This might drive me up a wall... Brother went to a wedding

IMathlete · October 2013

I had a friend who got "married" so that her spouse would get the higher pay. They had known each other 7 days, and it was a business arrangement. He would send her part of his pay while he was deployed. They divorced when he came back from deployment. There are definitely people who exploit the system. Hopefully, that's rarely the case, but the benefits are enough to tempt people.

I think it's horrid to marry for those reasons.

sarahmarie409 · October 2013

Maggie0829 said:

marshmallow1982 said:

Is there some sort of practical reason why people in the Army/Navy get married young?

Its a shame that Sue's parents didn't go, if the marriage works out and they may regret not going.

For anyone in this situation please tell me if I am wrong...

H has a cousin who proposed to his GF the day after he got back from training (he is maybe 21 and she is 20) and they got married the next week and are now planning a PPD (gag!) In my view point it seems that these young couples feel that the only way that they can stay together during deployments, training, etc is to get married. I think that they feel that having that marriage license will keep them together. In fact H's cousin who I mentioned above proposed to his GF to "lock her in" for lack of a better word so he didn't have to worry about her cheating on him while he was away. Right there speaks volumes of this persons maturity level.

I know that the above is not always the case and exceptions do happen for people who get married very young, but the majority of marriages that happen young whether it be military or otherwise just never work out.

Edited because I have spelling issues.

I know people who have gotten engaged/married before deployments and very quickly at that but not really to "lock someone in" because honestly being married doesn't stop anyone from cheating...as sad as that is to say, it is the truth. Tons of married people cheat on each other every day when they live in the same house never mind being an ocean apart. I know this is obviously a terrible reason to get married but military people tend to get married so young because they get a lot more money when they are married as well as much better housing and benefits. Some people just rush into a marriage with their BF or GF without thinking it through for the long term, probably why so many of these marriages end badly.

happyfor25 · October 2013

My H and I met when he was in the Navy and stationed in my city. We were both 19. We married at the JOP 8 months after we met (we were both 20). Everyone thought I must be pregnant but I was not. Our reason was that his ship was going to leave for San Diego (across the country) and my family was very strict about not living together nor could I afford to relocate there so we got married because we didn't want to be apart. I ultimately got pregnant very soon after we married so he transferred to another ship so that we could stay near my family through my pregnancy.

We have been married over 25 years; so with a lot of work, these marriages can work out.

MrsLillyG · October 2013

clairekundinger said:

There is also a serious pay difference in a married and not married military man! The basic housing allowance is way different plus separation pay. It's not a great reason to get married but it's certainly a reason I've seen people get married! My ex husband was in the ARMY and we saw a lot of that.

Well this is very interesting. A person gets paid more because they are married?

mysticl · October 2013

MrsLillyG said:

clairekundinger said:

There is also a serious pay difference in a married and not married military man! The basic housing allowance is way different plus separation pay. It's not a great reason to get married but it's certainly a reason I've seen people get married! My ex husband was in the ARMY and we saw a lot of that.

Well this is very interesting. A person gets paid more because they are married?

Their base salary stays the same. However, they get a higher housing allowance if they have dependents (spouses and children count as dependents so a single parent would also be eligible) they only get it for the 1st dependent, you do NOT get an increase for each child. If they live on base the number of dependents they have (as well as the age and gender of the children) determines what type of home they are eligible to live in. There is also something called family separation pay if they are gone for more than 30 days straight.

MrsLillyG · October 2013

mysticl said:

MrsLillyG said:

clairekundinger said:

There is also a serious pay difference in a married and not married military man! The basic housing allowance is way different plus separation pay. It's not a great reason to get married but it's certainly a reason I've seen people get married! My ex husband was in the ARMY and we saw a lot of that.

Well this is very interesting. A person gets paid more because they are married?
Their base salary stays the same. However, they get a higher housing allowance if they have dependents (spouses and children count as dependents so a single parent would also be eligible) they only get it for the 1st dependent, you do NOT get an increase for each child. If they live on base the number of dependents they have (as well as the age and gender of the children) determines what type of home they are eligible to live in. There is also something called family separation pay if they are gone for more than 30 days straight.

I guess I would find this analagous to me getting twice the health insurance coverage for when I am married, i.e. my H and I get coverage too as opposed to just me.

mysticl · October 2013

It is kinda like that.

The housing allowance is based on 3 factors: Location, the service member's rank, and if the service member has a dependent. The military moves you around and salary is based on rank and time served, so your standard of living could change from one place to another because the cost of living at a new duty station is higher but your salary didn't change. The housing allowance is adjusted based on location to help the family maintain their standard of living.

This might drive me up a wall... Brother went to a wedding

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