XP: Plus 1 and Addressing Invites Questions

Re: XP: Plus 1 and Addressing Invites Questions

• phira member

  

  October 2013

  It might be helpful to make this distinction:

  
  

  Significant other (SO): Like it sounds. Romantic partner of one of your guests.

  
  

  Plus one (+1): Guest of your guest who is single.

  
  

  Anyone 18 and older who is in a relationship should be invited with their significant other. But you don't have to extend +1s to single guests if you can't afford to, or if there's no space.

  
  

  So, for your cousins who are 19 and dating someone, invite their significant others. Even if they're living at home, they should get their own invitation.

  
  

  In terms of letting people bring dates/guests if there ends up being space/money ... I think it's okay and not B-listing. To me, B-listing is when you list your own guests that you're planning to invite if there's money/space, and then you send out the invitations as you get declines. The +1s are not people you know and would normally invite. So it's not the same way.

  
  

  Finally, we're not doing inner envelopes either. So anyone getting a +1 will have "and guest" on their envelope.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• SP29 member

  

  October 2013

  Agree- if you are inviting a guest and their SO, that SO is not a plus one. The SO should be invited by name.

  
  

  When you give someone a plus 1, you are allowing them to bring a guest of their choosing- this could be a date, or even a good friend. 

  
  

  Similarly, if you invite a guest (we'll call him John) and their SO (Jane), but Jane can't come, John would still come and Jane wouldn't. But if you invited "John and guest", he could technically bring anyone with him if Jane couldn't come. It would also be offensive to invite them as John and Guest, as Jane is not a random plus one, she's John's SO and should be named as such. 

  
  

  I don't think it would be considered B listing if at a later date you told an already invited guest that they could bring a plus one if they wished. 

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• ohmrs2014 mod

  

  October 2013

  Thanks ladies. I guess I have some work to do in order to get names for everyone's SOs.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• cowgirl8238 member

  

  October 2013

  50ShadesofMe said:

  I posted this on the Invites and Papers board but I know that since its also Etiquette related, I figured I'd post here too, plus this board gets more traffic.

  
  

  So FI and I are going to be going through the guest list because we are having our graphic designer do our envelopes for us so we need to send all the addresses and names to her.  (When we sent the STDs, we only wrote "and guest" on two of the envelopes, one being an out-of-towner from Florida and since he is traveling from so far we are definitely extending a plus 1 to him; and the other being a cousin who is living with his GF, but no one in the family knew her last name and we left a few messages, but no answer LOL, yes my family doesn't like calling back LOL).

  
  

  In terms of the plus one, I know that we need to invite everyone who is in a relationship with a plus one, which is totally fine.  Is it ok to invite all the truly single people by themselves and then later on if we have room if people decline extend a plus 1 verbally?  Kind of like "hey, can't wait to see you at the wedding, by the way, please feel free to bring someone with you."  I don't consider this B-Listing, but I want to be sure. Extending a "plus one" to truly single guests can be done as you get declines.  I personally would try to do this in circles though.  As in extending it to family singles, then extended family, then friends.  To me it would be odd if half of my friends got to add on a "date" and me and others did not.

  
  

  Secondly on the plus 1, I have two cousins, both 19, both dating someone.  Do we extend the plus 1 to them since they are technically teenagers and living at home?  Just want to be sure on this since they do have SOs.  Anyone over 18 gets their own invitation, regardless of residence.  Also any SO should be addressed by name (not "and guest")

  
  

  And lastly, we aren't doing inner envelopes, so is it ok to add the "and guest" to the outer envelope for those that we are extending the plus 1 for (which is really only the bridal party.  Everyone else we have names for because all our guests in relationships have been together for years so we all know each other.) Yes, you can put "and guest" on the outer envelope. (That's what I am doing as well)

  
  

  Thanks ladies!  Hope none of this is too confusing!  LOL.

  Hopefully you don't have too much trouble tracking down all of the SO's names.  It can be a daunting task but imagine being the SO of someone and being called out as an "and guest" versus the B&G taking the time to include you by name.
  

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