Okay for bride to ask bridesmaid to lose weight?

Reprisebride · October 2013

Or grow out their hair?

Viczaesar · October 2013

Reprisebride said:

Or grow out their hair?

Absolutely not. Not under any circumstances.

Reprisebride · October 2013

I'm the bridesmaid, not the bride.

banana468 · October 2013

I'd meet requests like those with laughter because I wouldn't take any grown woman seriously who asked me to do that.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

I would be dropping out of that wedding pronto. The bride sounds nuts.

KeptInStitches · October 2013

Run, Forrest, run! I'd get away from that bride as fast as possible. She's showing her true colors, IMO - if I were you, there'd be no way I could ever look at her the same way again. She should hire models if she wants perfect bodies and hair lengths.

Ven&Radio · October 2013

Reprisebride said:

I'm the bridesmaid, not the bride.

The bride isn't your friend if she asked you to do these things. I'd drop out and end the friendship immediately. Your friends should like and accept you the way you are.

emmyg65 · October 2013

No. If the bride has asked this, get out now. She's probably only going to get crazier as her wedding approaches.

mlg78 · October 2013

Reprisebride said:

I'm the bridesmaid, not the bride.

Oh you poor thing. Get out while you can and before you put any money down on a dress. Then stop and re-evaluate your friendship with this evil, wicked woman.

Fran1985 · October 2013

I had a feeling you were the bridesmaid, because a bride that would be so clueless, rude, and quite frankly, just mean, probably wouldn't ask if it was ok. I would decline to be a bridesmaid because I agre with PP, I think this is going to be the tip of the iceberg.

doeydo · October 2013

What a horrid so called friend. If I were you, I would tell her that I am sorry but I cannot be a bridesmaid. Then, I would think long and hard about our friendship and possibly ending it.

kitty8403 · October 2013

No! And good friends ask you to stand up with them because of who you are, not how you look.
What to do depends on your relationship with this girl. You can either back out or tell her straight up, this is ridiculous, girl, you've been watching too much bad TV.

At the beginning of this process, I gave all my bridesmaids slapping privileges. As in, if I get too crazy, they get to knock some sense back into me. (Of course, they wanted it notarized. . . )

Majelin86 · October 2013

Drop out of that wedding! The bride sounds like a total bridezilla and does not sound like a friend at all.

Jen4948 · October 2013

Get out of there as fast as you can!

No bride has any business making demands on her attendants that they have to look a certain way to stay in the wedding party. She's a lousy friend and a bridezilla.

daveANDkristen · October 2013

I'm just so sorry your "friend" asked you to change your appearance for the sake of her wedding photos. I would most certainly decline being in the WP.

annathy03 · October 2013

Absolutely not, and I'm so sorry someone is asking you to do this. As others have said, I'd decline to be her bridesmaid and take a hard look at the friendship.

JMalettas · October 2013

Ummm, a big, huge, NO. You can't be serious though. This has to be a joke, just to get people fired up & posting. :S

*J

MobKaz · October 2013

JMalettas said:

Ummm, a big, huge, NO. You can't be serious though. This has to be a joke, just to get people fired up & posting. :S

*J

Is it OK? Absolutely not. Does it happen? Sadly, yes....and worse. I know BM's who were told, following the loss of a pregnancy, to "put that on hold until after my wedding". There are some "peaches" currently posting who are insisting BM's pay huge coin for cloned hairstyles so as not to "ruin pictures". Then there are the special ones who demand tattoos get covered, make up be worn/not worn......the list of self absorbed, mind numbing demands go on and on.......Sadly, nothing surprises me anymore.

You are right about one thing, however. Many of these new, self entitled, special brides are a joke.

hockeywithadiamond · October 2013

I'd probably cut my hair super short and gain 5 lbs or just start wearing baggy clothing to make her panic.

katieg520 · October 2013

Definitely not!!!!! When a bride asks someone to be in her wedding party, she is asking them "as is" and should be happy that you accepted.

ei34 · October 2013

No. It's not okay to ask a bridesmaid to do either. I was in a bridal party once where the bride and all the other BM's were Filipina or Colombian, and about a week before the wedding, the bride asked me to go tanning so "my skin would match" (I'm Irish/Italian and as pale as it gets lol). The look I shot her answered her question

Any request to change something physical can be hurtful to the BM you ask. Good luck dealing with the bride if you choose to remain in the wedding party!!

MobKaz · October 2013

katieg520 said:

Definitely not!!!!! When a bride asks someone to be in her wedding party, she is asking them "as is" and should be happy that you accepted.

Do you plan on following your own advice?

ashley82488 · October 2013

I would hope not...

HisGirlFriday13 · October 2013

The only acceptable questions for a bride to ask a BM are: "What is your price range for a dress?" and "What style of dress are you most comfortable wearing?" And both of those questions must be asked in private, and the answers kept secret.

Anything else is beyond the pale, unacceptable, and fully into bridezilla territory.

thefuturemrshawks · October 2013

Heck no! I'm sorry she asked you to change, that isn't cool. I would definitely decline.

Rebl90 · October 2013

I can't get over the fact that a Bride had the nerve to say anything like that to a BM.

CamiSelene · October 2013

Omg, no way!!!! That is crossing the line! If I were you, I would have a serious talk with her. Tell her how you feel. She's obviously not a good friend if she can't be sensitive to your feelings.

cjdoster16 · October 2013

I have a bridesmaid with a thyroid problem who is trying to lose weight. Whether she does or not, I couldn't care less. When trying to figure out what sorts of dresses I want my bridesmaids to wear, it was her (not my Maid or Matron of Honor) that I took to DB to see what would look good. Since the rest of my girls are skinnier, I know they'll find something they'll like (all my girls will pick their own dresses), but I wanted to make sure that she would have something that she would feel good in.

Because, you see, SHE IS MY FRIEND AND THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO. We help build each other up, not mold each other into some sort of BS "vision."

I hope that whatever you decide that it works out for you.

jneen101 · October 2013

This is so ridiculous. Can I ask how she said this to you? I need to hear how it was said. Not that any way would make it okay but I just need to hear how it played out because it's just so rude.

heatheremanderson · October 2013

I know of many situations where a wedding party was picked entirely on the body type of the bridesmaids so that the bride had 'symmetry' for her pictures. This is a blatant disrespect towards friendships and human decency alike. A bride is only entitled to ask her bridesmaids to wear a dress that she chose providing the dress does not make the maid/matron feel uncomfortable or awkward and that is within budget *unless she is willing to pay*.

As a former 9 time bridesmaid - I can honestly say I have had to say no to a bride on more than one occasion. If they are truly your friend and want you part of their day - compromises can be made.

Marzipan13 · October 2013

Say no, say no, say no, run the other direction quickly.

Run back only if it's for the purpose of punching the bride in the face.

Okay for bride to ask bridesmaid to lose weight?

Re: Okay for bride to ask bridesmaid to lose weight?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards