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How detailed should programs be?

muppet686muppet686 member
5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
in Catholic Weddings
I'm putting together programs for our full mass wedding, but keep going back and forth on how detailed they should be. I would estimate that only about 25% of our guestlist is Catholic (my fiance and I, a handful of friends from the churches we've belonged to over the years, and half of my fiance's family) so most would be unfamiliar with a mass. I've been to one Catholic wedding (not a full mass) that went through what the priest said, the responses, and the readings- but that becomes a huge program quickly and I'm not sure it is necessary since many people in attendance wouldn't necessarily want to fully participate anyway due to religious differences. I'm not sure how to strike a balance between letting people know what is going on, enabling them to participate where they feel comfortable doing so (and helping out Catholics who haven't been to a nuptial mass before), but not pressuring people into participating or wasting paper. This has become something of a flashpoint between me and my not-Catholic family who already think I'm being divisive and noninclusive by having a mass in the first place, sigh. Does anyone have any thoughts that could help? Thank you!

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Re: How detailed should programs be?

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    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'm Protestant, and I love a very detailed program. I'm comfortable participating in many parts of the service, but if the responses aren't written down, I can't. I would include as much as you can, with the exception of the text of the readings, and let people participate as they would like.

    If there's anything you're particularly concerned about, discuss it with the priest. I recently attended a Catholic wedding where guests were asked to raise their hand over the couple to give a blessing. The priest explained that and asked that anyone who felt so moved do so. He also at one point invited people to kneel or sit, as they felt comfortable.

    And- explaining your ceremony is never a waste of paper!! It's the important bit.
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    mommapizanomommapizano member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Ours lists the order of mass, including the full reading text, the music that will be played and some explanation (we are doing some cultural rituals like the arras, lasso and unity candle). We have a lot of non-Catholics so we want people to be able to follow along.

    I would say you don't need to be crazy detailed but if you want to, it won't hurt. Our program is 4 pages long since we included the reading and gospel text. Information is a good thing :)

    We also talked to our priest and he said he makes is very clear when to sit, stand, explains communion, etc. 
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    professorscienceprofessorscience member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    There are some sample programs in the CW website that's linked in the stickies above.

    A fairly small percentage of our guests were Catholic, but I really didn't go into TOO much detail in our programs.  I included the responses for the readings and Psalm, but I didn't think it was necessary to include much else.  Our priest gave a few tips for guests, and he also instructed the wedding party to sort of "lead the way" at the rehearsal.  My programs ended up being an 8.5x4" card, front and back, and they were great.
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    lalaith50lalaith50 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Personally, I love a detailed program, but I think the majority of people don't care. They'll skim the names of "who's who" but that's about it. I think it's nice to list the order of things (entrance, readings, homily, vows, Eucharistic prayer, communion, recessional, etc.) But I dont think most people would follow along with an entire word-by-word dictation.
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    Mkincaid2014Mkincaid2014 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer
    I am Protestant and my FI is Catholic (very active), and one of the greatest causes of feeling excluded and unwelcome in the Catholic church for me personally is the fact that it is difficult to follow along as an "outsider."  Definitely make the program as detailed as possible.  Your non-Catholic guests will really appreciate being given a chance to participate in your ceremony as they are able/comfortable.      
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