Flower Girl

angelcc20 · October 2013

I want to ask my Fiance's step-niece to be my flower girl but there are a few problems:

1. they live pretty far away so I don't even know if they would attend the wedding! is it rude to ask if I don't know if they can attend?

2. Do I have to wait until I send out the invitations to ask her to see if they would show up or is that too late of a notice. (6-8 weeks seems like a small amount of time to get the dress and everything.)

3. how do I ask from that far away? and can I ask the mother over a message or is that rude. I don't really know her but I know her kids since they would come over and my fiance and I would baby-sit them.

sorry I have so many questions I am completely lost since my mom did not have a wedding ceremony or reception and I am the second oldest so I don't know anyone close to me who has planned a wedding or knows how to go about it.

SP29 · October 2013

No it is not rude to ask- they will let you know if they can attend or not, and thus whether step-niece can be in the WP or not. You would ask her, or her mother in the case of a young child, if step-niece would like to be your flower girl in the same time frame as the rest of your WP. This is usually done approximately 6-9 months out. So yes, you would ask before you send your invitations.

Let the mom know the main wedding details- date and location specifically. Give her some time to think about it if she needs to (determine finances, work schedule, time off, etc).

Calling step-niece's mom over the phone would be appropriate. I would try to make the conversation as personal as possible, so I wouldn't text or e-mail her. Fiance could also call, since it is his SIL and ask on behalf of the both of you (though I would still be present for the conversation).

angelcc20 · October 2013

Thank you so much!! That helped a lot, I will ask her over the phone myself (my fiancé is not good at that lol ) thank you!!!!!

daveANDkristen · October 2013

Also, you do not have to have a flower girl, so if they end up declining (like if they aren't able to travel), don't sweat it.

angelcc20 · October 2013

I never thought about that, I wanted to have one but I don't really have a lot of other options since most of my family members don't have little kids. thanks for the idea!

Flower Girl

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