste for show/pictures, and wrap the rest for the anniversary?

maryemoo · October 2013

Jen4948 said:

If the cut cake and the cupcakes are the same type of cake, just different shapes, no problem.

If you cut a fancy layer but serve cupcakes that appear to be of lesser quality, that's not okay.

And you do need to avoid having an unhosted gap. I'd either omit this gap or change it to a cocktail hour and serve a meal. The meal doesn't have to be elaborate, but it and the cocktail hour do need to fill up your guests.

So what you're saying is that if the cupcakes and cut cake for the bridal party are the same it's okay, and then we'd have the top anniversary piece to do whatever with?

Jen4948 · October 2013

maryemoo said:

Jen4948 said:

If the cut cake and the cupcakes are the same type of cake, just different shapes, no problem.

If you cut a fancy layer but serve cupcakes that appear to be of lesser quality, that's not okay.

And you do need to avoid having an unhosted gap. I'd either omit this gap or change it to a cocktail hour and serve a meal. The meal doesn't have to be elaborate, but it and the cocktail hour do need to fill up your guests.

So what you're saying is that if the cupcakes and cut cake for the bridal party are the same it's okay, and then we'd have the top anniversary piece to do whatever with?

Pretty much. But the cakes need to be served to everyone. You can't serve cake to your bridal party but no cake, whether tiered or cupcakes, to the other guests. Plus, it has to be impossible for anyone to discern any difference in quality between what the bridal party is served and what they are served.

maryemoo · October 2013

Jen4948 said:

maryemoo said:

Jen4948 said:

If the cut cake and the cupcakes are the same type of cake, just different shapes, no problem.

If you cut a fancy layer but serve cupcakes that appear to be of lesser quality, that's not okay.

And you do need to avoid having an unhosted gap. I'd either omit this gap or change it to a cocktail hour and serve a meal. The meal doesn't have to be elaborate, but it and the cocktail hour do need to fill up your guests.

So what you're saying is that if the cupcakes and cut cake for the bridal party are the same it's okay, and then we'd have the top anniversary piece to do whatever with?

Pretty much. But the cakes need to be served to everyone. You can't serve cake to your bridal party but no cake, whether tiered or cupcakes, to the other guests. Plus, it has to be impossible for anyone to discern any difference in quality between what the bridal party is served and what they are served.

So that brings me back to the other option of a faux layer... would it be weird to do a cake with a faux layer to cut, a top anniversary piece, and just feed each other the cupcakes?

I never realized this was so complicated.

APDSS22 · October 2013

People usually don't cut the faux layers. They're usually made of styrofoam, which requires special equipment (hot knife) or a sawing motion.

Jen4948 · October 2013

maryemoo said:

Jen4948 said:

maryemoo said:

So what you're saying is that if the cupcakes and cut cake for the bridal party are the same it's okay, and then we'd have the top anniversary piece to do whatever with?

Pretty much. But the cakes need to be served to everyone. You can't serve cake to your bridal party but no cake, whether tiered or cupcakes, to the other guests. Plus, it has to be impossible for anyone to discern any difference in quality between what the bridal party is served and what they are served.

So that brings me back to the other option of a faux layer... would it be weird to do a cake with a faux layer to cut, a top anniversary piece, and just feed each other the cupcakes?
I never realized this was so complicated.

Rather than cutting a faux layer, why not have a real layer that you will cut solely for the "cutting," and then save it for your anniversary? Either that or just cut cupcakes. (I'm not a fan of "feeding" each other.)

LDubHawksFan · October 2013

maryemoo said:

Jen4948 said:

maryemoo said:

Jen4948 said:

If the cut cake and the cupcakes are the same type of cake, just different shapes, no problem.

If you cut a fancy layer but serve cupcakes that appear to be of lesser quality, that's not okay.

And you do need to avoid having an unhosted gap. I'd either omit this gap or change it to a cocktail hour and serve a meal. The meal doesn't have to be elaborate, but it and the cocktail hour do need to fill up your guests.

So what you're saying is that if the cupcakes and cut cake for the bridal party are the same it's okay, and then we'd have the top anniversary piece to do whatever with?

Pretty much. But the cakes need to be served to everyone. You can't serve cake to your bridal party but no cake, whether tiered or cupcakes, to the other guests. Plus, it has to be impossible for anyone to discern any difference in quality between what the bridal party is served and what they are served.

So that brings me back to the other option of a faux layer... would it be weird to do a cake with a faux layer to cut, a top anniversary piece, and just feed each other the cupcakes?

I never realized this was so complicated.

Just cut your topper and save the rest for your anniversary. I would skip the faux layers and just do the cupcake stand with the small topper on top like pp showed. Don't give only bp cake. That isnt a good way to honor them.

maryemoo · October 2013

So that brings me back to the other option of a faux layer... would it be weird to do a cake with a faux layer to cut, a top anniversary piece, and just feed each other the cupcakes?
I never realized this was so complicated.

Rather than cutting a faux layer, why not have a real layer that you will cut solely for the "cutting," and then save it for your anniversary? Either that or just cut cupcakes. (I'm not a fan of "feeding" each other.)

We want to do the feeding (that sounds so weird), just not the smash-in-the-face. So cut the anniversary piece, set it aside, taste cupcakes? Bam. Easiest Solution.

maryemoo · October 2013

Just cut your topper and save the rest for your anniversary. I would skip the faux layers and just do the cupcake stand with the small topper on top like pp showed. Don't give only bp cake. That isnt a good way to honor them.

So us cut/eat cake but no one else and save what we don't for the 1yr?

Jen4948 · October 2013

maryemoo said:

So that brings me back to the other option of a faux layer... would it be weird to do a cake with a faux layer to cut, a top anniversary piece, and just feed each other the cupcakes?
I never realized this was so complicated.

Rather than cutting a faux layer, why not have a real layer that you will cut solely for the "cutting," and then save it for your anniversary? Either that or just cut cupcakes. (I'm not a fan of "feeding" each other.)

We want to do the feeding (that sounds so weird), just not the smash-in-the-face. So cut the anniversary piece, set it aside, taste cupcakes? Bam. Easiest Solution.

That would work. I guess I'm not a fan of the feeding because it seems childish to me. Two adults don't need to "feed" each other.

SP29 · October 2013

@Jen4948 it's supposed to be romantic :P.

Whether or not you feed each other is a personal choice. You could also feed each other a small piece of the cake (just single layer) that you had cut, but save the rest for your anniversary (or at home later). WP and guests (and you and FH if you want more than a sliver) eat cupcakes.

We are having cupcakes, we ordered 100, so there will be some extras. Then we will have a single layer 8' cake to cut and feed. Then we'll keep the rest. I know you're "supposed" to save it for the 1 year anniversary, but I could see us eating the rest of it the next day

We would have to carry it back on a plane a few days later to bring it home- it'll either get freeze/thawed or get stale... we should probably just eat it

maryemoo · October 2013

@SP29 That's what I'm thinking we'll do- cupcakes for everyone, with a small cake that we cut tiny pieces of for us to taste/take pictures, save the rest for the 1year, and then cupcakes for us for more.

Jen4948 · October 2013

SP29 said:

@Jen4948 it's supposed to be romantic :P.

Whether or not you feed each other is a personal choice. You could also feed each other a small piece of the cake (just single layer) that you had cut, but save the rest for your anniversary (or at home later). WP and guests (and you and FH if you want more than a sliver) eat cupcakes.

We are having cupcakes, we ordered 100, so there will be some extras. Then we will have a single layer 8' cake to cut and feed. Then we'll keep the rest. I know you're "supposed" to save it for the 1 year anniversary, but I could see us eating the rest of it the next day We would have to carry it back on a plane a few days later to bring it home- it'll either get freeze/thawed or get stale... we should probably just eat it

I guess I don't find it romantic to feed each other like you (generic) are little kids. That's me.

Dreamergirl8812 · October 2013

Jen4948 said:

SP29 said:

@Jen4948 it's supposed to be romantic :P.

Whether or not you feed each other is a personal choice. You could also feed each other a small piece of the cake (just single layer) that you had cut, but save the rest for your anniversary (or at home later). WP and guests (and you and FH if you want more than a sliver) eat cupcakes.

We are having cupcakes, we ordered 100, so there will be some extras. Then we will have a single layer 8' cake to cut and feed. Then we'll keep the rest. I know you're "supposed" to save it for the 1 year anniversary, but I could see us eating the rest of it the next day We would have to carry it back on a plane a few days later to bring it home- it'll either get freeze/thawed or get stale... we should probably just eat it

I guess I don't find it romantic to feed each other like you (generic) are little kids. That's me.

No one cares.

Jen4948 · October 2013

Dreamergirl8812 said:

Jen4948 said:

SP29 said:

@Jen4948 it's supposed to be romantic :P.

Whether or not you feed each other is a personal choice. You could also feed each other a small piece of the cake (just single layer) that you had cut, but save the rest for your anniversary (or at home later). WP and guests (and you and FH if you want more than a sliver) eat cupcakes.

We are having cupcakes, we ordered 100, so there will be some extras. Then we will have a single layer 8' cake to cut and feed. Then we'll keep the rest. I know you're "supposed" to save it for the 1 year anniversary, but I could see us eating the rest of it the next day We would have to carry it back on a plane a few days later to bring it home- it'll either get freeze/thawed or get stale... we should probably just eat it

I guess I don't find it romantic to feed each other like you (generic) are little kids. That's me.

No one cares.

Sorry, but at least one person caring means that "no one cares" ain't so.

Viczaesar · October 2013

Jen4948 said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

Jen4948 said:

SP29 said:

@Jen4948 it's supposed to be romantic :P.

Whether or not you feed each other is a personal choice. You could also feed each other a small piece of the cake (just single layer) that you had cut, but save the rest for your anniversary (or at home later). WP and guests (and you and FH if you want more than a sliver) eat cupcakes.

We are having cupcakes, we ordered 100, so there will be some extras. Then we will have a single layer 8' cake to cut and feed. Then we'll keep the rest. I know you're "supposed" to save it for the 1 year anniversary, but I could see us eating the rest of it the next day We would have to carry it back on a plane a few days later to bring it home- it'll either get freeze/thawed or get stale... we should probably just eat it

I guess I don't find it romantic to feed each other like you (generic) are little kids. That's me.

No one cares.

Sorry, but at least one person caring means that "no one cares" ain't so.

I read it as nobody cares that you don't like the cake feeding ritual.

LondonLisa · October 2013

maryemoo said:

@SP29 That's what I'm thinking we'll do- cupcakes for everyone, with a small cake that we cut tiny pieces of for us to taste/take pictures, save the rest for the 1year, and then cupcakes for us for more.

Bear in mind that once you cut through the frosting/ fondant it really dries out the cake and turns nasty. The fondant/ frosting really "seals" the cake in so when it freezes it stays nice. Why don't you two just cut a cupcake and feed it to each other?

Also, ditto above about needing to feed your guests more than snacks before 2. Honestly, I would be hungry and grumpy if I went to a 12 wedding and didn't eat until two/ two-thirty (because honestly, the food isn't going to go out as soon as you arrive).

maryemoo · October 2013

Not to worry girls, yesterday I actually met with a close friend who is a part-time wedding coordinator and also in culinary school...she's going to help me hammer out an inexpensive, yummy, summer-time, afternoon meal.

maryemoo · October 2013

Also, regarding the cake, what if I did it kind of backwards, and had a tiny mini cake to cut/feed, and a slightly larger layer beneath for the anniversary?

maryemoo · October 2013

Also thanks to everyone for sticking up for my childish little-kid idea.

Jen4948 · October 2013

Viczaesar said:

Jen4948 said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

Jen4948 said:

SP29 said:

@Jen4948 it's supposed to be romantic :P.

Whether or not you feed each other is a personal choice. You could also feed each other a small piece of the cake (just single layer) that you had cut, but save the rest for your anniversary (or at home later). WP and guests (and you and FH if you want more than a sliver) eat cupcakes.

We are having cupcakes, we ordered 100, so there will be some extras. Then we will have a single layer 8' cake to cut and feed. Then we'll keep the rest. I know you're "supposed" to save it for the 1 year anniversary, but I could see us eating the rest of it the next day We would have to carry it back on a plane a few days later to bring it home- it'll either get freeze/thawed or get stale... we should probably just eat it

I guess I don't find it romantic to feed each other like you (generic) are little kids. That's me.

No one cares.

Sorry, but at least one person caring means that "no one cares" ain't so.

I read it as nobody cares that you don't like the cake feeding ritual.

So what? I'm sure you and @Dreamergirl8812 have opinions no one cares about. We're all entitled to express them just the same.

Early Afternoon Reception Etiquette?

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