Guests Attended Wedding but No Gift?

loca4pook · October 2013

KickAssMOH said:

I got married a few weeks ago too, and a few people did not give gifts, which we expected. In one instance, we recently attended this couple's wedding and gave a generous gift and they gave us nothing. Oh well. We got some nice cards with nothing inside - fine, who cares. Some of our less financially stable friends gave us big fat checks (that we felt SO guilty about depositing), and some wealthy family members gave very little. Also, we unexpectedly got a few really nice gifts from people who we did not invite. I also found that several friends of mine gave back the exact amount or same type of gift that I had given them at their weddings, which i found funny/interesting (do people really keep close track for that many years??) We're happy and we're moving on, and you should too.

Call me selfish, but THAT would bug me.

marshmallow1982 · October 2013

loca4pook said:

KickAssMOH said:

I got married a few weeks ago too, and a few people did not give gifts, which we expected. In one instance, we recently attended this couple's wedding and gave a generous gift and they gave us nothing. Oh well. We got some nice cards with nothing inside - fine, who cares. Some of our less financially stable friends gave us big fat checks (that we felt SO guilty about depositing), and some wealthy family members gave very little. Also, we unexpectedly got a few really nice gifts from people who we did not invite. I also found that several friends of mine gave back the exact amount or same type of gift that I had given them at their weddings, which i found funny/interesting (do people really keep close track for that many years??) We're happy and we're moving on, and you should too.
Call me selfish, but THAT would bug me.

I'd be interested to know if that couple gave you a thankyou card.

KickAssMOH · October 2013

marshmallow1982 said:

loca4pook said:

KickAssMOH said:

I got married a few weeks ago too, and a few people did not give gifts, which we expected. In one instance, we recently attended this couple's wedding and gave a generous gift and they gave us nothing. Oh well. We got some nice cards with nothing inside - fine, who cares. Some of our less financially stable friends gave us big fat checks (that we felt SO guilty about depositing), and some wealthy family members gave very little. Also, we unexpectedly got a few really nice gifts from people who we did not invite. I also found that several friends of mine gave back the exact amount or same type of gift that I had given them at their weddings, which i found funny/interesting (do people really keep close track for that many years??) We're happy and we're moving on, and you should too.
Call me selfish, but THAT would bug me.
I'd be interested to know if that couple gave you a thankyou card.

Honestly, I can't remember if they thanked us or not, but I am 100% sure that they received their gift, because they cashed the check right away. H is more irked by it than I am. I've been lurking on this site for long enough to know that you just can't expect gifts from everyone.

southernbelle0915 · October 2013

photokitty said:

KickAssMOH said:

I got married a few weeks ago too, and a few people did not give gifts, which we expected. In one instance, we recently attended this couple's wedding and gave a generous gift and they gave us nothing. Oh well. We got some nice cards with nothing inside - fine, who cares. Some of our less financially stable friends gave us big fat checks (that we felt SO guilty about depositing), and some wealthy family members gave very little. Also, we unexpectedly got a few really nice gifts from people who we did not invite. I also found that several friends of mine gave back the exact amount or same type of gift that I had given them at their weddings, which i found funny/interesting (do people really keep close track for that many years??) We're happy and we're moving on, and you should too.

Was it an odd amount?? I'm curious - like if someone wrote you a check for $20.03 bc they got married in 2003 and you thought it was cleave :-p
If it was $50 or $100 I'm sure it was coincidence. But I'm tempted to start writing an odd dollar amount just to check this theory out myself! :-D

We got one check for $111.11. Since I love palindromes and other numerical patterns, this was particularly pleasing to me.

photokitty · October 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

photokitty said:

KickAssMOH said:

I got married a few weeks ago too, and a few people did not give gifts, which we expected. In one instance, we recently attended this couple's wedding and gave a generous gift and they gave us nothing. Oh well. We got some nice cards with nothing inside - fine, who cares. Some of our less financially stable friends gave us big fat checks (that we felt SO guilty about depositing), and some wealthy family members gave very little. Also, we unexpectedly got a few really nice gifts from people who we did not invite. I also found that several friends of mine gave back the exact amount or same type of gift that I had given them at their weddings, which i found funny/interesting (do people really keep close track for that many years??) We're happy and we're moving on, and you should too.

Was it an odd amount?? I'm curious - like if someone wrote you a check for $20.03 bc they got married in 2003 and you thought it was cleave :-p
If it was $50 or $100 I'm sure it was coincidence. But I'm tempted to start writing an odd dollar amount just to check this theory out myself! :-D

We got one check for $111.11. Since I love palindromes and other numerical patterns, this was particularly pleasing to me.

That's sweet! It shows they really know you well and put thought into the gift

ashleyep · November 2013

KickAssMOH said:

photokitty said:

KickAssMOH said:

I got married a few weeks ago too, and a few people did not give gifts, which we expected. In one instance, we recently attended this couple's wedding and gave a generous gift and they gave us nothing. Oh well. We got some nice cards with nothing inside - fine, who cares. Some of our less financially stable friends gave us big fat checks (that we felt SO guilty about depositing), and some wealthy family members gave very little. Also, we unexpectedly got a few really nice gifts from people who we did not invite. I also found that several friends of mine gave back the exact amount or same type of gift that I had given them at their weddings, which i found funny/interesting (do people really keep close track for that many years??) We're happy and we're moving on, and you should too.

Was it an odd amount?? I'm curious - like if someone wrote you a check for $20.03 bc they got married in 2003 and you thought it was cleave :-p
If it was $50 or $100 I'm sure it was coincidence. But I'm tempted to start writing an odd dollar amount just to check this theory out myself! :-D

Now that I am re-reading what I wrote, I realize I sound like an idiot. Sorry. So, the amounts were not unusual, but they were just EXACTLY what I had given them. I went from a poor grad student, to a poor professional, to a successfull adult...and I gave wedding gifts along the way that I could afford at the time. It went from $100, to 125, and then up in $25 increments, based on what I could afford. I guess I have a good memory. Basically, the longer a friend had been married, the less money they gave us as a gift because I had attended their weddings back when I was poor. Ha.

Yeah, some people definitely keep track. My cousin told me that she gave our other cousin B exactly what B gave her at her wedding. How much I give pretty much depends on my mood that day, it seems odd to keep track of that.

Jen4948 · November 2013

ktjanesmom said:

Personally I think that is a high number of guests that did not give a gift. I would be wondering myself, if something happened. I am curious about something else. All of you brides who say you dont expect anyone to bring you a gift..did/will you be registering?

No polite bride or groom "expects" anyone to bring a gift. That's because although good manners does recommend giving a gift to a couple whose wedding you are attending, it doesn't mandate it. Whether or not to give a gift is strictly up to the guest-gifts can't be used as "entrance fees" to attend; nor can guests be expected to "cover their plates" or reimburse the couple for the costs of entertaining them by means of the financial value of their gift.

Registering doesn't inform guests that you "expect" whatever is on your registry as a gift-it is just a wish list. You can't penalize guests who bring gifts that aren't on the registry (or none at all).

KittyKaty20 · November 2013

I don't expect gifts-although I have some lovely stationary I'd love to send out as Thank You cards! My entire family knows how much I love cards, so I sincerely hope we receive cards, if not other gifts, from our friends/family.

I don't expect my bridesmaids to give me gifts, although they probably will, since I gave gifts for their weddings.

indianaalum · November 2013

KittyKaty20 said:

I don't expect gifts-although I have some lovely stationary I'd love to send out as Thank You cards! My entire family knows how much I love cards, so I sincerely hope we receive cards, if not other gifts, from our friends/family.
I don't expect my bridesmaids to give me gifts, although they probably will, since I gave gifts for their weddings.

Dont assume they will. My husband stood up in 2 of our wedding parties own weddings and gave them each a gift. Neither of them gave us a gift. Never assume

Guests Attended Wedding but No Gift?

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