Wedding Etiquette Forum

Refreshments for 4pm Reception?

2

Re: Refreshments for 4pm Reception?

  • You need to host your guests. Period. Your priorities are so out of whack. And believe me, your guests will be mad and judge you for prioritizing decor more than hosting them.

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  • You know what the guests from my wedding always tell me when they see me?  How great the food was at my reception.  Not the music or decor on the table, but the food.  Even my cousin encouraged her son to have their reception at my venue due to the food quality.  So reallocate your money to boost your food choices.

    As for rings, my H has a tungsten ring and it cost us $50 at overstock.com.  As long as you don't want diamonds all over your wedding band, you can save a lot of money on your rings if you consider the alternate metals.

    And with 30 people, you should be able to have your reception at a private room in a restaurant.  When you inquire with the restaurant, don't tell them its for a wedding.  Just ask them what it would cost pp to host a dinner.  The restaurant would have all the decor that you need.  Or can you have your entire wedding ceremony and reception in someone's backyard?  Ask a friend to get ordained online and perform your ceremony.  That should save you some money on an officiant.
  • Four o'clock is tea time, not supper time. In "society" dinner is served after eight o'clock and even as late as ten -- a six o'clock supper is early, not late. And even people who somehow manage in this nine-to-five working world to get their supper on the table routinely by 5:30 are not going to be hugely inconvenienced by having to take their supper at seven just once.

    My typical guestlist for a formal afternoon tea is between thirty and sixty people. Tea is easy to self-cater which makes it much less expensive: a formal tea from a caterer will run between $15 and $30 per person. I don't think I've ever spent more than $400 for tea, even when I had a guestlist of eighty. The menu for a formal tea is invariantly hot breads, sandwiches, and cakes -- and tea, of course. It may also include fruit, coffee, chocolate, puddings, lemonade and wine or champagne; which takes it beyond the $30 per person, of course. Making my own scones, petit fours and tea sandwiches I can typically serve a formal tea for about $5 per person, plus $20 each for three or four young teenagers from the local boys-and-girls club to pass the plates among the guests and keep the sandwiches coming so that I can focus on "hostessing".

    The secret with serving sandwiches for tea is to make them very tiny -- get an unsliced loaf and have the baker slice it very thin -- half a centimetre -- less than a quarter-inch thick. Have it sliced lengthwise if your baker is able to do that (you should get twelve lengthwise slices plus two crusts from a standard loaf). Then make your sandwiches out of the long thin bread slices, cut the crusts off, and cut the sandwiches into oblong "fingers" about one inch wide and four inches long. You use the same amount of bread as you would to make two ordinary thick sandwiches per each guest, but you end up with about twenty of the teeny sandwiches each.

    If you have a wedding cake then you don't need petit fours, which is nice because those are the most finicky and most expensive part of a formal tea.

    Frankly, I far prefer an elegant afternoon tea to a rushed early supper. There's nothing wrong with what you are planning.

  • I prefer formal tea to an early-evening informal supper anytime; but having read a couple more of your posts I have to say that you might get better advice from asking other ladies in your town. I do know that in the smaller communities especially in the north, days end very early in the wintertime, and with a larger proportion of the community being self-employed as farmers and farm-service or oil-field service providers, that the nine-to-five constraints of big-city life are not nearly so rigid. The flip-side, of course, is that a lot more people are expecting their dinners early than is the case in the city.

    As far as decor goes, consider what you might be able to borrow from the ladies guild at one of the churches in town. They often have pretty china, vases and tablecloths that look lovely. The church secretary is often one of the most in-the-know people in a small town about what the expectations are for weddings and other events, and might be able to provide you with insider advice tuned to your own particular small town.
  • Oh my goodness. This reminds me of a lot of church weddings I've been to.

    On the rings--you do realize that you can buy a less expensive band now and upgrade down the road, right? There are some beautifully creative options on Etsy.

    On the food--you're having a dry wedding, correct? What's your food budget now? For $600 ($20/head), you should have lots of options. I imagine you can do a nice meal for less if you get creative. This is small enough you could have relatives or church ladies help you cook and you would save a bundle.

    On the decor--I'm not sure what you are wanting, but less is more, especially with the right location.

    On the timing--can't help you there; the others already have given you great advice.

    Your guests are the reason you're doing this in the first place. Otherwise, you'd just elope. So hosting them well should be top priority.
  • Four o'clock is tea time, not supper time. In "society" dinner is served after eight o'clock and even as late as ten -- a six o'clock supper is early, not late. I'm pretty sure that we're not talking about "society" in this post. And please, tell me again about how four o'clock is not supper time. I work with the elderly. They prefer dinner at 4 or 4:30PM. I work one of the 10 wealthiest zip codes in the country, so please, please tell us how they do it in "society" again. And even people who somehow manage in this nine-to-five working world to get their supper on the table routinely by 5:30 are not going to be hugely inconvenienced by having to take their supper at seven just once.

    My typical guestlist for a formal afternoon tea is between thirty and sixty people. Tea is easy to self-cater which makes it much less expensive: a formal tea from a caterer will run between $15 and $30 per person. I don't think I've ever spent more than $400 for tea,I can buy and make a lot of food more substantial than tea and sandwiches with $400! even when I had a guestlist of eighty. The menu for a formal tea is invariantly hot breads, sandwiches, and cakes -- and tea, of course. It may also include fruit, coffee, chocolate, puddings, lemonade and wine or champagne; which takes it beyond the $30 per person, of course. Making my own scones, petit fours and tea sandwiches I can typically serve a formal tea for about $5 per person, plus $20 each for three or four young teenagers from the local boys-and-girls club to pass the plates among the guests and keep the sandwiches coming so that I can focus on "hostessing".

    The secret with serving sandwiches for tea is to make them very tiny -- get an unsliced loaf and have the baker slice it very thin -- half a centimetre -- less than a quarter-inch thick. Have it sliced lengthwise if your baker is able to do that (you should get twelve lengthwise slices plus two crusts from a standard loaf). Then make your sandwiches out of the long thin bread slices, cut the crusts off, and cut the sandwiches into oblong "fingers" about one inch wide and four inches long. You use the same amount of bread as you would to make two ordinary thick sandwiches per each guest, but you end up with about twenty of the teeny sandwiches each.

    If you have a wedding cake then you don't need petit fours, which is nice because those are the most finicky and most expensive part of a formal tea.

    Frankly, I far prefer an elegant afternoon tea to a rushed early supper. You, and you alone. Sorry, but I prefer real food. There's nothing wrong with what you are planning.

    Did you actually read the OP before posting this? Who is this even directed to?
  • edited October 2013
    I am not going to give my full budget breakdown on here because I know that I will just be attacked. But I have seen the number of suggestions for just moving the time and I am starting to think that is the better idea. Thinking if I push it a few hours to 6:30 that then everyone would have a chance to eat and I may not even need as much food as I was planning with my idea.

    I had set the original budget at $500 for food thinking that was reasonable. But when I went and got prices from all the places in town my cheapest offer was $900. It is because we are having a smaller wedding that they are jacking the price up per plate. Most have a minimum charge of $x/plate for 75 guests and then you pay that rate even if you have less. 

    Hosting my guests is one of my priorities, if it wasn't I'd have no food at all. I am honestly trying to find a way to stretch the budget as far as it will go, but I cannot afford to spend $1100 on every other aspect other than food. 

    @Scribe95 I find that this is pretty rude claiming I picked the date for no good reason. The reason for the date wasn't mentioned here because it has nothing to do with how I am going to feed them, I intended people to work around the selected date with their suggestions. For your information that date is our 5th anniversary and to me it is a good enough reason to pick it.

    @OliveOilsMom I had originally thought of having it in my parents backyard and looked into getting a friend to do it. But I live in Canada and it is either a priest or a clerk from City Hall who can legally do it ($400 for the licence and their cost alone) and we are pretty far North so there is a good chance it'll be too cold for an outdoor affair.
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  • Wait - now you're going to have a 6:30 ceremony? On a weekday? And not serve dinner? 

    That's way worse in my opinion. I eat dinner around 7:30 on weekdays because I don't even get home from work until around 6:30. If I showed up from after work at 6:30 and you didn't feed me, I'd be beyond pissed. 

    Look if you want a reception beginning anytime between 4:00 and 8:00, find a way to serve a meal. That's it, bottom line. 

    Try local Italian, Mexican, or BBQ restaurants, grocery store catering, a local bakery, find out where local companies cater in lunches from. 

    Also - WHY do you care about your dating anniversary SO much? You're about to create a new, wonderful, even more important anniversary. Why does it matter? FI and I will be together over 5 years when we get married - we don't feel the need to pick that anniversary as our wedding date because we'd rather pick a day where more family and friends can join us. Why? I just don't get it. 
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  • If you are serving enough food, whatever it is, so that everyone can get a plate full plus (as you said, 1.5 plates) then I think that is fine. Enough food to feed someone for "dinner".

    I only suggested the lasagna, pasta, salad, bread, etc as an idea. I wasn't suggesting you get this catered, but buy the frozen pre-made lasagnas from the grocery, buy or make (cheaper to make) salads and pasta, buy some bread loaves. Just an idea for something that would give you "dinner". 

    Personally, I think if you have a wedding during the week, having it after work hours would be more convenient, then guests are potentially not taking time off work. But, I would still be prepared to give each guest a plate full of food (whatever is). 6:30 is fine, but even at that time, your guest worked until potentially 5pm (possibly still had to leave work early to account for travel), then had to run home and change/freshen up, grab the SO and/or kids,then drive to your ceremony site for 6:15/6:20. Where in that time period would they have time to make dinner? Unless you are going to start the ceremony much later, still provide a meal (again...whatever that is, sandwiches are fine, but there needs to be enough to eat). Then your entire event could still be over by 9 pm. Even if you pushed the ceremony back to 7:30 pm, then had your reception from 8-10 pm that would work too and be more conducive to appetizers only. 
  • @PDKH It isn't for you to get. Yes, it may be more important for you to pick that day but it is more important to us to pick this day, even if it does inconvenience some guests. How about trying to argue with all the people getting married on 11/12/13 (which is a Tuesday)? Their reasons are just as valid as yours and mine. This date is a date we live with for the rest of our marriage, it isn't something that I am just going to pick any random date for.

    I actually plan on utilizing grocery store and bakery catering to cover this, those are costs I can afford because they provide smaller items rather than a full meal. The restaurants and caterers are the ones quoting me huge prices for plated meals. Also as a small town we don't have many restaurants that offer catering to begin with, so those that do are very pricy. 

    In your case you wouldn't even have been able to attend a 3:00 wedding so how would it be worse moving it further back? If a guest could get off of work to make it for 3 without eating, they can make it off of work and eat before coming for 6:30. There will be food, as much of it as I can afford to give. And of course I will be personally speaking to all of my guests before the wedding and they'll know what to expect for food and it'd be a good idea to at least have a light supper before coming. 
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  • I am not going to give my full budget breakdown on here because I know that I will just be attacked. But I have seen the number of suggestions for just moving the time and I am starting to think that is the better idea. Thinking if I push it a few hours to 6:30 that then everyone would have a chance to eat and I may not even need as much food as I was planning with my idea.

    I had set the original budget at $500 for food thinking that was reasonable. But when I went and got prices from all the places in town my cheapest offer was $900. It is because we are having a smaller wedding that they are jacking the price up per plate. Most have a minimum charge of $x/plate for 75 guests and then you pay that rate even if you have less. 

    Hosting my guests is one of my priorities, if it wasn't I'd have no food at all. I am honestly trying to find a way to stretch the budget as far as it will go, but I cannot afford to spend $1100 on every other aspect other than food. 

    @Scribe95 I find that this is pretty rude claiming I picked the date for no good reason. The reason for the date wasn't mentioned here because it has nothing to do with how I am going to feed them, I intended people to work around the selected date with their suggestions. For your information that date is our 5th anniversary and to me it is a good enough reason to pick it.

    @OliveOilsMom I had originally thought of having it in my parents backyard and looked into getting a friend to do it. But I live in Canada and it is either a priest or a clerk from City Hall who can legally do it ($400 for the licence and their cost alone) and we are pretty far North so there is a good chance it'll be too cold for an outdoor affair.
    NO, that's even worse!  6:30 is dinner time, period.  If you're not serving enough food to be a meal and it's a week day you need to start your ceremony no earlier than 8 pm.  I don't understand why this is so hard for you to comprehend.

    RE this:

    "Hosting my guests is one of my priorities, if it wasn't I'd have no food at all."

    No.  Not you would have no food at all, you would have no GUESTS at all.  It is never acceptable to invite people to an event and not give them food.  If you don't want to be bothered to spend an appropriate amount of money to host your guests properly, elope.  If you want guests, their comfort (i.e. FOOD) comes before everything but the marriage license.  It's leaps and bounds more important than the decor or your jewelry or your dress. 



  • I still consider this plan inconsiderate. Maybe even more so. You guests now have to leave work (estimate this at 4:30 or 5PM for most people), drive through rush hour to get home, change, leave their house in enough time to not be late getting to your venue at 6:30, and you still want them to find time to get a meal in there??? I don't know your area, but even trying to get through a drive-through line at a fast food place between the hours of 5 and 6 in my area is a 20-30 minute affair. If you stick to this plan, be prepared for your guests to be grouchy, hungry and to remember your wedding as one that was poorly planned and not properly hosted.

    I live in an expensive area and I can get grocery catering or pizza place catering for 30-60 people for about $300-$500. This includes a full meal. Shop around a bit until you find a better price. OR do as other posters suggested and prepare food yourself. If you limit your guest list to 30 people, as you stated in a previous post, you can do this for pretty cheap. I love the lasagna, bread and salad idea posted by another person. Or make a couple crocks of chili, pulled pork, etc. All inexpensive, easy and crowd-pleasing.
  • @PDKH It isn't for you to get. Yes, it may be more important for you to pick that day but it is more important to us to pick this day, even if it does inconvenience some guests. How about trying to argue with all the people getting married on 11/12/13 (which is a Tuesday)? Their reasons are just as valid as yours and mine. This date is a date we live with for the rest of our marriage, it isn't something that I am just going to pick any random date for.

    I actually plan on utilizing grocery store and bakery catering to cover this, those are costs I can afford because they provide smaller items rather than a full meal. The restaurants and caterers are the ones quoting me huge prices for plated meals. Also as a small town we don't have many restaurants that offer catering to begin with, so those that do are very pricy. 

    In your case you wouldn't even have been able to attend a 3:00 wedding so how would it be worse moving it further back? If a guest could get off of work to make it for 3 without eating, they can make it off of work and eat before coming for 6:30. There will be food, as much of it as I can afford to give. And of course I will be personally speaking to all of my guests before the wedding and they'll know what to expect for food and it'd be a good idea to at least have a light supper before coming. 
    Bold #1:  Seriously?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  It's a day on the calendar.  It doesn't have significance until you give it some by getting married on it.  

    Bold #2:  If you push the time back your guests may push back the time they leave work so they are still facing the same time crunch.

    Bold #3:  Rude, rude, rude.  I could see this idea causing guests to decline.  
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  • I am just letting everyone know I am done with this thread. Some can't even give constructive feedback (not to say that many of you did give some constructive feedback though). 

    I don't know why I bothered. You people aren't coming to my wedding so I'm not going to try and argue with you because nothing I have thought of changing is good enough. I specified I was giving a plate and a half of food, not good enough. Reception anywhere from 4-8, not good enough. My wedding date, not good enough. If I cancelled the whole reception many of you would still say not good enough.

    Whatever happened to the wedding day being the most important day in OUR lives, not our guests lives. When did we have to start making ridiculous sacrifices to accommodate every single guest that'd forget the wedding within a year anyways. It is us that is going to remember this day, not them.

    I say if they could get to a 3:00 wedding they could easily get to a 6:30 wedding. If my wedding isn't important enough for them to come and be a bit hungry then too bad for them.

    I am honestly double guessing using this website at all as many of you seem to forget the emotion behind planning. I was trying to be reasonable and change my ideas based on suggestions but still they get torn apart, I get called rude and that I don't care, I get told I am stupid for picking a date that is important to me. 

    Thanks a lot for this.
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  • @PDKH It isn't for you to get. Yes, it may be more important for you to pick that day but it is more important to us to pick this day, even if it does inconvenience some guests. How about trying to argue with all the people getting married on 11/12/13 (which is a Tuesday)? Their reasons are just as valid as yours and mine. This date is a date we live with for the rest of our marriage, it isn't something that I am just going to pick any random date for.

    I actually plan on utilizing grocery store and bakery catering to cover this, those are costs I can afford because they provide smaller items rather than a full meal. The restaurants and caterers are the ones quoting me huge prices for plated meals. Also as a small town we don't have many restaurants that offer catering to begin with, so those that do are very pricy. 

    In your case you wouldn't even have been able to attend a 3:00 wedding so how would it be worse moving it further back? If a guest could get off of work to make it for 3 without eating, they can make it off of work and eat before coming for 6:30. There will be food, as much of it as I can afford to give. And of course I will be personally speaking to all of my guests before the wedding and they'll know what to expect for food and it'd be a good idea to at least have a light supper before coming. 
    Picking your dating anniversary knowing full well it will inconvenience your guests is flat out rude and selfish.   Grow up.

    If the date is more important than your guests, just elope.  Because the minute you start inviting guests, the day is no longer all about you.  
  • @JessicaJupiterI am from Canada too, please stop giving us a bad name.

    Where in Canada are you from? Perhaps I can help with finding you some better options for your reception.
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  • Fail...just fail.  This is an exercise in selfishness.
  • I am not going to give my full budget breakdown on here because I know that I will just be attacked. But I have seen the number of suggestions for just moving the time and I am starting to think that is the better idea. Thinking if I push it a few hours to 6:30 that then everyone would have a chance to eat and I may not even need as much food as I was planning with my idea.

    I had set the original budget at $500 for food thinking that was reasonable. But when I went and got prices from all the places in town my cheapest offer was $900. It is because we are having a smaller wedding that they are jacking the price up per plate. Most have a minimum charge of $x/plate for 75 guests and then you pay that rate even if you have less. 

    Hosting my guests is one of my priorities, if it wasn't I'd have no food at all. I am honestly trying to find a way to stretch the budget as far as it will go, but I cannot afford to spend $1100 on every other aspect other than food. 

    @Scribe95 I find that this is pretty rude claiming I picked the date for no good reason. The reason for the date wasn't mentioned here because it has nothing to do with how I am going to feed them, I intended people to work around the selected date with their suggestions. For your information that date is our 5th anniversary and to me it is a good enough reason to pick it.

    @OliveOilsMom I had originally thought of having it in my parents backyard and looked into getting a friend to do it. But I live in Canada and it is either a priest or a clerk from City Hall who can legally do it ($400 for the licence and their cost alone) and we are pretty far North so there is a good chance it'll be too cold for an outdoor affair.
    So you know your priorities are out of whack and don't care? If you can't afford the wedding you want, with 30 people and fancy decorations, then unfortunately, don't have the wedding you want, have the wedding you can afford. If you can't afford to feed your guests, elope, or do parents only.
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2013
    I am just letting everyone know I am done with this thread. Some can't even give constructive feedback (not to say that many of you did give some constructive feedback though). 

    I don't know why I bothered. You people aren't coming to my wedding so I'm not going to try and argue with you because nothing I have thought of changing is good enough. I specified I was giving a plate and a half of food, not good enough. Reception anywhere from 4-8, not good enough. My wedding date, not good enough. If I cancelled the whole reception many of you would still say not good enough.

    Whatever happened to the wedding day being the most important day in OUR lives, not our guests lives. When did we have to start making ridiculous sacrifices to accommodate every single guest that'd forget the wedding within a year anyways. It is us that is going to remember this day, not them.

    I say if they could get to a 3:00 wedding they could easily get to a 6:30 wedding. If my wedding isn't important enough for them to come and be a bit hungry then too bad for them.

    I am honestly double guessing using this website at all as many of you seem to forget the emotion behind planning. I was trying to be reasonable and change my ideas based on suggestions but still they get torn apart, I get called rude and that I don't care, I get told I am stupid for picking a date that is important to me. 

    Thanks a lot for this.
    Don't worry about people forgetting your wedding in a year.  If you do it as planned, they'll definitely remember it, but not in a way that you would want them to!
  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2013
    You know what, I even tried to run with your Wednesday wedding, even though I think your reasoning is faulty. And then you told everyone your guests didn't really matter...yeah, sorry can't help you there. If you don't care about people, don't invite them. 

    6:30 wedding - cool fine, different, but whatever. But then feed people! Why is that hard? 2:30 ceremony with appetizer reception ending by 4:30? Different, expect a lot of declines, but fine.  

    Look, I guarantee you every single woman on here had to make a sacrifice or compromise for her wedding. That's called being an adult. All you can do is try to have some grace about it. Screaming that you don't care about your guests and that we are all just trying to tear you down is not graceful. It speaks of immaturity. 

    No matter how you get down to it here, you're putting a date on the calendar above the people you care about. You're demanding they make sacrifices to watch you get married - how is that fair?
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  • I am just letting everyone know I am done with this thread. Some can't even give constructive feedback (not to say that many of you did give some constructive feedback though). 

    I don't know why I bothered. You people aren't coming to my wedding so I'm not going to try and argue with you because nothing I have thought of changing is good enough. I specified I was giving a plate and a half of food, not good enough. Reception anywhere from 4-8, not good enough. My wedding date, not good enough. If I cancelled the whole reception many of you would still say not good enough.

    Whatever happened to the wedding day being the most important day in OUR lives, not our guests lives. When did we have to start making ridiculous sacrifices to accommodate every single guest that'd forget the wedding within a year anyways. It is us that is going to remember this day, not them.

    I say if they could get to a 3:00 wedding they could easily get to a 6:30 wedding. If my wedding isn't important enough for them to come and be a bit hungry then too bad for them.

    I am honestly double guessing using this website at all as many of you seem to forget the emotion behind planning. I was trying to be reasonable and change my ideas based on suggestions but still they get torn apart, I get called rude and that I don't care, I get told I am stupid for picking a date that is important to me. 

    Thanks a lot for this.
    Whatever happened to actually being a decent human being and good host?  If properly caring for your guests is SUCH a giant burden for you, ELOPE.



  • YOUR wedding stops being about YOU the second you invite GUESTS. You can have:
    •  an early afternoon ceremony followed by a refreshments reception - 2pm ceremony, reception until 5pm.
    • a mid-afternoon ceremony with an evening dinner reception - 3,4,5,6,7 pm ceremony with some sort of dinner
    • an evening ceremony with desert reception 7:30 or later ceremony.

    If you would rather inconvenience your guests than host them properly, just don't have any.

     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Wow, what an amazing, self-centered, cluster fuck.


  • When I say I cannot afford this in my wedding I am serious.   Then my suggestion is to postpone your wedding until you and your FI can save up a bit more money, so that you can properly host your guests and have the look you want.  I'm not suggesting this in a snarky way either, I mean it as a sincere suggestion.  I was with my FI for 11 years when we got engaged. . . he was in a PhD program and neither of were making much money at the time, we knew we couldn't host the wedding we really wanted, and so we waited to get engaged.  We are having a longer engagement in part to maximize saving for the wedding, too.  Don't rush to get married it you don't have to.  I don't know who would be happy coming to a wedding where everything looked like dollar store decor on the tables but had a half decent meal.   Everyone!  No one wants to go to a wedding and be hungry or leave hungry.  No one will remember your decor, but everyone will remember whether or not they enjoyed the food and whether or not they were adequately fed.  I am not willing to cheap out on our wedding bands and getting a matching set for $50 on eBay just so my guests can eat. Even my mother agrees with me that it is a better idea to invest in the other aspects of the wedding that will be more memorable for everyone.   Again, if you can't afford to get married and host your guests properly- which it sounds like you cannot- then either elope or postpone the wedding until you can actually afford it.  Your mother is giving you horrible advice, please stop listening to her.  I guarantee that your guests will only remember that you did not feed them properly, and that they were pissed.  That's it.  They are not going to remember your dress, your centerpieces, your bouquet, nothing else. 

    I have priced local caterers and since I live in a very small town they have little competition so the prices are pretty steep (even steeper per person when they see it isn't a large wedding). I have priced these smaller foods and they do seem reasonable cheaper that plating a meal. I don't know if there is confusion over how much food people will get so let me put it this way: If they had a plate and put a little bit of everything on that plate, each guest would probably have at least a plate and a half of food. This sounds better than how you were originally presenting it.  Alcohol is also completely out of the question here, not just for budget reasons but we have a good percentage of guests who would ruin it.

    I know this is a sticky issue. But if I have my ceremony too early in the day then everyone gets mad at me for asking them to leave work too early, if I hold it too late then it'd be very dark and I wouldn't get any quality pictures and many guests would still complain it is too late.   As others have suggested, you should really reevaluate your reasoning for having an awkwardly timed Wednesday night wedding.  Being in love with the date because it is the anniversary of your 1st date my seem sweet and sentimental to you, but to others it is going to come off as childish and selfish since it is a large inconvenience to your guests to attend. . . no matter how much they love you, getting to this wedding will be difficult for them.  And again, if you don't feed them properly on top of that, they are not going to have fond memories of your big day.


    @PrettyGirlLost I do understand that typically a large chunk comes out. But with a budget of $2000 I cannot have such a large chunk.   Then I'm sorry, but you are not budgeting properly.  Because no matter what your budget actually is, ~50%-60% is going to be the cost of the reception (food and beverages  foremost, then any rental fees, decor, etc.)  This is because there are a number of other important components that cannot be as easily cut and sacrificed. Heck, it is $140 alone for the marriage license and an extra $250 just for an officiant... if I didn't have high percentage costs like this I would be able to throw that money into my guests but I cannot.  All the more reason to postpone, although I suspect some of the elements you say cannot be cut are elements you would prefer not to cut due to the look you are going for, and in actuality they can be cut.

    This of course is why I am aiming to have the ceremony start at 3:00, this way everyone will be gone by 5:00 and can eat supper at home.

    @mysticl I can understand how it can look to a guest. But as mentioned above a lot of my costs are non-negotiable and relatively high compared to my budget already.   As a guest who is close to the couple would you not prefer for them to do what they could and allow you to go home in time to eat a supper after something to hold you over?   No, actually I'd prefer them to properly host me, and if they didn't I'd be hurt and annoyed.  Would you expect them to sacrifice things like rings that they are supposed to have for the rest of their lives just so the guests can have a full meal?  I'd expect them to sacrifice superfluous things like flowers, bouquets, centerpieces, venue, so that I could have a decent meal after taking a day off of work or a half day, bringing you a gift, etc.

    I will certainly make sure all guests understand what will be provided for food before the day of the wedding. Heck, if they want to skip their lunches and rush in I would even allow them to grab a small bite to eat before the ceremony started.



    I am not going to give my full budget breakdown on here because I know that I will just be attacked. No one is going to attack you, no one has thus far, but we would indeed point out to you that you have not gone about it the right way if you don't have your reception around 50% of your budget.  But I have seen the number of suggestions for just moving the time and I am starting to think that is the better idea. Thinking if I push it a few hours to 6:30 that then everyone would have a chance to eat and I may not even need as much food as I was planning with my ideaThis is actually a worse time logistically for your guests.  They most likely will not be able to eat before your ceremony and reception, since they will have to leave work early so that they can change, drop of kids, then head to your venue during rush hour traffic.  If you are going to change the time, then have a later ceremony and reception, like starting at 8pm.  If you feel it will be too dark to take photos, then either consider doing a bridal photo session prior to your wedding day, consider doing a first look and all photos prior to your ceremony, choose another day, and time, etc.  Your photos should not be a priority over your guests. . . if they are, then just elope. 

    I had set the original budget at $500 for food thinking that was reasonable. But when I went and got prices from all the places in town my cheapest offer was $900. It is because we are having a smaller wedding that they are jacking the price up per plate. Most have a minimum charge of $x/plate for 75 guests and then you pay that rate even if you have lessThey are not jacking up their prices, they just have minimum pricing.  Most caterers and venues have minimum pricing levels you must meet.

    Hosting my guests is one of my priorities, it doesn't really seem like it is though, based on your budget and some of your other comments if it wasn't I'd have no food at all. I am honestly trying to find a way to stretch the budget as far as it will go, but I cannot afford to spend $1100 on every other aspect other than food.   Then you really should consider postponing the wedding and saving more money.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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