would you rather...

lovesclimbing · October 2013

Another vote for cheaper. Even when a dress passes for cocktail... it's never a dress a woman would wear again because it's not HERS. She had to pick something within guidelines. I have pretty dresses in my closet, but my go-to for an event is never an old bm dress. Hey, has anyone ever worn a bm dress again? Thread hijack but would be interesting to hear about.

Stupid quote box:

I know at least one of my BMs has worn her BM dress again. My MOH said she'd wear hers again. I haven't seen her in it but she was saying she'd wear it on a date or something so, no surprise I haven't seen her in it.

I also think $250 is ridiculous for a dress. I don't own anything that costs that much. My own wedding dress cost less than that! (before alterations)

jessicabessica · October 2013

Try Nordstrom's. They have free shipping both ways, and a nice selection of dresses online.

katieg520 · October 2013

PDKH said:

painterlt said:

They have a petite selection for my short ladies, and Im not overly concerned about uniform length.

Trust me, they will need alterations and hemlines. Designers typically err on the side of caution and give some room to work with.

^^^^ THIS!!! I have never bought a dress that didn't need to be altered. I know VERY FEW women who actually fit the dresses that designers make.

climbingsingle · October 2013

I'll be the lone dissenter. I've worn J. Crew for a few weddings that I've been in. The dresses are great. I wouldn't mind paying $250.00. I'm also very short and I didn't have to hem the knee-length one I wore.

ei34 · October 2013

The last two weddings I was in, the bridesmaids dresses cost me $250 and $340 (before alterations). One was actually from J. Crew. Both brides were thrilled because in their opinion, they were dresses that we'd wear again. But neither were dresses that I would've ever picked for myself, I donated both to charity the day I got them back from the dry cleaners after the weddings. Everyone has a different sense of style, what one person feels is something she'd wear again doesn't guarantee that others will agree.

When I got married I asked my two sisters (co-MOHs) and good friend (bridesmaid) to wear any dress they liked in any shade of purple. They had three different body types not to mention budgets, and I was glad they each ended up in a dress they liked and could afford.

bradypsu · October 2013

I'm also going to be a dissenter. I've worn J.Crew dresses for two different weddings as well as had my BMs buy them for my own. I've paid less for them both times than i did for David's Bridal dresses with alterations or any other BM dress I've ever worn.

The first wedding, we were all different heights/sizes and only one person needed alterations. No one needed a hem due to their petite (and now tall in some styles) options. We were given choice of style, so I just ordered a few different styles and since free shipping/free in store returns, I had no problems finding one that worked.

Also, you can purchase the dresses during one of their 25% or 30% sales. You can get free shipping by ordering from the red phone in the store. In addition, if you have a student ID (my sister does) you get an extra 10% off in store on top of the sale (had to order on their red phone). I ended up paying a little under 150 for the dress the first time.

The second time, I bought the dress on the 30% off everything sale. Paid 175. Again, I ordered a few different styles to see which one worked. Once i received one and knew it fit, i watched it online. J.Crew often discontinues styles/colors. The dress went onsale so I returned the one I had and I purchased it the sale one during extra 30% off sale. I ended up paying 90 for the dress, no alterations needed.

When my girls wore them in navy, they spent between 60 and 175 on the dresses depending on the neckline they chose and when they purchased. I'm on their email list so I just forwarded any sale emails i received to all the girls. I had one girl need alterations (out of 7), all different shapes/bra sizes/heights. I think this is probably due to the fact that many of their dresses have A-line skirts so it's a matter of finding a top that works.

I would say that if you're really set on them and the girls are comfortable up to around 150, it would definitely be possible. Especially if you give the option of different styles in the same color/fabric opening up sale options. I've clearly done the sale thing a few times so I know that it works not just from one experience. I will say that it really helps to have a J.Crew store close by for ordering/returns...if not, it makes it a lot more difficult.

delujm0 · October 2013

First, let go of the "they can wear it again" thing. No matter where the dress is from, there's almost no chance that will ever happen.

That having been said, i went with J Crew for my BM dresses. My BM were fine with $250; however, they all waited for one of the 25% or 30% off sales on the website (they happen pretty frequently) and ordered then (so they wound up being under $200). Most of them ordered 4-5 styles/sizes at once, and then easily returned the ones they didn't want to the closest store (most regular stores do not stock the dresses; fortunately the sizing is pretty close to a normal J Crew dress so it's easy to figure out). Only one of the girls will need alterations.

One of my girls actually figure out which one she wanted, and which size, and then odered it on eBay for $60. This is the girl that needs alterations anyway, and that worked out great.

These dresses are definitely not cheap - so if you're going to require specific shoes/jewelry/accessories/hairstyles/makeup, you should cover those for your girls. I have told my girls to wear any silver shoes and jewelry that they want to (all already have jewelry and most already have shoes so very few additional purchases are necessary). I have also left it up to them as to whether they want their hair and makeup done - though i will be providing a team to do that for them at our getting ready suite if they want to take advantage of it.

JellyBean52513 · October 2013

I've only been a BM once, and this is how the dress convo went:

"I want you to be a BM!"
"OMG yay thank you I'm so honored!"
"Great! Your dress is $160. You're a size small, right? I'll order it for you and call you when it comes in. Bring me the cash when you pick it up."
".....alrighty...."

I had no idea how the whole thing worked, but at the time I was in college and only spent $160 on my books. That was a lot of money for me to shell out on a dress that, while quite cute and didn't need alterations, I didn't even get to see before I purchased and that I only wore once.

davisse3 · October 2013

I went with J Crew for my bridesmaids dresses. I had 5 bridesmaids with very different heights and bust sizes. Not a single one paid full price or got them altered and they all fit really well. One has already worn hers again (actually she wore it before my wedding).

J Crew does have really good sales - sign up for their email list to watch out for them. They occasionally do them specifically for their wedding line, but sales for their regular clothing lines apply. If I remember correctly, they had a really good Black Friday sale in store and online last year.

I did tell my bridesmaids they could choose their own style as long as they were same color and fabric and I did ask their opinion on color and fabric before picking. You can get free fabric swatches from J Crew, too, which was helpful.

kiwikiss56 · October 2013

Jcrew is having a 30% off sale right now (until Oct 20th!). I totally had written off jcrew for BM dresses...until today. 30% off plus free shipping makes most of their dresses $150-$175. If most of your girls are average height they likely won't have to get it altered (length) and also come in petite sizes if you aren't particular about the actual length. I actually called jcrew today and they told me that the color I want is being continued for Spring (yay!). They also told me which cuts were being discontinued (I am looking at the cotton cady btw) and that they will likely be discontinued in January - which likely means these cuts will go on super sale come January. When is your wedding? I think as long as your BMs have enough time to wait for a sale you should be able to get them well below $250.

Depending on what "dark purple" color you are looking at - if you search for the actual color on the jcrew site all of the dresses come up in that color including "non bridesmaid dresses." Ex. if you search for dark eggplant there are a number of dresses that are $100 or $200 (+30% off)

MoreChocolatePlease · October 2013

In all the weddings I have ever been in (including 1 in which I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to basically pick the dress with the bride for the whole bridal party) I have never worn the dress after the wedding. Some I have liked perfectly fine - as a bridesmaid dress. As others have mentioned, however pretty is it, it's not my style or my preferred color or isn't what I would pick to flatter my body. Even if you think it's totally wearable, you aren't necessarily coming from the same viewpoint as your girls. And personally $250 is a lot for me to spend on a dress I really like and would pick out for myself in real life.

I will say, even through you can get them on sale, for busy ladies it could be stressful stalking the site for sales. What if they wait too long for a sale and the color is discontinued/sells out?

I also recommend checking out Nordstrom as some else mentioned (free shipping/free mail or in store returns). They have some really nice dresses under $200. There are also plenty of good quality, pretty dresses out there that aren't marketed as bridesmaid dresses but that would function perfectly well as them. Personally I think once the title "bridesmaid" is slapped on a dress the cost goes up.

ashleyep · October 2013

I'd spend $250 on a dress if I liked it. I probably wouldn't wear most of the JCrew BM dresses again, even though they are better looking than a lot of BM dresses. My friend thought she was doing us a favor by having us go through David's Bridal - except they don't carry my size, so a $130 dress quickly became a $230 dress that I'll never wear again. At least JCrew dresses look good.

Also in regards to what someone else said about Alfred Sung - I'm going to a bridal salon tomorrow with some of my BMs specifically to look at Alfred Sung and I was told they run close to or above $200. Even Weddington Way puts them at $180+. I'd love to know where you got Alfred Sun for $130-$170 @PDKH

SomethingBeautiful08 · October 2013

I've actually worn both of the BM dresses I've gotten again. I wore the lavender, tea length halter top dress with a pair of fairy wings as a Halloween costume years later and my roommate wore the skirt as a costume. As a BM in my college friend's wedding she just asked us to get blue dresses. We ended up going together and by accident picked out a cute halter top dress that happened to be the same designer, though different style as one of the other girls got. I wore that dress to another wedding years later, not bad for a $20 dress.

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