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Already Wedded in Hometown, Working on Reception Where We Live

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Re: Already Wedded in Hometown, Working on Reception Where We Live

  • Stefany113Stefany113 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    If anyone would travel 3 hours (with weekend trains...1.5 hours each way) after a day of work (or before a night shift) to have a glass of wine at a friend's house and be able to stay only an hour, raise your hand. 

    Whether this is YOUR NYC situation or not, this is MY and MY FRIENDS' situation. I don't expect them to travel out for something like this and at a time when trains are so sketchy. I'm the one whose being considerate in this case...in terms of location. Trust me. Manhattan is at least somewhat central. We aren't talking about a wedding, which people would travel for...an informal get together.

    At the risk of everyone here taking this the wrong way, I think it's truly a shame that etiquette gets in the way of good intentions. And I don't say that to start any kind of a fight. But, it is absolutely true. I want to do something nice, but it's not what everyone else thinks is appropriate, so it instead became "rude." In the truest essence, renting a room and purchasing a couple hundred dollars worth of food for people who have the OPTION to purchase a drink is NOT rude. Only if you slap the words "just married" or "wedding" on the end. 

    If anyone is questioning my efforts, getting apps for 30-50 people is a couple hundred bucks and getting alcohol, (beer and wine) is another thousand or so at every place I checked. 

    Next time someone asks me what we are doing for a party in NY (happens daily), I'm going to say "We can't afford to have one." 

    This is my last post. Y'all can post away. But let's all really think about it. When did doing nice things become so inappropriate and rude? I think it's a bummer. :(

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  • Fran1985 Fran1985 member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    Stefany113 said:

    If anyone would travel 3 hours (with weekend trains...1.5 hours each way) after a day of work (or before a night shift) to have a glass of wine at a friend's house and be able to stay only an hour, raise your hand. 

    Whether this is YOUR NYC situation or not, this is MY and MY FRIENDS' situation. I don't expect them to travel out for something like this and at a time when trains are so sketchy. I'm the one whose being considerate in this case...in terms of location. Trust me. Manhattan is at least somewhat central. We aren't talking about a wedding, which people would travel for...an informal get together.

    At the risk of everyone here taking this the wrong way, I think it's truly a shame that etiquette gets in the way of good intentions. And I don't say that to start any kind of a fight. But, it is absolutely true. I want to do something nice, but it's not what everyone else thinks is appropriate, so it instead became "rude." In the truest essence, renting a room and purchasing a couple hundred dollars worth of food for people who have the OPTION to purchase a drink is NOT rude. Only if you slap the words "just married" or "wedding" on the end. 

    If anyone is questioning my efforts, getting apps for 30-50 people is a couple hundred bucks and getting alcohol, (beer and wine) is another thousand or so at every place I checked. 

    Next time someone asks me what we are doing for a party in NY (happens daily), I'm going to say "We can't afford to have one." 

    This is my last post. Y'all can post away. But let's all really think about it. When did doing nice things become so inappropriate and rude? I think it's a bummer. :(

    It is not rude at all to organize a gathering where you pick up the tab for apps. In fact it would be extremely nice. The problem is when you try to be sneaky and host something that you are not actually hosting. If you want to say hey guys, dh an are going to be at this bar next Saturday if anyone wants to join" that's perfectly fine. But if your saying you are hosting an at home reception you actually have to host it. That's the rude part. It's not even connected to the wedding. It's just like a sneaky way to host is to spring the bill on your guests. It's like if you tell ur best friend you got them a present and then charge her for 30 percent of it. Yeah you paid for 70 percent but she didn't ask for it, why should she have to pay for 30 percent of it?

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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Etiquette and good intentions should be one and the same.

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