Dear Prudence,
My son recently divorced a woman he had been briefly married
to, who has returned home to the European country where he met her. She
couldn’t find a job in the States and came to loathe all things
American, including my son. She sent me an email full of criticisms of
him and all the “bad things” he had done while they were married. I
figured this was just an example of her character, but one thing has
stayed with me. She said that my son fathered a child by his previous
fiancée. My son had told me previously that this woman had had a child
and I asked him directly if he was the father. He said he wasn’t. The
divorce has been very hard on my son, and I haven’t mentioned the ex’s
email, but I keep wondering if I have a grandchild. Both my children are
in their 30s and I don’t see any other grandchildren in the foreseeable
future. It would break my heart if I have a grandchild I will never
meet. Do I have a right to know? And how should I approach this with my
son?